| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:20:47 PM | My profile says I'm mainly here for friends, yet I get guys who ask how much I weigh, what my body type is, etc ...
My profile says 'prefer not to say', because I don't think it's a relevant question when friendship is the goal.
If I meet a guy who in all other respects is fun to be with; funny, smart and kind-hearted, at that point I really don't care if he's big or not. Granted, I might not be attracted to a huskier build, but I'd still get along well with him on a social level. I don't refuse a friend based on his shape, but guys don't want to meet me if I'm not athletic or toned? .. they obviously don't want a friend only, so why write to me in the first place?
For a guy to ask me, prior to even indicating a wish to meet me, essentially if I'm petite and not overweight (they don't say that, but it's implied) .. to me is really presumptuous of my attraction to him!
It sounds like he's already made up his mind that I'm after him, and that he'd better make sure I fit the bill, or else he's not interested.
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:27:37 PM | | My wieght is in my profile. I am in great shape and I will occasionally ask wieght but in a beat around the bush way. Only american women get mad if you ask thier wieght. I hate not being able to ask. If they don't have a full body picture. I wont talk to someone. I do think is bad if some fat guy asks a girl her wieght he has no right to. But what if a guy is in good shape? I have a flat stomach shouldn't i be aloud to ask a girl? | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:29:26 PM | I was asked if I was really blond and weighed 300lbs -
are they really my pictures - I guess that made the blond fat
girl question relevant-
I also have been asked my cup size - have been asked other
things to - lets see - my favorite sexual position - if I swallowed-
Will I wear costumes for them and let them touch me- will I go shopping
with them for cosmetics and high heels- the list goes on-
- and they wonder why I dont meet them.
You know what - if you want someone in tip top condition - you should
state it - that way its in the profile and it means something to you- its a
deal breaker-
Actually when guys dont believe its me - I dont even bother trying to
convince them- many have met me here - they know its me- I should start
giving out references. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:36:18 PM |
If they don't have a full body picture. I wont talk to someone. I do think is bad if some fat guy asks a girl her wieght he has no right to. But what if a guy is in good shape? I have a flat stomach shouldn't i be aloud to ask a girl? It's one thing if you're looking for a relationship that will likely be physical fairly soon, but as I said, I'm here for just friends, and that's plainly stated in my profile.
In this respect, I don't think it's nice to judge me on my looks.
---------------------------------------------
.. ps ~ I'm not American. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:43:04 PM | whats being American got to do with anything-
What the hell am I saying the American Male is as shallow
as the baby pool- LOL!!!-
I am going to get cut and pasted out the as* for this one-LOL!!!
Edit : Like I said American Men are as shallow as the baby pools
you buy at Walmart-
I did not realize you are European - If you are being asked by
American Men - block them - we do-LOL!!!
You know TRAVELOR up there - There is a name for guys like you here-
Lifers- really - why are you setting such unreachable standards -
I know you want what you want but - i think your setting yourself
up for failure-women are very sensitive about this - just like you are
sensitive about the size of some of your body parts-
Okay there is my shallow baby pool theory proven. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:58:20 PM |
If they don't have a full body picture. I wont talk to someone.
Seriously... You are so conceited. Have you ever thought that SOME of us aren't concerned with getting our friends and everyone else to take pictures of us or that it's impossible to take self full body pics with a digital camera? One arms do not stretch out that far. You think girls that girls that aren't showing their body must be chubby? Well I'm 5'10 and 125 lbs. My measurements are 34, 27, 34. So any guy that follows your logic would just pass right by me thinking I must be lying about being thin. Well good, because I wouldn't want to know jerks like that. I don't have full body pics, yet, because I haven't had the opportunity. I'll get some when one arises. I just never think to take my cam anywhere and I don't ask people 'oh please take my pic. Here I'll sit on this rock...' And also, just because you've got something does not mean you NEED to flaunt it. Only self absorbed people who are actually just insecure think that. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:05:36 PM | I don't think peoples weight should ever be an issue. I have short friends, tall friends, skinny friends, and not so skinny friends. I think that the important issues are smart, not so funny, interesting, boring, smart, creative, airheads, and the wicked and want to be wicked | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:24:14 PM | That's just the way we humans are.. some people care, some don't.
I prefer to be rather up front about it.. I don't have any full body shots, mostly cuz I dont want to really look at that myself.. but my head shots don't always depict that I am actually, a fat girl. So, to avoid surprises, I always bring it up rather casually.. "hey, just letting you know.. I'm a big girl... " and that way if they are turned off by that, so be it.. I'm not crushed, I want to be with someone who thinks I'm beautiful at any size. And so far, the men who've loved me have loved all of me..
even with the head shots, I still get comments like "you look better than your pics", from men I meet.. I'm not saying that to be concieted.. I've just read a lot from guys who say that fat girls tend to be even uglier in person than they "pretend" to be on here. I just don't see the point. I want to meet them.. and I can't find a skinny suit that works.. so it's gonna be all me.. love it or not. But when I meet them they aren't looking for a hot bodied blond walking in.. they expect a fat girl.. and in walks a big sexy blonde.. lol..
but yes, I've been asked directly what my weight was.. I don't judge them for it unless they ask rudely..
so, for me, it's all good. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:39:01 PM | I haven't been asked that one too often.. and when I have, its been by someone I have been chatting with for a while, so it didn't bother me.
I once had a man ask me to send him pics to prove I wasn't fat though.. so I put a full body one on my profile.. well that wasn't good enough, he wanted me to send him more. No thanks, good bye. If the one I put up wasn't good enough, too bad.
I like to be appraised for who I am, my character traits.. frankly I am tired of being seen for just my looks.. gets incredibly boring actually.. so I would rather him underestimate my appearance, get to know me and be pleasantly surprised when he meets me
So my opinion is.. let him ask.. you don't have to answer.. and YOU get to appraise whether you want to continue corresponding with him based on his approach :) | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:51:59 PM | i get it all the time.
one guy even asked what was wrong with me. he told me i need to eat chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy.
it bothers me that someone would say something like that. suppose you make those remarks to someone undergoing chemo? | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 7:48:36 PM | I've never asked a woman her weight. I just wasn't raised that way. As long as a woman is healthy and in good shape that's what I like. And that doesn't always mean someone thin either. Too thin looks sickly no matter what Hollywood dictates.
Plus you also have to consider that not everyone can hold their weight at a constant. The one who posted about having a flat stomach and that the woman should as well is being totally ridiculous. That "logic" would follow that if she were pregnant he'd leave her. Wow. What a winner. Not! | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 8:09:16 PM | Yes I have been asked many questions including the how much do you weigh question... the what size are your boobs question...blah blah blah.
Men shallow. No really. But then again there are lots of women that are too.
My profile very clearly states BBW as that is the term that seems to be what is used for as my kids call it "big and fluffy and great for a cuddle"
So my response is this:
Did you read my profile?
Well yes.
Go back and read it again!
Ok I have.
Good....Satisfied...because that is all you are getting. The rest is between me and my Doctor.
What is your cup size, bum, legs, blah blah,blah?
I am big and fluffy from head to foot!
So to all those question askers out there: If that is not a good enough response to a question usually asked in the first 10 minutes of chatting then please do me a favor and move on! Not really interested in shallow people male or female.
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:39:20 PM | | i answer to anyone who asks the first time and simply put my height and weight.It's understandable through a computer that blocks all our natural senses to help us clarify things rationaly.Bottom line for me though,a picture is worth a thousand words and if you can see by a picture what it is you curious about,than actually asking is redundant.What you see is what you get,announcing in lbs my body weight isn't going to find me true love or the one thats right for me and i extend that liberty to the rest. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:48:50 PM | | I haven't, but I get asked my bra size a lot. I always say that I won't answer anything online that I wouldn't answer in person, and not too many people have asked for my bra size in Starbucks! | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:56:30 PM | | Yep...I've been asked. It doesn't bother me...everyone has preferences. When I look at a profile the first thing I look at is the eyes and smile--assuming they have a pic and it contains a smile. The second thing I click is the height. I like tall men..period. It's not a slight to shorter men, it's a personal preference. If a man prefers not to be with a bigger woman, it's a personal preference. I don't mind anyone asking at all. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:23:19 PM | No, I've never been asked... But, I'm pretty blunt and up front about myself.
Actually, I probably over do it, but I am that way simply because this is the InterCrap and people expect you to lie or downplay your 'problem areas' (yeah... whatever).
The truth is you can't really tell what someone is going to look like by their weight... Of course, even if you could, is that the only thing that matters? Are there not other things about a person that can trump the pleasantly plump aspect of their rump?
the giggleparts - I live in the bucolic and daydream of entropy | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:54:23 PM |
it's a personal preference. If a man prefers not to be with a bigger woman, it's a personal preference. I don't mind anyone asking at all. What if someone, having read in my profile that I'm just looking for friends, still wants to know my body size? What difference does it make if it's just for friends, and if the guy doesn't want just friends, why does he email me?
That's what I am wondering, not so much why he'd prefer a certain type for dating.
Maybe he hasn't actually read the profile, some might wonder? He just liked the pic and didn't bother to see the rest?
.. no one will have seen 'prefer not to say' for body type if they haven't first seen my headliner: "Friends or Nothin'." | |
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jebra
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Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 19 | |
| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 12:06:01 AM | I have a flat stomach shouldn't i be aloud to ask a girl?
Come on... the guy who wrote this is obviously an idiot! He didnt even address the question, just went on his own tangent.
People who have flat stomachs but no written comprehension can keep their gorgeous bodies and empty heads.. who needs them?
To play devils advocate however, I do wonder why someone would join a dating website claiming they just want friendship..... surely a dating website functions as a platform for people to break the ice with the opposite sex (or same sex if thats what they're into) in the hope of eventually connecting with someone romantically?
Having said that I do agree that it is boring, predictable and disappointing that so many men operate on that level. I have not posted my picture for this very reason. I have been told I am stunning many times but I dont want people contacting me solely on the basis of my looks. I read profiles and send messages to those that seem to have similar values to me. If they reply great but it doesnt bother me if they dont.
In a perfect world, people would base their decision to contact others with a genuine interest in getting to know the person behind the face and the body. In reality however people need a physical attraction as well as personality and intellect. Good luck to the dumb asses who dive straight into asking what you look like and how much you weigh, they will always find someone willing to tell them. :) | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 12:10:07 AM | before i put a pic up, i had guys asking me how much i weighed. when i told them 170lbs i never heard from them again. i guess they either a) didnt see the "athletic" claim; and/or b) dont realize that muscle weighs far more than fat does. i just laugh and shake my head now... they wanted a thin blonde, and they coulda had one. but i also count my lucky stars i managed to weed out a few of the shallow ones. and i think i even contacted a couple of them just to say "hey, last time we chatted you asked for a pic. well, here's a recent one."
those bikini pics were taken last fall, so they're less than a year old. and yes, my weight in those pics was 170lbs. just goes to prove that weight sometimes means nothing at all.
so guys... before you ask a girl how much she weighs, consider that the body type of a 5'9", 170lb female can mean either fat OR thin depending on lifestyle and bone structure. and waist size doesnt mean anything either. my sister has a 28inch waist and yet is still quite chubby. a lot of men would actually consider her "fat", to be honest.
but, c'est la vie. those men that asked me my weight wanted a 5'9" chick that weighed no more than a stick... and would be incapable of keeping up with them in their "active lifestyles".  | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 12:18:18 AM | I think you will find that most people on internet sites, men especially, are ridiculously superficial ..... I've had messages from fat middle aged balding men with glasses who are no oil paintings, asking me how fat am i exactly .. do i wear this or that do i work out do i make an effort with my appearance etc etc .... never about my likes dislikes or about my personality
And I'm in a relationship!!! I clearly state this and that I'm just here to chat make friends and stuff ... so WTF!!!!
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 12:33:21 AM | | Funny to me how what you weigh means anything about dating when you say you are here for friends ? but are you ? If you are really here to meet a guy it would apply cause not many guys unless they are really weird or severely desperate want to have sex with a fat chick . | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 2:00:37 AM |
To play devils advocate however, I do wonder why someone would join a dating website claiming they just want friendship..... It's not only a dating site. Some people are here for the forums only, as well as making new acquaintances that aren't predictated on anything romantic.
I myself wish to simply know someone as a good pal for a while. If something more should happen to come of it, that's a different story and independent of POF, or any other social site.
you say you are here for friends ? but are you ? If you are really here to meet a guy Just what's so wrong with just wanting a buddy? Sure, I might connect with a guy who turns out to be 'the one', or maybe not, but there seems such a lack of understanding as to preferring to start on a platonic level. It's the safest way to go, in my humble opinion ....
... and..'sex with a fat chick'? Could you possibly make that sound a bit more crass?
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 2:22:46 AM | | Maybe they're self-conscious of what people might think of them if they're with a fat chick? It's possible that these men are disgusted simply by the sight of someone who doesn't have a superb figure. The most likely scenario is these men are interested in pursuing something more than friendship lol. | |
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| Who here has been asked about his/her weight?
Posted: 5/21/2007 2:26:00 AM |
What if someone, having read in my profile that I'm just looking for friends, still wants to know my body size? What difference does it make if it's just for friends, and if the guy doesn't want just friends, why does he email me?
Because to some people its important what their friends look like too.
They dont want to be caught dead with someone they percieve as ugly.
Friends or otherwise. | |
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