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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?      Home login  
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 matthilde888
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 1
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only? Page 1 of 1    
My mother drives me crazy....even now I am seething ......its probably deeply Freudian because I wanted to marry my father or something ..or maybe its because everything I have ever done was the wrong and the way I live my life is totally wrong although my childhood wasnt exactly the Waltons and my teen years were like walking on eggshells. There must be more to life than having your hair cut and wearing full make-up . I feel like I have been railroaded into some much stuff then left high and dry because the support I was assured I would have either didnt materialise or was so laiden with guilt it was miserable.

Before Christmas there was a family fall out over my daughter having her haircut into a bob...I am not a young Mum but I feel like I am seventeen and tying to fight my corner all over again.

Anyway enough wallowing ....is this something that happens only between mothers and daughters or do sons go through it too?
 sprite57
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 2
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:37:10 PM
I think its fairly normal for your mother to get on your nerves. I love my mum but sometimes after being with her for a while I just have to get away!!! However my daughter says that I dont get on her nerves very often which I'm pleased about, whether that will change as I get older and more grouchy I dont know!

Some people are so close to their mum that they're more like a best friend. That must be nice.
 annearies
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 3
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:43:16 PM
If my Mother reads this, I'll be Dead by next week .................lol

I HATE my Mother.
Never liked her, never been close to her.
I envy any woman who has a Mother they feel love for.
Isnt that an awful thing to say ??
Ohhhh well.......at least Im honest..........lol
 *FoxyMoron*
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 4
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:54:35 PM
^^^^^^^^^^ I really feel for you annearies

I disliked my mum for many years and she disliked me, until i saw her go through and subsequently die of breast cancer. It really breaks my heart when people say that they hate their mothers, i said that a few times about mine and would chop off my right leg just to get her back for a few minutes to tell her how much i loved and still love her. We only bonded when she got ill and i realised just how fvcking amazing she was, i told her every day from that day forward that i loved her

You may be envious of people who have love for their mothers, but i am envious of those who still have them around, when both people cant just say enough is enough and agree to disagree, learn how to love each other again and just realise that a mother daughter relationship happens once for us all
 Chatzie
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 5
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:01:07 PM
Id love to have my mother back for a few minutes...

I loved my mum unconditionally and though we were never lovey dovey, and cuddly i knew she loved and cared for me.

That sayin " You dont know what you've got till its gone" applies so so much

I also feel envious of people who have their mum and dont have any love there.
As Angel says that mother daughter relationship happens once, and when its gone you cant bring it back.

Forigive and forget and embrace how lucky you really are.
x
 matthilde888
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 6
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:04:10 PM
I love my Mother...but she makes me so miserable. I really feel sometimes that she must hate me...she certainly doesnt know me and she always thinks the worst of me. She has said terrible things to me but never apologised and I take it- hardly ever answering back. Every six months her and my Dad reduce me to a gibbering wreck over something stupid. She criticises the way i look my hair my home my garden and I never say anything unkind about her or to her. I could totally crush her but dont. They are the only people who make me cry.
 Lirael170
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 7
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:04:45 PM
Love my mum to bits but she is getting more mumsie as she gets older and she does do my head in in long doses :)

She's always there for me and don't know what I'd do without her :) need to make more of an effort to go home. My parents weren't perfect, what parents are, but I've definitely been lucky and felt loved all my life :)

Appreciate her a lot more since my dad went years ago.. was a bit of a daddy's girla s a child
 -LIL-
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 8
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:09:24 PM
OP I really relate

My mum is prob the only person that can reduce me to tears...simply from frustration... ...she tries to smother, sublimely control, manipulate...then plays the "martyr" sulking, blaming...FFS!!!

I do adore here...but no one is such a vexation to my spirit!!!

So it's not just you...I have to take St. johns Wort rescue remedy to stop me getting a blinding stress headache when she's around. try it

I have to say though...this is not normal:

Before Christmas there was a family fall out over my daughter having her haircut into a bob...


I'm a reading this wrong?!
 mr and mrs magoo
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 9
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:17:09 PM
my mom was my world. she was my best friend . i love her dearly. she went into hospital last year to have a knee re-placement and caught MRSA.. after a month on life support she came round and said her goodbyes to her 6 children 20 grandchildren and 12 great grand children.. she died that night.. the world is very lonely place when your mother is not in it. your dad becomes the child and you the adult. we have a real close family and mom was the glue... it shook our world.. 12 months later and we are all still numb..

i cant imagine your situation huni.. not having a mom that dont support you.. maybe it was her upbringing that makes her afraid of showing the emotion and love that you crave.. if this is the case then teach her .. its never too late to try.. but it is too late if you wait til shes gone. then you will want her to be there,even if its just to tell you to cut the lawn...
 Jules1970X
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 10
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:24:13 PM
Storm I feel for ya hun, I too lost my mum last year. She caught everything possible!!!was In a coma Life support etc etc...From April
Was due to come home Aug and I had a call to say come in immediately....They told me she had 7 days left(cancer) and I looked and said nope she will be going today...Awful...
She was my best friend...I cant say its always been like that but since I had my first daughter we got along better and better as time went on...
I miss her but I dont tend to get upset anymore...I think it gets better as time goes on...
I cant change things and I have a life....and she wouldnt want me moping about...
 kylieskool
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 11
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:31:26 PM
i understand what you are saying that your mum can drive you nuts.i see my mum everyday scence my dad died 12 weeks ago and its getting to me now.my mum lives in a small village in the middle of no where ,which is 15 miles away and she works in the town i live in twice a week,so im having to pick her up and bring her here,do her shopping,garden etc,i feel as if my life ended when my dad died.shes only 52 .ive talked to her about this,and she just shouts saying im being selfish.but she doesnt understand........i need a lif to.she wont help herself by taking driving lessons either.urrrrrgggggggggggggggg
so yes i know what you mean
 ghosthunter56
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 12
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:41:55 PM
is this a daughter thing only ?? far from it !! - my mother drives me nuts too - stubborn as hell - still soooooooo independent at 80 something ( most impolite to discuss a ladies age ) and feisty with it - she would still give me a clip round the ear if she could find the steps quick enough - bless her

regardless of our age - we are still all their kids - and in their eyes will never grow up

well that's my theory any way

regards to all
 Punkinpie74
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:42:18 PM
I'm close to my mum, and speak to her everyday, but that doesn't mean I am blind to her faults, and she can at times drive me nuts, she can be extremly critical, and like you that has been through my whole childhood to adulthood, nothing I do is right, and my sister can do no wrong, but i've learnt to take it with a pinch of salt over the years, she is who she is, I tend not to argue back because I have learnt there is no point, as she will come up with the whole guilt trip, and she is very good at that, so I just say yes mum, it maybe the cowards way out, but it leads for a peaceful life, then do something completly different, she knows this, but it makes her feel better for some biszar reason.
 goldensemble
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 14
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My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:35:32 PM
I'm just grateful my mother gave me life.
 Ladyjaxx007
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 15
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:13:16 PM
No - it's not just a daughter thing. Both me and one of my brothers used to regularly whinge about annoying things my Mum did or said. It's all changed now tho, as she is totally immobile, and she rarely complains about anything, so we all just love to do what we can for her.

I know I drive my daughter nuts at times - mainly cos I only see her on the odd weekend, and when I do, I can't stop talking. She has to tell me to stop getting so excited and to calm down a bit !!
 *~*Posh*~*
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 16
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 5:04:23 PM
I think it's a 2 way street, our mothers drive us mad.... we drive our daughters mad, and our daughters drive us mad ..think its a women thing
 pink_bunny_1
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 17
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My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/24/2007 5:26:32 PM
Crikey hope sammi - jay dont see this Thread . cos i know i truly drive her nuts
 miss_maggy
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 18
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/25/2007 3:40:19 PM
I didnt have a good relationship with my mother as i grew up.. the bond was severed when i was farmed out as a baby, I had to adjust to a different life when i was 5, ( as that was when i lost the mother that nurtured me). So my real mother was aunt May for many yrs.
The relationship got better when i was nurturing my own children. As a mature adult, i now see the hardships my own mother endured. She was orphaned at 13, had a bad marriage, lost a 2yr old in a road accident. And many many battles through her hard life. Looking back, in my teen yrs, she was in the menopause. ( an explosive combination.) I was 40 when she died, and miss her so much.
I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter, more so now that she is a mother.
It is'nt easy to offer advice to anyone.
But i would suggest you try to get to know your mother, spend some quality time, go on holiday.. a different environment together may help. Give her attention, affection, she may be unhappy about her own life, bitter maybe.
But if all else fails, let her know you love her but are upset by her behaviour towards you. Sometimes you just have to keep your distance to keep your sanity.
But dont give up. You really do only have one mother.
 sammi_jay
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 19
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/26/2007 9:56:08 AM
My mother does my chuffing nut in! She is the one person who can REALLY stress me out & wind me up and she dont half get right on my tits......

BUT she is MY mum, and I would fight tooth & nail for her, I'd die for her, she does so much for me and my daughter and I wont have a word said against her or about her (only i can do that )

We definately have a love/hate relationship and once we start arguing it seriously is like 'Clash of the Titans' coz we have EXACTLY the same temperament and neither of us will give in, my dad, boyfriend, uncle, brothers and all the neighbourhood children run for cover when they hear us start!!!

I would be lost with out her, she is my best friend 'nuff said!!

She gets on much better with my 2 brothers.....
 TAB007
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 20
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:05:56 AM
I just wish I had my mum around for her to drive me nuts!

We did n't have long together before she died, but I knew she loved me and I loved her.

Mums and daughters have a special bond and it changes with time, the roles change, the mindset changes, especially when the daughters become mums themselves.

Its very sad when mums and daughters don't get on, because mums are so very important to a child.

 Emmalou81
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:11:55 AM
My mum is da bomb !!

We've had our ups and downs, major fallout along the way to but i love her with all my heart.
She is always there for me as i am her, yes there are times when she does my nut in big time but i do the same to her. We laugh and joke like we are lil' kids and i wouldn't want it any otha way.
And i hope in years to come my 2 lil' girls are as close to me as i am my mum.
 fiestyfairy
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 22
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/26/2007 3:06:22 PM
My mum drives me nuts but I love her to bits, she knows just how to annoy me and make me swear , but she is sooo sweet. She makes me laugh when she gets her words mixed up , and she cheers me up when I am down, she pampers me when I am ill.
Mothers are there to drive ya nuts , I drive my daughters nuts as well.
 Sotongirl
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 23
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My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/26/2007 3:11:03 PM
Can fully understand that feeling, my mum relies on me totally for every little thing, phones me at stupid times to tell the most mundane of things. I know its because she is lonely but sometimes you just want a break, Understand the comment about feeling 17 again hun, i have to explain my every move and why i am not at the end of the phone constantly.

But i guess we love em anyway.
 matthilde888
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 24
My mother drives me nuts? Is this a daughter thing only?
Posted: 4/29/2007 2:07:43 PM
okay my thread continues because I have been disowned. Can the day get any worse? Maybe its for the best?
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