| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/21/2007 10:50:30 PM | | I have found that most people that are single, are single because they expect to find a perfect person. Why is it these days people don't realize that they themselves are not perfect but expect a perfect person to be with? Has the days of learning to accept what you can get gone? | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 12:21:37 AM | I'll just skip every post you write for now on
the english isn't up to snuff | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:27:09 AM | | C'mon, there're people with much worse english who post, don't be a snot. You could have at least answered his question if you were going to post an insult (and Hires, you're not making yourself look any better by stooping to his level). Speaking of which... Sure, some people are way too picky, but that's not the only reason. Others (like me) are single because their SO cheated on them and they broke up reciently from a LTR. I'm sure there's many other reasons too, pickyness is only one of many. | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:38:38 AM | I am very picky.... and yes looking for my perfect guy...what suits me.. not everyone else.
As for me not being perfect well probably very true as well (but maybe I am to that certain guy, who will know himself). but why should I settle for second best, when I give 110% in effort?
that goes for finding the right guy, and myself as a person on a whole....
I have come to a point in my life where I probably could have "JUST" anyone!
But I know what I want and seek to get it, I also know a lot more about myself and in what I can give to someone on an even balance! So therefore why should I be the one putting in all the effort. Which I have done in the past.
Also if the guy is not right for me, then he will end up putting in all his effort without mine in return... (just the way I see it)
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 5:19:00 AM | | Yes,finding the "perfect" person is pretty hard. most want their ideal match immediately without having to take the time to get to know them 1st. Maybe it's the busy world we live in. I learned to take my time and get to know a person. If it doesn't work out,well maybe you had some good times. There'll be someone else eventually. | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 5:21:58 AM | Most of the people I chum with are married, so finding someone who is unattached and in my comfort zone is a bit limited. We all have baggage that we'd rather have dropped at the curb, but still carry around. I think that limits us a bit,because old hurts and slights often jade our future outlook.
It is hard to go looking and stretch yourself out of a place of comfort to possible rejection. So I guess it comes down to wanting or needing. If you "want "something, it will motivate you to find what you want, take the risk, and say to hell with it...let's do it.
If you "need" it to make yourself complete perhaps you should look a little closer at yourself and find in yourself what you hope to gain from another.
Pickiness is just a form of self presevation.
Inflexability is a result of too much baggage.
Perfection is unattainable.We're human after all.
Compromise is having both parties meeting in the middle.
I guess that's where I want to be ...and I can still dream my little dream..but touched with reality | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 7:48:14 AM | | Glad you said most people and not all people. I'm single and it's not a problem for me. Picky, maybe so...I know what I want my next go around. I'm not expecting perfection....only one man that's perfect for me. It takes time getting to know a person vs. jumping into a relationship for the sheer sake of having somebody. Some people get lucky hitting it off right away, life has no guarantee. In the meantime, I'll meet new people and make new friends. | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 7:58:46 AM | im saving myself for Charlize Theron.. but she NEVER returns my emails...sigh....
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:01:36 AM | Oh hell... I am the FIRST person to admit that I am not perfect, and what I seek is *perfection for me*. I have expectations of the person I am with, and standards that I wish to have met. Even the *perfect* partner for me isn't *perfect*... there are always little things that need to be dealt with. In the past I have *settled* (what you call learning to accept what you can get) for someone, and it's turned out badly for me, so why put myself, and now my children through that?? I damn sure won't do it to me, why do it to them?
I do not expect to meet a Brad Pitt, for I am not Angelina Jolie. I do however expect to meet someone who is respectful, considerate, mature (or at least know how to act mature and respectable when the time warrants it), employed, intelligent and able to carry on a conversation that does not revolve solely around NASCAR or basketball, etc. I won't settle for anything less then that, for that is the *perfection* I seek. And I am worth it. I can work around his not putting the toilet seat down, or leaving his dirty socks all over the place, and back hair. I just put up with rudeness, racism/bigotry, ignorance, abuse, etc. | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:05:10 AM | You found this - where did you find this - under a rock-
I dont think one person here expects to find perfect - they
expect to find compatable and trustworthy and genuine
and loving - thats all. Perfect - maybe thats what you are
looking for. | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:20:51 AM | If anything I definitely can admit I am not perfect. (Not even close!!) But .... I am looking for someone that is perfect for me. The first time for me (24 years of marriage) was not perfect. (Not even close!) I settled for what everyone thought was perfect for me. (Long story there.) Now this time around..... I will find that "Perfect" one for me. Does that mean he will be perfect? Hell no!! I am not looking for perfection in him.... But what I am looking for is a "Perfect Chemistry " Okay... maybe not totally perfect....but close | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 9:05:51 AM | | Indeed people should be accepting of others based upon their merit and learn to accept unconditionally, just as they would want to be accepted - makes life much more enjoyable and relationships easier to be involved in!! Perfect comes from your level of acceptance - there may be many, many more perfect people out there than you think!!!! | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 9:13:06 AM | after a long search i have found the love of my dreams
so i keep em in the celler
and feed them rice pudding | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 9:18:38 AM | Whether you are the kind of person that is waiting for that perfect match or not, you have to realize that when talking about people, there is no such thing as perfection. But, that's okay, because it doesn't matter. The thing is you have two distinctly different approaches to relationships: One approach is to simply try and fill the void and be with someone(s) that you can deal with, but might not be the kind of person you really, really want. These are the kind of people that don't want to miss the cuddling and consistent (notice I did not say constant) sex. The second approach is to be very, very picky, so picky in fact, that you manufacture problems with the person that might otherwise not really exist (these kind of people tend to do most of the dumping, but this is not always the case as the first group can sometimes be an aberration and do most of the dumping). Most people seem to fit into those two camps, whether they realize it or not.
You know, people talk a good game and claim that they are this or that, but the truth is most people (yes, really... most) don't see things impartially, especially when it comes to themselves. I've had someone say they have thought on things and know exactly what they want, what they don't want, and what they were doing wrong, and yet they obviously don't know what the hell they are talking about.
I want someone that I have some kind of affinity with... mentally, physically, and emotionally. To what degree? I honestly don't know, but I'm pretty sure when it happens, I'll know. I don't think that's a tall order, but it's not something that's just going to happen either. Because, there might be plenty of fish in the sea, but a lot of them might not like the bait I'm waving around. Or vice verse.
the giggleparts - I came, I saw.... that's it.... that's all I did. | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 10:10:20 AM | ^^^^^^^^ You are definitely right on the mark here | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 12:33:50 PM | | The last thing I want is a perfect dude ... there's far more value in finding someone who cares about you enough to pay attention to what you need ... and the perfect person wouldn't need to bother ... | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:02:51 PM | | I don't think that being patient makes any appear to think they are perfect. Being older and wiser seems to be more of the case. It takes time to get to know someone. | |
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:59:43 PM | being able to live with someone else's imperfections could make them perfect for you...
learning to accept what you can get? instead of what you want? we cant always get everything we want, but at least trying is what makes life worth living for... what kinda life would it be if you never went after what you wanted, but only what you thought you could get or someone convinced you that you could?
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| Dream a little dream
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:26:05 PM | I just want someone perfectly suited to my non perfect self .. accecpt me for the ***hole I can be and we could live happily ever after! | |
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