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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a      Home login  
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 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 1
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Why do some men find women with brains so intimidating? Some guys actually refuse to date a woman that they think might be smarter than them. They let their over inflated ego get in the way of meeting some really intelligent and confident women.

Which to me is very funny because most women are smarter than the average man. which might explain why so many of us guys are still single.

Under these circumstances i wonder if it would be better for intelligent women to play dumb when they meet one of these morons?

Would any intelligent woman ever do this, act less smart than they really are, just to stroke some guys ego.

Intelligence to me is a very attractive trait in a woman, honestly the outside might be what first attracts me to a woman, but it's what's inside her head that's going to keep me attracted.

Beauty without brain to me is like summer without sunshine.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 2
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:26:21 PM
The only time I play dumb is when I am about to get a speeding ticket or for breaking some rule I knew about.. "oh, I didn't realize... "

Seems to work quite well, lol..

I don't think women are smarter than the average man.. maybe there are just different intelligences at play..
 Anabolic
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 3
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:43:31 PM
WHAT IS DEFINITION OF THE AVERAGE MAN?

The average person is not all that smart and has an IQ of about 110 when measured by general knowledge IQ tests. The measurement can be elevated by reading more and expanding ones field of interest.
 Nightcowboy
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 4
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:44:02 PM
I don't think its ever been that men are "intimidated" by smart or feminist women we just don't want women like that.We all want to feel wanted or needed and if the woman doesn't need you then how do you think it would make a man feel? If men wanted smart women and women today are the most educated in history wouldn't the marriage rate reflect it? its a fact the more educated a woman is or the higher up the ladder she is career wise the less likely she'd be married or have kids. To me a " smart" woman would be like my sweet ole mom.She knew alot more then we thought,what was going on,what the truth was etc but she let my dad THINK he was the boss who knew better that way he could feel like a man.He brought home the bacon but she ran the house.She'd stand by him even when he was wrong and she knew better.God I'd kill for a woman like that today.Want to impress a man? forget trying to be one.Don't talk of your education,job,money etc tell him how loyal,loving,compassionate and faithful you can be.Show him how good in bed,how understanding and forgiving you are ,I guarentee that will score you major points.
 twdfish
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 5
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:46:19 PM
How can MOST women be smarter than the average man? If this was true, wouldn't they be making more money? be in better positions at work ? own more company's?be a president?etc.etc.
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 6
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:47:08 PM
I speak two languages and have an IQ of 180. I dont mind smart women.

Its the dumb ones that bug me.
 KitsKitten
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 7
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:48:07 PM
I don't understand the question.....giggle,giggle
Let's see if that works...:)


Under these circumstances i wonder if it would be better for intelligent women to play dumb when they meet one of these morons?


The question is, why would I want one of those morons?
Unless he's super hot!

KK
 euromaverick
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 8
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/11/2007 11:33:35 PM
Feel your pain,brother.The questions,and answers are quite complex.I do get why an average guy would not want to date a very bright woman.For starters he would feel very stupid and I don't see people running to sign up to that list.If there is a huge intellectual gap,it would not work in a long run.I have seen smart women date dumb and dumber,interestingly enough, every one of them were better then avarage looking,and well built,most of them were also the macho type,need I say more?

Women actually forced to play dumb or not so bright in many areas of life.Corporate world,in most cases have little tolerance for new comer, movers and shakers.Especially if it's a woman.Status quo will help them understand about being not so smart is the best.

Being pretty, will get women special treatment,being smart will get them cold shoulders,just start to ask too many questions when you are getting your car repaired.


Most women are smarter than average men?Hardly,at least not where I am from.I do know a few guys who are MESA material,including myself,I don't actually know any women who are.So,it is not as common as you may think.I never said that there are none.
Intelligence to me is a very attractive trait in a woman, honestly the outside might be what first attracts me to a woman, but it's what's inside her head that's going to keep me attracted
I do feel the same way,so,my question is where are they hiding?I read a lot of profiles,but in the city I live in,they seem to be short supply,or try to hide their smarts.

The bigger question seems to be are they interested at all to date smart guys,or some other factors seems to be more important?
 Undercover Angel
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 9
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 12:12:24 AM
haha...it's does pay to dumb down sometimes, I do it on occassion but not to get a guy

I find it annoying to date someone who thinks they are smarter than me and I would think it would be the same for anyone, male or female. Intelligence is important if you want to have a good relationship, but it also comes in many guises. We all have our gifts, it all depends on which of those you appreciate in one another.
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 10
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 1:05:56 AM
I firmly believe that women are smarter than me, put i also think they are smart enough to know it and have no need to prove it all the time.

I also think that men have bigger egos than women, so it stands to reason that a woman would be totally ok with the guy thinking he is smarter. Women have alot of practice dumbing down.
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 11
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 1:37:33 AM

Why do some men find women with brains so intimidating? Some guys actually refuse to date a woman that they think might be smarter than them. They let their over inflated ego get in the way of meeting some really intelligent and confident women.

I've never met a man like that. I don't think it could be common. Lots of men who aren't as "smart" as I am have wanted to date me.

I firmly believe that women are smarter than me, put i also think they are smart enough to know it and have no need to prove it all the time.

This makes no sense at all. There are six billion-plus of us on the planet. Both you and I and anyone else reading this thread are statistically likely to be much, much smarter than millions of women (and men), and much less smart than millions more. You know this.
 Cardiologist
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 12
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 3:13:11 AM
Are you not taking medication for your ADHD?

"Intelligence to me is a very attractive trait in a woman, honestly the outside might be what first attracts me to a woman, but it's what's inside her head that's going to keep me attracted. " = Contradiction
 charlie_girl
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 13
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 3:44:20 AM
Playing dumb is fun if it is in response to an obvious bulk email from a guy who thinks he is God's gift and is being clever by addressing dozens of women with the same mail. You know: the "cut and paste" type.
Does this type really think we women can't see through his guise?
All he really is, is, stupid and lazy.

To your "might get a man that way"... my response is why would I want a man I have to dumb-down to? Frankly, I personally don't know of any bright woman who needs a man in her life that badly. I don't pretend to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I sure am not the dullest!
 coffeeandbooks
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 14
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:03:41 AM
Well one thing relationship gurus like to tell men, is to just go ahead and admit they are wrong, even if they don't know what they're wrong about....to just let your woman always be right b/c otherwise you're going to be in the argument forever...Plenty of men who are smarter than the woman they're with AND right about something, but just backed down because they learned the hard way it's easier than pressing the issue.

I think the person who posted this and said "all women are smarter than men" probably knows this technique and has employed it here! Pretty smart guy! He figures this is probably what a lot of women want to hear.....on the other hand......maybe he really believes that....I'd have to say that there are a ton of women who are smarter than the man they're with, but they have also been to the relationship guru and been told the following...."Never let your man think you know more than him. He needs to be the man".....Plenty of smart women have used this technique and made it work for them.

Bottom line...we're all smart or have potential. Unfortunately even the smartest people on earth still make bad decisions in love. I think there should be different IQ scores for academic intelligence vs. romantic intelligence.....I think some of the smartest people in the world have been brought down by their bad decisions in love!
 deep-sky
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 15
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:30:17 AM
I am put off by the "might be able to get a man" part of that.

Honey, I can get a man, that's not the point. The point is in finding a compatible man with whom you would want to invest your time and energy into. For me, that would not be someone who's ego I have to constantly stroke by "dumbing down". It's one thing to make your partner feel good about themselves, and vice versa, it's quite another to pretend to be something your not just to get with someone. That seems to be a big enough problem on these dating sites as it is.

I would hope to find a partner that appreciates me for who I am, intelligence and all, or lack thereof, whatever the case may be.
 whenyer_strange
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 16
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:35:59 AM
A person who needs to prove they're smart or make sure everyone knows it either has self-esteem issues or really isn't that smart. A lot of really dumb people think they're really smart.

Putting the person you're with down based on either looks or intelligence is not a smart thing to do (and see first sentence again). Complimenting the other person is good, but one shouldn't have to act dumb or put themselves down in the process.
 mimosa
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 17
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:36:39 AM
We've been doing that for centuries, nothing new. I'll venture to say that maybe it's not so much intelligence that is the problem but having someone making sure you don't forget how smart they are.
People who are very intelligent are usually quite modest and reserved. They don't need to brag. Wouldn't you agree?
 roxandroll
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 18
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:41:22 AM
This is the best forum I have seen here. Intelligence an issue regarding dating. Who'd a thunk. I've taken the IQ tests: I'm an intelligent girl. I do not act less intelligent to get a guy but I am new to this dating thing. The nerves: they play a role and when I first meet a person it may appear that I am not as intelligent as I am. I am hoping to meet someone who has intelligence and can carry on a conversation. Acting less intelligent won't help me there, and I don't understand why a person would convey anything other than their true self on a site like this. If you REALLY want to meet someone and have it last, wouldn't you be your true self?
 Nick Thinker
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 19
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:42:41 AM
I think that men and women are "smart" in somewhat different ways. Eg women tend to be better on average at multi-tasking or using the right side of the brain or have more connections between the left and right sides of the brain. Women eg tend to be better at admin jobs and keeping things tidy be it at home or work. They also tend to be more extroverted with the emotions.

These are not intimidating to men per se. It is what they do with these smarts that may make some women worried or intimidated. Do they use these smarts to manipulate? A smart woman can manipulate IMO far more effectively than a man. Maybe that is what puts off some men: they do not know how an openly "smart" woman will use her "skill".
 melody annette
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 20
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:02:46 AM
It is not necessary to play dumb when interacting with a man. It is only necessary to understand the mentality of the creature you are dealing with and adjust your interaction to what is possible - not what is impossible.

You don't hide your intelligence when interacting with your dog or cat, but neither do you discuss the physics of electromagnetism with them or the best way to write a national healthcare plan, etc. Likewise, men have a completely different brain structure than women and some of them don't possess the brain cells that deal with certain things. This is a new science and a woman can't really be smart until she learns it. There are a couple of excellent books out on it.
 notard
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 21
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:02:54 AM
Actually the average female intelligence and average male intelligences are essentially the same. In the case of men their intelligence bell curve spreads over a slightly wider span so if one superimposes the bell curve for men's intelligence over the bell curve for women's intelligence the men's is a little flatter at the top (average) but wider, there being a small percentage of more men than women at the very smart and intellectually challenged ends.

As for me, I love to be in the company of intellectually gifted women although it has been my experience that many smart women are afraid to reveal how smart they are right away since they have found men tend to shy away from attempting to initiate romantic overtures with them if they appear quite intelligent. There must be an evolutionary basis for this but I do not know what it is.
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 22
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:12:41 AM
Cardiologist how am i contridicting myself? when i look at a profile online it's usually because of the picture, if i choose to try and connect with that person it's because of what i read in her profile. If i see a woman on the street, The first thing i see is the outside, only after talking to her can i find out about her intelligence. Maybe you need to take those meds.

Nick your point about manipulation is an excellent one. I know that women are way better at manipulation that us men. That's why i am so amused by the thread about women being played i see in the forums all the time, I guess these "players" know the kind of women to go after.

The title of my thread was just supposed to be abit of sarcasm. I don't think any women should have to dummy up just to stroke some guys ego. A man should accept you just the way you're, and if he chooses not to then you need to dump his sorry ass and find one that does.
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 23
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Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:24:47 AM
.

As I’ve written before in the forums: I wish I was half as smart as some people around here think they are.

Now comes a surprising comment:
Well one thing relationship gurus like to tell men, is to just go ahead and admit they are wrong, even if they don't know what they're wrong about....to just let your woman always be right b/c otherwise you're going to be in the argument forever...Plenty of men who are smarter than the woman they're with AND right about something, but just backed down because they learned the hard way it's easier than pressing the issue.


No matter what your sex and which side of this argument you may be on, could you Really suffer being with someone like that very long? I sure couldn’t.

A man should say what he means and mean what he says. If the woman he happens to be with doesn’t like that, it’s time he seriously reevaluates that relationship.

Some people enjoy being confrontational. Ignore them, because that’s one very good reason they are single. . . .

.
 GivingGlory
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 24
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:25:21 AM
If I have to act dumb to be with a man, I don't want to be with that guy! Why in the world would I hide who I really am in order to date somebody? Isn't the whole point to find someone who cares for you just as you are? As long as women pretend to be dumb, men will expect us to be dumb.

I'm a highly educated, intelligent woman who is proud of herself and her accomplishments. I refuse to be someone other than myself. If you can't handle my intelligence, then go find a Barbie doll who will flatter you and lie to you. I prefer a real man.
 slysterling
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 25
Play dumb ladies, Don't show how smart u really are, you might get a man that way.
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:27:50 AM

I firmly believe that women are smarter than me,

i don't becessarily agree with this part tdh...lots of ladies i know are as dumb as a post...lots of men too...

me personally, I'm not real interested in someone that plays stupid, or even really is stupid...if i wanted that i would have settled on here long ago...as in the first few minutes i was on this site...ditzes are a dime a dozen

i look for brains in a woman, and common sense..and hopefully it would compliment both of us...she'd be smart at some stuff, and i'd be smart at some stuff and we'd work with what we've got together...like one brings the wine while the other brings the desert while we both work on making the main course delicious and inviting

for example we could spend sundays partly shopping while she teaches me how to actually shop and dress myself, and when we get back here, i could teach her the subtle differences between a 54 defence and a nickle or dime package defence while she admires the tight pants the football players wear, or enlighten her on the trap system some hockey teams like to implement into their game during the stetch drive to Lord Stanley's Cup....important stuff....then if we're bored, i could teach her about how i overcame the venting problems i had with backdrafting air and sewage gases out of the home when i overhauled the bathroom this winter....

just being facetious, but, i think you get what i mean..i'd like it to be like salt and pepper shakers...both bring their own elements...and both shakers are full, or at least half full with room to fill in the rest together
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