| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 2:33:30 PM | | I like pof because it's free. I have been exploring the online dating scene for 2 months and this is my obaervation. Unless you're photogenic, forget about it!!!!!!! Profiles are kind of worthless because they all look the same, except for a few physical features. I would rather meet people in a traditional way so our personalility and our real likes and dislikes can come thru right away, instead of a few phony words that are read online, and are used to judge a person. What's everybody's opinion? | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:20:51 PM | | What you look like doesn't really matter. If you're waiting for women to contact you though, forget about it. I agree that meeting in the real world is preferable. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:34:00 PM | I have been on the computer for many years now , i have chated in yahoo chat rooms and many other forums .. MY take on meeting a mate on here YEs it can be done I have friends who met online and some have now been married for years one for over 7 years and counting with kids l .
First off if you are meeting someone you do so on here and then take it into the real world , it is no diff than meeting someone at a bar etc , you sit get to know someone . To me meeting someone here first is better than a bar scene because you have exchanged emails or sat in pm talking for hours and get to know someone.
And im confused by you stating phony words, there are game players that use phony words BUT ya can usually figure them out after talking with them for awhile . I know myself i dont use these so called phony words . | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:36:43 PM | | Hey, World, thanks for the comments. I guess you have to accept rejections in order to find whar you are looking for. But it seems like in the online world, it's so hard to even get a chance. I've e-mail females who are my age and really would like to let my personality shine thru but it's kind of hard with just a few words. And no serious people ever writes back. I've lowered my standards and have written people who I didn't find too attractive and still have gotten no replies. I'm not a loser but I feel like one. Any thoughts from girls out there about online dating? | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:47:30 PM | | Thanks for your comments Cristi66, It's seems like online dating is for woman morethan men. Men with average looks is able to woo a women in person while online, we don't get the chance. How do the males feel out there? | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:52:26 PM | I dont agree this is where you men have the advantage , men with good personalities can win a woman over if they woo a girl good not matter their looks .
Men on the other hand are visual creatures so therefore pic's are more likely to catch a guys eye first , | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 4:05:38 PM | | Critisi, I think we're on the same page. I think we're all fix on looks first. But my point is that online, the photo is too much of a factor in deciding who to give the chance to. I'm tired of read/deleted or no response from my e-mails that I feel like if I met that person, I know my good side will win her over. I'm recently divorced so the online thing is kind of new to me and this is my observation. Personalilty is just as important as physical looks but it seems like the online thing is so shallow. More comments, please! | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 4:07:59 PM | | Echo! Echo! I agree with you both in your last posts. What it takes to get a woman's attention is very different from what it takes to catch a man's eye. An average looking guy has the advantage over an average looking woman in real life because what makes a man attractive is best demonstrated live. Online, an average woman can attract much more attention simply because she's openly broadcasting her availability in a low-risk environment more inviting to less confident guys. In the end the woman chooses, but she can only choose from those guys who approach her. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 4:09:35 PM | Oh its no more shallow than just sitting in a bar and just lookin at looks alone ...
Personaly I cant give you a thought not knowing what you said in your email . I know with me I get something like hello there want to talk and nothing more . A good email with what a guy likes to do with some wit tied in and humor most always wins a woman over to respond back . But not all guys are good at sending emails , I get ALOT of one lined emails that I dont understand why they sent them . | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 4:19:15 PM | | Critsti. my e-mails are not one liners. I'm not a shallow, conceited, careless guy. I write with good, thoughtful intentions and have been rebuffed so far. Should I give this more of a shot? | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/5/2007 4:32:19 PM | | Yes you should lke i said ive been on here ( online) for years and ive met some friends i can not vision not having in my life .. both male and female .. | |
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| Online Dating is what you make of it.
Posted: 5/8/2007 1:51:11 PM | Geeandy,
I think it's the same as RL in that you have to be able to approach people, deal with rejection (both polite and impolite), and then get back on the cow and try again.
There's no reason you should have instant success on here any more than you would in some bar somewhere...
One clear advantage of the internet thing is that you get a peek at what the other person might be looking for... and gives you a clue if you might fit that picture. You don't get that in RL until you've done the approach and managed some conversation. | |
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| Online Dating is what you make of it.
Posted: 5/9/2007 3:40:17 AM | | Since my original post, I've had better success. I guess after my recent divorce and being new to the online thing, I just expected quicker results. Simlasa, you are absolutely correct in your comments. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/10/2007 8:59:38 AM | | First off,you will find that your problem happens alot with both men and women.There are alot of people on dating sites that have no intention of ever meeting in person for two reasons mostly: They're either constantly testing to see if they can "attract" someone or they are too insecure to "follow thru". Alot of them are married as well and getting emails or interests from others strokes thier egos in some weird way.Online,I think is better to get to know someone than to try to approach a woman in a public place because no one wants to be "put on the spot" so to speak.Also,a bar is definately not a place to find a quality mate either.Most women say in thier profiles that they are not into the "bar scene"and want to meet the "real deal" so in my oppinion,public places are not only awkward,it also takes alot of time as well as money to find that" perfect someone".You also have to watch what you say not only in your profile,but your messages as well.Women are turned off by "emotionally needy men"and men who ask inappropriate questions such as sexual questions and such.I have had the most success by making them laugh like hell in my emails and a great sense of humor shows intelligence and genuine qualities and if your average looking along with a sense of humor and dont pressure them you might start having better luck.Women on these sites are always looking for "red flag" signs and men should too.Remember? This internet is the biggest public place to meet people without leaving your home and it's full of it's share of mental cases and it's better to weed these ones out online than to have to do it in person,believe me! I've met some really great women online from different states that I talk to from time to time and we both know that long distance really doesn't work well and we will probably never meet in person but we stay friendly anyway and that's not a bad thing as I see it.Also,if you think a women is truly interested in you online,give her YOUR number(dont ask for her's) and tell her to call you anytime whenever she feels comfortable enough to do so.If she does,you have a winner,if she doesn't? Refer to what I said earlier on the two reasons thing and thiers your answer and move on... good luck. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/11/2007 11:27:53 AM | It took me a long time to realize that a lot of people are just on here looking for an ego boost with no intention of meeting... or for whatever reason are NOT going to ever come out to play.
That's fine though... I'm no not really trying to meet anyone either. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:11:27 PM | Hey, I have been online for a little over a year now, with pof, flirtbox and some other forums plus online poker and have met lots of people out there....I have made some absolute wonderful friends male and female without seeing what they look like till much later...yes I believe men tend to look at the pics first and respond from that...I know cuz I use to ask what did you like in my profile, what attracted you to me, and of course no answer so I know they were just going on looks which is a shame...I always read the whole profile and comment so the man knows I did look..profiles are more what attract me and usually have gotten to know most of the ones I have contacted very well and I believe you can learn alot by messaging, emailing people..so dont give up, there is alot of jungle out there that you have to get thru to find that oasis | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 6/3/2007 5:26:31 AM | If 40+ men would stop chasing 18 yr olds they would fare quite well IMHO. Too bad the fragile ego is ever present! Don't whine about young girls disappearing; it's normal for them to see what they can get away with. What on earth will you be able to converse about..do you really want a KID????? Short term gain = long term bachelorhood. I tell it like it is; appreciate it, learn, move on. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:56:28 PM | I would say No it isn't. Just another avenue to meet people.
Online dating is more pro-active than re-active. Quality people don't just fall out of the sky. You have to put yourself out there to meet anyone. Dating or friends or whatever.
Having good pictures does help but you also need an interesting profile and have to know how to communicate well with others, know what you want, be nice and friendly and open, and not be flakey.
I've been dating from online off and on since my divorce. I have met lots of great people. It's all a numbers game. The more people you meet the better your chances are in finding someone special with rel potential.
Hints for people... don't post unflattering, blurry, or far away pics.  | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:32:27 PM | | It is what you make it. If you bring negitivity into the process you will have negitive results. Better quality pictures are as simple as soliciting a friend to help you out. In the traditional dating world you may see a group of 20 women.. Of that 20 which ones are single and looking? At least here you know that answer. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:56:05 PM | GeeAndy,
I hope things are looking up for you, with respect to online dating. In my opinion, you just have to be patient and not take any "read/deleted" messages to heart. There is no doubt that there are people who are simply testing the waters with no intentions to meet in real life. They are here primarily for their ego boost. That is fine. You just have to keep on sifting through and moving. Then there are also people who create multiple profiles. The funny thing is that they claim to be looking for someone who is not into playing games. Yet, they indulge in the very thing they are not looking for.
Instant satisfaction is not what you are going to get here. Just be patient and don't take it personally. This is a pond, so swim and avoid the sharks... :)
Just my 98 cents | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:06:17 PM | GeeAndy, it goes both ways. I've not been lucky with the online dating either. But I'm not in a hurry. And I think another thing goes both ways. I think women look at the pictures first and if they like what they see, then they go on to the profile. Every one of us have different tastes. What one woman likes another might not. I suggest you post more pictures.
I didn't realize there were people on here just to stroke their ego. Naive I guess. But now that I've heard that I feel better because I think I found at least one of those people.
Good luck on POF. | |
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tinydi
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Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 22 | |
| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:17:41 AM | I agree withgeeandy I am not impressed with on line dating. People like to play games. I have agree to meet people only to get blown off. My opinion their loss. I also belong to the singles group and I go out and market myself by meeting people the old fashion way in person.
I am sure their are good people on the site I have met a few but, so far not impressed. So where are all the good men on line in Vegas.
peace to all and happy searching | |
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| My opinion only....
Posted: 7/18/2007 2:54:09 PM | I hope my response gives other POF members a feeling of hope. I have met wonderful guys online with Match.com and learned after we established our friendships that they too are switching to POF. I met a former senator and still maintain a solid friendship. I met a prosecutor an dhe lives up th estreet from me and my little girl. He is wonderful and has 2 daughters. I met a superior court judge an dhe too has 2 daughters. He is a Christian man. All are sincere individuals who are in the same situation as me and others who work hard as a single parent, but have no real time or even desire to go searching for new friends (opposite sex) or possible romance in a BAR. I can only say that for me and based on what they have told me that the people we meet here are the same people you would meet in church, a bar, or the supermarket.
I think the most important thing women can do (since they are usually the ones who run out and get "Glamour Shots", is to be as honest as possible from the very beginning about your weight. Ask a few friends to evaluate your figure for you in confidence so that you can be real honest to prospective suitors. Men are visual, and I hear that complaint the most from men. Girls, eventually they WILL find out and it really leaves a lasting negative impression about who you are as a woman on the INSIDE. Some men like "average bodies and few extra pounds" Give it a try!
Men the best advice I can give you as a woman is to be less aggressive and quit expecting sex on a first date. If a woman wants to jump in the sack, make sure she has SAID IT. Also, for all ou men who say certain women are "stalking you...think about this. Each time you seduce a woman or allow yourself to be seduced... because you had too much to drink, you become responsibe in one way or another for whatever follows. You created your own drama by not using restraint. Treat these encounters (no matter how long you spend talking on the phone days or weeks before) as "casual meetings only" and with NO EXPECTATIONS of romance.
The reality is that there is always someone else right around the corner eager when it comes to sex. Jealousy and obsessiveness is what everyone calls drama, but it almost ALWAYS involves sex. Men and women both are guilty of it. See if you can become friends and let the rest of the chips fall where they may. Time seems to be the logical solution and a good indicator of whether or not the person is truly authentic or genuine. I think good things DO come for those who WAIT no matter where you meet them. | |
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| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:13:16 PM | geeandy:
I want to express to you that women are very good at reading individuals "state of mind" based on the narratives one includes with their photos. Men concentrate on photos and women we sort of steer a way from "non-enthusiastic" bitter men. I am not sure how your divorce began or ended but in just reading your profile and looking at one very "fuzzy" photo, you seem to be sending out a few negative vibes and failed to show anyof us women what you are all about as if we were not worth your time. You made sure to mention what you want in a woman, but how do you propose to attract her? Saying what you want is not enough. Who are you INSIDE. What do you love about your child? What do you love about life? Paint some sort of picture.
It is not always about the money a man has or does not have. It is about happiness. It is about friendships. Its about "no expectations" and making other people happy by just READING your profile. You seemed "in a hurry". I run from impatient men. I hope this does not hurt your feelings. But I thought I should be honest about my first impression. | |
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tinydi
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Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 25 | |
| Online Dating is a Farce
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:55:33 AM | Hello
I do understand what your saying and agree with you to a certain point. However, If either party agrees to meet then both parties should meet. Follow through with it Don't leave the other person hanging that is wrong and mean. Its not like were going to get married its a meeting to see if both parties are capable.
Their are some wonderful people here and some like to play games have never grown up. Peace out Di | |
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