| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:01:34 PM | I was working in this bar once, a couple of years ago. A co-worker had some customers, one of which was clearly pregnant. The pregnant woman asked for an alcoholic beverage, and the waitress refused. It turned into a huge thing. To make a long story short, the waitress almost lost her job because of it. We were told that we had no right to make that decision for the woman, that if she chose to drink it was her right. Luckily this had never happened to me, but I would have risked my job if it had come up. I would definately refuse to serve alcohol to a woman carrying a baby. It is absolutely wrong.
what are everybody else's thoughts? Should there be a law to protect the unborn child? | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:07:48 PM | | What was she trying to order? Shots of tequila? A glass of wine? Lots of doctors say it's ok to have a glass of wine in the 3rd tri. In fact, I think I've even heard as early as the 2nd tri. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:10:06 PM | | If you don't serve her, she will just go to the next bar or the liquor store. This woman clearly doesn't love her unborn child, her gift from God. Poor baby. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:11:23 PM | i can't remember for sure, but I think it was a caeser.
But there is no safe time to drink while pregnant. I've heard when you breastfeed, you can slip one in once in a while, but surely not while pregnant. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:17:29 PM | It is not a waitresses decision ( nor religious fanatatics) to pass moral judgement on anyone else.
I agree with PWG. Until they make it illegal to consume ANY alcohol while pregnant the waitress was required to serve her.
You may not like it, but as far as the law goes it is legal to order a drink in a bar while pregnant and consume it.
I am not saying it is right or wrong but looking at this on its face the waitress should definately have been fired. If she cannot perform her job because of moral confluict she should not have that job. That is exactly the same principle as not serving a man because he is black. It was not her decision to make.
If you are willing to lose your job because you are not PERFORMING the duties of you job, that is your problem.
A glass of wine in your 36th week bears no ill health to the baby, but getting trashed on tequila in your 5th week certainly will. She does not love her baby if she has a glass of wine? Come on.
Let's leave anyone's god out of it and discuss real people. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:26:50 PM | if there would be a law against serving pregnant women alcoholic drinks, then that mean there should be a law against people with healty problem. Specialy the ones were alcohol is a major problem to there health.
Some people just don't care what they do weather it can harm them self or there unborn child!.
Having ONE drink while pregnant will not harm the child. As long as it's not a habit.
And Having ONE drink does NOT mean you don't care about your un-born child either/ | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:27:28 PM | I agree with PWG and lyrical on this one, even though you may think it is wrong, it is her choice, maybe not a good choice but still it is your job to serve it until there is a law against it.
But there is no safe time to drink while pregnant.
If you are having a glass of wine every once in a while well pregnant at any stage of pregnancy, this is ok as it will help your blood flow to the baby. I was advised by my dr (who is one of the top 5 pregnancy dr's in canada) to have a glass of wine at least every 2 weeks of my pregnancy as there was a slow blood flow to my daughter earlie on in my pregnancy and after doing this it helped. I am not saying have 5-6-10 glasses of wine and get drunk but I mean one glass every once in a while.
As for it being ok to have a drink or 2 well breast feeding no you have that wrong because then it goes to the child. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:33:38 PM | If they make a law about drinking while pregnant, there should also be a law against giving your child junk food and making them fat (the govenment dictating what you can eat). There should be a law mandating onestyle of parenting so that every child grows up the same way (the government dictating how we raise our kids).
We live in a society based on free will and have the ability to make decisions without government interference. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:49:27 PM | I think if this bothers a waitress, she might need to find a different job.
It's no ones business if a pregenant woman wishes to have a drink now and then, or GASP, even smoke a cigarette.
What's next, are you going to refuse to serve her fatty foods, or a regular coke because of too much sugar?
Yes, it's unfortunate that some people are perhaps irresponsible. But if you really want to save kids from harm, there's a whole load of them all over the world that could use some food ya know. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:52:20 PM |
This woman clearly doesn't love her unborn child, her gift from God
It's amaizing how god groupies know someone so very well, who has only been described once in a few words. Come on, let's here more about this floosie, who probably got pregenant by Satanic midgets during a black mass orgie.
Hey, how about going back to your book of lies, and re-reading that line about "Tho shall not judge.?"
"Clearly doesn't love her unborn child" Jesus, please save us from your followers!! | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:53:24 PM | I have to disagree with you when you say it is no different that choosing not to serve a black man. The difference is that serving a pregnant woman is potentially harming another life, one who doesn't have a voice. It absolutely is the woman's choice to drink, I just think, why not put the bottle away for 9 months? How can a woman be willing to risk her child's health for a drink? One drink can cause FAS. I just don't understand why anybody would drink while pregnant.
I know it is dangerous to put moral beliefs in the way of a job sometimes. But I think this one is worth it. If it came down to it, I still think I would lose my job to do my part in saving a child. Its easy to find another job, but you can't undo fetal alcohol syndrome.
I know it isn't my choice to stop a woman from drinking.. I know I didn't even think of drinking with my pregnancies. And nothing anybody says can stop a woman from doing it. But I will always at least do what I can. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:59:18 PM | | ok let me ask you something? What does it take for you to cut someone off of drinking? and I am not talking pregnant people, I am just talking people in general. Let's start there and then I will explaine why | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:01:25 PM | I remember when I was pregnant and went to the bar...I ordered a virgin singapore sling. Your co-worker could have given her the drink of her choice but in the process made it a virgin....in the end, she really wouldn't have gotten in too much trouble because she could say that she assumed that the pregnant lady wanted it to be non-alcoholic because she was pregnant.....??????
Just my $0.02 | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:03:18 PM | this also mean stop selling pregnant pregnant women cigarrettes, junk food, ...
Heck why not put all pregnant women somewhere where they can be watch over the hole nine months.
But i think your over reacting a bit | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:22:16 PM |
It absolutely is the woman's choice to drink, I just think, why not put the bottle away for 9 months? How can a woman be willing to risk her child's health for a drink? One drink can cause FAS. I just don't understand why anybody would drink while pregnant.
then be sure to follow this when you get pregnant..and allow others to make thier own cdhoices...ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:31:38 PM | Thank god it is illegal to serve alkie moms around here. The OP wouldn't have had a friend catch hell for it. Sure people still do and, sometimes if it is a small amount like a glass of wine who am I to judge. But if the woman is grabbing pitchers if the servers don't say something I will.
I agree with PWG and lyrical on this one, even though you may think it is wrong, it is her choice, maybe not a good choice but still it is your job to serve it until there is a law against it.
^^^^ More of that "my body my choice bullshit". And she has the choice to have aguy on the hook for a child sufferring from fetal alcohol syndrome and all the heartache that goes along with that? Bull it takes two to make it and decisions that affect health and mental ability this much need to be discussed by both parents. And if you thin my tax dollars are set aside to care for a kid that otherwise would have been fine if not for mom's penchant for boozing it up, think again. Mothers of fetal alcohol children should be if not forcibly sterilized atleast charged with criminal neglect. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:32:14 PM |
If you don't serve her, she will just go to the next bar or the liquor store. This woman clearly doesn't love her unborn child, her gift from God. Poor baby
That's a bit harsh, and very judgemental, I had the odd drink when I was expecting, what did that mean I didn't love my baby, considering I have four children who all very healthy, how does odd drink hurt, from your statment, it must mean I didn't love any of my my unborn babies, very harsh statement and extremly judgmental. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:38:41 PM | This is a hard one, on one hand I agree that pregnant women should not drink habitually or in excess. It is hard to say what this lady was going through at the time? Was she already clearly drunk? If you have ever been pregnant and been craving something? It is a really hard urge to resist, at least in my experience.
That being said I am pregnant and had the strongest craving for one of my favorite drinks Southern Comfort & OJ. At frist I just suffered through it since I knew this was the point the baby brain was developing (while longingly staring at it when I opened the fridge). But once I reached my second trimester I did have a 1/2 oz in a very large cup, since then no cravings.
Does that make me a bad person? I like to think not, if I was out every darn weekend getting trashed? I would agree with you. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:40:32 PM | my mom was told to have a beer a day when she was in her last month pregnant with me...i bounced around too much that my mom was in pain and couldn't sleep. it calms down the body.
however, i do not agree with drinking like you did before you were pregnant - while you ARE pregnant.....wrong on so many levels..... | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:44:17 PM | Too clarify ^^^ tyhe above mom's. While I prefer a zero alcohol during pregancy thing and swore it off myself as a show of support during my exes pregnancy (she did drink while pregnant but not enough to harm the child). In cases like this I cannot judge another, I may not like it, but withing reason it is not my place to say.
But seriously am I the only person that thinks mom's of fetal alcohol children should be criminally charged? That is an obvious case of "excess", if she wanted to drink that badly she could have had an abortion with or without the fathers knowledge. This is when it becomes a burden on society and an unafir start for the child, which was easily prevented. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:52:16 PM | Funny that all of our great grandparents and older were not all braindamaged or lived forever with FAS. Not too long ago most water was unsafe to drink and beer or mead and even wine was all that some expecting mothers did drink, and the human race managed to survive...
My sister was ordered to drink about 2 oz of port every second day, due to iron deficiency and her inability to take iron supplements for various reasons. Dark beer and port are known to increase iron in the blood stream, and improve blood flow. Her kid is advanced for his age mentally and physically, and is incredibly healthy. She never got drunk while pregnant, but did have a spot of watered down port or dark beer every second day, lots of red meats, and barely.
If you don't serve her, she will just go to the next bar or the liquor store. This woman clearly doesn't love her unborn child, her gift from God. Poor baby
So she could have not done what was necessary to improve her iron to suit your morals, and have a weaker child... that would be not loving her unborn child. Dark beer, wine and port are known to aid a pregnancy, if taken in moderation. That being a minimal amount, like half of a beer, or a drop of wine or port. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:07:18 PM | | I'm just sayin'......if I was pregnant I wouldn't be out in the bars drinking. Not only is she drinking, she's probably also in a smokey environment. I think for nine months I could give up any bad habit for the safety of my baby. I know there are no guarantees of healthy babies, but I would do everything in my power to ensure it's health. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:42:12 PM | Dunno what your health advice is over there but here's our most up to date one.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/womenfamily.html?in_article_id=443086&in_page_id=1799&in_page_id=1799&expand=true
It was only 3 years before though that the whole 4 units thing stood, although any woman who drinks that much during pregnancy, maybe not so much doesnt care, as really has to think hard about what she is doing, 4 units is a lot of drink to be honest, especially if your not out at parties every week, but then again, maybe its not, I know a lot of women like a glass of wine at the end of the day.......each to their own I guess.
However its totally NOT a waitresses decision to refuse, if she was under 21 (18 in the UK) then yeah she had the right to refuse, or if she was already drunk (maybe not in the States though) ok ok, easier, our licensing laws allow us to refuse, underage drinkers, those under the influence of alcohol or drugs, known prostitutes (a bit obscure, cos how can you tell who is a hooker and who isn't, unless she comes in under a neon sign) and uniformed police......there are possibly more but I dont remember them now, but to refuse a pregnant woman, yup your boss was right to almost sack her, there could have been all sorts of repercussions for the business from that. Its infringing a persons right to choose for themselves, if your friend didnt like it, she should have gotten someone else to serve the table, you cant judge someone you dont know pregnant or not.
I drank to excess however with both my pregnancies in the 1st 4 weeks (both were unplanned therefore I didnt know till the 11th week with my 1st and 5th with my 2nd) LUCKILY I didnt do damage, but there are millions who do, I dont advocate drinking while pregnant, but again, they cant make it illegal..........how would they police it ? put cops on the tail of every expectant mother so they knew if she was drinking ? its not do-able, its got to be down to how the person themselves feels about doing it, some will some wont, but outsiders have no right to stop them. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:50:07 PM | gentlepatrick , i have been pregnant. I have 3 healthy children. As somebody who has been pregnant, and followed this, i dont see why it is so hard to put the bottle away. I like having drinks, don't get me wrong. I was happy to have a beer after my babies were born. BUT NOT WHILE I WAS PREGNANT
I have seen the effects of FAS and other things caused by pregnant women drinking, and wonder why nobody learns from these types of things.
It guess this is different from area to area. But around here, it is totally frowned upon to drink while with child.
I agree with the guy who thinks mothers of FAS kids should be prosecuted.
I know that people are entitled to make their own choices, and ultimately will. I know I choose not to give a pregnant woman alcohol if i were in that situation.
i guess its just me | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:54:09 PM |
I'm just sayin'......if I was pregnant I wouldn't be out in the bars drinking. Not only is she drinking, she's probably also in a smokey environment. I think for nine months I could give up any bad habit for the safety of my baby. I know there are no guarantees of healthy babies, but I would do everything in my power to ensure it's health
That's fair enough each to their own, but it's the same as saying everytime you step out the house you take a risk, you could get hit by a car, your life doesn't stop just because your pregnet, everything you do has an elment of risk, it's called life, why stop living for 40 weeks, you may as wll stay in the house if you want to do everything you can to protect an unborn child, you go out you breath poultion, car fumes, factory fumes, you breath it the baby gets it. | |
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