| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/25/2005 2:53:56 PM | I have a "friend" that comes over to my house every now and then and he will sleep in the same bed as me but, doesn't try anything. We have talked about how much we want to be with someone that will spend the rest of their lives with us but, he says that we can really never be anything other than friends. I don't know why he says this. He's not gay or even bi-sexual. He has kissed me a couple of times but, still insists that we just be friends. He even tells me that I will make a wonderful wife someday and that I have a big heart. He just tells me that it will never be with him b/c he don't want anykind of relationship right now and probably not ever. I told him that I would wait as long as it takes for him to come around but, I just want someone else's opinion on this.
Lodainer | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/25/2005 3:09:09 PM | Look, He has a friendly love for you. He wants to meet a woman that he can feel sexual
arousal with. If you want this guy, you must be bold and reach into his pants when he is lying there. Do you get that? You must be prepared to go all of the way all at once to imprint sexual arousal onto his brain. You must study lovemaking techniques before you begin, and do it all. trust me. If a man loves you, sleeps beside you, talks about loveing someone with you, but doesn't make the first move, it is because he lacks confidence and a strong sexual
imprint of you. You must create that imprint or forever be nothing more than second or third in line. Guys-can you back me up? am I right?
tjstaar1 | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/25/2005 4:11:32 PM | | Thats a tricky situation for you to deal with. From a male(and my)perspective friends last for life but lovers sometimes come and go. I would take comfort from the fact that he values you so much as a friend and maybe just maybe wants to cross that freshhold but has the fear of losing you if he does express himself. Your friendship sounds dear and you obviously care about him. There is no easy answer,if he never comes to you take pride in the fact that he loves you so much. | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/26/2005 1:28:59 AM | I would be cautious taking the advice to just reach into his pants. There is the distinct possibility that he really has no romantic/sexual feelings for you and might be really offended. Maybe he shares the bed with you because it's a comfort thing. I sleep in a good friend's bed while she is in it whenever I spend the night at her house, it's very comfortable, however I have no sexual urges towards her whatsoever.
Really think about it before acting. | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/27/2005 2:53:10 AM | It sounds like you are in love with this man, and are waiting for him to fall in love with you.
(ie."...wait for as long as it takes for him come around").
It sounds like he is lonely and using you until he finds the woman he wants to fall in love with.
If you allow this to continue, you may feel unhappy, unfulfilled, and worse, unworthy (asking yourself, why doesn't he want me, what is wrong with me?).
It's easy to tell you to just give up, but you won't (most women don't). You will eventually just tire of being the 'comfort' for this boy, or he will break your heart when he meets 'the one'.
Sorry to sound so negative....maybe it will all work out and he will fall in love with you... | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/27/2005 1:45:38 PM | I think that it is kinda funny the way he does me. I don't think he will ever "come around" but, hey at least he is a warm body to snuggle with for now. I told him that if he don't think that he will EVER want to be with me in any way other than friends to just leave and never come back. He told me that he feels safe when he is with me and feels like he has someone to come to when he is lonely. He is trying to get a job driving a truck and will be gone for weeks at a time and asked if I would keep his valuebles (however u spell it). I told him that I would b/c I can't just say no to him and make him loose his stuff. He told me that he knew that they would be safe with me and that he knows he can always come back for them. He keeps telling me that he wants to take me out to eat and to go dancing but, he always falls through on it. I don't know what is going on in his head right now but, I just know that I am not going to wait until I am 40 to be with him.I do appriciate what all of you have said and I am willing to take more advice.....LOL
lodainer | |
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foggyb
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Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/28/2005 11:19:28 AM | Perhaps you should keep looking for that special someone. It sounds like he really does want to be just friends (the bed thing sounds a bit unusual though) and he's simply not attracted to you physically. That does happen and it's not a bad thing. There IS someone out there for you and you're on the right road by searching for people with whom you are compatible.
Any POF members in Texas want to say Hi to travelgirl and rock her world? | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/28/2005 12:04:58 PM | well you see the things with men and sex is that men dont put sex and love in the same catagory....and men can also be extremely attracted to friends....but at the same time because they are friends,and because they know eachother so well,the guy probebly knows already whether or not they would work out in a relationship.....so why bother trying for mor if there isnt anything there to work with. but at they same time they are still very close,and that can throw a guy into a comfort zone where hes willing to express his sexual feelings if they are returned........ now this is very much taking advantage of your friend if you dont tell them exactly how u feel about not wanting to be more then friends......so it all really depends on the guy,and the girl,and how they handle the situation......because though evil at points,friends with benifits definatly can have its benefits.
Now i myself admire your friend there because he is definatly in that comfort zone,but doesnt want to express those feelings because he cares about you way too much to take advantage.
and he knows that you have those feelings that would be crushed if you too did become "closer" friends and no more then that. so its possible he might come around,and its possible that you two could be very happy together....but he has doubt about that idea.....so more likly he knows that he would end up hurting you,and your friendship will take a beating and possibly die,and thats not a risk he wants to take....ESPECIALLY if hes not ready for a relationship.....but he also may just be saying that because its the easy answer he can give that wont make u think that he doesnt like you at all....once again he does but he cant express it.......and if he finds someone else he can express himself to, i hope u dont take that the wrong way... | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/28/2005 11:15:23 PM | GOD!!!! thats sooooo pathetic hunny, your an attractive person and I'd hate to tell you this cause your gunna hate me but .............HE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!.....period. thats it, now take what I've said and ask yourself this simple question, "why do you wanna waste your pretty, your time and your energy on someone who is just not that into you that anyway?" it's soooooo simple because men are simple ie: if a man is eatting he's thinking about his food, if a man is thinking about sex then hes JUST thinking about sex there's no grey area with men. If a guy truly wants too be with you, hunny you will know it. He willl do anything to hear your voice, too see you, to touch you, too smell you. GO out there and actually find a man that can't resist you when your in bed together plus the joys of having him around instead of the freak you let sleep beside you!
GOOD LUCK
Candy | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/30/2005 12:02:17 PM | My best friend (he's a guy) and I have slept in the same bed and never done anything. We are not sexually attracted to each other but have a wicked friendship. We both analize each others dates and he always tells me when I'm doing something stupid.
I know that I'm not in the same situation but when I first met him I wanted to date him, but after a while I let it go because I knew that wasn't what he wanted. And now we are the best of friends and talk to each other about everything. | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/30/2005 1:06:35 PM | awwww...thanks guys... I just know that I would love to be with him other than just friends but, I know that it will never happen.... lonelostsoul.... I think u have it right... I just need someone to let me know that he is not for me and they are... I know that he needs a friend more than anything right now b/c his mom died before the holidays and now mother's day is coming up... I just hope that I can help him through this tough time. He asked me the other day when mother's day is and told me that some of his other friends are really worried about him b/c they think that he may try to do something like suicide... he told me that if he can make it through christmas w/out her he can make it through mother's day... he and his mom were really close... momma's boy...I think that is why he likes to come to me and my family for support b/c we are very caring people and don't like to see others hurting.... who knows, maybe someday he will tell me that he wants to be with me and maybe someday he won't ....
thanks again guys.....
lodainer | |
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| What is with men that say they want to be just friends but, will still sleep in the same bed as you?
Posted: 4/30/2005 3:30:07 PM | well, in my opinion...i'd say, he's just not attracted to you, but you two relate so very well to each other.i had one of those too.matter of fact, put me on the highest level that he possibly could...loved everything about me, then one New Year's night, we went to a hotel, had a couple of drinks...and when i woke up, he was laying on the other side of the bed...he had not touched me at all....turns out....he thought better of me...my friend was just a playboy...and his plans were not to play me, out of respect.i admire that...and that's what made me believe that i WAS special to him.to this day, and what happened between us was 4 yrs. ago, he's treated me with nothing more than respect. | |
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