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Posted: 5/4/2007 12:18:07 AM | | I'm not going to whine today. You good people must be sick of hearing it. I'm sick of hearing myself to be honest. My question is this: on a very limited budget, and being over sized, and with a passionate dislike of 'designer' labels ( for 'designer' see under the entry that covers workers in virtual slavery, whilst multinationals grow fat on the backs of the downtrodden, as they continue in their rape of mother earth), how does one shop for clothes and come up with attire that you feel comfortable in and other people find cool? | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 12:57:39 AM | | Who cares if other people find it cool or not? Neutral jeans and tshirts and jumpers are pretty safe choices. Look online for ethical companies to be truly cool at the deepest level, or for a cheaper alternative try second hand/charity shops. It doesn't much matter what you wear, 'tis what is in your heart that can make you shine. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 2:45:26 AM | | Amen. I wish more people felt that way. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 10:49:08 AM | i love thrift or second hand stores because i can put together my own look.
at an art show last week i saw the art professor wearing something that caught my attention...
he had on an african type, untucked, white, linen shirt with a downwards slit at the neckline ...and some bit of white embroirdry at the neck ...white on white..the shirt had slits at the side hems...giving it permission to be worn untucked...
this shirt was worn over some basic black baggy pants...probably drawstrings....{Amish style pants are great on larger men: "broadfalls" worn with suspenders...but keep the suspenders thin to avoid the lumberjack look unless you want that (then wear a plaid shirt tucked in and an ax...but it might scare the pretties away so stick with the other look or forget the ax) } ......anyway back to the art professor: and over this untucked white blousy free long sleeve shirt he had a black long vest that covered the hem of his shirt..it was a vest that had the collar like those priests wear...or like Amish wear...help me out you people out there who know what im talking about...names of these fashions...it had a stand up chinesey collar? anyway, wear that with black socks and black shoes and get a few outfits of that together and you can wear it like a uniform everyday...and get noticed quick.
anyway, he was a large man and wore this free-form clothing very well and looked WOW!...black and white forever | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 12:17:22 PM | | I for one will never wear anything i dont enjoy myself. I honestly could care less what others like lol. I wear suits sometimes, really nice ones, and others days im full goth heavy metal. I think the best place to shop is ----- thrift stores Why ? ok this is my own opinion id rather buy something at thrift store and be recycling and helping the enviorment than buying crap at walmart that is just that crap. I find extreamly nice stuff at thrift stores that is 100 X better than walmart junk. every once ina while ill buy something from a designer store if i must or its a special occasion or a present but other wise i find really nice stuff at thrift stores to help the enviroment while i shop - resuse and donate ! | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 1:46:12 PM | As a woman of plumptitude myself, I've found dressing in with the flair that better reflects my inner "ooomph" discouraging. money and economic responsibility is also an issue for me. I found a long time ago that certain cuts flatter my fuller figure and when I find them I stock up on the basics.
I have been fortunate enough to live in an area that has a huge recycling center and pick up many many many things for free from there. The next logical step was to create my own out of these bits and pieces I scrounged. (I've been sewing since I was a child). But most often I DO shop at Walmart and Target type stores.. But here's the hint! only buy items that are so classic that no one can tell they are not "high end". A great fitting pair of jeans is a great fitting pair of jeans.. regardless of the name.
So armed with these type of "basics" (plain neutral tops in flattering cuts, and a few skirts and jeans) I then go to my creative side. My saved money does NOT go to clothing but to fabulous jewelry and the occasional accent piece such as a wildly gorgeous jacket from bali. I throw on a black top, a pair of jeans (all totalled cost under $30(this doesn't even cover my clearance shopping!)) and add that fabulous jewelry and OH MY.. I get comments all the time at how luxurious and sexy my outfits are. They never guess that I made the overjacket from two $5 sarongs bought at the import store and shirt and jeans are from wally world.
as a man of size I would suggest finding wherever you can.. clearance, thrift, recyclecenter, or wally world, the basic tops and pants that flatter you the best in earthy, neutral colors. (other colors tend to show their "cheapness".
Avoid pleats in pants, watch carefully for length.. you don't want them too short.. it only makes you look squatter. Make sure the shirt fits but is not hanging on you. (The biggest mistake sometimes larger people do is to try to "hide" all that body under tenty coverings. NO NO!
The BEST thing I ever did was to stop wearing all those blouses and jumpers that "floated" over my curves. I instantly looked like I had lost 40lbs! I never wore tighter jeans because they hugged my belly and I thought that was disgusting.. Then I put on a pair that was well fitting and found I had a coup here. Go big girl.. lol. I've thrown out every long tunic and tent dress I ever owned. My curves are my damned curves.
Then when you've got the basics covered, splurge on a great pair of shoes (which are better for your feet anyhow), a fabulous watch, a more fabulous haircut and if you can a GREAT jacket. Spend your money only in the WOW spots. and if you still can't afford the great shoes or watch.. then buy as classic an "inexpensive" watch/shoes as you can.. one that is difficult to discern from it's inspiration. (They are expensive because they are good looking most often.. so copy what already is established as yummy!)
I could go on and on about this.. probably because as an artist, I enjoy seeing myself, and my flawed body as a work of (imperfect) art... and want my exterior to better reflect my interior...
good luck. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 2:36:43 PM | | thanks BeingJulia for the best practical help for me as a fluffy woman myself....all those ideas are perfect and im going through my closet tonight to check it out...and donate to the thrift store...recycle baby. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 2:58:06 PM | teehee.. she's "fluffy".. lovin that.
rock on.
Honestly, I have an absolutely flawed body.. (some might say it had to be big to contain all this).. but I strangely enough, attract the most attention and compliments with this attitude. (This insight was gained in my late 30's.) creation, inspiration and ATTITUDE!
I live as a single woman on a budget of less than $20,000 a year. (oh that's not going to help me get a date) I simply cannot afford to purchase the clothing that I'd love to wear. (and I'm loathe to support such an industry) But i've been known to eat PB&J for weeks so that I can walk into that incredible import store (that supports bali cottage industry-- and yes, I've researched as much as I can to know that it's not a scam-- women who make this stuff, sell to us and with the proceeds support themselves) and buy that one piece that sets it all off. It might only be once a year.. (right now once every two maybe), but I think it's worth it.
I haven't had a haircut in over 2 years. I haven't ever had my nails manicured. I've never had a facial. But I have my tricks for that too...
I've learned how to create my own beauty products out of grocery/organic items and pamper myself like the spas (and do this with my girl friends too, party like for fun..) It keeps me entertained and my skin is glowy and healthy.
oooh.. i'm braggy on this thread.. I apologize.. lol.. I don't mean to be.. I'm just proud of my frugal artistic accomplishments. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 5:12:02 PM | its not braggy..its sharing the tricks girl
I have 7 children and we lived beautifully on 25,ooo a year!...without public assistance,
gardens, homemade soups and breads, made clothing...love to sew!...second hand stores for shoes....bought new undergarments, homemade cloth diapers, clothes lines, and plenty of work for everyone
studied herbal remedies and grew, harvested, and manufactured own tinctures, soap, medications...teas...lotions etc...so i know the rewards of organic pleasures.
havent laid out in the sun all these years but kept me self covered...now i have the softest babysmooth skin.
but i needed your help in visualizing the wardrobe and having a plan...the basic with the accessories to flash off..
you know when i have worn exactly what you have described i have had the WOW factor! | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 8:50:14 PM | | well on this side of the pond those of us who are thrifty shop at thrift stores. One can find all sorts of things stylish and not so stylish there, it's loads of fun too! and, i always receive compliments on the outfits i get there. The other thing is, the depreciation has already been absorbed not by you. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2007 11:13:18 PM | oh Dijana.. you are indeed a kindred spirit.. I applaud you for keeping close to the realities of the importance of living well.
I too raised my family on a small budget.. love to cook, garden, sew, went the cloth diaper route, and studied herbal remedies. lol. We have a lot in common.. and to tell you the truth its a blast hearing that there is someone like you out there, as I thought it was a dying art, this life creation thing.. I haven't met a soul in forever who can say that they've done what we have so lovingly done. It saddens me to no end that these arts are dwindling in the hearts of so many.
I have a feeling that the wardrobe thing for you is going to fall into place just as everything else has.. you seem to be a creative and resourceful woman. Best blessings to you..
I'm wondering how our original poster is doing on the subject..... | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 4:44:15 AM | | I bought two gorgeous T shirts from ASDA the other day, and they cost me £4 each! That's a pound cheaper than I usually pay on the rag market in Birmingham. I'm a also considering having a go at tie dyeing. I feel most comfortable in jeans and t shirt, with either my leather jacket or a denim. | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 5:07:57 AM | I agree with the others that suggest thrift stores. Another idea is to shop at stores when they have end of season sales.
No matter where you shop, make sure to purchase flattering colours and styles. You are a man of 'generous nature' and should not wear stripes, as you are in your main pic. Buy and wear monochromatic outfits. They will make you look taller and slimmer. | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 10:37:10 AM | who gives a sh1t what other people really think is cool,what matters is what you find comfortable to wear.i wear black all the time and some people say i should have more color in my clothes but i don't feel like having more color.its what i feel comfy in that counts.so i guess my taste is boring in some peoples eyes but ...whatever | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 12:22:35 PM | there are a lot of reasons to give a shit. For one, this man is trying to attract a partner and lets face it, to make the first connection..it's all physical. We're wired that way. We're physically built that way. Eyes up front. all of it. It's designed that way to attract a mate. And seeing as we don't go around naked, what we wear does go far in how we present ourselves.
I've met many many nice people who dress horribly. But they didn't attract me right off. And this man needs to attract someone right off.. obviously he is looking for all the help he can get. If his outgoing nature was getting him noticed he wouldn't have a problem.
Making his outside as attractive as he can, all the while working on social skills is what is needed if he wants to meet his goals.
There is no way to get arond the fact that we "read" people based on a few things:
1. body type (it registers or it doesn't and everyone is different)
2. body language
3. how they put themselves together.. clothing/hair/cleanliness
4. how they speak
5. the ubiquitious and undefined phenomenon that we refer to as "energy".
I'm sure that list isn't complete..
But if I meet a man and he's wearing a nascar shirt, outdated jeans, gross sneakers and his hair is a mess.. the first thing I think is here is a guy who doesn't care much about his appearance. He's not into details, he doesn't see himself as a work of art. I'm an artist. Obviously he would be somewhat potentially incompatable with me. I hate nascar and care about details.
It's not shallow.. it's not insecurity.. it's just how we are... and hopefully there is a whole lot more besides that.. but you can't downplay the importance of appearance in most cases | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 12:56:13 PM | | Torquill, you say you feel most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts...its important to feel comfortable so that we dont walk around feeling like we are in another's skin...so a nice pair of jeans...kept clean...and a good pair of shoes...kept polished or clean...and as far as the top...maybe a black plain t-shirt ...would look nice with your jackets...main thing is that it is CLEAN..and the shoes really scream at me..so if you take some time and found a really nice pair at a thrift store ( and spray some anti-fungal spray into them a few times) maybe it would be worth it...wish i lived near you sweetheart cuz i'd take you out and find you something you loved...and then to coffee...i think you are great...honesty and vulnerability turn me on. | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 12:59:55 PM | | Does patent leather boots and an Iron Maiden T shirt count? | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 1:29:13 PM | | I'd suggest a black leather trench coat. They tend to look cool and also to hang well on bigger guys. | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 2:33:21 PM | the boots sound absolutely fantastic boy!....but not with a t-shirt....its just too hard to know when i cant see...maybe worn with a black dress shirt that is not too small?..not worn Elvis style (may he rest in peace) .
but then i love anything patent leather
maybe the boots and nothing else?
that will get them following you home | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 7:02:44 PM | | How about camo pants? Their stylish AND utilitarian... and they look great with patent leather boots and Iron Maiden t-shirts... | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 10:27:55 PM | How about parachute pants and a Members Only jacket...man I miss the 80's. | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 22 | |
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Posted: 5/5/2007 11:29:27 PM | Keep sewing ladies!!! At least then you know the clothes were made in your own country | |
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Posted: 5/7/2007 2:38:54 PM | | bah! just go around naked. | |
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Posted: 5/7/2007 10:49:56 PM | Well fitting jeans in fashionable cut/style, vintage T's (or vintage look- meaningful prints are nice like you fav bands or place you've been, etc.), any shoes you like (except sneakers- save them for the gym) button up shirts- again well fitting and in flattering color (stay away from plaids) simple blazers (must fit well, here's a place to splurge) and a leather bomber (sp?) style jacket.
The trends for years in men's fashion have been in vintage or distressed fabrics. A fantastic watch (in silver) really completes a look(please no necklaces or other jewelery!)
Keeping it simple- this is the wardrobe that can keep you current looking, well groomed and comfortable at ANY age IMO | |
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ukyoss
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Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 25 | |
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Posted: 5/11/2007 9:39:34 AM | | 1 rule be yourself. If you dress ina style you hate, sure you might geta date. vut will you really be happy with someone who likes you for something you are not ??? . If a person doesnt like you for who you are why be with them ? I may look strangte to most people but im quiet happy with myself. I feel very confindent in who i am and have no problem with that. Its better just to be yourself that way it may take a lil longer to find soemone but at least they will care for you for who you are not a false image. | |
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