| I might of came out strong
Posted: 4/29/2005 6:28:30 AM | To everyone out there I might of came out strong with the last post " why do men base women on there looks" I am sorry if I got anyone mad I was only in my feelings when I post that. and the reason for that is I had talk to this one guy and he said something to me that really got to me and this other guy I was talking to for a month in the yahoo im and he called me I thought he was the one and when he came over on tuesday and when he saw me he got quiet did not hardly say a word and all at once he said he had to go. and that got to me and I tryed my luck agine and other guys told me almost the same thing your too fat honey but they don't see I am loseing wight. I know not all guys don't judge women on there looks it is like a 50, 50 thing like 50% men do judge women on there looks and the other 50% of men don't. I got emails and a phone call from a guy from here who just want to be friends witch I think thats cool. I am a nice person really I am.. and Iknow women do judge men on there looks too but me I don't judge anyone on there looks it is based on how you treat that person... well I want to thank everyone for there comments and I hope I did not p off anyone from that post sorry if I did.well I gotta go may god bless you aand keep you.
Jerri | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:04:33 AM | | Hey, Jerri, You know, some guys can be total pigs. I just moved from Washington to here in North Carolina about 6 months ago. I got extreamly depressed and gained alot of weight! I've never weighted so much, even when I was pregnant. Not one guy has approached me! Though I did meet a guy from this site about two weeks ago and I beilieve the only reason I have a chance with him IS because I'm a little bigger. But he pulled some crap last night which got me thinkin' he's a pig too! He's no TOM CRUISE! I was drawn towards him because he brought me a rose and did everything a real gentalman should. Last night My whole family left to go see my brother for Family day because he juts got out of Basic Training for the Army. I stayed behind because I had a real speical night planned for my boyfriend. Guess what!? HE DIDN'T COME OVER!!!! He KNEW damn well what I gave up to see him, then he pulled that crap! So yeah, men can be pigs. I'm not saying ALL men, but a majority of them turn out to be one. Now sorry guys, if I HAVE offended any of you. I know some of you are real sweethearts. But other men just seem to ruin it for the rest of you because of their ways. | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:33:05 AM | | That is sooo true! one man or 2 might give all guys a bad name and we sit here thinking all men is noo good but really there are some good men out there like my brother-in-law he loves my sister with all his heart and he is sooo kind... and next time girlfriend when yall plan a famliy day with your brother go don't stay behind anymore and sorry to say but he is a a#$ hole for doing that..... well I gotta go,,,, thankyou for your post | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 4/30/2005 12:34:43 PM | Hey guys, I just wanted to say this. Im not a tiny girl. ive had the same problems you guys have. Guys that are just plan out jerks and figure because your a lil on the bigger side that you have nothing great to offer them. Well I have had plenty of great guys in my life before. And I know for a fact that all the guys are going to freak out when they read this, but girls if you want a really sweet, honest guy in your life, get a gay best friend. Thats what I have. He treats me with the upmost respect he holds doors for me, takes me out for dinner, plus when it comes down to it, hes the greatest guy to check out other guys with.  I mean its funny when u actually stop looking for that special guy, he shows up when u least expect it. And the even funnier thing is, it really happens. Ive realized that some man will love me for all that I am not what I look like or if I have a lot of money.And he should except me anyways I am. If I decide to go lose weight to make myself feel better I would rather have the support from him then having him telling me I should. Yeah there has to be some sort of chemistry between you and someone else. Thats a given, but cmon now, to come over and hang out with you and then all of a sudden leave, what happened to being plain out nice and respectful. I hate men like that. But dont worry I am sure you will find someone who will give you the world like you should have it. Everyones got something special about them, it just takes a real man to figure what it is about someone.... | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 5/1/2005 12:41:56 PM | jerri,
I for one believe you are very judgmental and guilty of what you **** about.
Just what are you doing in this pileOfish, just grabbing at attention with these self pity articles you write? cwc | |
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rc3
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Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| I might of came out strong
Posted: 5/2/2005 9:15:28 PM | I joined this site recently because I basically "declared" myself over my divorce.... and one thing I have noticed is that many of the women here don't get it ... Some men are jerks... But they only seem like the majority because the average man is completely indifferent about 90 percent of his surroundings unless he has a specific reason not to be... One thing most women do not get is that a guy can get hit on by 20 women in a night and have no idea it is happening... Then when he actually cares he notices every single one.... Women see the few jerks and don't acknowledge that they barely know all the other guys around at the same time.. (be it at work at school.. or even online)... Then they automatically assume all the guys are the same... They aren't.... But they may be very much so indifferent to your entire existence at that exact moment....
You want to know why women seem to choose jerks? Because the guy who is actively looking comes into contact with quite a few more women... He throws out more pickup lines... and thus he picks up more women... and so more women get screwed over by this minority of men than any other group... I have personally watched a friend hit on every single girl in the bar of the course of a night... when asked why by the bartender he simply stated "I can get shot down all night.. it only takes one to say yes"... And of course we all know that one is the one who will be screwed over...
I have learned alot about men in general since becomming divorced... (and you would think after being one for my entire adult lifetime I would have little to learn... who knew?).. I had one guy at work actually tell me that since my divorce was completely not my fault that I should sleep with 20 women to "make them pay" for the one bad girl.... Now seriously, how much of a low self esteem does that require? But he has been in the process of an ugly neverending divorce for 2 years, and that was how he was dealing with his apparently disfunctional ability to cope with his own situation....
But, do men care about looks... yeah... so do women.... Not all guys are jerks about it... and not all guys like the same things... I personally have been with both tiny and huge women.... I like women in the middle... But, I aim for fairly athletic women now... You want to know why? Because it is better for my health to be with someone active.... No other reason.... I actually do not like them as much as women who are a bit overweight... I just really don't like myself overweight and being with a couch potato makes me into one....
Don't let guys in general get you down.... But, at the same time... Do lose some of the weight... Many overweight women tend to be extremely self conscious... and NOTHING is more annoying than listening to someone with low self esteem.... So if you lose some of the weight that will be reassuring and help that self esteem quite a bit... But, to reassure you a little bit... you do need to know that many guys out there have had to battle weight problems too... and so many guys do understand that it is tough....
Keep trying.... you will find a guy, but deal with the reason you get frustrated and write on this forum... If weight has been a problem... work on it.... If you are being too nice (which by the way it sounds like you are)... then stop.... Do not reschedule events because of a date.... schedule dates around... etc... | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 5/4/2005 12:54:11 PM | | Please don't take this the wrong way, I will try to say this as nicely as I can. I think your problem may be the way you carry yourself. You don't come off as the most confident of people. I am about your age and have strugled with my weight since high school but what I haven't strugled with is finding a date. Before we get into why I'm on here, I found the site by accident and thought why not. This is only my second day here. Anyway, when I was heavier I never had a single person say anything derogatory to me about me or my weight. I have always thought I was/am beautiful and if someone didn't agree that was there loss not mine. I had a gastric bypass and lost 100 pounds. I went from a size 28 to a 16. I still have 40 pounds to lose and I honestly don't care if I lose it or not because I am really happy with me. I am much healthier now and that is what matters. If I'm not a man's type that's just it I'm not his type and again that's his loss because I am a great person to be around. I ready your earlier post and to the dude that said fat chicks make ugly unhealthy babies, let us all hope he doesn't reproduce because that is the most ignorant statement ever. You are an attractive woman, but no one will see that unless you believe it first. Trust we when I go to Walmart I see quite a few unattractive big girls with attractive men! So if they could hook a man I know you can because you've got one up on them you're pretty. I do wish you all the best just work on the inside while you are working on the outside. | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 5/4/2005 8:03:15 PM | Jerri,
Speaking from a guys point of view, you are 100% right. Alot of guys are jerks, and can't see past un-important things. I am far from the best looking guy in the world, so I too know how you feel, I have been rejected by many women based on looks.
The important thing is to not allow the comments of one person hurt you. You are a beautiful person, I know this because beauty is found in all people. Beauty is not skin deep, it is that special light that flows from your heart and soul. Beauty is the magic that makes each person unique, because no matter what a person looks like, at least one other person in the world, someone each person will someday meet will consider you the most beautiful woman they have ever met.
I hope you feel better, dispite that persons comments.
- Daniel
p.s. Here's a Hug to make you feel better  | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 5/4/2005 10:31:13 PM | | Nothing is more generalized than the breaking down of the opposite sex. One man can set stereotypical standards for every man alive in a woman's view, and vice versa. | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 10/8/2005 10:44:51 PM | | Thankyou Daniel for your comments and to all that have left there comments it really means alot to me thankyou! | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 10/9/2005 5:50:02 AM | | I would offer to not take every single contact so seriously until you have talked to them over time and given them a chance to prove themselves (and the same goes for you, prove yourself to them!) You said you talked to a guy on yahoo and the first time he called you thought he was the one?? It just doesn't happen that way. One of my favorite thoughts from a book I read is 'Be old enough and patient enough to accept kinds of love, seasons of it. Be quiet in your soul, so that when love comes again, if it ever does, you will know'. | |
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| I might of came out strong
Posted: 12/22/2005 8:54:44 PM | Jerri: I have been very slim all my life. Often people would tell me I need to gain weight. I always attracted guys that prefer slim girls and said so. Now I am 15 lbs overweight in my eyes, some people dont think so, but I am still falling for the guys that say I need to lose weight!
I think it is good for your health and self esteem to excercise and keep in good shape and I wouldnt give up on a guy, just cause he prefers slim women. You may want to slim down.
I do not like overweight men. If I am not attracted to the person, we may as well just be friends if they are nice. Why not have your cake and eat it too? Dont limit yourself. There are goodlooking people who are nice. | |
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