| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:21:44 AM | I don't know how many of you have looked at my profile but I put down Clown as my profession.
Anyway I got a mail of a local female asking me if I was a real clown because she wants to hire one for her daughters birthday party and asked me to get in touch.
I also got one asking me if I was a vicar,don't know where they got that one from. 
So whats the funniest first contact message you have recieved and did you reply? | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:24:23 AM | He said............
Hello, I've looked at your profile and think you are cute. How about getting to know each other. And if I mess you around in any way, you have my permission to give me a kick up the b@llocks.
I thought that was hilarious  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:24:43 AM | how come i don't get funny ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just get "funny" people "insane"
not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:26:48 AM | You should go! Make some money
Funniest I got was from a crossdresser who told me I was his type! Nothing against crossdressers at all but I was gobsmacked he was emailing me! Hell I hope he didn't think I WAS a crossdresser!!!!!!!!!
Not to say he wasn't completely sweet but I'd rather not date someone that wears a dress better than me! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:26:52 AM |
Anyway I got a mail of a local female asking me if I was a real clown because she wants to hire one for her daughters birthday party and asked me to get in touch. lol
i just got one saying ..... "i love you" ...
replies in progress ....  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:31:22 AM | I got one that asked just how fat I was.
My reply:
How fat would you like me to be?
Kind regards
Uncle Book. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:33:51 AM | Haven't really had any. Sent a few out though
Messaged one woman who wanted a date in a public. So i said what about a toilet. I think they call it cottaging, sounds quite posh. ....She blocked me pmsl
Another woman only had skimpy undergarments on. i suggested that she put some clothes on and turned the heating down 2 degrees. How much it would save in green house gases. Also how much a year she would save on her electricity bill. I even broke it down into a daily saving which I had worked out on the calculater, just incase she tried to catch me out.......she thanked me for the advice.
As luck would have it someone else had their pic taken infront of a washing line!!!! Same line as mine too. So I had to tell her how amazing it was and did she buy it from Focus DIY......she said if she didn't know better she would have called me a stupid twat but was curious now.
I did message someone else and say that originally I was just going to rip the pi$$ out of her but she looked to lovely for that. ..........been talking to her longer than anyone.
I used to love taking the pi$$ out of people after intimate encounters lol | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:38:09 AM | 25 year old male..
I know I am probably to young for you to date, but if not, do you fancy adopting me instead..
As if I havent enough with the two I already have.. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:39:34 AM | | I had a message form a woman and her husband who wanted me to join them on their yacht in the South of France.... I kindly reclined... I also had two from this same chap who in no uncertain terms was telling me what he wanted me to do to him and him to me... I have not lead a sheltered life but believe me this one shocked me !!!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:42:30 AM | | I had a first contact message from a 23 year old man who , having seen on my profile that I teach , asked if I would consider helping him with his English and Maths as he failed miserably at school . He then went onto ask if I taught sex as he was looking to improve his oral technique | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:49:05 AM | Just pervy ones like 'what are you wearing'
Can never understand that. I could be wearing Bridget Jones big pants or something really gross. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:50:34 AM | Well this profile pic keeps popping up above my intray messages...............
I mean it is one of the suggestive type.....She must be a good 6 stone overweight. Low cut top on, squeezing her cleevage together with her flabby arms and is sucking her fingers..... Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww please madam I just think to myself.. Bet you wish that was a chocolate eclaire.
I mean she deserves to be told that too pmsl | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:53:09 AM | ^^^^^^^ maybe she just finished her eclair and was sucking her fingers clean..nothing suggestive just choc bliss aftermath glee...you just have a filthy mind! ;)
"marry me"
"I love you"
" do you spit or swallow"
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:56:53 AM | Oh god the marry me, i love you, do you spit or swallow was an example of messages i recieved not questions directed at kinkycommando btw!  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:59:44 AM | | not had any... but have sent to friends in england saying im from another country would they help me get a green card into england the replies were as good as what i sent .. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:01:42 PM | "hi there i eat to much cake today so luckely i found a toilet in the forest it even had fresh paper for me to use."
accompanied by a photo of him sat in a portoloo in a field with two greyhounds... | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:04:09 PM | Sprite! I have had the messages that say.....what are you wearing/ bet you look real hot etc
sorry to spoil your illusion but I'm usually here in dressing gown, just got out of bath, hair scraped back & loads of anti wrinkle cream slapped on my face looking like Casper the Ghost
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:05:42 PM | I got one once just saying
"I want to tke your knickers off with my teeth, if you are interested get in touch, looking forward to your reply"
I of course replied stating "your a damn perv! you dirty old man!!!!" and I blocked him!!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:42:05 PM | | not sure if it was funny really, someone recently asked me if i was the woman who had given them a good seeing to the night before, with a strap on!! it was the first and i hope last message like that ! i asked if they were concious when it happened lol dirty s-d! | |
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Naisy
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Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 21 | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:58:44 PM | | Someone sent me one the other day saying "I ONLY wanted to say Pob rocks" (exactly how it was written)... | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:48:52 PM | I got an I love you today, I hate the ones that just have an emoticon no words.
message 9 if they are both fit pass them on to me i could do with a free holiday! | |
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