|SOBRIETYPage 1 of 1 |
|drinking24 hours when will it end,,,my body is tired going round the bend,,,,the loves of my life have gone away,,,theres only me left today,,,the party is over its come to a stop,,,,i drink every minute until i drop,,,why cant i see what its done to me,,,lost my kids and family,,,its time to put a stop to this all,,,i pick up the phone and make a call,,the voice on the phone is friendly and calm,,i tell him i think i am doing myself harm,,im drinking all day lifes getting bad,,,im never am happy and always feel sad,,i cannot go on with my life anymore,,,i feel as though im at deaths door,,the friendly voice began to tell me,,,,i need a life of sobriety,,,you need to stop your life of drinking,,this is when my mind starts thinking,,,how can i stop this,,,,,i dont know how,,,i really need some help right now,,,the friendly voice told me go AA,,,even just to try one day,,,that night i sat and made a choice,,,to listen to the friendly voice,,i slowly walked in the doors of AA,,,,and went back again everday,,,i never thought id see the day,,,my life would change in every way,,,im finally happy my children love me,,they finally have the love of mummy,,,i love my life now,,i can finally see,,how my drinking was killing me,,,the life i have now is different today,,,thanks to my family who i call AA thankyou to THE LIVING ROOM and AA|
Posted: 5/19/2007 1:13:16 PM
|Nicely put sue. 13 years of sobriety here. one's who dont know the road we have took will never understand the road that we are on now and how are past (no regrets) has made us better pepole for having lived through it and made it back.|
Posted: 5/19/2007 1:36:05 PM
|They should put that into the Big Book, darlin.|
I'm one of the one's who are totally constitutionally capable of being honest with themself...and yet still suffer. Good thing I have beer.
I think I like it.
And I'm totally enabled...I've seen to that.
But, I know what you mean
And I'm happy and proud of your being clean
Keep your heart filled with honesty
And your cup will overflow with nothing but purity
loved your poem
Posted: 5/19/2007 5:02:41 PM
|Sue, what a great poem.....my brother Sean, a life-long alcoholic died 3 weeks ago. Although we all hoped, we knew he had to come to it on his own. He never did. God bless you and I hope you're poem helps one person and it will be worth it. Good for you.....Crissy|
Posted: 5/20/2007 8:09:45 AM
|Thanks Crissy,,,sorry for your loss,,its hard when we lose a loved one especially through an addiction that some can not understand,,,i was just labelled a drunk for many years,,and that destroyed me but not enough to put down the drink,,one day i couldnt take it anymore and i picked up the phone,,and that was harder than losing my children,,having to admit that i was ill and a alcoholic,,its not a easy thing to do,,the worst thing about alcohol it is so socially excepted and its the done thing for most people now days,,i wish the public was made more aware of the pain and loss it causes,,,take care crissy,,and i am very sorry for your loss x|
Posted: 5/20/2007 8:20:50 AM
|thank you for your response,,,the easy part is putting down the drink i say,,,the hardest is not picking it up again,,,no one understands a alcoholic more than an alcoholic,,i had many so called friends when i was drinking,,and when i stopped i had no one,,but now through the love of AA and THE LIVING ROOM,,i have more friends that i could ever imagine possible,,and they are true friends and of course now the love of my family and children and that is priceless x|
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:40:47 AM
|For me ... 7 days in the ICU and a .4 BAC on the second day in was my bottom. Life is great and I have a couple of Sundays under my belt. But all it is really another 24 hours. So the SUGGESTINS are: Get a sponsor (female), go to meetings, work the steps, get involved with service commitments, don't get into a relationship in early recovery, and stick with the winners. Remember they say they are suggestions. For me and my experience...... working a half-assed program (not following suggestions) when I was first exposed to AA caused me to be a frequent relapser. It was my own best thinking that got me to AA ..... so I had to listen like the dying. I didn't know shit about staying sober. Best of luck ....recovery is actually a lot of fun.|
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:14:09 AM
|Thanks for your reply,,i try and attend AA as often as possible and i also go to rehab allday everyday without fail and that programme is working well for me at the momment,,,but its true what you say about sticking with the winners its amazing how many friends you havent got when you stop drinking,,but i have all the friends i need at the fellowship,,true friends|
Posted: 5/22/2007 10:00:16 AM
|Sober here 6 yrs..... something to share with you|
Am I an old soul or a fool
because my youth is faded and
the grey hairs appear......
Often I ponder, the days of yesteryear
to the times of my youth
when I was careless and free
wild nights spent cruising the roads
drunk and disorderly,
rude and obnoxious,
selfish and annoying....
not caring about anyone but me
believing I would live forever
and die at the age of 30...
with a drink in one hand
a joint in the other
and a man between my legs.....
"Sigh" those were the good ole days...
Age of 30 went and passed....
on the brink of divorce, a little boy in tow
angry words thrown
drunk and disorderly
hating all men.
Ten years have come and gone
seeing what I have left behind
brings a tear or two to my eyes
as I feel my life is fading faster
than I can keep up......
Today I have wisdom
and seek knowledge for more
wanting to forget the past
make new tomorrows
slow down....appreciate the way life is today....
being grateful I am alive
and able to endure
life's simple pleasures
one day at a time.
Posted: 5/22/2007 2:02:07 PM
|Awesome Sue9, I love this one; A Drunk fell in a hole. A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman threw him some money& told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in the hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The drunk said,"Help,I can't get out". The doctor gave him drugs & said,/;Take this,it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out,he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by& heard the drunk's cries for help. He stopped & said,"How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of lonliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole. A priest came by & the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible & said."I'll say a prayer for you.He got down on his knees & prayed for the drunk then left. The drunk was grateful, he read the Bible, but was still stuck in his hole. A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out," Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole.'Right away the recovering alcoholic jumped in with him.The drunk said," What are you doing?now we're both stuck here.' But the recovering alcoholic said "That's ok, Ive been here before,I know the way out."|
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:55:42 PM
I didnt know that people answered opinions on forums....sorry I took so long.
Thank you for your thoughts of my brother Sean. I work with addicts every day in my job so I know where you're coming from. Alcohol is a drug of choice for so many. That one phone call changes your whole life. Let's you compartmentalize and come to terms with your own feelings.
Take care Sue, God Bless.......Crissy x
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:44:31 AM
|24 years in Recovery. Just found this thread today. Gotta bookmark it! I still go to meetings, worked as a Substance Abuse Counselor for many years. Still work in a similar field, and I STILL NEED MY MEETINGS, lol!|
Posted: 9/8/2007 2:18:04 PM
|Good thing I have meetings to go to. |
Why do I cause myself so much pain over women?
Is it an instinctual biological chemical reaction to reproduce?
Or is it that I am a hopeless romantic?
Maybe I just miss the companionship.
Good thing I have meetings. I usually feel good at meetings, except when there's a bunch of beautiful women there ignoring me. If I talk to them, they seem indifferent. Maybe I'm relying to much on God to find me a girlfriend. Even when the signs seem so clear, they are not. Maybe God knows as little about women as I do. Maybe the only person that can find me a girlfriend is my next girlfriend.
Love is most cruel when you long for it and no one comes.
Or is love another chemical reaction of the brain?
Love is truly blind, blind to the woes of humankind. It comes so easily and cares not whether your mate is right, as long as you mate. Then, when the deed is done, love abandons us and we must work extra hard to love our mates. And if we fail, we abandon love secretly looking for that next magical date.
A cruel and wicked master, love, deceptive and cunning.
Good thing I have meetings to learn how to live.
And the girls at the meetings, I know what they've been through.
Rape and abuse, alcoholism and drug abuse. They look at me like scared little deers, if at all. It's not their fault to be afraid of love. After all, what is love but a reaction in the brain. Just another drug causing pain.
I know some of you will disagree with my words. Maybe my view of love will change someday, but my heart cries out for the girl of my dreams...
...or is it love that deceives me that dreams can come true,
another drug that replaces the ones I used to do?
Good thing I have meetings to go to.
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:58:49 AM
|If it feels good, we can get addicted to it. Being in love feels good. What many of us don't realize is that LOVE takes time and lots of work. One of the lies many of us humans believe is that love is supposed to come easy. We are surprised when it brings out our worst as well as our best. That's where we get to grow (individually and together). We confuse love with like, infatuation or lust, and think that's all there is. Then we never get to the real love part because we lost interest and don't have sense enough to do the work required to get the good stuff. Kinda like expecting payday before we go to work. |