| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:51:24 AM | You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?  | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:40:24 AM | I would just make assumptions.
I would assume, that he has been responsible enough, to use birth control with his partners, because he might have realized, that 1. There are already too many people on the planet. 2. He might feel that he would be unable to provide a safe, financially secure environment for his offspring, and he doesn't want to be irresponsible. 3. He didn't find anyone compatable to marry, and was not willing to settle for a relationship out of mere desperation, in order to avoid being single.
I'm sure there are many more assumptions that can be made, just as there can be made for women and men who have been married several times, and have a bunch of kids that they cannot afford to take care of properly. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:41:11 AM | | I'm 32 and clever enough to not be married or breed :) I kinda expect the same in a mate. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:10:51 PM | Yeah, I'd basically assume that they've been responsible up to now.
They've been careful with sex, using protection and what have you.
And they've not jumped into a marriage of convenience. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:39:11 PM | Why make any assumptions? I think it's very sensible and wise in my opinion to of never married with no kids in your 20s and 30s. It shows somepeople are not suckers in conforming to peer pressures, maybe from family or friends and society in general. I probably would like to get married in my late 30s early 40s, I'm not too keen on having kids for financial reasons plus the world is so over populated nowadays.
I find women with a string of failed marriages, relationships and numerous kids off putting, sorry and that's where my assumptions and questions would be aimed at. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:45:16 PM | Thread search is your friend. A
And B. I'd assume they didn't want kids, didnt meet the right person, weren't in a hurry.. or all of the above.
There's the 3 reasons I'm 36 and unmarried and child-free. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:21:21 PM | I would not make assumptions. Each to their own. I get enough assumptions on being a single mother so, I would never do that for those who have never been married or don't have kids. Some people put career, travel, first, who haven't found the right person, or whose goals in life aren't to get married at a young age, and have kids.
We are all individuals, none of our choices are right or wrong.! as long as we are on the same page if we should date, that is all that matters to me | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:01:31 PM | I'm 33, I've never married and I don't have any children. I've friends both older and younger, male and female who are the same as well as friends who are marrieds, divorced and have children.
I've not got kids because if I do have them then I'd prefer to be married first, and I've yet to meet the right person. I don't know if that person will ever come along and although the body clock is ticking I'm ok with it (most of the time! lol). I have a fabulous neice and another neice/ nephew on the way as well as 3 god daughters. I get to play at being the mad auntie and as much as I love them all to bits, it's so nice being able to give them back.
I'm dating a guy at the moment who's divorced and is having a tonne of problems with his ex wife over his kids. This is the first person I've ever dated who already has children and to be honest, I'm finding it quite difficult for a vairety of reasons.
I think at the end of the day assumptions are made if you're in your 30's and you'v never married or had kids, I get asked why i've not alot. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:31:35 PM | I find it funny that some people would prefer an over 30 with broken marriages than an over 30 that has never been married. It is not 1950 anymore... Women go to college now and try to have some form of a life.. They do not graduate high school, marry their high school sweetheart, have a baseball team of kids and bake cookies . Both sexes that are over 30, never been married and have no kids - I would say they are the smart ones. Hopefully they have taken the time to learn about themselves and grow.. Not just jumped from one marriage to another in an attempt to discover their true selves.
I have talked to guys on here who are in their mid 30's and have been married 2 -3 times... That scares me way more than a guy who have never married. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:31:37 PM | | I would be like YAY, lol I've never been married and have no kids. I'm 30 and I want both, and it would be nice to have the same in a mate.... I wouldn't make any assumptions negative or positive. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:39:47 PM | Thats a tough call, perhaps in the early 30s would be 'whatever'.....but when I meet a guy in the later 30s or even 40s who has never been married or kids, I have to ponder, in relationship to my experiences and his lack there of......... | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:45:25 PM | I'm 30 and childfree because I spent my 20s working, going to school, then establishing a career. Now that I have taken care of that business, it's time to settle down...
I would assume the same from a man in his early 30s. Chances are that he has had one or several LTRs with lots of playing inbetween but just never settled down because he was in school and later establishing a career. My guess is that he is a professional and takes it seriously as a means of providing for his future family...but maybe I am too optimistic?
Or he could just be a loser who still lives at home with his mama and has severe emotional issues and all his exes are buried in his basement  | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:09:55 PM | I would call her smart
I'm only half as smart...Never Married with Kids | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:44:33 AM | | I don't pay any attention to never having kids since alot of people with children didn't make a conscious decision to have them, it just happened. I'd also wholeheartedly take a chance on the person that's never been married rather than the one that's been married and divorced umpteen times. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:27:22 AM | | Iv never thought much of it ...either they haven't found the right person, Career has pretty much been their life ....or just hasnt had an interest in being married or having kid's at the moment....its not like its a mandatory thing in everyones life. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2007 5:30:48 PM | | I've been married but I never had kids, and I'm 45 years old. I get ALOT of strange looks from people, and I am sure they are assuming alot of things. The truth is that in my mid-twenties I had a miscarriage. Then I was in a lousy marriage and didn't want to bring children into the world while I was in such a bad situation. Now that I am divorced, I feel I am too old to start trying to have children now, and I'm not going to go out looking for a sperm donor to knock me up, especially when there are health risks involved when you are having a child at my age. I always feel like I am having to explain myself to people, and I am really sick of it. I love kids, and I don't mind dating a man who has kids, but in my case, I feel it may be working against me that I never had them, because I am judged unfairly, like I didn't fulfill my obligation as a woman or something, and it hurts. Especially when people are talking about kids, and they leave you out of the conversation. Yes, people make all sorts of assumptions, and they shouldn't. The person who never married either didn't find the right person, was focused on their career, came from a broken home or there could have been any number of reasons. The person who didn't have children could have a number of valid reasons as well. But that doesn't make them bad people. I am glad that alot of people on here understand that. I wish they did in real life. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:38:41 PM | I'm 43 and a failure becuase I haven't produced a broken home? WTF?
with all due reszpect if you use criteria like this in deciding whether or not to get to know an INDIVIDUAL then you are...consumed by stereotype. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:43:19 PM | Assumptions? Honestly. Must everyone marry young only in order to get divorced for marrying too young?
That's another assumption! Really, no assumptions can be made. I'm 35 going to be 36 in June, never have been married, never had children, and it isn't because of anything wrong with me. I've decided, set aside a nice firm foundation to live on. That takes time to do on your own, but once you do, then it makes sense to build from there. Had I married straight out of college, well, maybe I would have never found my dream job. Who knows. But I have no regrets. Those who make the best of their time never should have any regrets. Now that I'm ready, it seems friends are beginning to pop out of the woodworks. It remains to be seen if one of them will want to take me permanently. Cause I'd jump at the opportunity the moment they are ready. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/4/2007 12:09:14 AM | | <<< never married, no kids here either. why should it be a bad thing that i didn't carelessly have babies in my teens/twenties, or that I haven't been jaded/broken by an unhappy marriage? i'm happy with who i am, selective about who i want to spend my life with, and i have nothing/no one to hold me back from living my life fully. personally, i think that i'm a better potential partner for someone now than i ever could've been before i hit my 30's. i would think the same of a single man in his 30's who had made similar choices. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/4/2007 1:46:28 AM | | I have never been married and i have no kids. I might like to get married if i could find the right guy for me but i would never get married just for the sake of being married as so many people do . I dont fear being alone . In fact the older i get the more i like it . As for kids NO WAY !!!! I am so glad i never got married in my twenties and as a result had a bunch of whining ,temper tantrum throwing snot nosed brats on my back. Kids are the absolute last thing i need or want.Why should i drag more children into this world when so many other people are willing to do it everyday and without any thought at all as to whether or not the kids wants to be dragged into their particular situation. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:28:31 AM | | Not really, it's just not their time yet, maybe they haven't met anyone. | |
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