| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:13:29 AM | Not a topic that many people even contemplate. But for some it starts looking like a good option.
While depression can strike for many reasons,
Just how many here have become depressed over loneliness, and how many have actually thought of suicide? | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:39:09 AM | To anybody feeling this way you need to go get help. Being alone is not fun but in no way should you think about ending your life.
If you don't want to get help a good way to feel better about yourself is to keep busy. I really do'nt like being alone but I do'nt think about ending it over it.
Love yourself and sooner or later you will find the right person to love.
When I get down I like to do something special for myself. It does'nt even have to cost a lot of money. Treat yourself to something special and remember when you do find that special someone they got a great catch. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 4:09:58 AM | Hey
Its hard to understand what makes a person sink so low that they do that kind of thing and even harder to understand why they take others with them.
This week a young mother (26) killed her 7 year old daughter and then herself here in Ireland- why?? No one seems to be able to understand - the little girl had just made her first communion and the woman had received the keys to her new house last week. A few weeks ago a man killed his 2 little girls, his wife and then himself - again no one knows why.
What could make someone reach that desperate point?? | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 4:19:57 AM | i cant understand the concept of murder\ suicide either. maybe they see the world as too stuffed up to leave them in it.
but as for the suicide part, when depressed it is hard to see if there is any light in a bleak future, and if the medication stops working that’s the worst time.
Also, all the medication really does is keep a person chemically suppressed, cant really say happy, but in a state where suicide is not in the front of the mind | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 4:36:21 AM | | I've had two calls in the last year from a family member in this situation. I'de never dealt with it before. It's been emotional. I also have a friend who is going through it with a young friend. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 4:51:18 AM | It's not a good place to be
Yes been there and felt that - but it wasn't just loneliness - it was a mixture of things. We all know it gets better but when you're down in the bottom it's hard, very hard, to see the light | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:00:01 AM |
We all know it gets better
it does? like when.... at 49, im running out of time | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:05:19 AM | Noooooooooooo - you got loads of time !!!
But it does - slowly (sometimes very slowly) but surely
Try n keep your chin up  | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:15:20 AM | | ta fran... but it hasnt picked up in 30 odd years, there is more chance of winning the lotto i think. and as money cant buy love i dont think that will be of much help either. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:25:44 AM | I was diagnosed with severe depression many years ago and twice attempted suicide as a young man. For extra fun my now ex-wife had gastric bypass surgery and took her new body out for a spin - after swearing she would not leave me because I loved her even when she had a weight problem and panic disorder. I say this all not for sympathy but so you know I have experience. I left my home and my son and now live alone. I do get to see my son often, but I don't live with him.
What you feel sucks. It really does and it, along with all other thoughts and emotions are very real. I want you to know this; you have the power to survive. You really do. You have to be happy with yourself. Time? What difference does that make? 49, 19, or 69, would it make a difference? Ok, so be sick of feeling this depression now. Mandate it of yourself to be happy with you. God, the universe, higher power, what ever, is trying to tell you that until you are happy with who you are you cannot make anyone else happy and no one else can MAKE you happy. It just cannot happen. Happiness is not about what others will bring you. If you were with someone the loneliness and depression will not go away. In fact, it will intensify because you will feel, "Oh great, even when my girl is with me, I'm still depressed. I must really be sad."
Feel good about you. Make a list of what you are thankful for. Sure, like what you may ask? Let me help you start; Thank you for my computer, the Internet, PoF, the people who care enough about me to write back, the eyes to read. And that's just what I know you can be thankful for. Then ask the world for what you want as if you have it; Thank you for the love of my life, for my great mental health. Feel it!
You are responsible for your happiness. As long as you wait for someone else to give it to you, you will never have it. You have to take your happiness - and it is waiting for you to take it.
Peace, Love, and Light.
/Dave | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:57:39 AM | Wow Dave - what a nice man you are ....
Op - i lost most of my family through Cancer - my dad and my cousins all died very young..i am sure they would swap places with you tomorrow hon. I have had highs and lows for a lot of years now - sometimes feeling worthless and other times feeling on top of the world and not knowing or understanding why i am still alone. Someone said earlier - i think it was 'reallady' - love yourself....make that list !!!! You can see beautiful things, experience beautiful things everyday...and also remember...anyone who reads this thread and takes time to respond to you has cared enough to do so. You can even find sharing caring attitudes from strangers on POF.
Perhaps you have made the right move writing it down here .....
Good luck to you and all that you do.
Karen x | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:16:40 AM | Whilst I have suffered from severe depression for years and was once daft enough to make a very concerted effort to end it all (only to be dragged back from the jaws of death kicking and screaming) I don't let the depression take over my life anymore. When I feel myself slipping into the black cloud of a depression, which might happen every couple of months, I make the conscious decision to remember that I am feeling the way I am because of clinical depression, not because my life isn't worth living.
Do you know what I'm getting at? Accept the depression as such and just ride it out, if you've suffered this for a while you'll know yourself that the cloud will lift sooner or later.
I think it's also important to not put too much emphasis on trying to find the other half of your moon and sky; someone will come along sooner or later. In the meantime just enjoy life on your own, catch up with all the old friends you've missed over the years, the movies you've wanted to see, the books you've always meant to read.
Most importantly, get out of town one weekend, break the cycle of nothingness. Change your environment, be a tourist somewhere.
Expect nothing, just be. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:24:01 AM | I'll second Karen's thoughts!! WOW Dave! And ... maybe writing it down here IS making the right first move!
I wonder ... can someone be LED to where you are, or do they have to want it bad enough to seek it out themselves?
Sometimes I feel frustrated (and helpless??) because I want SO BAD to 'start the ball rolling' ... but I think people must WANT to GRAB ON ... and HOLD TIGHT! I can't seem to find the right ... motivator ... for anything other than ?loosly holding on and ignoring ... that the ball is ... nothing short of ... BEAUTIFUL. AND WELL WORTH THE EFFORT!
Sorry for sounding nutty.
???? | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:26:17 AM | Qk so i had a crap childhood, didn't think i would make it past the age 15 but there's a lot of people that feel like that, i got over it. And i'd always make myself think that there is someone else out there who is worse off than me. Then my baby boy came into my life now all i can see is the light, sure there can be dark days but nobody is perfect and no-one lives perfect lives. The only way is up if you can make it happen that is, most people think that things will get better if you sit around waiting for them to happen, but in reality it doesn't. And to go through tough situations makes you a stronger person for life So don't go through life thinking you have been dealt a bad hand, think about changing your strategies and winning   | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:39:23 AM | You have one good reason not to commit suicide, even when you don't value yourself any more than to think of it: Your son.
Don't do that to your son. You wouldn't do mean things to him and have to look him in the eye, so don't do the ultimate mean thing where you CAN'T look him in the eye and tell him you are sorry.
I personally am a drama queen of the highest order. I'll admit it. I don't show it so much, but it's there, and I'm learning to control it some.
Anyway, yes. I've been where you are. Only I'm 56, soon to be 57. My husband dropped dead and left me to tackle the world by myself. It has taken me three years but I'm finally getting the hang of it and I'm SO glad I am here.
Without singing the Platitude Songs, I can tell you that something - sometimes even one thing - happens every day that makes me glad to be here.
Reach out, even if it's here like you are doing. Don't give up. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:01:56 AM | Karen and Hey Sam...thank you for your kind words. You can always be shown the way or led to the Light by teachers, leaders, friends, lovers, and others. BUT...you still have to want to go. Like a mule, if you don't want to go you won't.
You may have to start by wanting to want to be happy. In other words, some folks may feel the desire to be happy enough to start changing to be happy. Depression is usually so deep you can't even see that you want change. Start with saying, "I want to have the desire to change my life."
You see, it doesn't matter who loves you, who doesn't, if you are with lots of people or alone. If you are depressed you are hurting. We become what we think about. That's it. So if our thinking is depression, whether it's emotional or a chemical imbalance, it is our thinking. You can shift it, fake 'till you make it if you must. But being grateful puts your brain and chemicals in a shift. It will feel like you are going crazy at first because it feels and 'thinks' so differently. Be silent, be grateful, then ask to be well and believe that you are. Change your thinking to the present tense. I am so happy and grateful now that I am happy. Don't think 'I am not depressed' because you still have depression on your mind when you say that. Say, "I am so happy and grateful that I am happy and grateful."
Peace, Love, and Light.
/Dave | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:20:49 AM | | I myself have a 16 yr.old daughter that battles with depression and not only that but is also known as a cutter.Though hard to battle two demons at once it helps if she knows that I am there to talk with and comfort her.We have been through the suicidal thoughts,the dark pictures she would draw of death and the suicidal poetry.I dont understand a majority of why she thinks this way but i always let her know that i am there for her through the happy times and her most desperate. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:50:31 AM | It is important to really listen to someone who says they want to hurt themselves. Most suicides are a method to try to end the pain. Many times the pain comes from lonliness and isolation.
You can still feel isolated if you have people around you, but one way to make a person feel less isolated and alone is to listen. Ask them why they feel the way they do, how long they felt like this, and really listen let them talk if they will. This alone will help a lot. Then after you have done that, you may offer to help them find professional support, and another important thing is to check up on the person. Call them every once in a while and make sure things are going okay. If they need to talk again then again it is important that you listen and offer your support. Advise is what may seem natural for you to give but your listening and your support is way more important. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:52:09 AM | my GP who has been treating my D got me to go to the mental health department of the hospital and chat to them guys, after an hours worth of questions that covered my childhood and school years (what I could remember of it) they told me what sort of D they thought it was, cant remember the type, but it was the sort that makes a persons personality and mind to be sad and very susceptible to mood swings, more often to the negative side
for anyone in Australia with D this might be a helpfull site too
http://www.depressionet.com.au/ | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:08:15 AM | | Been depressed, to the point of suicide, learned from it, and enjoy EVERY day now. It's all about seeing patterns, and making a choice, in the end. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:08:43 AM | Been there, done that. I don't remember how old I was. Maybe 16 or 17. Even now there are times I wish I succeeded. I think about my father's death and, more recently, my brother's death and wonder why it couldn't have been me.
You want to know what the worst part of attempting to die was - being strapped down in a hospital. Having my whole body strapped down was hellish.
Truth - people who really do want to die do die. There is no shame to finding a therapist. Find someone you feel you can work with. Maybe try an SRI.
Don't let yourself hit rock bottom. Even if there is just one tiny little thing in your life that is good or positive, focus on that.
Some said "chin up". Some said you deserve better and love yourself. Someone even tried guilting you by saying you should think of your son. I know these aren't all that helpful when you are seriously depressed. The word "depression" has been so over used. Depression and anxiety are very real problems. Please, please, please don't hurt yourself. Get help. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:25:41 AM | I was diagnosed with severe depression about 4 years ago. I was extremely depressed for about 6 years before that, and remember even as a child and teen being depressed and thought about suicide.
The only thing that has stopped me, is that my younger brother comitted suicide 13 years ago this month. I was 6 months pregnant at the time, he had a 1 year old and a 3 year old. Knowing how that hurt my family, his kids lost their father, I lost my brother is what has kept me going, even through the hardest and darkest periods. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 4 years, did 2 years of therapy and am on medication now. I will always have to take it. After my divorce I thought I was ok, stopped taking it and went downhill again. And could not explain what i felt bad about.
It is not me or anything I have done, or that was done to me. It is a chemical imbalance and I have learned to accept it. One of my kids also suffers from depression. it is hard to deal with, but we do it.
Hang in there, see a doctor, a therapist and do not give up. Think about everyone that you love and that loves you, and think about how they would feel if you did end your life. Please get help, do not be afraid of any stigma, and takes meds if you need them.
You are in my thoughts. | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:39:44 AM | i have tried a few times in the past, in 1976, when i was 18 i downed about 150 asprin thinking that would do it, was just sick foir a few days
then in about 86, and 89 taking not enough sleeping pills, in 94 i smashed me car into a tree, and just ended up with a crush vertibra, and them in 2003 i took a load of panadine forte, should have stuffed me liver or kidnys, not sure which and that still didnt work.
after all that, what should have pickled me...a few months back me doc done blood tests and everything was average for a 49 yearold | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:48:41 AM | | Your thread makes me sad OP - i might be at the opposite side of the world from you...but i am sending you a virtual biggggg hug xx | |
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| Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:51:06 AM | | I have never gotten to this point myself but I have counseled friends and family in this area. My mother had four failed attempts before she was successful enough to be committed. We all get depressed. We sleep, eat, work out, talk to friends and get through it. But when you enter this realm it's so dark and smothering you can't find a doorway out. This level of depression is un-reasonable and can't be dealt with alone. There are good medications out there. Force yourself to rely on others and see a physician it always gets better and you will feel normal with again... | |
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