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| | Younger people and lack of emotionPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | This is something that has been on my mind a little bit for some time now. I manage a workshop that fixes donated computers for use in schools, and since we are a non-profit organization, I rely quite a bit on work experience students from the local high schools to come in and help out.
I have been noticing what I think might be a bit of a scary trend, and that is a total lack of emotion when talking about personal issues. For example, I had one student bring up the recent death of a relitave, burial plans, etc... and he spoke about it in a way that made me think that it didn't bother him at all. He volunteered all the info, I didn't ask a thing.
The other day I was discussing the Virginia Tech shooting with another volunteer and his response was "eh, these things happen these days"... Personally, I was quite bothered about the incident, and was also surprised about this student's response.
Maybe it's just the people I get at the workshop, but has anyone else noticed an increase in the lack of emotion shown towards events that would normally be considered difficult to talk about or deal with? | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:47:29 AM | | Very Interesting Post. It's is true what you say about the lack of emotion from the younger generation. (I hate that term) But things do happened like that every single day. What are we supposed to do about the VT shooting? Hate the Parents? Hate The shooter? Cry? or live life? I say we live our lives and worry about ourselves. Yes, it is a tragedy, but the past is the past and life goes on. I know your not talking about JUST the VT shootings. Your talking about in more general terms, but I thought this is a good example. Maybe older generations were brought up to care for other and give to others. Not me. Care for who care for you and they will care for you....hopefully. So tell me what did all of the member do when they heard of the VT shootings? Give money? Cry? or Pray? Does that make you a better person because you did so. Or will that make you feel better as a person. Please, the person who posted this reply, I would like to debate about this. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:02:35 AM | Perhaps I have a slightly different view than some other people my age - my grandparents were a huge part of my growing up/raising, and as such I may very well have some values more common to that generation.
But overall I am seeing a lack of empathy these days. Yes, we should take care of outselves and those who take care of us, but sometimes we have to put outselves in somebody else's shoes and see and feel things from a different perspective.
Crying, praying, giving money, etc for something like the VT shooting doesn't necessarily make someone a better person; but it does show a level of empathy and compassion for others, something that I think our society lacks a whole lot of these days. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:16:23 AM | Ok, let me put to you this way. If I show a certain level of empathy to other. What good does that do me in life. It is absolutely useless. What will it make me feel if I put myself in someone shoes who has a effed up life? Yes, it might make me live my life better, but for how long? We've all felt sympathy for others and changed our lives for other, but how long did we proceed on living our lives differently? A couple of weeks? Maybe months? To me, it's just pointless to do something like that. It won't help me prosper or be a better man. And yes, someone idiotic fool on POF might say "ohh, typical mental state of a teenager." I've always though this way since I was young. And hopefully till the day I pass away.
This is complete irrelevant to the subject, but I want the world to change. And to do that we must all want to change. You think if just one person wants everything to change it will? Not even 10,000 people can do anything about the gun control or anything evil in general. Don't take the term "evil" to literal for all you fools out there. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 5:46:32 AM | In our area, we are having a huge problem with an increase of incidents that involve teens & young adults violent behaviour.
Some Examples:
1. 35 year man shot in the head as he sat in his truck on a residential street. Charged are a fifteen year old boy and an eighteen year old boy.
2. 32 year old man died in hospital from his injuries. As this man was getting off the Transit Bus on his return home from work, He was attacked, severly beaten and robbed by four boys (Aged 16-20) .
3. A 16 year old high school boy was charged with assault on a female bus driver. When the driver asked for his school I.D for the reduced fare, the boy shoved his wallet into her face.
4. Five teen girls (aged 12-14) are currently being sought as they were responsible for attacking, beating & robbery attempt on a 23 year old woman as she waited for the bus.
It seems that not only is there a lack of emotion & empathy occuring in some (SOME-NOT ALL!) young people these days but also seems to be an increase of violent behaviour.
Supramk3, You had stated: "If I show a certain level of empathy to other. What good does that do me in life. It is absolutely useless....It won't help ME prosper ".
This way of thinking could be some of the reasons why Society is seeing such an increase of disrespectful, rude & sometimes dangerous & deadly behaviour .
I really, really empathize with the younger generation! Society has taught them that they have "Rights" & that they are entitled to those "rights".
There seems to be some self-centered, spoiled-brat lessons that have been taught to this generation that if anyone challenged them of thier "rights & entitlements", thier feelings would be hurt (Aww poor baby!).
I'm so glad that I have graduated from the "Old School" way of teaching that along with "Your Rights", You must work towards earning your entitlements, be Responsible for actions & be prepared for the consequences that go along with those "rights". | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 7:27:53 AM | | If these symptoms are becoming evident in the younger generations, we need to hear more feedback about it in this thread, personal observations, not just local crime statistics. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 7:54:00 AM | I am so sick of people whining about the younger generation! WHO MADE THEM THIS WAY!
It is mostly our age who run things: Politics, studios, schools, this is alot of where the problems lie, we have made their society so violent and disfuntional what do you expect.
People turn a blind eye to everything it seems, homeless, schools. I mean really look around at the world today they didn't make it this way we did and they are reacting to what we have givin them.
Now before the flaming begins I don't condone violence of any sort, but no one looks after these kids anymore, parents are single, working 2 or 3 jobs just to pay the bills, looking for a new love because society says oh no your single poor you, kids are left to their own devices alot of the time, they are immature, they really don't know any other way.
We have taught them the "I" generation they didn't teach themselves.
So if you want to blame anyone, blame ourselves, not the kids. They are not really taught manners, respect, morals, self-esteem, work ethics, trust, love, all this comes from everyone not just out parents but with the attitude of ' It's not my kid, not my problem.
How many of us know our neighbors, really we hole up in the big scary world all by ourselves and ignore everyone else.
Maybe I am way off base but that is my opinion maybe right maybe wrong. What was it like 20 yrs ago where you lived and what is it like now?
real | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:19:16 AM | I totally disagree with this being the 'younger generation'.
I have come across all walks of life, and in fact find the older generation to be blatant, and in a lot of cases rude and arrogant.
EVERYBODY is different. Recently I was discussing or at least trying to discuss a funeral plan for myself. One son (20) agreed it was a good idea, seeing the logic, the other son (22) didn't want to discuss it cause he didn't want to think about the fact that one day I will be gone. Two son's, same parents, but different views.
Some youths can accept reality, and some refuse to accept reality, but the bottom line is reality IS there, and how they handle it is a reflection on their persona. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:38:25 AM |
This is complete irrelevant to the subject, but I want the world to change. And to do that we must all want to change. You think if just one person wants everything to change it will? Not even 10,000 people can do anything about the gun control or anything evil in general.
Right - this is a good example of defeatest logic. You make a difference by voting, by contacting your governmental officials over matters of concern. You make a difference by not contributing to very low level crime.
Let use a simple but common example: public littering.
My friends who smoke think nothing of tossing their butts out the window or on the ground after smoking a cigarette in public (in parking lots, at the curb or even at the door before entering a store, mall or restaurant). They also have no compunction about tossing away cups, food wrappers or empty cigarette packs on the ground. I have pointed out to them that the state law has heavy fines for tossing a butt out the window (fire prevention) -- where they wouldn't toss a butts or garbage on their OWN PROPERTY. They also wouldn't like other people littering their property. Ditto with dogshit. They walk their dogs and think nothing of their dog taking a crap on the sidewalk or someone elses lawn, but complain bitterly when they have to remove dog crap from neighbors dogs on their lawn before cutting it.
They don't vote. They complain about how government is run, but they are apathetic voters. They don't like paying high health care insurance premiums, but they won't take care of their health - the are irresponsible about managing their health as well as being apathetic.
See, this is a big problem - the weighing of what is good for you vs the social and physical costs of your actions that must be borne by the public to compensate. This also feeds back on a spiraling need for tighter legal controls - a tough issue facing many nations at present. None of us like it when additional laws are put in place that further restricts our actions - but if those actions bear a heavy social burden, then you had better believe it - we will have more, not fewer laws, as a result of public apathy and a lack of social empathy.
The more people you have, and the more apathy - the more crime you have as well. Disaffected people will not try to prevent crime, so it fluorishes, because law enforcement has a response time window that is often longer than the time spent in committing the crime itself. Note that the motherlode of crimes committed each year are by repeat offenders - a relatively small number of individuals cost the tax payers an enormous amount of money every year in legal action and incarceration punishment.
If teachers are apathetic, then their students who aren't performing to standard find themselves lagging more and more over time in academic performance, because knowledge proficiency depends on accumulation of mastered skills and information retention. They often become adults who are unable to compete for better jobs - they may not even finish high school after failing and falling back one or more grades in school.
If parents are apathetic, then their children tend to be apathetic as well. Kids that live in homes with poorly defined rule sets and also lack the discipline and habits necessary for health and wellness. When these patterns are lax (kids go to bed late, eat what they want, when they want, and aren't held accountable for their actions), we get kids with poor cognitive function and excess aggression, that tend towards obesity, smoke and drink alchohol as adolescents, and are unable to take care of themselves responsibly as adults - because they lack the social conditioning and rigor of healthy habits.
When we have young adults who perceive themselves as central in their lives and fail to mature into altruistic adults in the twenties, we have failing marriages from a lack of trust, honor and respect for others as well as a notable lack of patience, empathy and adaptability in cohabitation with others. They tend toward minor anarchist thinking - in obeying traffic laws, in exercising their rights as citizens, in caring for themselves and their environment.
If our government officials and elected representatives become apathetic (lack social empathy), they are likely to pursue self-rewarding political activities that are generally recognized as not being made in the best interests of their constituency. They end up representing special interests and promoting legislation that does not befit the people they represent and society in general. And that results in additional public costs and a lack of accountability and responsibility within the government sector.
Yep, a lack of empathy tends to foster the development of general apathy and malaise.
Funny thing - folks tend to emulate their peers. If many feel apathetic and feel they lack the power to engender change..
Why, you find it becoming commonplace. Thems are "sheople". People who have bought a false line of logic and resign control over their lives to overs. This condition ultimately, is a very stressful - and can lead to low level depression and anxiety.
Does this sound familiar?  | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 9:36:44 AM | Oh comeon no one says you have to be emotional. Some people just are not. Is that a crime? No. Then why such a big deal?
Besides emotional people are the ones that make the most mistakes in life and regret it all the time. For example: Ask all those teenage single moms.
I'd say more the youth of today learns how to be less emotional, the better it is for everything.
*Less highscool and college drop outs.
*Less STDs infested teengers.
*Low rate of pregnancy among teens.
All these high school girsl think that by sleeping with someone without taking precautions, they are doing the "emotionally" right thing and that the guy will love and cherish them. But what happens instead? Look at the stats.
Also obesity will decrease because most fat people eat more when they feel emotionally deprived.
Lesser emotion = healthy lifestyle.
Using the head helps a lot, believe it or not. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:19:46 AM | Sounds like Vulcan DNA was infused into those kids
Some emotion and empathy is a good thing. I've noticed that the more emotional a person is, the more empathetic they are to other people. I know someone who is very icy and never expresses her feelings. She is one of the most hateful people I know, being bigoted against gays and Muslims. I, on the other hand, am an emotional being, and don't hate people for their culture or for inborn traits. I have empathy for those who are suffering and like to support charities whenever I can. I'd much rather be a heartfelt Klingon who relishes coming to the rescue of an orphaned kid (Next Gen episode with Mr. Worf, who adopted an orphaned boy into his family) than be an icy-cold Vulcan with no feelings.
Sorry about the Trek analogies but I could not resist!  | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:34:30 AM | Designingwoman, great post!
I agree that one must use a balance of emotion, empathy & common sense.
As someone had stated earlier: "Lack of emotion, the better"
This is a perfect example of the lack of common sense that seems to be out there today. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:53:30 AM | I do think that many young people these days, including my friends and myself, feel or have felt a certain kind of apathy. It's a defense mechanism, I think, against a profound and crippling sense of feeling useless. I felt discouraged so many times in highschool. I couldn't help but think that people would be happy if us kids just learned to take tests, got an equivalency rating, and went to work for an organization that produced the things kids are trained to consume. I think a lot of young people are disaffected today because they believe the adult world values them finally only as consumers, only for their willingness to take that job at McDonald's.
Many kids today are rebelling against the dismissal of their values, and strangely enough, adopting an attitude of indifference is one form of that.
Then you have the other extreme, where you feel as if the whole world depends on you but nothing you do changes anything. I can remember discussing current events in highschool--religious tensions, global poverty, the war on terror or the war on the environment--and asking, "So, what am I supposed to do? I'm not the kind of person who wants to march down the street or sit in trees or get arrested. I recycle, I vote, but it doesn't seem like anything I do helps. What good can I do?" It's a tough question to answer. I think young people can too easily be schooled that if they're not out on the front lines, at the barricades, putting themselves in the policeman's face, their lives are irrelevant. Not true, of course. But it takes determination to get past that idea.
We're trying to figure out what we want to mean, and some of us are trying to figure out how to live lives of resistance. I don't mean indulging in some kind of outlaw behavior, but rather being cautious about officious strangers who would recruit and monitor us. You can't blame us for being wary. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:14:59 PM | I do not think it is just the younger generation.
I feel a large part of humanity is too de-sensatized as far as tragedy, crime,
war, all of it.
We are too used to just accepting things the way they are.
Because it is out there all the time, people have learned the
ability to not let the horrible things happening in the world,
seep into their individual lives.
This is not a young person specific, phenomenum, it is a sad human condition.
I know alot of young people that are touched by tragedy, and I know some
of the older generation , that just shrug it off. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:34:03 PM | I don't think it's something specific to the younger generation. Almost everyone does this...and I think it's a common attitude especially in big cities.When a tragedy happens in little towns people usually feel more concerned and try to help.
But I do not think it's a sad condition...Just an unconscious way to protect ourselves from insanity.There will always be fights, murders, tragedies, violence, injustice...sure it's sad but it's human nature.Personnally I'm more concerned about the health of the planet and pollution than about humans hurting each other... | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:40:26 PM | Besides emotional people are the ones that make the most mistakes in life and regret it all the time. For example: Ask all those teenage single moms.
I think you need to re-evalute what you are saying!
I was a teenage mom,
ask me what I think!
I think that kids these days are being babysat by video games, tvs and peers.....there is no, if any, parental guidance as most parents are making the ALMIGHTY dollar and making a living in this OVERPRICED place we call LIFE!
My Mom was a working SINGLE parent! I took care of my baby brother and I met my guy when I was young, I had my kids young, but I put myself through school and I took my sons with me!
My 15 year old son was laughing cuz he is going into grade 10 this year and he remembers when he went to class with me years ago, in the same school!
Back to the subject, it is society today that we need to blame, the cost of living has raised and there are hardly any 2 parents families where the mother stays home and raises the children!
For you to blame teenage mothers is a farce, blame the government and the society!
Back in the day, people had respect and made do with what they had, crime was not that rampant and 2 parent homes were common............ask your grandparents!
We need to teach our children morals and love for one another! | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:57:09 PM | ^^^Why is it a farce?
Are you telling me that being a mother at 14 is a good thing?
Also, see....I'm afraid more for your case. Your mom as you say was a single parent, you then became a single parent. Now, what about your generations down the line. Stats say that in this case history repeats itself. I'm not humiliating single parents. Just those stupid ones that become emotional fools while still a teen and ruin their lives.
Healthy balance of emotion and common sense with intellect is good. Overly emotional people do nothing in life but throw pity parties. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:28:56 PM | In so many ways you are right, but i resent the blame on teen moms, My Mom chose to leave my dad, WHY, he was sick and mean and the worse person you could ever have around kids, I am so glad my mom saved us 2 younger ones!
I am happy I had my kids young! I am 32 now and my kids are awesome, they have respect and morals and they aren;t babysat by electronics, they are both in school and they love and respect their elders and anyone younger then they are!
I really think that it is up to ourselves and our parents to be teaching the little things like RESPECT and HONOR and LOVE for all human biengs and living things in general!
Maybe in your world, you see the negative side of things, but I try to see the positive as I cannot change MY circumstances, nor the past........... My kids dad was with me for a long time--------I wasn't a single parent, they have the same dad.............we did it together and we stayed together....i moved on to get a better life, I pay child support....he is still in the same town and has 3 other kids! No love lost---we have respect for each other!
so your theory is wrong on that aspect! | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:25:56 PM | | Here is a perfect example of a "Wanna-Be" Psychiatrist. Who are you to tell anyone what a lack of common sense is? You're absolutely no one to say that. You are just a spec in this world just like everyone else. This is exactly what I mean by one person trying to change something, in her case, prove some useless point. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:29:14 PM | The message right on top of this one is regarding this quote my THE RED QUEEN II
Designingwoman, great post!
I agree that one must use a balance of emotion, empathy & common sense.
As someone had stated earlier: "Lack of emotion, the better"
This is a perfect example of the lack of common sense that seems to be out there today.[/p] | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:41:16 PM | well, I have a theory....
Alot of families are double income families just trying to keep up appearances or to keep up with the "Jones' ". Some moved to the suburbs to have a lower mortgage but it increased their travel time, and decreased quality time with the family.
Alot of these kids were the first generation of "latch key kids" that came home to an empty house to fend for themselves, scrape together their own dinner and be entertained by the television until mommy and daddy came home.
When mom and dad came home they were too tired from the day or too busy getting ready for the next day to listen or pay attention to their kids, and any concerns the kids may have. If the kid throws a tantrum the parent - too tired to teach the kid anything else, gives in to the kids demands and gives them what they want - out of guilt or desperation for some peace and quiet. Kid is learning that he can get what they want by acting out, and usually does, but is never really 'cured' of what is really ailing him ( a lack of love, affection, guidance, support, understanding etc,etc.)
The kid was left to learn to deal with or cope in whatever way he could (constructive or destructive). The kids learn from their parent's actions that the only person you can count on is yourself and to hell with everyone else. No one cares anyway- so I should be out to get what I want. Meanwhile on the inside the kid is just feeling not worthy enough to get their parents love and attention.
The cycle spirals downward, the kids becomes more emotionally dettached, and people seem as two dimensional as the characters on the state-of-the-art tv giving of a warm loving(?) glow in the family room. Love is what they give you, not that they spend time with you. Friends become more important because they have the time to spend time with you but are usually in the same boat.
Parent wonder what went wrong when their kid runs around with the wrong crowd- (this crowd that is giving them more time and attention than the parents ever did).
I could go on but I think you get the gist.
(Mind you there are some parents who still made time for their kids- and I am not saying that all kids in this younger generation are like this- I have seem some exceptions)
I have noticed that kids are a lot ANGRIER and Violent and RUTHLESS than in generations past. The have a sense of entitlement arrogance and lack of respect for anyone else.
They don't seem to deal with disappointment and HAVE to HAVE what they want. Instead of rolling with the punches- they just PUNCH OUT. Personally I think the violence is just an older version of a tantrum.
Workin in the customer service industry- I have seen younger adults throw a 'grown up tantrum'. No one knows how to negotiate or compromise or sacrifice for that matter.
Very few people have coping skills to deal with what life throws at you, or ways to deal with stress.
I have to wonder if the shooter at the West Virginia campus had been taught to cope with disappointments and to respect others- would he have done what he did- or is it possible he could have found a different outlet for his frustration - INSTEAD of letting the anger and delusions build up inside him until he exploded in rage?
Are we leaving kids without the guidance to cope in a healthy way- could this be changed with classes in school at each level showing them different ways to manage stress and disappointment?
But them again- the school systems are already stressed to the max- in reality- isn't it up to the parents to prepare their children for adapting and coping in life???
Comes full circle- doesn't it?
just one way to look at it- ... God I hope I am wrong. sorry for the rant
Q
 i need a hug | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:38:42 PM | | sometimes people have different ways of dealing with emotional stress. Kids and teenagers especially do not realize the impact of such awful events until they are directly involved. | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/25/2007 12:36:13 AM | A lot of the examples people seem to be giving are not examples of lack of emotion but an excess of anger and whom it is directed at, the wrong person(bus driver, etc.). There is also the feeling of entitlement from some people.
When there is an incident at a school or place of business, such as VT, the first thing that is done is to bring in 'grief counselors' Sorry, but here we are again, mollycoddling our kids. BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN THE WORLD! GET USED TO IT!
I had a teacher once tell me that she felt we were raising a generation of people who cannot handle the down side of life!
Everyone has to succeed.
We can't fail someone at school because the didn't make the grade. You can't read? It's the teacher's fault, not the student's. Did the parents ever try to help them?
You participate in sports day, you get a ribbon, just like the ones who won. Not fair to the ones who worked their butts off to finish first.
If you child falls, you run over and pick him/her up and make sure they are ok. If they are fine then let them get up on their own.
They fell on their butt? They do it enough, and they'll know that you don't fall on it and be more careful.
My parents used to look at me when I hurt myself. They said, "Is it gushing blood? Is it still attached? You'll be ok."
Those who don't agree with me can now attack! LOL | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:24:57 AM | "Here is a perfect example of a "Wanna-Be" Psychiatrist. Who are you to tell anyone what a lack of common sense is? You're absolutely no one to say that. You are just a spec in this world just like everyone else. This is exactly what I mean by one person trying to change something, in her case, prove some useless point".
The above qoute is a perfect example of the name-calling & immaturity (EG: Wanna be psychiatrist, "spec") when someone gives a different point of view that challanges thought and discussion.
Aww, Poor Baby! Did someone hurt your feelings because "The World is so unfair" and everyone doesn't agree with you?  | |
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| Younger people and lack of emotion
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:42:14 AM |
ThiSome Examples:
1. 35 year man shot in the head as he sat in his truck on a residential street. Charged are a fifteen year old boy and an eighteen year old boy.
2. 32 year old man died in hospital from his injuries. As this man was getting off the Transit Bus on his return home from work, He was attacked, severly beaten and robbed by four boys (Aged 16-20) .
3. A 16 year old high school boy was charged with assault on a female bus driver. When the driver asked for his school I.D for the reduced fare, the boy shoved his wallet into her face.
4. Five teen girls (aged 12-14) are currently being sought as they were responsible for attacking, beating & robbery attempt on a 23 year old woman as she waited for the bus.
It seems that not only is there a lack of emotion & empathy occuring in some (SOME-NOT ALL!) young people these days but also seems to be an increase of violent behaviour.
I think the fact that kids don't get punished and get away with it is part of the problem. They just get a slap on the wrist and a "don't do it again". | |
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