| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/29/2007 9:56:18 PM | What is your idea of Heaven And Hell?
Here's mine....
Heaven....A 24 Hour In N Out Burger that serves alcohol
Hell....Being punished for my sins by getting pelted with lemons thrown at me by teenage girls wearing Hot Dog On A Stick Uniforms. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:07:01 PM | Heaven....eating burgers and drinking beer while watching teenage girls dressed in hot dog on a stick uniforms throw lemons at some guy.
Hell....see above. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:07:43 PM | Heaven: A place run by a mean, self centered, overbearing, judgemental, hateful, selfish, tirant, where everyone claims to love this spiteful selfish being, because they fear him.
Hell: A place run by an outcast, who stood up, spread his black wings and yelled in the face of the tirant, "I SHALL NOT SERVE!"
Metaphorically speaking of course, since neither place exists. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:15:57 PM | | Oh yeah! tell me it does'nt exist when I have Double-Double in my face and a shot of Cabo Wabo in my hand. | |
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Ender
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Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:17:25 PM | Heaven: A place where people can exchange information at the speed of thought and there are is no social backlash for speaking/thinking/acting differently.
Hell: Eternal seperation from the collective consciousness of humanity. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:41:00 AM |
Hell: Eternal seperation from the collective consciousness of humanity.
Harsh toke.
I'm going to be losing sleep over that one. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/30/2007 3:58:43 PM | | You died in the food court at the mall, didn't you? | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:09:52 PM | This is Hell
Heaven...follow the light  | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:55:13 PM | | I'll sit next to db in heaven and watch paddy make lemonade outta lemons. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:07:09 PM | Hell: The movie "Brazil" with the original ending.
Heaven: The movie "Brazil" with the re-written ending because people didn't like the ending in its first time around.
Is that a dark answer or what?
A little less dark, but maybe not much better:
Heaven: The invention of the Internet.
Hell: The invention of the Internet.
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/1/2007 11:36:56 AM |
Hell....Being punished for my sins by getting pelted with lemons thrown at me by teenage girls wearing Hot Dog On A Stick Uniforms. This sounds like more of a fetish fantasy to me... | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/1/2007 9:41:44 PM | | Actually it's the girls at Wienerschnitzel who are part of that. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/2/2007 8:42:15 AM | Heaven is a long fun party everyday , pizza and live music abounding , mmmmmm sound like my eveneings anyhow.
Hell, no pizza, no music just ugly mean people slapping me behind my head , mmmm damn sis ! | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:27:56 PM | A really nice guy came to the end of his journey and passed away. He had a good life and was satisfied with it. The town's people were sad to see him go because he had been nice to everybody and always had the time to stop and smell the roses and help others along their way. At his funeral, they all talked about how much they would miss him....
When he got up to St. Peter (oh, come on, we HAD to have one of these in this thread somewhere didn't we???), St. Peter said to him, "Mr. Smith, we've been expecting you and have created a great reception for you. We are quite glad you are here. But, this morning I recieved quite an unusual message from my boss about what I am to offer you as you enter heaven. My boss said that He recognizes that you were SUCH A NICE AND GOOD PERSON that I am to give you whatever wish you might desire as you enter through our pearly gates.
The man thought for a moment and then replied that he was always curios what hell looked like, and so he asked if he could see hell for even just 30 seconds to get the idea. Well, St. Peter spent no time at all and wisked him away on a personally guided tour of hell for a few seconds prior to his acceptance into heaven.
When they arrived, the man saw hell. There he found that there was this HUGE banquette table filled with every type of food that ever had been invented, deliciously prepared, and with all the trimmings that could be thought of. There were appetizers, drinks, main dishes, desserts, nuts, fruits, all that could be ever desired (including mountains of chocolate). Then he looked a little further. He then saw that it was within a huge banquette hall room, and that there were all of these spirits sitting around on the floor at the edges of the room against each wall, just staring at the food longingly and crying and starving, and each was holding a pair of six foot long chopsticks. The man soon realized that they couldn't eat the wonderful food that had been deliciously prepared with six foot long chopsticks, and he then turned to St. Peter and said that he understood indeed why this was hell, and asked Peter if he could return now; he got the picture.
Peter, who never really liked hell, was glad and quick to speedily wisk them away again back to heaven, via going through the pearly gates, and into the huge hall. There in the hall, the man was immediately fitted with his wings and white robe and the angels began to sing splendidly about the wonderful glory of their new guest's arrival. Then, as the man entered he found that heaven had exactly the same banquette table, a HUGE banquette table filled with every type of food that ever had been invented, deliciously prepared, and with all the trimmings that could be thought of. But here, instead of finding the people all sitting around the edges looking starvingly at the food while holding their six foot long chopsticks, he instead found everybody partying and dancing and eating and laughing and having the times of their lives!!! But he didn't comprehend! It was the same room, but a very different place!
He then turned to St. Peter and asked,
"How come in hell the people are starving, and here it's a party?....I mean it's the same room, the same food (including the chocolate), even the same six foot long chopsticks, but in hell they are sarving, but here it's a party!!!"
St. Peter stood for just a moment, and then he raised his arm and pointed to the people at the party, and he then turned to the man and said,
"Mr. Smith, do you see here that in heaven we use the six foot long chopsticks to feed each other?"
And that's the difference between heaven and hell. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/2/2007 8:30:07 PM | heaven: 31 cent scoops at Baskin Robbins! tonight only!
hell: mcDonalds slopshake (I don't even think they use real milk) | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/2/2007 8:45:46 PM | anybody who is helping others to remember that tonight is the night for ice cream at Baskin Robins (especially since they have 3 flavors of chocolate this month up!) is definitely using those 6' long chopsticks to help each other!!!!! Thanks Bill! Gotta run!  | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/3/2007 1:15:09 AM | Heaven... Being stuck in an elevator with Kim Bassinger and a bottle of Chardonay.
Hell... Being stuck in an elevator with Alec Baldwin and his restraining order. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/3/2007 2:37:35 AM | Heaven....finding the love of your life and spending eternity with them...
Hell....spending another holiday alone with your friends and family asking where's your date? | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:36:10 AM | Heaven, the opera every night
Hell, rap 24/7 | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:07:33 PM | | What's interesting to me is that heaven and hell are both gated communities. Or they are described as such... "The Gates of Heaven/ Pearly Gates" and the "Gates of Hell." Perhaps they were built from the same plans, and one just fell into a state of disrepair. I suppose the main difference is that the gates of heaven are designed to keep people out, and the gates of hell are designed to keep people in. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:23:16 PM | | James: I think it just depends upon which side of our US-Mexico Boarder Wall that you're looking at it from. | |
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| Heaven And Hell
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:59:10 PM | Another really great guy died. (sorry, have to have at least two of these in this thread- this one is perfect for presidential election days)
He got to Heaven and St. Peter once again showed him around. He saw the most beautiful place, people dressed in togas, playing flutes and violins, very peaceful and wonderful and nice. But St. Peter told him because he was so good he could get one request and he, too, said "I would like to see Hell."
So St. Peter took him down in the elevator, and when he got there he saw the most gorgeous country club. Look! There were all of his old friends! They beckoned to him and they spent the day playing golf and eating amazing food and drinking****ails and being fawned upon by beautiful, skantily-clad women. The nice dead guy left that night, confused.
The next morning, St. Peter told him he could have one more thing, and that was to decide if he wanted to spend eternity in Heaven or Hell.
The guy thought for a long time, and finally said, "Pete, I hate to say this, but I'm gonna have to choose Hell."
He took the elevator by himself this time, and when the doors opened, he saw a scene of utter desolation. Fires leaping from the landscape, misery everywhere, and even his friends, but instead of golfing they were slaving over hot fires, starved and weary.
The nice guy went straight to the devil and said, "I don't get it. Just yesterday this place was paradise- what could have changed in 24 hours?"
The devil answered, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted." | |
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| Heaven and Hell...Can you describe them?
Posted: 5/23/2007 6:19:28 PM | ..........most like to have fun with this senerio... but in reality we also know both are indiscribable. Nor would I want to try an describe Hell, .....and when I get to heaven, mere words would not come close to what Heaven is like.
I do not think there is sleep in Heaven, but total awareness always.
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| Heaven and Hell...Can you describe them?
Posted: 5/23/2007 7:03:05 PM | No need to sleep in heaven because we won't get tired.
Which brings up an interesting thought I have often tossed around in my head. What would planet earth and the human race be like if man did not have to take time out each day to sleep, but could work or play 24 hours straight? Would this planet be more like heaven or more like hell? (think in terms of achivements as well as crime and pollution) | |
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