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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?      Home login  
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 cecdwarfer
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 1
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I guess this has probably been covered before but I couldn't find any threads about it so you'll have to humour me. I was just wondering whether men prefer it if women come on to them in bed or whether they feel like the woman is being to pushy if they do this? What sort of things do men like women to do to get them going!
 e-wok
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 2
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:15:48 AM
I'm assuming you're describing a date, and if that's the case personally I'd
prefer the girl NOT initiate anything. It's better for the guy to persue
it and crash and burn than for a girl to persue and suffer the same
fate.
 TripleCP
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 3
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:16:13 AM
There are few things better than when a woman initiates sex. My last girlfriend would do things ranging from coyly entering my peripheral vision while naked to text messaging me "Get over here now and f*ck me."

Too bad great sex alone can only sustain a relationship for so long (in this case, for about six months after we realized that we were totally wrong for each other).
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 4
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:19:19 AM
If we're in a relationship or dating, I think it's great. If I ALWAYS have to be the one to initiate I'd start to wonder whether you really wanted to or were just humoring me. If you're just some stranger, it would probably be offputting unless I was quite drunk. What do we like you to do specifically? Pretty much anything that lets us know you want sex would work, like saying "how about we have sex".
 Missing Marble
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 5
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:27:07 AM
I tell ya...

If she's too eager, I may have to punish her.

"Draw a card from the punishment box...Right Now Missy!"
 Harry Harmony
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 6
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:28:35 AM
I know its a 50/50 thing but when your bird iniates it , by casually touching you an stroking you specially when we was out in the shops or pub. great
 _Big_Guy_
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 7
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:37:18 AM
Heh.... that's like asking guys if they like to breath...


What sort of things do men like women to do to get them going!


Pretty much anything that involves you being naked.
 lonestardaddy
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 8
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 8:08:01 AM
If women didn't initiate sex, most men wouldn't have a clue for when the red light turns green. My imagination runs wild for how my SO might signal me for 'It's a go ...and I better get a rise out of you', but hopefully she also has a wild imagination ...and a creative solution or two in mind already.
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 9
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 8:49:11 AM
What sort of things do men like women to do to get them going!


Unlike women, sex isn't as mental. And "get them going" isn't a requirement. Be present, be willing. We can be ready in about 0.4 seconds.

And yes, having her initiate sex is fantastic. It doesn't happen enough. And since I'm ready to go about 99% of the time, and she's ready to go about 3% of the time, I think it's beneficial for the person with the least flexiable schedule to do the scheduling.

I go hang out with a friend once a week. My schedule is pretty much the same on a daily basis. Hers is sporadic. She makes the plans, because I don't know when she's ready.
 h0ldfast
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 10
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 9:18:08 AM
As long as there is a reasonable degree of mutual pleasure and some allowance made for the man's pleasure and dignity, I doubt that many men would resent female sexual initiative. Sex is a team effort. Everyone should contribute and take an active role in ensuring the maximum achievable output. So, it's great if a woman initiates activities. If it's something she likes or wants to try, it won't happen unless she steps up to the plate.

As for what specific approaches to take, that will come with experience. It doesn't take much to get a guy going. Here are a few suggestions.
Reach out and touch someone
Take matters into your own hands
Climb aboard and take a ride
Tell him he's been a bad boy and assign him some duties to atone for his misdeeds
 northsideman
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 11
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:52:23 PM
I am still amazed how women claim to be independant and emancipated and come up with questions like this one (not a personal attack). You aren't the only one having that question. If you share in equality, then this also includes sex.
There is nothing wrong with a woman initiating a rough 'n rumble session. And there is no reason to wait until you get into bed either.
 Golden Ruler
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 12
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:10:04 PM
lol!!!! Men are ready 99% of the time!!!! This may be a generalization, but most gentlemen want to make sure you're comfortable, so they'll gauge your interest by what you say, body language, and other stuff...how good the guy is at picking the signals up and how many signals the girl is giving off. We're less intuitive, but more eager, I think.

A lot of guys also have a fear of rejection. Nobody likes that.
 TigerBlackHawk
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 13
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:13:20 PM
It would have improved my Marriage if my Ex ever initiated sex on more of a regular basis than once a month. She claimed to be a Nympho, I wonder why if she was such a Nympho I was never totally satisfied.
But she initiated sex with a lot of other men I was told.

By initiating sex to a man.. at least in my case.. it makes one feel desireable. Even us men want to feel sexy, attractive, desireable. And not just sex. Anything helps the relationship.
I give, or used to, been so long I probably can't do it anymore. But I used to give full body massages and she loved them. If she had just given a back massage she would have had me in the palm of her hand more often.
The massage not only would shown she loved me, but would done great on my sore back. I had to get my son to massage my sore back, now that is totally sad.

And I am not talking, doing it because he asked, but if she had initiated.
Relationships should be give and take, Not just all take. When your having sex both partners are active, not one laying there smiling thinking, I love when they please me.

You can intiate a lot more than sex. Find things that makes your spouse feel good, then do it for them.

And I prefer to Initiate sex more than my Spouse. So Imagine how it would been if she had initiated it more often. Maybe then she would be complaining about being a Nympho. Enough said, I think you got the point. Love isn't all "Take."
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 14
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:31:01 PM

There are few things better than when a woman initiates sex. My last girlfriend would do things ranging from coyly entering my peripheral vision while naked to text messaging me "Get over here now and f*ck me."


Hellz yeah. :p

It's wonderful to have a woman initiate intimacy.
Now, this is assuming you're both at that stage, and are ready for it.
I mean, I have no problems with a woman being the first one in the relationship to try and move things to a sexual level. As long as I know we're both ready.

And on the same note, while having a woman start things at any time is wonderful... I just hope that she can understand that sometimes, I'm not in the mood. No means no. Even for us.

Though I admit, the times that I'm not in the mood are pretty much once in a blue moon. :p

Kudos to any woman who can take charge. :)
 Vision45
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 15
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:42:04 PM
I like it when women initiate sex, but the signals I find women use to do this is very subtle, its usually a certain way they look at me... the come hither look.

For men, we do a little gropping to send women the signal.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 16
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:51:04 PM
Subtle? I remember coming home to my girlfriend, and just as I close the door I'm caught up in a kiss that made my heart skip a beat, followed by having my clothes rather agressively torn off, while being dragged to the bedroom and then thrown on the bed.

Subtle my ass. That was incredible.
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 17
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:23:13 PM
ummm... ok lets do this..

as long as its not to forward i don't mind..if it's flirty and leads to it.. then yeah!!!.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 18
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:35:40 PM
One girlfriend of mine had very creative ways to initiate sex. And i never said no. Once, i was shooting pool. She quietly came up behind me and just when i was about to crack the cue ball, my a$$ got grabbed. I almost put the stick thru the slate. Another time i was looking thru the tv guide. She thru away the guide and sat on my lap. I said i guess i am not watching tv tonight. She said i guessed right. And the were other times..........
 TheDevilsAdvocate
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 19
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:51:13 PM

And yes, having her initiate sex is fantastic. It doesn't happen enough. And since I'm ready to go about 99% of the time, and she's ready to go about 3% of the time, I think it's beneficial for the person with the least flexible schedule to do the scheduling.

Do I want to ask where you pulled this stat from?

OT: All I can offer (being female) is that all of my exes loved it whenever I initiated anything...sometimes the stereotypical concept of male responsibility in the romantic sphere is a bit too heavy to bear.

Maria XOXO
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 20
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:55:40 PM
The woman 100% of the time. No negotiations. Nothing like them being in a yeah I guess...hurry up and get it over with because I'm really not in the mood mood. This way if they don't initiate it, I know they are not interested.

Besides, like everything else human, any sexual need can be controlled on my part if she isn't interested...I'll wait...no problem...however if the lack of wanting sex is because she is using it as a weapon? She's screwed...actually not screwed. Sex as a weapon doesn't work on me.

(Sigh) I miss the "wolverine"....she scared the hell out of me...insatiable...but I'm not going back to Michigan!

Cheers!
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 21
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 9:41:54 PM
"Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?"

To me it would depend on the reason.

It is just part of a date to them - not a good reason.
Wanting me to be this weeks sausage - is not a good reason.

So far - the above two is what I ran straight into with ALL the girls I went out with (after being married most of my life).

So hot she is about to catch fire - good reason.

------

And for my side. I would need to really like her before I tried to ...... heat her up. Otherwise - she would not get much (read zero) schmoozing from me.

I am just not very interested in casual sex. Maybe someday I will be interested in it but - so far (4 years single) sex just for the hell of it don’t really make all that much sense to me. Sex just for the heck of it seems to be the norm out in the casual dating world - so - I stay home with my dog.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 22
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:46:43 PM

Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?


Most definitely BOTH.
 zvegas
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 23
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/25/2007 12:39:00 AM
Hi, here is my opinion on the matter...

During Dating:

I think it depends on the person, some people (both male and female) get used to being on one side of the "initiator" equation due to a combination of their attractiveness (or sexual appeal) and their bashfulness. The situation gets awkward when two of the same type meet.

Probably, good looking conservative people are not used to initiating (and will find it hard to do so) since they trigger their partner to act quicker then their conservative nature (or shyness) allows them to.

Throughout a relationship:

I think if the male is NOT the most common initiator there may be a lack of attraction. Yet, I think the female needs to be the "subtle instigator" and show her sexuality to her man so he knows she is attracted. But, due to chemical differences, ultimately the male should typically be more sexual.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 24
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Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/25/2007 3:32:49 AM
EWOK

Let's be honest......... after a good date how often do you think a woman "crashes and burns" if she iniciates sex???

If you feel it is the appropriate step......iniciate away

Most men if they are interested in more than a casual relationship defineately are often a bit hesitant to push the issue. Early iniciation seems to really be a deal breaker. We spend our time looking for clues (it's a pain)
 braindrain22
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 25
Do men like women to initiate sex or do they prefer to?
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:39:07 AM
Too much of a good thing always ruins it. To much initiation ruins it for me. Do it sporadically. I prefer to think of the female body as a privilege that only I get to see. The best way to keep a guy interested in you sexually is to not give it up so easily. If you make is special he'll think it's special.
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