| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:40:30 PM | | i started seeing this guy and he seemed down to earth and i thought he was cool as hell then he started tellin me i was fat and no one else would want me and then he started telling me what i could and couldnt wear and then he started hitting me all i have to say to you women who are in this type of relationship dont let him rule your life because he will take advantage of you and it will hurt.... | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:50:16 PM | | I was married to a mentally abusive prick for 7 years and finally woke up and realized what he was doing to me a few years ago. I'm just waiting for my divorce papers to come in the mail, woo hoo then I'm gonna party! | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:50:56 PM | Shelby,
What are you going to do about your situation? It's great that you want to tell others to be careful, but you need to change your life. As I'm sure you are aware - it WON'T get better but in WILL get WORSE. | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/26/2005 11:47:55 PM | Been there, done that...more than once (I'm guess I'm a sucker for punishment). When you come across a guy like that you have to recognize that it's all about him, not you....just pack and bail as fast as you can. Please don't repeat my mistakes...it's too painful.
sunbird
 | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/27/2005 7:13:15 AM | You always have the power to choose to leave. Nobody deserves such ill treatment. He told you, that you were fat and no other guy would have you... I inquire that you prove him wrong.
You are a pretty lady, so it shouldn't be too hard.
 | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/27/2005 3:43:05 PM | | Leaving isn't always as easy as some people think who've never been in that situation...as someone else here already said, "been there, done that" and I have the scars that will always be there but I got out when he threatened death to not only me but our daughter as well..that was 10 years ago...then "stupidly" 2 years ago he said he had cancer and was dying, me the "fool" believed him and all his apologies last August we split and he is completely out of my life now because his final sentence was he wished it was 10 years ago...but a good thing I suppose our daughter never forgave him or trusted him; makes me wonder will he ever realized what he lost all those years ago; his daughter | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/27/2005 7:34:59 PM | | From my experience, it takes alot of strength to leave a relationship with someone you care about whether the relationship is abusive or otherwise. Remember this, no matter how long you are together with someone, you know YOU better than he does. If he says you are fat and you know you aren't then you aren't. Just because he says it does not make it so. Listen to yourself. Yourself is saying this relationship is wrong, I am worth more than this, and Yourself would be right. you see Yourself is alot smarter than you give her credit for. There are plenty of men out there that will treat you right and love you for you.....and Yourself ;) | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/28/2005 2:25:12 AM | honey i have been there...i was abused mentally and physically since the age of five...sexually by my father and grandfather, i got married at 18 to the first guy i met to get away from my father...ended up in a marriage where i would get beaten every day, but i had kids and i stayed for 20yrs with him for the sake of my kids, please please get out of this situation while you can there are people that can help you, no woman deserves to be treated like that ...no matter what he says get help from someone...i wish you all the luck in the world you deserve better..if you need to talk email me and i will try to help as best i can  | |
|
| |
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/28/2005 6:33:19 PM | Shelby,
I hope that you are away from that situation and have friends or family for support and encouragement at the times when you need it.....leaving is the hardest thing to do but with every day that passes it does get easier and confidence comes back slowly altho certain comments seem to find a way to bury themselves deep inside, luckily for me I have a wonderful best friend who boosts my ego at times when I let the ghosts from the past come back to haunt me...
And guys just a point of reference here from someone who's been physically and mentally abused to borrow a line from Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman "...sometimes it's easier to believe the bad" when you're told constantly that you're ugly and fat and no other man would want you after time you tend to believe it and when finally away you realize that sometimes there may not have been physical abuse but the mental abuse leaves marks that noone else can see and those are the hardest wounds to heal...10 years ago when I left the first time my daughter said it best when she was only 10, "Mommy we have bruises on our hearts" | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/28/2005 6:48:37 PM | | Control freaks do not deserve deliberation. If you feel you can't leave it's probably imperative that you do. Get help, there is no shame in positive direction. | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:16:53 PM | thank you all very much for the support i very well need it my family doesnt believe me and my friends dont live close enough to know what is goin on so just thank you for all the support and i have left him and i wont be needing his scandalous ass anymore... | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:27:03 PM | Hey Shelby,
My name is Charles, I am glad that you are out of that situation. I have never written to this forum thing before nor even looked at, but your beauty did catch my I and then I read what you said, First of all I thinbk that you need to be very careful onany site like this you go to, a lot of men are scum, lets face it.They may use your vunerability for thier own gain. Second you need to realize that you Gods greatest gift to man, and in all aspects you should be treated as such. Do not settle for anything less, o.k? I wish you the best.
Charles | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:50:03 PM | | A man that tells the womanthat he says he loves that she is no good, no one would want her, she's fat, she's stupid is plain insecure and disrespectful. I often wonder why these men say this. And if they are so great why would they settle for a woman like that? Doesn't say much for them. They want to make themselves feel superior by making someone else feel smaller. | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 4/29/2005 9:35:13 PM | | Hi Vickie I am new to this site. But I had to respond to your post. I am glad you are out of that situation. You are to young and pretty to get scarred By a less that human person like that. What I want to say is that if he or someone else abuses you again is to go ahead and press charges on them, and if you have to get a restaining order. To answer foxfires question. These men can only put on an act of being cool for so long. Then thier real traits come out. They feel that they have to verbaly abuse, use scare tactics, and Beat their girl friend or wife to scare them into staying in the relationship. They know that They can't hold on to a steady relationship. Women are smarter than that now. 100 years ago when people were uneducated those tactics worked. They don't have to now, in this day and age. If you need to there are support groups for abused women that will help you out and help you understand.how to deal with this. Well thats my 2cents worth I hope it helps. | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/2/2005 10:29:07 AM | | Good to hear that you have left that excuse for a human Shelby...just keep being strong and know you're better off without someone trying to bring you down.....ya know it's too bad that men didn't come with resumes or references so that we could actually find out how they treated an ex; etc., maybe then we'd be a little safer ...altho a note to all if you have kids listen to them, they seem to have a sense of a person and if they don't like someone don't push for a reason why but pay attention and go with their intuition....one last note to Shelby even though this is only in type; here's a hug from me to you take care of you | |
|
| |
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/2/2005 11:12:44 AM |  Hello Shelby,
Hope you are doing better now,i mean have you gotten rid of him.I kind a know where you are coming from ,as a child i have experienced my father being verbally abusive to my mom and that kind of ruined the innocence of my childhood.I always wonder why beautiful intelligent women meet these kind of idiots and next time around don't jump into a relationship so fast and just test it .Test his honesty,faithfulness,temper,love,patience,
that is all a real gentleman is and only them you have found true happiness,
take care | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/2/2005 12:43:52 PM | | read most of the replies, "been there done that". what concerns me is the possibility you may let him back in. i found that keeping something that reminds me of how horrible it really was helps. the mind games are endless these predeters will play. last one was a simple bic lighter. called me a dumb **** simply because i couldn't get it to light. supported him for 4 years. told him yeah your right dumb for being here with you. then he says he didn't mean to say it out loud, like that makes it ok. still got that lighter in my car. doesn't work "light" but confirms my resolve. try not to repeat mistakes, could be worse next time. peace | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/2/2005 1:03:33 PM | Shelby I hope that all is well with you. I can't say that I know what its like to be in an abusive relationship, but my twin sister has and speaking on behalf of all siblings standing on the sidelines, it hurts us just as bad, everytime we see the break ups and swearing that this is the end, then an hour or so later gosh they are back together. It is not a good situation to be in. I pray that you find guidance and strength in letting go. Take care and I hope that things work out for you.
Deb.
| |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/16/2005 1:03:38 AM | I just do not understand these kind of abuser types...Just no selfesteem..Someone was very mean to them at one point in thier life..No wonder so many women are afraid to enter a relationhip... | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/16/2005 1:14:03 AM | red,
maybe someone was mean to them at some point in their life, but, they have the power to change how they act and treat someone else.....my ex has 3 siblings and none of them are abusive to their spouses he was the only one in his family to be this way; the really sad part was that they all knew what had been happening but no one tried to help me altho I found out years later that the reason one always came around every weekend was so that he'd know that at least on weekends I wasn't getting hit because he was there; all I have to really say about it is this, if you ever get into a relationship and feel uneasy for some unknown reason trust in that instinct and yes it's no wonder many women are afraid to enter into a relationship with someone because the end result can be dangerous and scary and the scars last a long time | |
|
| being abbused mentally and physically!!!
Posted: 5/16/2005 1:23:07 AM | | Yes I know how You feel, believe it or not I was in a abusive relationship..Not a nice place to be..I was very Young....alot of it was selfesteem.......She did not have any....I forgave her and moved on....... | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
