| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:01:09 AM | How many people will not send a message or reply to a message to somone who does not have a picture on their profile?
I just do not feel comfortable having my picture online. I have one and will share it with anyone when we chat, but I gess my question is "do I have to make myself feel uncomfortable in order to appease somone else's whim? | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:23:48 AM | I am sure that there are a lot of people who won't send a message or contact someone without a picture - hence the mail restriction that some have chosen about not accepting an e-mail from someone without a picture. And there are those that will say no to any instant message if they cannot see who is calling. I think of IM more as a bad phone call. I don't get to see the caller's face, so it's not that big a deal. And if I get an e-mail that is interesting, then i respond, picture or not. Actually, I like to think I respond to all e-mails, but I really don't. At least not right away.
Bottom line, you have to be comfortable no matter who you are dealing with or contacting. The fact that you will send a picture is a bonus. There are still those that won't. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:29:09 AM | I wouldn't message anyone w/o a pic.But I would talk to someone that message's me if they had no pic.If they don't have a private pic to send me.Then I would likely not be chatting for too long with them.
Some people don't put pic's up for safety,work etc..I wouldn't make myself uncomfortable by putting a pic up,just to get more message's.If I was you though I would expect to be making first contact.
Did any of that make any sence lol?
Sunday morning's a little slow getting going.  
EDIT:Ops I have it so that they can not contact me w/o a pic.
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:31:20 AM | Double jeopardy, isn't it? You feel uncomfortable when you do post a pic and don't get the results you want when you don't. A pic is nice, always. I am more tempted to read the profile if there's a nice mugshot but I always read the profiles even the ones without the pretty pictures. A nice pic and a profile full of spelling and grammatical mistakes or even worse anger, bitterness, misery and spite won't get me to make first contact or give a reply. Now a nice pic and a good profile - then I'm interested in finding out more about writer.
As PEIPrincess says .. making first contact with an enclosed pic is probably a good idea for you. That way you can probably fish quite comfortably. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:36:33 AM | | I work in retail and I have business cards and my picture is in ads for the store and I just don't feel comfortable having it on here... besides that - i was chatting with a guy for a while but we had never met. He knew where I worked and he came into the store one day when I wasn't there and told my co-workers that we were chatting online and he wanted to see if I looked like my online picture... so now I guess I am just paranoid... | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:43:50 AM | I can imagine it would have made you uncomfortable. Sheesh if he's able to justify invading your space before you guys had actually met, to check you out, it sounds as if his social inhibitions are a little off balance.
Clinging, obsessive, controlling come to mind as character traits.
Just laughing as well because didn't we all do similar stuff when we were like 13 or so when we had a crush on someone - before we knew better than to follow someone around like a puppy. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:52:32 AM | | When people think they own you or that they have the right to push themselves into your life, it can be really scary. Funny about getting older - we have less tolerance for people who want to change us or take over our lives or turn us into their ideal. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:07:08 AM |
he's still on this site -
So let us Sisters know who this guy is? None of us wants to run into him without prior knowledge of what he may be up to. OR..............maybe just find out where he works and do the same 'visit' thing!
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:08:33 AM | Hey Special K ! I don't 'always' have a pic up either. We all have our reasons! To be honest, I've had no problem with the number of letters I receive - with or without a pic. And while a pic might 'catch my eye' .. it is the personality that 'grabs' me.
I don't put a lot of credence in pics either, having met a few men from this site - and knowing a few local women with pics up; I have learned that pics are about as reliable as the words that 'some' type in forums or on profiles.
Some go out and get glam shots done that frankly look "nothing" like the person in real life, some use pics that are 20 years old (as if ya won't notice should you meet!) lol .. Some use pics of people from european modelling agencies!!! <<< OMG! Some are 14 and will post a pic of mom or dad to keep the Picture Police from Pestering them! lol ..
There are people who just don't post a pic. Some have privacy issues because of where they work. Some just don't like having their pic taken, not everyone is as photogenic as some "appear" to be! Some don't have a frikkin digital camera! Anyway .. if it was a necessity - it wouldn't be an option.
I've had only one issue with Men contacting me whether I have a pic posted or not. When I had my pic up - I did get lots more mail - mostly from married men and one woman! holy f**k! and the majority of those who seem to have a problem with me posting no pic are women! lmfao!!!
Anyway - Special K - Do what YOU are comfortable with. Be true to Yourself. and Remember - Opinions are like a$$holes - Everyones got one!
now .. say cheese! ;) | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:18:18 AM | Well, Dee, I hope that you didn't pay any attention to the women who had a problem with you not posting a pic. I can't imagine what their problem would be with other women not having pics up. I would have thought the less competition the better lol.
Agree with you on the point that not everyone is photogenic .. me for one, cameras hate me, I look nothing like the woman I see in the mirror in most of my photos. My daughter in law could crawl out of a tent and look like a million dollars in the photo taken as she's doing so. Life's so unfair lol  | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:24:10 AM | I think I would rather have my pic up and get some e-mails, than have a lady read my profile without the pic, start getting interested, then get my picture later and drop me 
And lalalila your pics look great!! that sleek brown coat, floppy ears - OOPS !! that's a dog 
Seriously your pics are beautiful ! | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:42:48 AM | | would you seriously be interested in someone who is only interested in what you look like though? Besides that - unlike lalallia's daughter-in-law - in pictures, I always look like I crawled out from under a tent. I guess my problem is I don't choose my friends on what they look like, I choose them for what's inside and so I guess I would rather be chosen by a "quality" few rather than the "quantity" that a picture would apparently bring on. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:58:15 AM | I don't choose my friends on what they look like,
I don't think that's what peiromantic meant.Please correct me if I am wrong peiromantic.I know I certainaly don't choose my friend's by their appearance.If your only here for friends then by all mean's no pic is necessary.But if you are looking to find a partner in crime so to speak,then I want to see what the person look's like.Has nothing to do with being shallow,if there is no chemistry then there is nothing.
I personnel have lot's of friend's making more on here is great don't get me wrong,but it's a realionship that I joined for.
Just my 2 cent's..... | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 12:08:50 PM | this is part of my profile ...
"Would prefer to meet someone in a casual friendship way and see what progresses as it is the best of both worlds - a new friend or more."
Meeting as friends takes the pressure of meeting new people too. Who knows - your friend could be the love of my life... but if are only willing to meet certain people- based on a photo - we maybe we are missing the golden opportunity to find what we are really looking for. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 12:13:55 PM | | Thanks for saying that nice thing about me PEIR. Maybe I'm my own worst critic and should accept other's opinions on my looks lol. I so wanted to grow up looking like Audrey Hepburn .. I didn't choose to be a blue-eyed blonde - although nowadays L'Oreal has more to do with the blonde than nature. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 12:42:09 PM | oh wow!! I was so in love with Audrey Hepburn!! What a role model for any woman - her sophistication, natural beauty (sigh).
But (jokes aside) don't blondes have more fun??!!
Back to the thread - I think each of us should do what feels right to them when it comes to posting a picture or not. I am sure that most realize that the lack of a picture limits the interest to their profile but there is a lot to be said for peace of mind!! | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 12:53:01 PM | peiprincess read my mind  (not an easy thing for sure!!)
as my handle indicates, I am looking for the romantic experience. One of my alltime favourite songs is from South Pacific - Some Enchanted Evening. The first verse says it all:
Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger,
you may see a stranger
Across a crowded room
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somewhere you'll see her
Again and again.
When i am in a relationship I also wanted to look across a crowded room and feel the excitement when she walks across the room or is dancing with someone else but will always be coming back to me.
For me, sight is where it begins, but friendship makes it lasting. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 2:38:39 PM | I also agree with peiprincess, a picture is a must on a dating site. Let's be honest, most of us are here hoping to meet our next great love and anything we can do to bring this happy event about is good. I think a picture is just one more thing we can do.
There are those exceptions, of course, wherin a member has valid reasons for not posting their likeness on the public side of their profile, but they probably should have some photos ready if asked by a contact to show them. I think it's ludicrous for a contact to have gone to a member's workplace just to learn if they look like a photo of themselves or what they look like at all! Stay away from that one! LOL.
I may not like what I look like, but I have a photo up for all of POF to see if they wish. It's just my preference to ensure that I'm seen at all, and by all who may check out my profile! | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/6/2007 4:08:18 PM | I have many talent's peiromantic lol 
<div class='quote'>For me sight is were it begin's,but,friendship makes it lasting
Very nice peiromantic.
Thank you lady mara you said it best.Some of our pic's don't look exacly like us.Some are better then other's.I hate the pic of me smiling with my teeth showing,but my friends say that is so me always smiling.The main pic I have up my friend's say it show's the devilish side of me.Hm not sure if that's a good thing or bad lol.
Either way those pic's were taken 2 week's ago.The other one's with-in the last year.
I think most of us look different in person.
I want a man to see what I look like before he send's me a message.Just like I would want to see a pic of them.
No spark's no fire.So to speak!!!!!!
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(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·....*-:¦:-?
Can you tell I just learned how to copy and paste today?I love it LOL. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:15:55 PM | | I know for me, I won't usually respond to someone without a picture. I will read the profile and if it interests me, I make a call. Some people forget that this is a dating site, not one for just chatting. As superficial as this sounds, I am here for what the site is intended for, to date and fine people that I am attracted to. granted, I have met alot of great people that I talk to that I am attracted to mentally, but not physically. I can't tell you how many times I have received emails saying I am superficial or a jerk because I specify in my profile that I will not respond to someone without a picture. There are reasons for that. I have been in too many conversations with people where all the chemistry is there and then I eventually see a picture and I am just not attracted to that person and feelings are hurt. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, so I state it up front. If that makes me a jerk, than so be it. I personally feel that people MAINLY don't put a pic up for 3 reasons. They don't deem themselves to be attractive and don;t want the rejection. They are very attractive and don't want to bombarded with emails. And finally, they are married. If you read my profile and see that I specify I would like a picture before I respond, than add a pic in the email, especially if security is an issue. You're going to have to send one anyway. I get really blown away when I see a comment like I can't give you one here, but I will send you one on MSN if you want to chat. Thats why I don't respond. I want to avoid uncomfortable situations. IF you know how to add a picture to MSN, its just as easy on here. Phew. My .02 worth | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/19/2007 2:43:22 PM | would you seriously be interested in someone who is only interested in what you look like though?
I don't think that's the question. Of course I want to see a picture.
I have the balls to show my face and I work in a public form.
I will answer an email without a picture as many people have one hiden to send.
Also, message # 13 asked if we would chose our friends by how they looked.
This is not a find a friend site.
Most of us have a general idea of what we are looking for in a mate.
Some people write in their profiles that they are good looking, young looking,
etc,, that may not be what I see. And what I see is what's important to me.
If they have a picture posted, so much time and energy ( stepping backwards)
can be saved.
So yes I want to see a picture. | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:23:34 AM | referring to message 5- I am not going through that again for anyone - so if that means I will remain single because I won't put a picture on here( I do have one that I send with emails), then I will remain single...
and YES - this ia a dating site BUT... do we have to be physically attracted to everyone we meet on here. WHAT IF.... I met you and although there is no chemistry (god how I hate that word), what if.... your brother, or friend,, or co-worker, or neighbour ... sorry I just finished watching "Serendipity" | |
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| Picture or no picture - that is the question
Posted: 5/21/2007 3:54:51 AM |
So yes I want to see a picture.
Chipperxo, you're so honest! It's really refreshing, as well as surprising in this day and age! I have to agree with what you say, as long as a picture is available at some point before you actually meet for the first time it's OK with me not to see one on the profile. It's just that I want to know before I meet the guy that he has one big eye in the middle of his forehead!
I read on another forum that some people are not vey careful of the pictures they send. The photo mentioned was taken in a guy's bedroom and the room was in a very messy state of disarray with the bed as yet unmade. Lots of dirty clothes strewn about, and dirty dishes here and there! I think that indicates a messy person with a messy mind. Certainly one to be avoided! So some pictures indicate more than just how the person looks, but also how the person 'lives'.
My 2 cent's worth on that subject!
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