| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 9:53:48 AM | I would like to get a general concensus on a topic that has come up among the guys I work with and myself. The topic is... "Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
Please be honest and speak freely! (Well as freely as the Rules will allow) 
(I already know what I think... want input as to what all you POF-er's think on this subject). | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 9:56:57 AM | | I personally don't think so. I wouldn't sleep with someone I'm not emotionally attached to anyways, but all the research I've ever done on the subject of love and sex and how it works always brings up the chemicals involved, that are released during sex. Because of that, and just human nature, I don't think anything beyond short-term would work, one would eventually start to have feelings for the other. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:14:09 AM | I had a kissing friend for a short time, and it was just this natural occurance between the two of us. We would just hang out as friends, then go back to my place and kiss for hours. Neither of us wanted a relationship at the time. It didn't work out because our emotions, hers and mine, got in the middle of it. I find it very difficult to not get emotional about it. And that was just kissing.
For me, there is always emotion and feeling there. You can try to avoid the emotions and just focus on the physicality. It doesn't work. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:15:52 AM | long term fwb yes.... married.. no
I personally would only marry again if the right one came along... but I would get into only sexual relationships if the situation and person were right. I'd make sure as I do that she understands she is just a fwb and not my gf. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:17:16 AM | At the risk of not knowing how you are defining "long term"? This is my opinion.
IMHO, I believe you can have a sex partner (booty call, FWB, etc.....) w/o love (only LUST). However, it is a chance one takes unless you absolutely know that the person is not someone you would want to take home to meet "Mama". 
But one just never knows with affairs of the heart. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:28:14 AM |
"Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
Yes, I believe it's possible. Mind you, I don't think a pure lust scenario is likely to work out long term, but if there's a level of friendship and affection, even if there's no "love," sure it can. In other words, the emotions exist, but they're not the kind that will cause "issues." | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:07:51 AM | | I've had a number of FWB type relationships over the years. Most are pretty short term - several months to a year. I had one that lasted about 2 years and another that lasted about 3 years. Not sure if that's what you mean by long term. It's a tricky balance keeping the emotions at bay, but balance is the key. And it takes a lot of honesty and boundaries need to be established from the beginning. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:12:00 AM | This is a tough question, and different people will have different answers.
I "suppose" a long-term sexual relationship without an emotional link is possible, though I bet it would soon go cold.
For me, sexual intimacy is tied in with my emotions. I don't want to be intimate with a woman I don't care about. A large part of my own pleasure comes from seeing her reactions and her pleasure.
If I didn't care about pleasing her, then I'd be missing out on a lot of what I want from sexual intimacy. In such a case it would be easier to just rub one out on your own and be done with it.
on edit:
Dawn1114's answer above touches on caring & friendship in this situation. To me, caring & friendship gets into some emotional attachments, and so makes this situation at least viable in my opinion. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:23:17 AM | I can’t seem to do it.
After being married most of my life - I became unmarried 4 years ago and ........ here came all the sex just for the sake of sex.
I tried ... I tried to be a “now guy”
It don’t work for me - SOMEHOW my weinersnitzel knows the difference.
For some damn reason I just don’t like sex for just the sake of sex with some gal - that I could be any guy to.
I wan’t my sex buddy to have feelings for ME - not just some guy to have sex with.
The idea behind it sounds great ....... I tried ... one of the gals was GORGEOUS. She was 44 yo - 5’8” - 123 pounds - black hair big pretty blue eyes - nice hOOters ................. had sex with her twice ...... I really tried to “like it” but ..... we were not in any kind of real relationship - she liked me for sex but ...... she was not my gf .. I was not her bf ....... it just did not seem right to me.
I’ve had three other offers from nice looking gals - they all knew I did not sleep around - they all knew I was bug free. They viewed me as a good choice for a fOOk buddy. I just can’t do it.
I so miss sex but ... I want to have sex with someone that is special to me and I am special to her. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:28:03 AM | Long term....absolutely not is my opinion. One of these partners will most definitely develop an emotional attachment to the other. Sexual intimacy in my opinion is the closest way that two people can share each other, how could you not begin to feel for that person as you share bodies especially over an extended period of time?
I personally couldn't for I am an emotional/sensitive person to begin with....if others can than they are a totally different breed than myself, and I suspect many others as well. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:28:57 AM | yes, its totally possible...
i have done it before, with a friend of mines, and we to this day are still really cool with each other. we both always knew were we stood with each other, we both met up, had fun, hung out for a while, sometimes even had sleep overs, then we would bounce out.
its was great because i always had him around when i needed him and that realationship lasted over 5 years and I still hang out with him or call him or baby sit for him from time to time, we just dont have sex any more :(
i had another one though where we were more than just sleeping together, we were having a relationship without the relationship (he had a girl, i had a man), and it got really complicated and painful towards the end, but that is because things got fuzzy...
the main thing is, if you are going to do that, you need to be honest with yourself and others you deal with... in my first sitution we never had any secrects from each other or from other people... in the second, we had secrects and because of that, it entered into a different type of sexual thing...
but yes, it can be done and its really fun :)
~jo~ | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:42:01 AM |
at the risk of sounding stupid, what is an fwb?
Friends With Benefits
(Don't worry, it took me a moment to figure it out as well. )
Personally, I don't think that it's possible, since, in order for them to be a friend, there HAS to be some sort of bond there.
Knute | |
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