| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:30:23 PM | I very well might be the kinkiest person on this message board as far as my sexual desires go. Let's just say that I enjoy exploring every inch, orafice, etc. of a woman's body in every way possible! There is not one part of a woman's body that I don't enjoy licking, touching, sucking etc. My last relationship lasted over 7 years, so it has been a while since I've dated. My question is this: Since only the most open-minded women would be sexually compatible with me, I'm wondering if I should mention my kinkiness in my profile when I decide to start dating again. Or should I just forget about sexual compatibility? I've been very fortunate in the past in this area, though my relationships have ended up being pretty rough.
I think it would be frustrating to be with somebody I wasn't sexually compatible with, but there are probably very few women I would be compatible with in any area! I'm pretty unique, and I think it would take a very unique woman to make me truly happy. A woman who shared my values would probably want to satisfy me just like I would want to satisfy her, so maybe that's where the answer lies. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:44:36 PM | Well,
It may be an easier outcome if you be completely honest in your profile and tell people what you like. You may just find a woman who is releaved to see that there is someone out there as kinky as she is and not afraid to hide it... or if you are worried it may scare women away, keep it to yourself and introduce it later.
Honestly though, I say, spill it.. if people get offended by it, that is just who they are and there preferences..
If your extremely kinky, fill us in on the details of how kinky you really are. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:46:45 PM | Be who you are and not who you think you should be to attract a mate.
I know from my experiences, when I meet someone who has an interesting kink or fetish I do my best to learn about WHY they are into the things they are into, and to learn about that kink/fetish as well. I have found that doing this has opened my boundaries. Doesn't mean I'm totally open to everything (I have hard limits that I will NOT cross at this point), just means I'll sit and listen to what you have to say. I think if you are patient enough, and willing to so a lot of talking and educating, I am sure you will find a partner who will come around to your way of thinking. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:51:10 PM | Or a close second
Having your sexual desires,or notation of kinks in your profile,is not really the best thing to do. You can be subtle,and say something like "I consider myself extremely passionate,and great sex to me,is just as important as great communication"...or somewhere along those lines.lol When you start talking to someone,and the conversations become more intimate,that is when you should bring "certain" things up,just to see how she feels about the subject. If she seems a little un-nerved...she's probably not the best suited for you. I've had relationships where the girl was very insecure about exploration,but after a few months things always seem to turn around The potential is there in every woman,and man for that matter.....they just have to feel comfortable enough with their partners,to experience it. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:14:15 PM | Well I would say that if you are that kinky then maybe you need to try a website for people which is more sexually/kink focused. This way you will have a better chance of knowing what the other person is into aswell. I've heard of Alt.com and adult friend finder.
I find it hard to be open about my sexuality on here. Just because I'll talk about sex and what I like most guys think that means instant sex...which it doesn't. Sex is hugely important in a relationship and I need to find someone who is just as sexual and open minded as I am.
~Kim | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:43:41 PM | I'm a pretty kinkyt gal myself. I think mentioning it in your profile is a bit much. I personally just get to know people, see if they're open-minded & drop topics to see what they're into. It's not that complicated.
Good luck | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:47:47 PM |
Msg: 1 -- I think it would be frustrating to be with somebody I wasn't sexually compatible with, but there are probably very few women I would be compatible with in any area! I'm pretty unique, and I think it would take a very unique woman to make me truly happy.
I am in the same boat. You need to decide what is more important regarding your profile. Do you want just ordinary sex or do you truly yearn and hope for compatibility? If you can be temporarily satisfied with ordinary sex, just post a vanilla profile. But, if you truly want compatibility, then put your true desires in your profile. If you do, though, be prepared for a disappointingly low volume of email. Most on this site are STRICTLY VANILLA from what I've seen.
My profile expresses only a small part of my desires. I know for a fact that if I changed it to something less demanding I would get more "bites".
For that matter, if I were less demanding in what I see in women's profiles and emailed them more, I would probably get better results as well. But a vanilla profile does nothing for me, so I don't bother someone who doesn't turn me on. There is no point.
Personally, I DEMAND that my kinks be satisfied. I REFUSE to have a relationship with a woman who can't enjoy those kinks. I have settled for too little for too long. I will have what I want or I will live alone. I won't compromise on this. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/7/2007 10:49:14 PM | Please define kinky!!! LOL
You're probably not the kinkiest person on this board, but more than likely one of the very few who are willing to discuss it openly.
I'm wondering if there is somewhat of a compromise solution, such as saying that you're into 'alternative' or 'non-traditional' things in the bedroom. I don't think that initially you'd want to get into much detail, but something vague like that might be enough to weed out those who are strictly vanilla.
Myself.. if everybody else here is 'vanilla', then I'm more like 'Tiger'. LOL I'm lucky to have a man in my life who shares these interests.
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 5:26:27 AM | Just saying that you are 'extremely passionate' probably won't get you what you want.
There are extremely passionate people who are completely satisfied with what some people refer to as 'vanilla' sex. I know I'm one, and so is my s.o.
Better say something like - interested in every variation of the sexual experience or something of that sort. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 7:10:00 AM | First, you are not the kinkiest person on this board. I think you should meet someone and after knowing that person for a little while, you may want to bring up your sexual interests in a conversation.
Putting this in your profile would be a big mistake. I think it would be a mistake for anyone to put sexual "kinkiness" in their profile. We all should be careful about what we say about ourselves in our profiles when it comes to our sexual practices and/or desires. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 8:38:00 AM | I often wrestle with this dilemma.
While sex is not the only thing in a relationship... it's very important to a healthy / happy one. Addionally if sex were not that important.. we would not even care about monogamy.
With that said, sexual behavior is like any other type ... there is a time and place for everything.... eating food, sleeping , working out... etc. I would not eat a pizza in a business meeting.
We also base attractiveness and selecting a mate based on comapatability. Music, food, animal lover, camping, city person... we go down a list of likes and dislikes with EVERY single type of behavior EXCEPT sexual behavior. Interesting huh, when that's one of the biggest things that will make or break a relationship.
I say ... be damned with social convention. If you like kink put it in your profile. It does NOT mean you're a sl u t or are loose or indescrimanent. I like pizza... doesn't mean I eat it 24/7 and that's all is on my mind!
So go for it! | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:45:59 AM | imperium, I have to disagree with you. In a lot of ways I can say convention be damned...but putting a description of your sexual desires or adding "kinkiness" as an interest can cause a profile to be deleted. I also think that there is a time and place for everything. I do believe that people should describe their "deviant" sexual behavior to a potential partner. However, it does not seem appropriate to put kinky behavior in one's profile.
You have your own set of sexual rules and way of experiencing certain sexual behaviors. I have read your profile and I do not recall you putting your kinky behavior in your profile in any way. So why would you suggest that someone else put their kinky behavior somewhere in his profile? | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:48:48 AM |
I very well might be the kinkiest person on this message board as far as my sexual desires go. Let's just say that I enjoy exploring every inch, orafice, etc. of a woman's body in every way possible! There is not one part of a woman's body that I don't enjoy licking, touching, sucking etc.
Ok, we get it! You have a butt fetish 
I agree with many of the other posters, don't mention it in your profile or you'll only attract sluts. Keep your eyes peeled for open-minded women and if the right one comes along, explore your kinky nature with her. GL  | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:50:07 AM | Well, based on your post, I'd say you're barely registering in the kinky category. You're barely out of the common and likely expected sexual acts between modern adults category.
Are you a latex fetishist? Are you a group BDSM play person? Are you a bi-sexual leather queen? Does dripping hot wax on breasts constitute foreplay for you? Do you like getting peed upon or the reverse, or even scat play? Do you wear diapers during sex? Do you have rough sex with anonymous strangers? Do you like piercing your nipples or others with needles as an act of erotic devotion? Do you have implanted fangs? Does your collection of eroticized military costumes cost more than the rest of your wardrobe? Do you have a webcam broadcasting all of your sexual play to the world? Do you like inserting baseball bats into yourself or others? Do you enjoy having your balls busted? Can you only have sex with amputees or dwarves?
That's my one minute, off the top of my head list of kinks that seem a lot more transgressive than anything you've mentioned. Anal sex? Rimming? Sex toys? Toe sucking? Please.
Cheers,
Mike (in other words, unless you're not sharing you're close to vanilla so don't sweat it) | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:57:47 AM | HRwild... I had the word KINK in my profile before I totally revamped it.... I am putting back as we speak.
Let me ask you...... at what point does one tell their date their into kink? First date? after they meet in person ? second date? after the first sexual encounter? How do you bring it up?
I can tell you that I would be pissed if I spent a lot of time meeting a woman and and getting to know her and she told me that there would be no sex until we were married. I do not plan on re-marrying.... so that'd be NEVER.
Why should I not dislose who I am? | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:43:28 AM | Gee, not only did you put the word "kink" in your profile, but you changed your name AGAIN.
I think you should discuss it after a few conversations/emails/phone calls.
How do you think extremely kinky people should handle online dating, DAMON?
Do you really think he should do what you did?
I happen to think that this is completely different from explaining one's kinky behavior.
If I say I like bondage, should I put the word "bondage" in my interests? | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:45:11 AM | nah...don't write that in your profile cause you might sound as someone looking just for sex or one-nights.I would keep that kind of info for private convos(and not in the first email,unless you ARE looking just for sex)
Let's just say that I enjoy exploring every inch, orafice, etc. of a woman's body in every way possible! There is not one part of a woman's body that I don't enjoy licking, touching, sucking etc.
So far...nothing extra kinky or shocking...A lot of women are into that too so that might not be a problem.
Unless you're hiding something else that you don't feel like sharing in the forum
(i understand)...You would be surprised,there are more kinky/freaky women out there than you think.
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:49:07 AM |
Unless you're hiding something else that you don't feel like sharing in the forum
(i understand)...You would be surprised,there are more kinky/freaky women out there than you think.
Hook me up? lol
Let's just say that I enjoy exploring every inch, orafice, etc. of a woman's body in every way possible! There is not one part of a woman's body that I don't enjoy licking, touching, sucking etc.
That sounds to me like just good love making. I'm sure women must feel very very special with you if your like that. 
Keep up the good work :) | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 12:10:13 PM | And I thought I was the kinkiest person on here... Well if not, at least "I am the worlds greatest lover". just ask my GF. It makes her sigh every time I say it. As a matter of fact, I am so good, she says I should be a legend in my own mind, and I told her I already thought of that! Now if I could just take the effort to remember her favorite color.
So it begs the questions, how far would a kinky person restrain if they were really IN LOVE WITH A NORMAL PERSON? Well, I will tell you, My current GF of two years is about the most fantastically average lover I could ask for. She isn't far out in the kink, but she isn't some frigid man hater either. Virtually none of my kinky ideas have been a big hit with her, so we laugh at them and hers.
However, if your kink is so important, and you are so obsessive about them, thats not healthy. Like an "alchoholic" who can't quit drinking. Perverted and kinky aren't the same thing.
But if you can quit anytime, and OP just wanna know how to broach the topic, then well that shouldn't be so hard. Lets say OP often likes haveing black electrical tape wrapped around the base of his scrotum with a cotton pull cord hanging out so he can "tug it as hard as he can to cum" (I have never done anything like that of course). IN a case like mine, (I mean that one), OP had better start off slower with the more normal "fetishes" like silk blindfolds and handcuffs, even Christian ladies like that!
Dude, here is one of the kinkiest things you can do that turns a woman on: try and remember some of the little things in life she tells you are important or interesting TO HER. Then, you can tell her how kinky you are. | |
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