| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:25:01 AM | How do you handle this awkward question ? Seems like this question is the elephant in the room for men.
Inevidably that question comes up. Is this not the harbinger of a choice being considered about net worth ?
As it is, I feel it is important NOT to project wealth.... | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:36:17 AM | Occupation can reveal a person's interests and income can limit leisure options.
So I'm thinking there shouldn't be a huge gap between both people.
But other than that I don't think it's too important.
Anyone against dating a hitman? I make tons. Have to relocate often though. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:45:08 AM | Well, yes, but it is considered a bit more socially acceptable to ask what type of work you do than to ask what your net worth is. It is not appropriate to ask what another person's income is though either of course.
Women do find net worth interesting, as do men. I also know several women who have lost quite a bit of money through men who misrepresented their assets (or lack of) and debts (significant). Unfortunately they discovered this bad news after having married them. The kicker is that someone with a good job and a good income is also very likely to have a good amount of debts!
So, instead of asking what is your occupation or income a much better question really would be to ask what is your net worth? Try getting a first date if you screen people for this one! Believe me, women are as touchy on this one too nowadays if they have any assets. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:45:37 AM | I don't care how much money a man makes....
I care if he enjoys what he does... If he's happy... then if you end up together most likely he will be happier when with you!
I've dated:
Chiropractor-bragged about owning his practice, his bmw, his home
Financial planner- bragged about his condo, 2nd home in Tahoe, boat, said he'd buy a place close to me if we hit it off
Clerk in a paint store-lived paycheck to paycheck
I was turned off by the 1st two because they weren't any fun.... and I was bored with all the bragging!
I had more fun with the clerk... unfortunately, he was just used to hanging out with skanky women and didn't know how to handle a gal with class! but we had fun! LOL | |
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| Dude, that's like, so LA.
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:53:31 AM |
As it is, I feel it is important NOT to project wealth
Take Malibu and France off your profile then. And it's "inevitably" not "inevidably". | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:00:41 PM | So, instead of asking what is your occupation or income a much better question really would be to ask what is your net worth? Try getting a first date if you screen people for this one! Believe me, women are as touchy on this one too nowadays
Well said; now women have started to see the same predictable pattern we men have been enduring for years. Often enough, the date will ask - "So, are you rich??! Tee hee!" - gee, like we haven't heard that line for the millionth time you gold digger.
Just play down your worth. I can't believe the morons who'll showboat their
wealth and their "I'm a doctor" BS. They deserve to be taken. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:04:08 PM | I think the most important thing is to use the money you do have wisely and not to overspend and be in debt. A lot of people with a LOT of money are very cheap and no fun. I would rather be with a blue collar "lower income" bloke who is generous to a fault than with a rich hoity-toity fella who counts every darn penny whilst his nose is up in the air!
Dying with a lot of money in the bank to me is not a good goal nor is keeping up with the Jones's. Using money as a tool or medium of exchange to obtain the things that make us happy and sustain us is the purpose of money so if there is not enough to meet basic needs (and a good budget always includes entertainment as an expense) there is a problem. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:17:32 PM | | While I want a man who is responsible, it doesn’t matter how much he earns or what he does (well, it HAS to be lawful). It is more important to me that he is happy and fulfilled. I would never ask how much ANYONE earns (it’s rude). Through the discourse of getting to know one another, I will be interested in his profession, but that’s because I’m interested in learning about HIM, not because I’m critiquing his income potential. Likewise, I would hope he would want to learn about my career, interests, etc. If we’re both living responsibly on our own, then I see no reason we couldn’t successfully meld our lives if relationship potential was there. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:20:12 PM | | Lady... you hit the nail squarely on the head. I have many very wealthy clients. Most are so cheap they squeek when they walk. I would prefer someone who makes as much as I do or a little more. Which wont be hard soon because once I retire I will be one po-tater... But I will also be happy. That is the best we can hope for, happiness. | |
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atlast
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Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:25:41 PM | | Income doesn't matter as much to me as debt. I have met women who make twice as much money as I do and owe so much they can't afford to go to McDonalds. They have a closet full of shoes courtesy of Visa, and expensive designer purses thanks to Mastercard, and a nice house with huge tax and insurance payments, usually courtesy of an ex-husband, but they have to foot the bills for it now. My mom got a credit card for "emergencies". $2000.00 in charges later, and not one emergency. A sale at Sears is NOT an emergency! | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:31:56 PM | Funny you should ask. It was just brought up in another thread
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts7194265.aspx
And this was my response:
I can't count how many times one of the first things that comes out of a women’s mouth is "What do you do"
I used to respond and try to impress them telling them "I'm a Network Engineer for a major Energy Company"
Now I don't answer the question. I make a joke of it, by saying something like "I sell my plasma on the weekends and sperm during the week" It's funny and I have indirectly avoided her question, thus further remaining mysterious. The more you remain mysterious I've found that the more women will remain interested, that they haven't "figured me out", and summed me up in the 5 minutes of conversation that it usually takes with every other guy
I make shitloads of money, but why is that important to someone sitting on the other side of the table? | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:37:02 PM | | I like to know 2 things - does he work? Does he enjoy his job? Other than that, I'm not interviewing him for a job or a loan, so I don't need to know the rest. It just isn't as important as whether or not he kicks the cat or torments spiders by pulling their legs off. Those are more the burning questions I need answers to. At least today. | |
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| Dude, that's like, so LA.
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:42:25 PM | Ehh.... "inevidably" is spelled correctly and used appropriately. France will always be a part of me.
Malibu is a very beautiful place (Alas, I don't live there.) | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:44:05 PM | This "awkward question" should never come up, unless you're getting married and have agreed to full disclosure on both sides. Otherwise, it's bad manners.
I've dated guys with Mercedes, BMW and Jaguar convertibles and I much preferred dating the guy that bought a used Miata convertible for $3,500 cash as a "play" car so he could leave his gas-guzzling 4x4 at home most of the time. The luxury car owners were so status-conscious they didn't know how to have fun.
My answer, if someone IS rude enough to ask the question, is "well, I was raised not to talk about money, politics or religion in polite company, but I will tell you I live within my means." I say something similar if someone's trying to "sell" me on their religion, too. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:45:45 PM | I dont think its important at all, because if you think it is that important then that means that all u care about is money and if you just care about money then your just a Gold digger | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:47:59 PM | Well you ain't gonna get much of anywhere without them. Other than men who need to "rescue" women who are destitute or nearly so( and I'm not sure which one I feel more sorry for) I think everybody's a little scared about getting fished in by a gold digger or freeloader.
Cindy O | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:51:36 PM | This really depends on ones mental make-up and expectation...
In some cases it means the world to some who want a brighter future or better living standards, and there are those who can put this aside and go with a positive flow, but at the same time dating could be short-lived, at which time occupation and income is less emphasized.... | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:02:53 PM | Well, I'm disabled so that limits me income wise. It did teach me a lot though. All though I do OK, I did learn how to manage money better. I have a credit card, a credit line just in case I mess up and overdraw on my checking account, and a Old Navy card that is about paid off. That last one was thanks to my ex. It will be closed when that is paid off.
Me, it doesn't matter about money. If who I meet can take care of themselves then we should be OK. I also don't feel that money is the most important thing anyway, communication and being able to enjoy each other is way more important.
That's my $0.02 worth for today. Since I am working in my garden and sweaty, it may not be worth much.
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 2:22:46 PM | When I look at occupation I look more for schedule compatability, and the time demands his job puts on him than any dollar amount. Store manager? I think "long hours, late nights, no weekends", for example. WTH is this net worth crap?? I do know what it is but not with respect to a dating scenario.
I have never asked, and wont ever, how much someone makes, but sometimes things get hinted at later on. Like if he has to work "overtime"we can joke about it being "worthwhile" and he might comment on something like that with information. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:50:10 PM | When I ask what someone does, it's to find out what their occupation is as a topic of conversation.
To me money and dating don't mix - I don't care what he makes as long as he's happy with his life, as I have my own finances and my own life. The only concern women have in this day and age is having to support someone else and/or end up paying for everything with someone we're dating. | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:53:54 PM | I think it's important to just be you. Bragging about your money or status is pretty repulsive, but buying a beater to drive and getting clothes at the Goodwill just to give your date a different impression is weird as well.
I think people should give honest answers about what they do, and where they went to school, etc. In the first place, just because you're a doctor or a lawyer doesn't necessarily mean you have/make a lot of money. You could work for Legal Aid for all they know.
On a first date you probably want to cover a lot of territory, so it's not exactly like either of you is going to have an in depth discussion about your careers.
But is sort of disingenuous to show up in some beater and then down the road they find out you really drive a Lexus and live in this lovely house. I just don't give up all the details about myself right away, and let my dates find out things about me as we get to know each other.
And BTW, I'm a journalist. It is inevitably, not "inevidably". However, your usage is correct. Spell check is your friend.
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:13:46 PM | I think it really depends on what the persons expectations are, or their past experiences with men. Although money isnt everything, it would be nice to know that they are financially stable and not one to have 20 jobs in a year. Thats a turnoff to me, and shows me that they lack responsibility.
But as long as they work everyday and take care of their own...its all good with me! | |
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| How important is income and occupation in dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2007 9:08:12 PM | At one time I didn't care at all about income or occupation... truly discovered people as people and enjoyed the experience of learning who they are. However, I'm evolving my opinion on this one... I've come to appreciate there needs to be balance.
I've dated men who made significantly less than I did and it became a problem. As Vancer said earlier... it limits leisure options - add to that SOME people have an issue when their partner's earn more than they do.
Occupation is admittedly less of a concern; as long as they are successful (can be defined in many ways) and fulfilled with their career it likely is fine. However, there are areas I'm interested in, and if they happen to work in one of those fields right away some of our interests line up. Equally so, there are some careers I find mind-numbing... if they happen to be the sort of people who talk a great deal about their work, well, in the fullness of time that gets to be quite boring. | |
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| Dude, that's like, so LA.
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:19:26 AM |
Ehh.... "inevidably" is spelled correctly and used appropriately. George Castanza, is that you? | |
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