| "Chemistry"! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 8:44:33 AM | Hello ladies!
To begin with,this is NOT a boo hoo,poor me,no one writes to me,lets slam the women question.Thanks to you,I'm having the TIME of MY LIFE here! 
I know what chemistry is for me.I know how it feels.What I am curious about is how it feels when it happens to you? Is it a combination of the physical and emotional or just one thing?Can chemistry develope over time or must it be an instant thing where ,after only one date,you make the choice to either move on or stay? etc.
Any thoughts that you may wish to share with me would be greatly appreciated.
Corazon tierno*The Tender Heart
PS: "Why would he ask this?"you may be saying to yourself.Honestly,one BEAUTIFULL woman has caused me to go into "Chemistry Overload Mode".  | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 9:30:31 AM | Well, if I said it once, I've said this a hundred times.... Chemistry. Know what it is. It’s like a smoothie. It’s part lust, part intimacy, part affection, part love, part intellectual intercourse & a bunch of other crazy concoctions that we’ll never really know.
I get turned off when someone is overloaded on trying to so-called "find" it because to me it says they're really not looking for true chemistry but mutual LUST.
And the true Chemistry Connoisseur knows the coolest part of chemistry is the 'bunch of other crazy conconctions that we'll never really know' part. I've had chemistry with people on an intellectual level only. Some people, a physical level only. If you're truly looking for the real deal then you'll be patient & find out if you have it on ALL levels. So yes, some parts/levels of Chemistry DO develop over time. How else do you get great cheeses & wines? Duh!!!  | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 10:29:38 AM | I concur with Leafs.
If anything, all I'd add is that the way I know I'm feeling that lovely mix of true chemistry is when I get that happy feeling when I mentally go over (or re-live) an evening spent together (which, believe it or not, some people do).
Maria XOXO | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 11:57:13 AM | People would do well to read Dharma's explanation of chemistry. What's sometimes flummoxed me sometimes is when you think you have chemistry with a person and they don't concur. I guess chemistry to some people is a one-dimensional thing (read hot, lusty, sex), while to the cognoscenti (read the rest of us) its a multi-layered, multi-faceted meshing of mind, body and soul.
Also, I feel like chemistry doesn't necessarily have to be long lived. Like so many chemical reactions, it can fizzle out. Not going to get into whether it was true chemistry in the first place if that happens. | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 8:01:47 PM | Thank you very much dharmaf for your reply.I am in full agreement with what you wrote .The only appology that I will make is for my poor choice of words (chemistry overload) and a lack of clarity in my closing PS line.
I am not ,nor was I ever one to "try and find it" and only be satisfied with nothing but pure lust.
Your analogy of chemistry being like a smoothie is excellent and it is the only kind of chemistry that I have experienced in life.
I was not looking to get a solid,etched in stone definition of the word.Rather,I only wished to see if there were poeple whose thoughts/beliefs harmonize with mine at all.
I belive Jaman has hit the proverbial nail on the head.
I am not in chemistry overload .I am just flummoxed from time to time.
{"What's sometimes flummoxed me sometimes is when you think you have chemistry with a person and they don't concur. "Jaman}
My thanks to you,dharmaf and all who contributed | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 8:27:06 AM | You are right, looking at chemistry from a human point of view will leave you not knowing alot of things about chemistry.
If you are someone that sees that all things physical and non physical are goverened by a greater law called Love then all things are knowable and all mysteries can be revealed. But you have to step beyound the typical human approach to reality.
All the things that have to do with chemistry exist in time and in order to understand the dynamics of things in time you have to step into an aspect of reality that doesnt exist in time.
In doing this you will begin to discover unconditional Love, Selflessness and an understanding of yourself and others that surpasses what you have previously known.
One thing that i discovered is that all virtues exist within the reality or the experience we call Love, In discovering this we begin to experience reality in a way that is far greater then chemistry.
It may seem boring , but once you begin mysteries are revealed along with your potential and then time is not a factor.
For instance maturity does not come with age, which would make it a product of time, Maturity comes with awareness,which can happen at any moment, there is more to who we then what might govern wine and cheese, but your message did have some good points. Thanks | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:29:26 AM | Good question. I dont know about that chemistry stuff though. You can be the nicest, nicest looking guy in the world, but if sparks dont fly when a woman is around you in some way, half the time, those females will just write you off totally. Occasionally they might come around and be receptive to good game, but it just depends.
If you are a male and you dont know how to create "chemistry" feelings in a female, you are basically @ss out. That whole "just be yourself and somebody will come along" garbage is just some junk people tell others when they dont want to spend too much time telling them otherwise. | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:46:13 AM | Dharma said it very well!
As for the other part, I usually know right away. Physical within the first 10 seconds, and to a point with intellectual chemistry by the first date (can also be helped along by getting to know them online).
For me, it's hard to 'create' chemistry if there was none (and I mean zero) to start with. Doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though! | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:37:16 PM | A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected. | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:53:05 PM | Chemistry is just a synonym for attraction** or attachment. There's nothing else to it.
Attraction chemistry
Love chemistry
There is much mystery and confusion surrounding the word; it's a wonder why it was used in this context in the first place.
Personally I think that it's a word invented by women, so they can comfortably avoid turning around to a guy and saying "I'm sorry, but I'm not attracted to you", no no no, instead it's, "I'm sorry, but there's just no chemistry".
** Attraction includes, but is not limited to physical attractiveness.
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:15:11 PM | | Obviously you know what it is, you are experiencing it. So why are you asking about it in the forums? You should be putting your effort int making that special lady yours! | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:41:24 PM | To me I think chemistry occurs when you connect on several levels. If I meet someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation, knows how to make me laugh, has a nice smile and enjoys some of the same things that I do...........VOILA, CHEMISTRY!! (It helps if he has a nice "package" too )
Good luck with this lady Tender Heart! | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:43:43 PM | I think women have a mental line drawn on the basic physical, mental, and emotional attractiveness they would need to pursue something more with a man. For example, I may find a man intellectually stimulating, but won't pursue it further if he doesn't meet my basic physical attractiveness requirements (sounds bad, I know, but I'm being honest). HOWEVER, if a man clicks with me emotionally and/or our personalities just sync well, I am much more forgiving on looks, but not much.
I don't know if that helps you, but, my opinion... | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:18:36 AM |
Chemistry is just a synonym for attraction** or attachment. There's nothing else to it.
Attraction chemistry
Love chemistry
There is much mystery and confusion surrounding the word; it's a wonder why it was used in this context in the first place.
Personally I think that it's a word invented by women, so they can comfortably avoid turning around to a guy and saying "I'm sorry, but I'm not attracted to you", no no no, instead it's, "I'm sorry, but there's just no chemistry".
** Attraction includes, but is not limited to physical attractiveness.
I tend to agree with the above.
Chemistry is what you say when you feel 'that certain attraction' for someone but you don't know & understand your own feelings and desires well enough to know why you feel it. Or alternatively when you do, but you wish to choose a convenient word which saves having to explain any of it.
People would be a lot better at dating if they knew what caused them to feel this way, and took this into consideration when they're seeing someone. Instead, the presence of 'chemistry' is often treated as a magical green light signalling that this person is special - as such, flaws are overlooked and the sunny side of the potential partner is all that is seen. Unsurprisingly, the person often turns out to be not-quite-so-perfect, but it's rarely seen before there has already been a lot of emotional investment... | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:22:18 AM |
ahhh sparda my forum friend, we meet again... Chemistry cannot be created between two people. It's an indescribable feeling of intense attraction ~ it's either there or it's not.
Yes it can. Almost the entire community of male dating/relationship/seduction advice is based around this concept, for the simple reason that if a woman feels that chemistry (and you never TRULY know if the guy feels it too), then the guy can get away with murder. If that stuff really didn't work, it would have died off long ago. | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:22:34 AM | Its both, and you can't wait to see them. You smile when you think of them. It can happen for any reason, depending on what someone don't have in there life , and needs.
Just because someone feels it don't mean they will act on it. That is something most men never learn about a girl. There for no one really knows the min it happens. It creeps up on you, sort of speak. | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:47:06 AM | | It's not something you get from looking at pictures on the internet. You have to actually meet people to find out if you have chemistry. Of course chemistry is now code-talk for physically attractive so there you go? | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:05:15 AM | | MSG 15 is right on. I think on both sides(speaking about POF), there is too much window shopping and belief that their words are "them". So people fool themselves into believing there is chemistry and are shocked offended when the other person is not feeling it. | |
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| Chemistry, Science, and Supernaturalism
Posted: 6/12/2007 12:00:58 PM | There is way too much ignorance and supernaturalism/superstition going on here.
First of all, ANYTHING that we as humans can't 'know' is either:
Supernatural/Religious/Superstitious
Incredibly complicated, such as the mystery of where the universe came from
Any body that thinks that the world around them can't be understood is incredibly ignorant. Medical and social sciences have come amazingly far in the last 150 years or so. The reasons behind attraction or 'chemistry' are actually largely understood already. To me, people who speak otherwise are like people who still believe that the earth is flat or that the sun revolves around the earth.
If one was to educate one's self in certain aspects of the following disciplines:
Evolutionary theory
Evolutionary psychology/biology
Genetics
Biology
Psychology
Anthropology
Animal sociology/psychology
'Social Dynamics'
One would have a very clear image of what causes 'chemistry', so it is far from too complicated to understand.
The biggest enemy in making others realise what causes 'chemistry', isn't the knowledge, but people’s inability to believe. There are some things that no matter how much evidence you show to someone, they just can't accept the truth. People don’t want to hear that there are 'shallow' reasons behind what they find attractive and shallow reasons behind why others are attracted to them. They don't want to hear that if some guy was told how to act and what to say by someone in the know, that she would have felt 'chemistry' for him, whereas left on his own to be himself there would have been none. They don't wont to accept the true value of physical appearance, voice, smell, height, weight, power, money, breast size, penis size, fame, or popularity. Lets face it no one likes biological pre-determinism.
Social conditioning has caused people to deny what they truly are; yet their true behaviour comes out, time and time again. Actions not words, people. Ever wonder why there are so many 'nice guy', 'fat', 'short', ‘tall’, 'looks', 'personality', and 'chemistry' threads? | |
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| Chemistry! Would you share your thoughts about it?
Posted: 6/12/2007 12:58:50 PM |
cg5000:
Chemistry occurs when heart and mind are equally
attracted to a man and that is reciprocated.
So now chemistry only occurs when there’s mutual attraction?
I think that there is lots of evidence in the form of millions of broken hearts to the contrary. | |
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