| Someone Please" HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 10:44:30 AM | I have a Thread under another Topic and man said he over heard
senior womens discussion about the divorce rate and the breakups and
how men & women walk away at the drop of a hat And the one lady said
They dont know how to control there man ! Is this a reality women ?
Can we control our men ? I am open for any suggestions or wisdom
and true stories ! Are we weak & do not possess the back bone to
fight for what we Love and who we love ? Is it really that difficult
for us to give and take ? | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 10:48:16 AM | Why would you -WANT- to control them? Are they your mate or your child?
You cannot change who someone is. They either make the change themselves or whatever temporary respite you may have gained will become just that - Temporary.
Wendy | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 10:55:13 AM | You control your man by means of his remote control. Take it away and he'll follow you everywhere and do anything to get it back.
Just kidding. I think. hmmmm | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 10:56:04 AM | I don't think you can "control" a person. Quite frankly, I sure do not want to nor want to be "controlled". I believe there is less of a commitment to the sacrament of marriage. Hence, why the divorce rate has increased versus during our parents/grandparents, etc......era.
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 10:59:33 AM | Um..... you don't control him.
If your man doesn't love you for who you are, and you don't love him for who he is, then it isn't worth it. If it becomes a question of control, it isn't worth it. You can't control your partner. You can't change your partner. All you can do is love him for who he is - love him on his own terms - and hope for the best. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:13:26 AM |
Are we weak & do not possess the back bone to fight for what we Love and who we love
Interesting question. I have no interest in MAKING a man do anything. If I guy exhibited controlling behaviors toward their woman she would be screaming abuse. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:18:47 AM |
HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN...And the one lady said
They dont know how to control there man ! Is this a reality women ?
Can we control our men ? I am open for any suggestions or wisdom
and true stories ! Are we weak & do not possess the back bone to
fight for what we Love and who we love ? Is it really that difficult
for us to give and take ?
Hell, I can't even control myself...let alone someone else. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:20:38 AM | Many women can and do control men.
It's subtle. It's the secret of letting him think he's in control, when he isn't. How many times will a guy let himself get guilt-tripped into going shopping or something when he really wants to be watching the football match on telly, or out working on his car? That's being controlled. 'Domesticated' is probably a better word.
Some men let themselves be controlled and justify it to themselves as 'compromise' for the sake of an easy life. Some don't. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:21:27 AM | | if it was the right relationship with the right person everything would sync up or easily resolved.............. the relationship you have with your husband or wife shouln't be work...... it should be, right | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:22:55 AM | I commented on the reverse of this in a different thread and got seriously flamed for it. ( was about men controlling women...) I was actually called a bitter, man hating hag because i asked the very same question I am about to ask here.
At risk of a repeat.... why do people feel a need to control others? Control yourself and respect the individuality of others. People are not chattle or property. We don't own them and therefore have no right to expect to control them.The only thing I can control in this world is myself and thats a big enough job .
There is one school of thought that claims....she who owns the P_U_S_S_Y controls the world......but who seriously wants a P-U-S-S-Ywhipped partner? I want a partner who I can respect and who can and will respect me. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:23:09 AM |
And the one lady said They dont know how to control there man ! Is this a reality women ? Can we control our men ? I am open for any suggestions or wisdom and true stories There are books I've seen reviewed that suggests that men can be trained much like dogs, by rewarding good behaviour etc etc. The female equivalent of the books on how men can get dates. The obvious question is why would you want to, the obvious answer is that you have a deep distrust and disrespect for men if you feel that this is something worth pursuing.
You can try to control someone, being manipulative, cunning or strategic. Anything from having a paddy and throwing things when he does something you don't like, to making his favourite meal when you want him to agree to something, or when he's done something you wanted him to, can be said to be manipulative. At the far extremes there are women who threaten to commit suicide if the bloke leaves. Degrees of emotional abuse.
Most people responding think it is entirely against the spirit of love and respect for another person to make any attempt to control them, and I agree. I agree so much with this sentiment that I think it worthwhile to look at the ways in which we might unconsciously limit the freedom of our loved ones, by the way we respond to them.. and look for how we can give them more freedom to be and express their much-loved and shining selves.
The lady who made the comment may well have been joking. If not, then I hope she wasn't in a relationship. Men get emotionally abused too, and it's very sad that this is not taken more seriously. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:31:35 AM | | You can't make them do what they don't want to ... as much as you might like to. If you want something you can control, get a puppy. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 12:30:49 PM | | Wow, if thats your outlook on relationships good ****ing luck finding someone. Its not about "controlling your man". Hell its not about controlling anyone. Its about a mutual effort to create and sustain a meaningful relationship. I think the problem stems from the way people date now a days. Its easy to throw someone aside or cheat on em and just chock it up to the fact that "hey at least we weren't married" and move on. If this is the way you view dating you will no doubt see marriage in a similar light. My two cents at least. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 12:43:00 PM | Those ladies you speak of....they were inflating their egos. They were feeling superior because they are not part of the divorce generation. They decided to take credit for that and make it sound like it was their own skill that saved their marriages. Do you REALLY believe those ladies control their men ? Or maybe, just maybe it was taken out of context ? But personally I think it was ego and lie.
And I have to ask what everyone asked.....WHY would you want to ? They have blow up dolls you can control !! | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:16:56 PM | Why would you want to control a man? If you have to "control" someone to keep them in a relationship, is it really a relationship anymore? Or has it just become a battle?
If I fall in love with someone it's because of who he is - the qualities he possesses, the person he is...not the person I hope to mold him into. I want him to stay because he loves me, not because I'm playing some control game to keep him tied to me. I'm being myself, giving of myself and hopeful I'll have chosen well who I fall in love with. Because if I have there will be no control games needed for him to want to stay with me. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:34:59 PM | | You can control someone if they allow you to. But wouldn't a fully evolved partner be preferable? Someone you can accept as they are? | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:40:11 PM |
Control yourself and respect the individuality of others. People are not chattle or property. We don't own them and therefore have no right to expect to control them.
Amen. I completely support you 100%!!!! | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:43:03 PM |
The lady who made the comment may well have been joking. If not, then I hope she wasn't in a relationship. Men get emotionally abused too, and it's very sad that this is not taken more seriously.
I made a comment about it. And IMO it's true. Any woman who manipulates & controls a man is doing nothing but abusing him. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:53:07 PM | As others have said so well, OPie, it's not a useful question. I would suggest you recast your questions in the singular. Not
Are we weak & do not possess the back bone to fight for what we Love and who we love ? Is it really that difficult for us to give and take?
But, instead, "Am I weak? Do I not have backbone? Is it really that difficult for me to give and take?"
Your questions are not about womankind, OPie. They are about you and you alone, just as your story is about you and not about everywoman. Ask them properly, and I'll bet more and better answers suggest themselves.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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g54cs
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 25 | |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:59:40 PM | no offense but if i were a man and you're trying to (control) me,
i'd be gone like the wind ..... we control animals, not people | |
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