| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 12:47:50 PM | As I cruise these forums I've noticed an awful lot of negativity. I hear how every person on this site is a jerk, a player, a pervert, a gold digger, a ****. Where do you find these people? I certainly haven't encountered many of them in my life, online or off. Maybe I'm young and naive, but I don't think so. Why all this anger and hatred of life?
I originally came here because it was recommended by a friend, she found a lovely girlfriend on here and has been dating for a year. I had been overseas for two years and I'd just moved into a new city. I was feeling lonely. I met two or three nice people online here and one of them I've started dating. She left POF about 10 days ago and even though I took my profile down a few days ago, I've also now decided to stop looking at the forums. Maybe I'll be back soon, maybe I won't. It's a crazy world. When I first started POF, the forums intrigued me, I was curious about other people's experiences... but then I came to realize that negativity was pervasive here and the forums lost their appeal.
A number of people on these forums seem to be generally optimistic and love life, but there seems so much anger and pessimism. So to all you people whom seem to be angry and mad at the world... why do you feel that way? Why do you feel that all the guys and girls you meet are jerks? Why do you feel everyone is trying to use you? Have you really had so many terrible experiences?
Or, am I just letting the few on here who are overly negative drown out the voices of the more optimistic people who post here?
Hmm.. maybe this should have gone in the testimonials section or somewhere else. Good luck everyone! | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 12:56:50 PM | | I agree with you, and can only speculate that it's like showing up at the food bank and asking why everyone's complaining about being hungry. The demographics are skewed towards people who already aren't having success with dating in real life, and are probably frustrated, hence the negativity. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 1:10:59 PM | | I have always been an optimist, and that has kept me going even in sad times. I do think there is a lot of negativity here in the forums. I don't know why that is. I do not let this get me down because ultimately I would rather enjoy life to the fullest than be negative all the time. I guess people feel they can express their anger more often here than in real life. Seems to me that they should do more relaxation techniques so that they can release their anger more productively. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 1:11:05 PM | | MSG 2...good point. I don't like it at all, especially when it gets too personal...name calling etc. There's some really bored, unfulfilled peeps out there and the only way they can express themselves is by venting spleen. Not generalising...many more good folk abound. But I have found myself getting dragged down from time to time.... | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 1:11:42 PM |
Or, am I just letting the few on here who are overly negative drown out the voices of the more optimistic people who post here? Yes. Be positive *smiles*. Even the people who seem negative are just getting something out of their system, expressing themselves, maybe making a first step to working through whatever it is that is making them suffer and act without compassion... Or is that toooo Pollyanna?  | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 2:15:02 PM | Saying this place is too negative ......is being negative.
I think it's best to say what you think , there's already way too much Polyanna crap. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 9:21:26 PM | | The world has become negative, unfortunately. I think people watch too much CNN (Constantly Negative News). Negativity is not an appealing trait. Perhaps too, people are celebrating their own Pity Parties. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 9:45:10 PM | | One thing a lot of people need to realize is that negativity breeds negativity. If you sit around and talk about things or people you hate, you let people see that negativity. If you are positive, people also see that and are attracted to it. That being said, a lot of people that post in Broken Hearts etc are just needing to vent. Most the time they know the answers to the questions they ask, yet they need the validation from other people just to give them a boost. It's helped me before to post in the forums when feeling down. As stated above by ksue44, the world is negative and because of the internet it is soooo easy to find pity instead of dealing with your problems. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 10:02:51 PM | Then read the other side - the success stories.
This is like trouble shooting on a computer forum. Most of what you read is problems BECAUSE the people with no computer problems are not in the forums. The people that are not hurting/pizzed off are posting but not starting threads - they are trying to help the others.
Also ... I think some are letting the 5% blind them to the 95% that are not all that negative. It is like the small percent of players look bigger than their numbers actually are due to the ....... publicity.
I don’t think what was said above really applies - I don’t view the people on these forums as a bunch of whacked out losers at all.
I’ve been on single’s sites for 4 years now. I don’t consider myself a loser and I doubt that anyone that knows me does. I was married most of my life helped raise two stepdaughters. They have known me for 21 years now - they don’t consider me a loser.
Some are blinded by the FEW people that seem negative. | |
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Dug01
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Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 10:16:47 PM | I'm sorry, but I feel I need to point out the obvious... The people complaining about the negativity are being negative. I'm now being negative toward the negative that are negative concerning the negative... sheesh................ Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. lol
Dug01 | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 10:31:19 PM | | I'm willing to bet it has a lot to do with sexual frustration. | |
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Reegan
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Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:08:32 PM | | They are negative because they view their lives as pathetic, lonely, and feel better by cutting down others. Is is so obvious to everyone that their life consists of misery and misery needs company! | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:23:07 PM | | Yes, I'm sure that's it. Excuse me while I go sit and rock in a dark corner. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:34:52 PM | there are only two kinds of people in this world, those you wish to use and those who wish to use you | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:40:26 PM | | ~OP~ Misery seems to love/crave/insist upon and instigate company. Sad isn't it? I often wonder how some people think they will ever meet someone here, all you have to do is click the little link and read the nastiness that oozes out here. I don't think I'd be overly excited about a man who posts constant negativity here, and I'm certain no man wants to meet someone who has nothing nice to say about men in general. It's perplexing to me. I think my pet-peeve are the over-generalizers......All women this, All men that ~ sigh. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:15:25 AM | LOL
common kid u need to move out of your parents place or something and experience the world as it is today. u said it yourself you might be naive.i would agree with u.
how do u expect the forums to be such a positive place more than a negative place.the way i see it the forums are a place for people to get theyre opinions out there.usually the subjects being brought up are something negative wich is normal i guess.why would people need to discuss and complain about something that is good.forums are usually a place more to complain about stuff.just look at most of them. see anything positive being discussed???lol | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:29:55 AM | Some people evolve and allow themselves to embrace their life experiences and some do not have the patience or willingness to view it other than a "bad" experience and choose to vent to the degree that they don't own their own responsibility in the situation and choose to place blame elsewhere.
From what I've read in the forums, it appears that there are people that do not understand that there is a lot that rides on honouring and respecting oneself or others. Victimizing, objectifying, resentment, judgment and the inability to accept responsibility will dimish a person's spirit and not only does that affect themselves, but also the person to whom they choose to criticize (with brutal honesty, so they feel justified in how they choose to express their perspective in a harsh manner) and judge.
Life is a journey and we individually choose to create our lives. We reap what we sow. It's all a choice. | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:56:06 AM | I have to agree with KSue on this one...It has definitely become a negative world...
1 - Many individuals want an "easy button" installed in their lives... working at something is too much trouble, and often is seen as taking much too long...
2 - It has become a "quitters society"... Namely, if something becomes boring, worn-out, or too much of an inconvenience...One is urged to "Quit it, dump it, and find something fresh and new..."
3 - This has become a society very much wrapped up in the individual's needs, often at the exclusion of everyone and everything else...
4 - Instant gratification is foremost, instead of looking ahead...Why look ahead for anything? Your mind might change by then, or you might be run over by a Greyhound Bus, God forbid!
...And you ask why all the negativity? | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:24:18 AM |
Saying this place is too negative ......is being negative.
But what if we did it in a songsong happy voice? | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:47:05 AM | I know let all us happy... positive... huggy type people band together!
We can wear the white hats Handing out the lasso of love.
Don't ya think people get grumpy and negative when they are not getting any?
Okay how many of you forum junkies are getting some? (on a regular basis?)Raise your hand!
Just ignore the fatheads it has taken me a few years to learn that and I am slow so YOU should be able to master the ignoring technique in say like a week
Good Luck!!! | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:53:59 AM | | @Shelleybean Attitudes like yours arent part of the solution they are part of the problem! peeps are negative on the computer because,Well they can be!!! some of these negative people may have a shit job and cant vent anywhere else!!! thats what the reporting section is on here you want no negativity? then start reporting some of these name callers and get em kicked/banned from site! i personally dont mind the negativity...makes me remeber we live in a free country and you cant take away someones right to be a negative ***hole LOL but alot of people take this right to far i agree...in real life some of their shit would be construed as verbal battery and they would/could be areested for that but im sure those are extreme cases... | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 7/6/2007 8:50:26 PM | | I agree with the OP. Yes, there is A LOT of negativity on POF. But that's just not only here. I find that there's a lot of negativity offline as well. Sadly, it's become a disposible society and people seem to give up way to easily. They're not willing to work on a relationship to make it successful. Too many broken hearts etc. I noticed this when I first joined last year and like you this site was recommended by a friend of mine. It does make you wonder if there is any hope. I guess try and concentrate on the positive people out there. You know what you want and just stick to it. Good luck! | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 7/6/2007 9:04:05 PM | The Thread Police are such a bore. Who cares about a 6 month or year old thread that addressed the subject a bit differently. As far as I am concerned any thread with no activity for 5 months should be deleted. Many of the old threads are mostly filled dead Icons of long since gone members. Old threads are useless.
Joe | |
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| Why all the negativity?
Posted: 7/6/2007 9:12:13 PM | | I am a positive person by nature ,and tend to put a humorious spin on my online dating adventures ,but sometimes that is hard to do ,and negativity worms its way in . I do my best to stay positive,but I find myself getting tired of all the lies and those who claim to be single ,but who are really married . I can spot a married man at 50 paces now so I suppose I have learned something from all this online dating . | |
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