| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 4:51:20 PM | I wouldn't say that I've given up so to speak. I've just lost the drive. I don't really message anyone anymore and have hardly been around the site. I see cute girls and just glance at them. I almost don't care if I find anyone. I've been through phases like this before, and I'm only shaken out of it when I do meet someone with whom I feel there's a mutual attraction. Then I go through a time when I really want that person or want someone to replace her since I'm not sure if I'll get to be with her. Then after a while the fire in me just goes down, and I simply don't care. I don't know if I'm just depressed or what.
It's like an on again/off again sort of thing. I get girl crazy for a little while, and then nothing. I'm at a point where I like just being a homebody. My days off consist of me sleeping, reading, watching tv, listening to music, exercising, writing and just farting around the house or on the pc. I have no drive to go out and meet new people.
However I have made some new female friends on here and through other sites, and I seem content with that. I don't feel a desire at all to take any of these relationships further.
I am still getting over someone. Could that be it? Have I just not met the right person yet? Or am I just cool with being alone? I've always been sort of a lone wolf anyway. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 5:20:55 PM | | Yeah it's normal...I'm just not into it right now either...And I don't know why. do have some big decisions to make, careerwise, and I'm enjoying going to dogshows and not having the responsibilty of having to be there for someone is nice. On the flipside, you're kind of young and what are your ideas on having a family? if you don't want children and are pretty sure you won't change your mind on that, then do what you want to. But if you do want to settle down one day, you may want to think about dating at least in the near future, it takes about 3 years from first date to the wedding day, maybe longer, so that's something to think about.... | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 5:47:50 PM | I think it's very 'normal' to not feel like dating - for a number of reasons.
Personally, I find not dating simply easier. It's not that I don't want a relationship - I do. I'd happily take the good and the bad with the guy who is meant for me. In fact, I look forward to someday settling down with him - life becoming so routine that I can count on certain things and relax about others.
It's the trudging through the muck (if you will) that makes me so hesitant to "date". It's all that getting to know someone new... opening yourself up to the one(s) that seem to have potential... being let down... again... etc. All the work... you know...
Especially when you know what you want (and don't want). I find it frustratingly tiresome. So, not dating - simply easier.
It's not that I'm giving up...it's just that someone has to be pretty freakin' terrific to turn my head and I haven't seen much "terrific" in my neck of the woods. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 7:48:25 PM | | You answered your own question...you are still getting over someone. It seems to me that you just are not ready to date yet. Nothing wrong with that. Take your time. You will know when the time is right to move on. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:02:30 PM | Even if your heart is not wounded you may not feel like dating. We all go through those phases.
Hope your heart heals soon.
Best wishes to you!
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:44:07 PM | Exactly same thing here, I go by phases.
I am either very active and into it. (Not too long ago, I met 5 girls in 4-5 weeks :o )
Or not into it and hardly want to reply to email.
I need a break from time to time. I was actually in break for the last 2-3 weeks. I'm just back on track now.
I need the break otherwise I cannot go on.
Also, I think it is good if you go by phases because while you are on break, new people can subscribe to the site. So, there will be more people to write to.
I just focus on other things when I'm in break.
In my case, it has nothing to do with being depressive or other. I just need to focus on other things and I just don't have interest in meeting new people while being on break. But when I got out of it, then I have a lot of motivation and interest in meeting people. :) | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:03:43 AM | Iwarrior
I have stopped getting excited about women too
you might be a little depressed,I get like that after a long winter of being couped up inside the house........put a plant in a closed cardboard box ,pull it out after 3 months ..
see how it looks
also as a I get older I realize that the young things are kinda not in my reach as much
hmmmmm
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:12:45 AM | warrior...
its completely normal by what i hear and have gone through
i am just sick of the bsss of not all but most men i meet. the games i cant take or handle and refuse to play it.
i am the same now as i was as a teen...i know what i want and what i like. i just cant handle the trash of today's dating ego shall we say. mmmm excuse me but...in my age range,...sorry dear....you aint got the looks or beauty of a teen. you aint got the great health or lack of responsibilities to pick or choose as we did then.
as a teen.,.i had no problem gathering guys,.had 1 for every nite of the week and extras on the side. even now,.i dont lack guys or their attentions. it just i attract the type of guy i dont want to be associated with commitment wise...over past experiences now.
but...its the expectations and self centred selfish me syndrom!! i want this or that..i expect this and that trash.
i am so old in my teen ways..i cant adjust and it shows in the new age of dating. i cant get into the personal ads...or the phone lines etc etc. even online dating sites...i found for myself..its something i havent so far been able to get into. its all so superficial over looks and personality is lost over words on a screen.
why i now do the forums only online..as for meeting guys..i prefer the old way and in public and get the first attraction connection. no games no bsss..you get to set the limits of who you are right away with them...no pregame plays to try and reverse on.
i dont mind being alone..most days right now..but others like tonite...i hate being single but content knowing i will know when its right for me..to start dating again. its just not right now. | |
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Jordaw
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Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:24:32 AM | | dude whatever this is the first time i've been single since i was 14. its nice to have a break, enjoy it. I dont want a relationship with anyone for a long time. Just make sure to let them know before hand or else its an argument waiting to happen. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:06:46 AM | Warrior, I know what you mean and I struggle myself and quite a few times I felt like giving up, I felt discouraged and like either people were playing games or they were superficial, selfish, or too far away, or mean, and it's easy to get discouraged and I do too alot.
I wish people in ALL those areas can try to make an effort to improve so it would make things better and easier for ALL of us. We all want to find love and we don't want to go through alot of discouragment and being treated bad or put down by others.
In the human heart we all want and desire to feel loved. It's normal and natural. People should understand this more....if you want to feel loved , make sure you show love to others, if you don't show love to others how can you think that others will show you the same kind of love.
I just can't get over how selfish so many people are these days, it is depressing i admit and I hope that they can come to their senses.
I would just keep being optimistic and positive and always remember in your heart of hearts that everytime you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, remember that person in the mirror is a winner and is special no matter what anyone says.
Just hang in their and one day the lady that you deserve and I hope she'll be an angel, will come your way and you will know in the bottom of your heart that you are in love and that this love will be real, true and forever like TRUE LOVE is suppose to be.
*****The best things in Life are FREE!!!!!!!! | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:12:25 AM | I have been like that for quite awhile now...I get asked out, but choose to be alone..sit home & read a book..I started this because I was determined to find the right person for me...& while sometimes the lonliness can seem overwhelming...I find it is better, than filling it with one that doesn't fit...I find that I enjoy my own company quite fine...
the problems arise when you try to be close to someone who wants to change you...or you feel the need to change them....physical attraction is simple..but finding 1 who matches you...that's the goal..
I have dated from online...& I think it's better...because you get to know each other 1st...without the physical part of it completely blinding you..good luck
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:18:54 AM | | I just can't get excited about the idea of dating right now either, although it's flattering when someone approaches me. We do go through phases. I'm expecting spring fever to hit any day, though. lol | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/30/2007 6:49:08 AM | | I'm feeling exactly the same way right now, coming off a long relationship a few months ago where I exerted a lot of time, energy, and emotion for nothing has put me off the dating/relationships scene. I don't like being single and would love nothing more than to find a special person to spend my time with and I joined this site for that reason, but lately all I have been doing is posting in the forums. I have come across some profiles I liked but didn't send messages even though I wanted to, maybe fear of rejection has something to do with that but I put it down to being emotionally drained, loving someone takes a lot out of you when the relationship fails and i'm left with that "back at square one" feeling. So to answer your question, I think that everyone goes through that "tired of dating" phase occasionally. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:18:29 PM | yea, its perfectly normal
the only time you should worry is if your unhappy about it, but if your not then i dont see a problem | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:26:13 PM | It is completely normal to -not- feel like dating.
Do yourself (and anybody you might go on a date with) and just step back from the dating scene. Chances are you are -not- ready to be meeting people (story below) and so you would: a) not be emotionally available and b) giving someone false hopes.
So my story is that many months ago the love of my life dumped me. I spent a couple of months getting used to being alone, growing, and grieving. My brother and his fiancee introduced me to this girl whom I thought was nice but nothing special at the time.
Well .. as I am sure you could guess, I was not ready to meet people at this point. Boy was my judgment skewed by my condition.
So months after meeting this nice girl, I can not believe how beautiful and attractive she is. I wouldn't think twice about asking her on a date - and have tried, only to find out her interests lie elsewhere.
Ok, enough of a rant. My story has a point.
If you don't feel completely ready to date, you aren't! So do not try to test your intuition.
_james_ | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:45:14 PM | | It is very normal. A few weeks ago, I was back on the dating bandwagon once again, and then it happened. The return of an EX, so after a few drama filled weeks, my dating switch clicked into the off position because I know right now at this very moment my interest in dating is not there. At this particular moment, I am not the person I am in a relationship, nor am I willing to contribute what I normally do, because I am in a healing mode. Frankley, I don't want to offer someone 50%, that just isn't right. I will admit, sometimes dating and relationships just kick the crap out of you and it is best to sit back and regroup. You will know when you are ready. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:49:28 PM | I'm there too. I just got to the point where I found being alone is preferable than being with just anyone. The whole "dating" thing just doesn't appeal to me. It's fine for some people yes, but being with someone that's "just ok", without much in common, makes me feel even lonelier than if I DIDN'T go out with that person. I've got friends, and that's enough at the moment.
I also feel like ...if it's going to happen at all, it will be in my daily life, and not via the Internet. For the most part, the geographic distances are too far, and it's not realistic for me. I've had a few women contact me, that sounded and looked great, but we both knew that without a helicopter or Lear Jet, there wasn't much we could do about it.
Having had to deal with my Ex's drama and cheating, and some drama from a relationship that really never got off the ground immediately after my divorce ( God knows it would've gotten worse had it progressed further) it just made me very jaded.
Until I find someone in my immediate area that I'm thrilled with, and vice -versa. I'm going to just live my life and concentrate on my work, my friends, and myself.
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:22:07 AM | I feel the same way, jazzdan. I simply won't date long distance anymore, and it seems that the fellows local to me that I've met aren't matches. (Nice enough fellows, most of them, but not for me.) So, I'm quite content to socialize with my friends. Plus, the whole internet dating scene is frustrating at times and I go through phases where I just want to pull my profile here and forget this dating medium. lol It's really hard to determine chemistry when all of your senses aren't in play. I think I'll probably meet the love of my life in a grocery story, squeezing cantaloupes in the produce aisle together. Ah, how romantic....
Now, I'm off to go shopping at Zehr's on Bayfield if anyone wants to meet me in the produce aisle. lol | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 5:53:10 PM |
Personally, I find not dating simply easier. It's not that I don't want a relationship - I do. I'd happily take the good and the bad with the guy who is meant for me. In fact, I look forward to someday settling down with him This is the way I feel too. I'm not in a hurry to date and get into a relationship and rather develop friendship that may potentially evolve. I want to take my time to get to know a person, but I'm finding that most it's all or nothing. Though I may be "stubborn" about this, I know that I will meet that special someone when it's time. I know what I want in my life and what I want to create my life to be and will be patient in allowing this process to happen.
For now, I just like to enjoy what I surround myself with. I enjoy my company and do not need people to 'entertain' me. There are many things that I enjoy doing on my own; it does get lonely at times and I miss the companionship and company of a man, but I'd rather be on my own then "date" just anyone.
Warrior, it's hard to tell without know the dynamics of your situation whether you're still getting over your ex. I feel that there are people in our lives that we will miss even if we don't want to be in relationship with them, but the time with them was as special as they are. There are several men in my life that I miss today because they touched my soul. Enjoy your moment of solitude and in time, that special person will come you way when you're ready. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:10:40 PM | Must be the Aquarius in us. I feel the same. I'll play around at the foodmarket, and flirt with women, but I just don't have the drive. I don't care much anymore. If I meet someone, so be it, if not, that's ok too.
I know what you mean. But I'm not getting over anyone (thank god). If I like a woman, I can find myself in a fuzzy world of day dreams, and have to yank myself out. I try to stay away from day dreaming. Wasted effort. I know it's not because I'm getting older (50), I was like this as a kid. While everyone was chasing every squirrel and not getting any, I was content to sit back with my chick and laugh at them. I'd like to be there again someday. | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:18:51 PM | | I haven't been too much into dating lately. I have actually learned to enjoy being alone. But if I am asked out, and the guy appeals to me, I go for it. But I am not making a career out of it. I enjoy meeting friends on this site and I have made some good platonic friends here. I have been on POF lately for the forums, which are quite informative, not to mention amusing! | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:33:06 PM | | I find it perfectly normal...when many as I ....have a demanding job...a home , a yard...a son....a dog.....hardly leaves me much time and energy. I really cannot see putting alot of energy into another wrong turn....again! I have friends on here...and outside of here...that do not simply understand...my feelings. I just simply wish to meet someone in my own time...maybe fate? I have met and dated many from here...always was not right for me. I actually hate blind dates...and have found many are just that from here. I am maybe in a transition...looking for more of me....before I look for a man in my life. I have often rushed this in the past ....found it entirely a mistake. I think we are perfectly normal. I just wish others....even men whom dont date either........give me crap about it! Get over my dating......hahah.a I have! | |
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| Is It Normal To Not Feel Like Dating?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:54:49 PM | Totally normal.
I started here with dating on my profile. I got a lot emails, some weird, some retarded, and some really cool, nice, down to earth guys. I exchange email with some of them still and am happy for it. Despite that, I came to the conclusion that for me, right now, I am just wanting to sit back and enjoy being single. I got out of a relationship in December and even though I am over it and moved on, I am not quite wanting to date right now either. I am enjoying coming home without any demands made on me other than by my cat and doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I've kind of been using my time to better myself: working out, eating right, cooking again, reading, reworking my finances, improving my apartment, etc.
So I would say that we all find ourselves at some point just wanting to have alone time and not ready or desiring the whole dating game.
hope that helps. | |
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