| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 11:55:54 AM | I've always gravitated towards the skinnier women, and I feel bad, but I'm just not attracted to women who are....bigger? I wish that I could say that I look past looks for their personality, but every girl I've dated has been fairly tiny around the waist. Usually a few inches taller than me, but I've always been able to pick up my gf without much struggle at all. Is it wrong to only go for girls that fit a somewhat specific body type? I mean, I'm not really into boobs, I actually prefer smaller ones if given the choice, but I'm not really the type to be like, oh your boobs are too big so I can't date you.....I'm not too big on physical characteristics, besides overall size. Although, when a chick's hip bones stick out just slightly.....god that's sexy. Maybe I'm just a product of the media? I really do love that though...And collar bones, I can't forget collar bones.
I did date a chick that was heavier, when I was 19 or so. She was really fun to hang out with, and we had a great time, but there was always just something missing. That, and we lived together for like a year or so, and things were alright, but I was never really attracted to her. I feel terrible saying that, but I did give it a shot. I eventually ended up leaving her one day, for some 5'1 size 2 blonde I met at work. Of course, she dumped me for a girl much more manlier than I, and karma does have a way of working everything out in the end, cause that manly chick threw her down the stairs and broke her arm. Karma's funny sometimes.
Annnnyway.. I've sworn off dating for a while, but when I was actively dating chicks, I always blew off the ones that didn't fit the "type" that I was looking for, and I feel kinda bad that I did that, but if there's no physical attraction, how can a relationship form from that. I dunno, I just wanted you guys' opinion on this....Am I being an ***hole? And how do you guys feel about it, would you date a chick that you weren't really attracted to? Because when I decide to come out of hiding (if ever lol), I want to be absolutely attracted to the girl, mentally physically yadda yadda... I've had many shallow relationships, and while they're fun and time consuming, they're not enough. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:12:42 PM | | Don't feel bad about that. It's your right to have your own preferences about dating. Now I gravitate towards full-figured women. Nothing wrong with that. Believe me, there are women out there who are just as finicky. They just don't like to admit it or use another excuse not to give us guys a chance. In fact, many women here just glance at the photo in the window, and if it's not what they have in their heads as attractive, they close the window, without even saying hi. They don't bother to be civil. That's only some women, mind you. Many are very nice. But they discriminate with other factors such as age, height and distance from their location. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:30:09 PM | Yeah, I hear ya. My thing is short guys. If you're the size of a toddler, move on. I don't want to have to look down on you or not be able to wear anything but flats ever again. I'm sure there are some really nice midget men out there, but I just can't get past the fact that they're too short to ride the cool roller coasters.
I guess everyone has their prefrences. 
NEXT.... | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:36:16 PM | I don't think you are judging women based on their weight, you just have a certain type you are attracted to. That is human nature.
Lots of women are only attracted to men who are 5'10" or taller, and there is nothing wrong with that, either. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:42:33 PM | height, race, weight, religion.... ummmm.... gender I guess....
all your preferences, and you shouldn't feel bad for what you are attracted to.
I used to get flack for saying what age I was looking for..... like it was wrong! It's just crazy people who don't fit into what you want who have the objection. Too bad for them!  | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:49:38 PM |
i would so date a midget!
But most midgets are overweight.
Seriously though, I think there is a difference between you just not being attracted to bigger women and you being just downright cruel just because they're bigger than you like. And I think you are the former, not the latter. Just stay that way, and don't be a d!ck about it. Remember that by societies standards, you are short for a man. - It's kind of the same thing. It's one thing to not be attracted, it's another to be an assh0le about it. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:56:55 PM | Interesting bit about the girl who left you for a manlier girl....
Anyway, we can't help finding certain attributes attractive, I guess. There are some people I've met along the way who were just wonderful all around but I just didn't find them physically appealing. You kind of can't help that part.
I'm sure some of it is societal influence. Some of it is just the way you're wired up. Some guys just love butts. Some girls just love broad shoulders. It's kind of plugged into your brain at an early age, I think.
One thing I've found unappealing my whole life is the emaciated stick-insect body. Some guys are just built that way and some become that way because they're triatheletes or long-distance runners and just can't keep an ounce of fat on their bodies. I just don't like it. I've also always found blonde guys less attractive than dark-haired guys. Can't help it. It's something that's in my psychological makeup. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:42:08 PM | I dont... for some it's genetics, others by choice...
There are people who are into anything and everything.
Just because someone isn't right for me doesnt mean they aren't right for someone else.
besides.. everything i may think about someone else... likely someone thinks about me..
Life has a funny way of balancing stuff like that out. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:48:05 PM | Thats cool. Some guys don't like bigger woman.
Some girls don't like guys to be under 6'. Even 5'10" would be pushing it. 
I think alot of girls like the man to be bigger then they are anyway, so don't worry. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:28:36 PM | I'm with you OP. I know what you mean - I feel badly for rejecting women because of their weight. But it's simply what I'm attracted to. Yes - perhaps it is a product of society and the media (mainly advertising)... but that doesn't change how we feel.
Don't lower your standards because you "feel bad", or you'll just waste your time and potentially break the heart of a very nice girl. It's not shallow - it's preference. Just like I also prefer my women to be younger than myself, etc. | |
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:32:38 PM | I don't "judge" them , I just don't get aroused by flab. Why should I feel bad about that anymore than not liking liver or country music ? It's a preference, that's all.
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:43:11 PM | | OP: What is the point of your post? Is it to have everyone tell you it's okay to be attracted to whomever you want? Is that it? Who gives a Rat's A$$ who, or what, turns you on. Go with what you like, and stop looking for affirmation from other people telling you it's okay. | |
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Dug01
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Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:00:05 PM | OP, in all honesty I have to agree with ttawny in "What is the point of your post?." With all the I's in there it really is about you and since you asked only the "guys" it's off topic to the Relationship forum. It should have been placed in the Ask A Guy forum.
Well at least it is not another ... are guy >>>>>>> INTIMIDATED thread 
I agree, at least that's a plus.
Dug01 | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:09:01 PM | Darn...gotta get back on that frickin' exercise bike...blech...(puff)...sheesh...this. (wheez) is. hard. (puff) work...........ahhhhhh (slurp)....ok...just gotta (puff) get rid of (gack) another 3 inches......omg.: (I don't think I've seem my hip bones since 1993)....(wheez).....gads, and can't feel my collar bones ANYWHERE (cough cough) | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:12:39 PM |
Remember that by societies standards, you are short for a man. - It's kind of the same thing. It's one thing to not be attracted, it's another to be an assh0le about it.
Statistically 5'8"-5'10"ish is the average height for a white male in the U.S.
Anyway, OP, there's nothing wrong with it. We all have our preferences, and I doubt anyone's going to hold it against you for not dating people you don't find attractive. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:22:59 PM | your not being an ahole, you just like what you like... maybe you need to find a female you are attracted to that has a little more substance than most others... ya know?
i dont like skinny dudes... its just my own thing... i have dated a few, and i just dont like all those damn bones every f-n where *lol*, plus i am thick a** chick... so i just dont think meh with a skinny guy is cool... i might break him 
to each his own, you know what the problems have been before in your relationships, now work on incorporating other characteristics you find attractive in a mate with someone oyu are physically attracted to :)
good luck :) | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:30:53 PM | I'm a bigger girl myself, call me fat, call me bbw, call me overweight, take your pick. I see nothing wrong with someone saying "look, I just find skinny women attractive..I'm not attracted physically to a larger woman". There is a thing called preference that everyone is entitled too, and I'm a firm beleiver that physical attraction is an important part of a long and healthy relationship. Now, whether that attraction is immediate, or grows, that's another topic. What I have a problem with (and you didn't do this in your post, just making a general statement) is when someone despises fat people for being fat. When hate is attached to your "preference", than it becomes a whole other ball game. But to simply say "I'm attracted to a girl with a narrow waist and small breasts", there isn't one thing wrong with that.
Having said that, these threads always turn into fat bashing session and I'm sure about 3..4..or 5 specific people will come in any minute and start just that, so I'm outta here.
SideNote: OP if you feel bad about judging people by their weight, maybe you should re-examine exactly how you are judging them. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 4:16:14 PM | Yeah, we all have preferences. For every man who likes skinny women there's another who likes bigger women.
As long as you're not thinking lowly of bigger women in general (as in, "That fat pig needs to get off the couch and stop being such a lazy slob" or such crap) I wouldn't worry about it. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 4:18:01 PM | Right:
I WOULD NOT date/marry/kiss/talk/tough/touch this...........
anything that breathes...............
JUST IN CASE: Love........................................... | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 4:26:53 PM | i am what you would call a lil over weight......and i have must say ...y judge ppl for what they look like....go for what's in the inside....you can find a person that you like on the out side...but if they don't match you on the in side they become less attractive as you go along....i know lots of guy who go for the " barbie" /"plastic" type and love them at first...then find out that they hate doing things....bc they might get dirty..it's sick...then they get rid of them....and try again...it's a bad cycle... i say meet some one that matches your personality.....who cares what they look like...just so long as the feelings r there... i know with me...most guys can't believe that i am into alot of sports...and that i like to get out and play them...i am just as active as the next person....but i have a problem loosing weight....my body will replace it with muscle and it still looks like i am heavy...when in fact i am not... thems the joys of body types..  | |
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