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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 7:44:02 AM | | Last night, after 2 months of not hearing ANYTHING from my ex of 3 years at all since March 25, he text messages me, wanting me to come hang out. This has happened many times sinces we broke up last august, and he actually cheated on her 7 times with me until december. He claims it was his friends idea and that his friend got ahold of his phone...After the last encounter, his girlfriend threatened me and wanted to beat me up, etc. and SHE told me that if I called him or had any contact with him, she'd call the cops...so I never made any attempt to contact him these past months. and then last night, after he kicked his girlfriend out of the apartment, and told her not to come home, he wanted to hang out with me. Stupidly, I go, and The whole time I was there, she kept calling and calling and texting him...and he never once answered or anything. his friend drove my car, and i rode with my ex, because he wouldnt let me ride with his friend! when we got back to his place, he was telling me not to say anything to her, and i was getting angry, and then he slapped me in the face!! i was livid, and i was pretty tipsy, so his friend encouraged me to stay and sober up...then i get his sob stories about how hes not happy and he was moping around...finally, he was like he wanted to have sex with me, but he couldnt, etc etc...then i went home...i feel angry at myself for even have ever given this creep the time of day, but i dont understand why he calls me ever so often, wanting to see me and sleep with me, but then he says he loves her...why would guy act like this?! if you were in a relationship and in love, would you really want to hang out with your ex whom you want to sleep with?? | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:04:13 AM | Okay first off - he slaps you in the face - and you take it-
God why am I here -
and then second you are hanging out with him - fully aware of the
situation -
personally - I think you love the drama and attention. The guy slaps you
in the face. He should be in the Emergency Room getting his hand casted this
morning - You are all drunk and you carry on with him. Truthfully - you should
be angry at yourself for giving this creep the time of day - honestly, you are
very beautiful - you need to get some real self esteem and when he contacts you-
say no. Stay away from him. He is in a relationship and how he feels about
her is his problem - You are not his Dr. Phil to discuss his problems. He is your
ex and as much as you want to stay friends for whatever ungodly reason you have-
he puts his hands on you - I cant even believe you put up with this shit-
you are worried that he wants to sleep with you - that should be the least of
what you are thinking about- he slapped you - I cant get this through your head- he
is an abuser- get away from him. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:10:13 AM | While not the words i would choose curlygirl pretty much sums it well.
Abuser= stay away far away, if you reconsider then go further away. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:13:17 AM | I think maybe Jerry springer is lookin for this story......You knowening cheat with your Ex......... | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:18:39 AM | | OP, besides the fact that he slapped you - which means you should *never* talk to this person in any way, shape or form again, let alone be anywhere near him...this guy cheats on his gf with you, and you go along with it then wonder why he calls you but says he loves her? 1) he knows you'll put out whenever he calls to get some, 2) he knows you'll take whatever bad behavior he dishes out, e.g. abusive language and physical abuse; and 3) he's a creep. But he's not the only one to blame as you've gone along with this; it takles two, not just one...So instead of asking why *he* does this, ask yourself why *you* do it...and then tell him to get lost, unless you enjoy all this dramatic nonsense. But if you stick around, you might wonder who *else* he might be screwing around with besdies the gf, and make sure to take the proper precautions...no sense catching some STD you can't cure or that might make you sterile, if you're going to choose to continue to be a part of this mess. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:19:15 AM | | do ya'll think i should tell his girlfriend? and yes, the face slap thing was horrible and i understand abuse, and he probably does the same thing to her...i know he is abusive and out of control. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:35:28 AM | OP: Are you a contestant in the Little Miss Mini Drama pageant?
First time you posted about this guy you said were a roomate of a "friend who's bf had cheated on her seven times".
Then you posted about how you slept with him, and you were whining about how his new girlfriend was ripping you in a blog about what a 'ho you are and how ugly and stupid you are and wah wah wah.
Now you're saying YOU'RE the one he cheated with those seven times and you're still f ucking around with the guy !
Yep- definitely tell her-
then maybe he'll hit you again and then she'll blog about you more and then you can come back on here and post more embarrassingly stupid questions.
This guy is using you for booty calls-you're just a cum rag to him . He's not going to leave his new girlfriend for you.
Develop some self esteem, or....
Continue to make bad choices & then learn to live with the consequences of those choices.
JERRY -JERRY -JERRY
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:35:30 AM | Here is something I wrote about the Ex.... on my_space
So now you've went through all the motions of a breakup, from the lonely evenings alone to the drunken nights out with your friends, and you're ready to begin a new relationship with that hottie you've been eyeing for a while. But you're wondering how to go about forgetting your ex completely so that you can start this new relationship from a totally fresh perspective. Well here are 10 steps for your "wanting a new relationship" ass to take heed....
1. Accept reality, she/he is...GONE! (Like the mutaha ****ing wind)
This first step of course takes longer for some people than for others, depending on how serious the relationship was. Obviously, if you were living with your ex, you'll have a harder time accepting the breakup than if you only dated seriously for a few months.
But the sooner you accept the reality that she or he is not coming back, the sooner you can begin to move on with your new Mc-love. So stop that little voice from telling you that she/he's going to "come to their senses" and call you. Cause trust me, they are NOT going to call you.
2. Clear your head. Now I don't mean for this to sound "self-help-y" and shit, but you have to let go of the anger and hurt that you're feeling about your past relationship. If you don't, you will just drag it into the new relationship, which will spell titanic disaster. An example might be that you misinterpret your new love's behavior because of the ways in which your ex reacted. Or you may take out your latent anger toward your ex on your new love.Bad move, you must avoid this by just letting those feelings go and starting fresh.
3. Learn from your mistakes. Now that you've gotten rid of the negative emotions, you have to begin to view your past relationship as a learning experience. Think about why you broke up and the reasons you were incompatible. Not that fact that she slept with you boss and you where fired or he slept with your mom and mom's kicked you out of the house, none of that ok! Hahahaha, you know that shit was funny, but anyhoo back to the point at hand. By simply taking this extra step, you will ensure that you don't repeat the same mistakes that eventually led to your breakup, and you'll be that much closer to discovering the traits that really matter to you in a mate.
4. Talk to your new love. Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is a good idea to talk to your new "love" about your ex. That way, they will understand where you're coming from and they won't misinterpret anything you do or say.
However, don't go on ad nauseum about your ex because this will probably scare your new "love" away, and then you'll have to start this list of steps all over again. Plus you don't want to bombard them with your ex stories right off the bat!
5. Cut off contact with your ex (for a little while at least!)
Now the general consensus among people I've talked to seems to be that exes can't ever "just be friends." Although the optimists like myself know that it's possible to retain a good friendship with their ex (because I happen to have them), but the realists know that this is just not going to happen. There are always unresolved issues that cause former lovers to act in strange ways. So the faster you accept this as a truth, the better off you'll be. So stop calling them and showing up where you know they'll be, and focus your attention on your new "love".
6. Put the pictures away, for the love of satan...PLEASE!
Then while you're at it, collect all the memorabilia of your past relationship, such as, letters, clothing, sex toys, and any other trinkets that you amassed, and just throw them out... Ok maybe not the love machine 2000... But if you're the type of person that never throws anything away, at least put the shit in a box, close it and stash it in a closet or storage space.
7. Find a new favorite hang out spot. Try not to take your new flame to the same restaurants and clubs you went to with your ex, as this will only bring up memories of your times together and cause you to waste your energy thinking about your ex instead of your new Love". The best thing to do is find a new fun spot that neither of you have ever been to before and experience it for the first time together. Who knows, it may even become "your place."
8. Introduce your new "love" to friends and family. Introducing your new "love" to your friends and family will help you move on. When they begin to think of the two of you as a couple and forget about the **** or Manwhore you used to be with, it will be that much easier for you to do the same.
9. Don't compare your ex to your new "love", in anyway, shape or form, Period! Enough said!
10. Appreciate your new "love's" uniqueness. Focus on what makes them unique. How are they special? What do they do that no one else can do? Does she make Mr. Wiggles to the tango, does he make your legs wobble like Mchottie from Grey's Anatomy! So by answering these simple questions, you will be able to zone in on the qualities you love about your new flame and appreciate them all the more.
Just follow these 10 easy as hell steps, and you will not only forget about your ex, you will be in a position to enjoy your new "friend's" company even more. Now ****ing get to it **** face!
Cristian | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:12:42 AM | As a guy, I can honestly say this one is after anything he can get. Anytime, anywhere, anywhen, is his motto. He will keep calling as long as he believes his bad behaviour will get him some sex. He will keep abusing you as long as you take it from him.
You will keep taking it until you do 2 things:
1) Stop sleeping with these charming losers.
2) Start dating decent men.
As long as these losers see that you are used to dating losers, or used to and are not dating a decent man, they will keep assuming you will date them, if they try hard enough.
Decent men are easy to spot, because every woman who has a boyfriend likes them, because he treats them with respect despite the fact that he has no chance, and because he does not hit on women who are not single. Even the guys with a woman like them, because they can relax and know that this guy will not get between try to steal their girlfriends. The only types of guys and girls who do not like these gentlemen are the users, because he makes them look bad, and shows them up to be the jerks that they are.
Quite simple really. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:28:37 AM | I agree totally with Curlygrl
You, your ex, his girlfriend and his friend sound ridiculously immature and you all clearly love over-the-top drama.
Either get some help to get over whatever it is that drives you to participate in this nonsense and forget about trying to control the behaviour of the others...
Or else continue and don't bother to waste everyone's time with a bunch of boohoo threads! | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:37:56 AM | | i got abused last night = i put my self in that position, it has happened before, and therefore,im not looking for sympathy. I guess part of me wanted to see him, wanted to show him that how much better ive gotten since we were together..and i dont know what else. I know I dont want to be with him, but its like i wanted to talk to him...in a matter of 3 hours, I got called a whore, a psycho **** when he was swerving all over the road and then he punched my leg, i got slapped, groped and asked if i wanted to ****...i now know that I never want to relive those old hell days again - i have nothing more to say to him. i guess it was just a weak drunken moment...how do i prevent myself from seeing him in the future when im buzzed and feeling those old feelings..? | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:38:04 AM |
do ya'll think i should tell his girlfriend?
Oh, yeah, definitely. Tell the woman who threatened to beat you up that you were sleeping with her boyfriend. Great strategy. 
Does the phrase "glutton for punishment" mean anything to you? | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:40:58 AM | unfortunaltey your learn one day, show him the door an tell him to feck off.  | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 10:53:33 AM | Show him how much better you have gotten since you have
been together- Oh sweet MOTHER OF GOD!!!!
Are you out of your f*cking mind -
Honey - you have some serious self esteem issues going with this guy-
Do not go near this guy and do not get drunk and go near this guy-
Listen -
You are 24 years old - Honey, time to grow up and take account of
how people treat you. You are allowing his bad behavior towards you-
I suggest you lay off the partying and alcohol and go find yourself -
and a nice guy. Stay away from these people - and dont do anything
with the girlfriend. Just back off- | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:00:30 AM | .and this is the type of guy you like to be with? I think you sum up what sort of jerk he really is or was that both of you? I am being realistic about your situation here.
"...but i dont understand why he calls me ever so often, wanting to see me and sleep with me, but then he says he loves her...why would guy act like this?!"
He knows how to push you around and by your action in your post supports that. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:00:38 AM |
do ya'll think i should tell his girlfriend?
Tell his gf what/ That he cheated on her? What's your motivation for telling her? To warn her...or to get back at him?
i have nothing more to say to him. i guess it was just a weak drunken moment...how do i prevent myself from seeing him in the future when im buzzed and feeling those old feelings..?
Prevention: don't have any more weak drunken moments...you're not a child; you're a 24 year-old adult...it's time to start acting like one...Don't take any email, IMs, phone calls, from this guy...cut him completely our of your life. And then go out and find a guy who's not a loser; that will also help ensure you don't have any weak, drunken moments with this nightmare ex. Just the thouight of what he's done in the past should prevent you from talking to him, let alone wanting to spend any time with him...no matter what condition you're in. For the record, I don't buy any excuses that "I was drunk" from anyone about anything; being drunk simply gives us the freedom to do what we want and blame it later on being 'too drunk'' even though we know what we're doing the whole time. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:07:27 AM | | I know...being drunk is not an excuse...and I was really doing very well before all of this- having fun with my friends, and really pulling my life together, and then all that bs happened last night, and now i feel like im right back where i started...i'm so mad at myself. i ended up telling the girlfriend, and she wanted more proof - i gave it to her, then she proceeded to say, i dont care, leave me alone...this creep gets away with EVERYTHING. i think this girl actually has it worse that i did. i guess i just dont remember what a good man is anymore... | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:16:33 AM | OP, hey, we all make mistakes...that's one way we learn ;) Don't beat yourself up about it; simply say ok, it happened, it's not going to happen again, and move on from it. You can't change what already happened; you can only deal with today and what comes in the future...and the choices you make are yours. If he does call, simply think about how you feel now, and that should help prevent you from wanting to be with him. Frankly, any guy that can abuse a woman like that doesn't deserve any respect; what he deserves is to be arrested for abuse.
As far as the gf goes, I could have told you she wouldn't believe it...she won't even believe it when she first sees it for herself...but that's her problem, and she'll have to deal with it as it unfolds. As for you, you need to figure out what you want in a relationship, what aspects are important to you in a partner (consideration, intelligence, respect, non-abusive, etc.) and you need to be happy with you before you get into a relationship with anyone else. You have plenty of time ahead of you; learn to enjoy your life, to be happy with who you are, learn from the mistakes, figure out what you really want, and then go out there and find it. Best of luck to you  | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:42:23 AM | I vote this an "attention seeking" post.
I can not imigine you being more concerned about why he would want to sleep with you than you are about his physical abuse of you. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:47:14 AM | I think I saw this episode of Jerry Springer.
He calls you because you lack the self respect and dignity it takes to say no.
Perhaps it's time you re-evaluated your behavior for a happier result.
Wendy | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 11:52:32 AM | ...i know he is abusive and out of control.
------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU KNOW ALL THIS AND YET YOU WANT TO CARRY ON WITH THIS DISTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP--- been there done it only gets worse-- DON'T DO IT | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 12:11:06 PM | I think I agree with msg 19. This smells of attention seeking.
I just don't understand how so many women can have so little self esteem. I mean I can understand making the mistake ONCE having sex with him again, but this man hit you, and has done it in the past. And you still go out with him.
You are a very pretty young woman, you should be finishing school, preparing for a wonderful future. Instead you still want this type of crap. Honey look in the mirror and ask yourself "is this what I want in life?" | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 12:26:09 PM | Do you think he is worth any of this? Even without the other girl in the picture is this honestly someone you'd want to build a life with? Sounds like everyone in the picture, including you need to grow up. You are at his beck and call, allow him to abuse you and then play victim to the girlfriend he admits he loves...whatever. Unfortunately you sound like the type to keep letting yourself get into this situation over and over again, I sincerly hope not. Good Luck.
C~ | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 12:34:14 PM | i ended up telling the girlfriend, and she wanted more proof - i gave it to her, then she proceeded to say, i dont care, leave me alone...this creep gets away with EVERYTHING.
You realize, do you not, that this "creep", who has already physically abused you, will soon know (if he doesn't already) that you've told his girlfriend that you've slept with him? You've potentially pissed off someone who has no qualms about hurting you.
My advice to you: begin taking steps to protect yourself. Now. | |
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| The ex..
Posted: 5/25/2007 1:07:28 PM | I am almost speechless. You need to cut this guy out of your life and find someone who builds you up, not drags you down. In fact, you really shouldn't even be thinking about a relationship right now at all. You should take this time of singleness to reflect on who you are and what you want out of life. You have to love yourself before you can truely love someone else, otherwise it is all a facade (fake). You are beautiful, and you deserve so much more.
Why does this guy keep calling you? Because he wants to keep you on the back-burner by making you think there is hope for you to be together. You're his back-burner b*tch for when his current girl isn't giving him any or he wants to punish her by being with someone else. What an *ss.
You really threw me on this one, though.
...this creep gets away with EVERYTHING.
So, you didn't tell his girl about his cheating to help HER, you told her so that she would PUNISH him? Is she his mother? That was SELFISH. You wanted her to punish him for what he did to YOU, not her, preferably by breaking it off with him so you could have him ! (you shouldn't even want a scumbag like that) Then you get upset because your plan backfires, she tells you to get lost (rightfully so) and doesn't think you're Mother flippin Theresa? PLEASE!
Does this sound logical to you? You need to stay FAR, FAR AWAY! | |
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