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 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 1
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFEPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I am a single male. I am divorced and happily single is a better way to put it. I am also an Aquarian, fiercely independant in all ways. I have one daughter still at home and one on her own. I love my own company, and don't feel the "need" to have a relationship. It's about accepting the single life, and being happy with your choices/decisions about it. Love to hear how others feel about this .
 racefan529
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 2
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 8:30:41 PM
i think being single can be fun as long as you have friends you can trust and depend on.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 3
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 9:16:21 PM

I am also an Aquarian, fiercely independant in all ways.


Me too, lol..

I go through phases of accepting it and of really not liking it.. especially when there seems to be a shortage of other single people to hang out with!! Lol..

But right now I accept it :)
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 4
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 9:16:48 PM
oops, lol..
 tig53
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 5
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 9:22:53 PM
Fiercely independant, I'm with you. Still one daughter at home? I like to be alone but don't like to feel alone. Not feeling the "need" to have a relationship is alot different than feeling alone. You haven't felt alone yet. Wait until that last daughter leaves. I'm not saying its a bad thing cause thats the way its supposed to happen. So Mr. Aquarian, take some time for yourself then find someone you dig, "for yourself." Noone says we NEED to, just makes it all a little bit better. Share the love.
 eazk
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 6
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 9:41:06 PM
Dumb question......why are 3 out of 4 of the previous posters including the guy who started the thread not from Ohio? Is the Ohio forum that popular that people from all over want to post here?
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 7
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/26/2007 11:20:50 PM
eask...in my neck of the woods, we get people on our forums from all over the world, and we welcome them with open arms. I'm sorry if my thread post has offended you. It was not meant to do so.

on topic....this Aquarian has never felt alone, and seldom feel lonely. I have always had an active life. I have had my share of relationships in the past, but now I just love being single. I have been divorced for a long time, and have only dated a few times for short periods of time. The interest dies very quickly, so I stopped dating over three years ago because I didn't want to hurt anybody. I just prefer to be off doing my own thing. I still play a big part in my daughter's lives. I also have a grandaughter who is two and a half, and another on the way.
 dysoleray
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 8
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 1:23:54 AM
i accept it for sure, i believe the reality that is my life!! i have my job and i support myself 100%.I've had to take care of myself since i was 15 financially,emotionally,physically.When i read the acceptance of another in regards to living the single life i appreciate it,but sadly for myself i don't accept it for my own!Your right there is absolutly nothing wrong with accepting outright and wishing for nothing more because ..well if the shoe fits..lol.But a ton of those people have kids that they concentrate there love towards and they need no more and for them its great, but with a single guy like myself who has burnt the last ten years working ,more than anything ,and has no kids to concentrate on, i can't resolve myself to accepting the single life.Mind you i'm not the type of guy who clearly wants to have kids of my own per say! But again, it's been a long time since i came home to a beautiful woman that cared for me,someone i can rely on to make me feel warm and fuzzy after a hard day!everyone deserves that feeling.That feeling, you won't ever experience that feeling resolving yourself to the single life! i don't know! sometimes a guy has to be greedy an want just a bit more! call me greedy!
 dysoleray
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 9
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 1:31:56 AM
but in true honesty towards that last post , 100% of my freinds are engaged or married and are begining their new lives.Finding a singles moment for me to open up with out it being a couples fest is getting unexplainably harder and harder,especially when the work i do never relents.Sometime all a guy wants is that girl to remind him he's worth more than what he does for a paycheck.making the big paycheck isn't worth anything unless you have someone special to spoil.i'd rather spend a million on my girl than $3,000.00 on a useless big screen!
 CrimsonKimono
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 10
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:48:53 AM

Dumb question......why are 3 out of 4 of the previous posters including the guy who started the thread not from Ohio? Is the Ohio forum that popular that people from all over want to post here?


Jim (who gets a "U" on his grade card for "Gets along well with others" on this thread), I invited mandrake to post here, even asked him to write on this topic title since he is very comfortable with his single life. I think it is exciting to have people from all over the world posting in Ohio. Keeps us from getting ingrown and expands our knowledge of "wassapening." Anyway, welcome to all posters!

Perhaps a lot of us will have to accept the single life as the years mount up and the possible mates become farther and farther in between. I was curious as to Mandrake's take on this subject and how he feels satisfied.

I continue to wonder if I will be single for the rest of my life. How can I become satisfied with that? I guess I am not yet able to let go or am willing to replace that with something else.
 kasie
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 11
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 5:59:31 AM
Untill I find someone that "rocks my world" in all aspects...I will keep going just the way I am...single..and Im okay with that..after a while you think about the possibility of getting involved with someone and WONDER how its going to fit into your so nicely organized life..

example = watching my tv show sitting in my undies..(my remote) I don't feel like doing laundry today or cutting grass..whatever the scenario.. I dont have to WORRY about what anyone wants..thinks or feels because its MY TIME... (downside) you still go to bed alone..nobody to say good morning to when you wake up..no one to talk too when your feeling lonely or down..thats just my thought.. so I stay the way I am in my single life until I find the one that makes me want to change those things..to be happy to do this or that because I care enough to do those things for someone special..I love spoiling my man but it has to be because we are special to one another..

 The Right Stuff
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 12
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 9:07:30 AM
I've certainly "accepted" it, but it doesn't mean I "like" it. Having said that, like others have said in this and other threads, I'm not going settle in order to not be single.
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 13
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 9:40:32 AM
I dont accept the single life its sort of been forced upon me LOL

Id love to be with some woman. If they can ever get over their pickiness.

That said Im just a guilty as they are.
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 14
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 9:46:11 AM
One of the things that is important in my life is that I don't "need" someone else to "make me happy". Nobody else can "complete me". I am a complete person and happy in or out of a relationship. I am not without faults, shortcomings or defects. But I work on them all the time. I live by a simple premise, that I will try to be the best person I can be each and every day, and I will try not to hurt another human being to the best of my ablity.

I am very in tune with my spiritual guide, or higher power, as I call it. That is one of the reasons I never "feel" alone. I do have my moments when I feel the lack of "touch", but that is fleeting and rare.

My sexuality, or desire for "human touch", is sometimes a difficult emotional tussle. But I resolve that by knowing that to be satisfied sexually, means using another human being for that purpose. And that is not acceptable for me. Therefore, self gratification is the only way to avoid using someone, or perhaps hurting them. But that is my way, it's not for everyone.
 mudflap1979
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 15
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 1:37:18 PM
Single life seems to suit me right actually, No one to worry about except me can come go as i please can buy what i want i think iam very adjusted to being single. And so far it looks like iam going to stay that way for awhile.
 OhioLady59
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 16
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 2:41:01 PM
I do what I want, when I want. I'm not responsible for anyone but myself. I don't have to answer to anyone for anything, except at work.

But...

There's not one person on this planet besides me who knows where I am right now or what I did today. That gets to me sometimes.
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 17
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:03:12 PM

There's not one person on this planet besides me who knows where I am right now or what I did today. That gets to me sometimes.


Lemme guess, you were sitting in front of a PC!

Same thing here, not really that anyone cares.
 OhioLady59
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 18
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 5:21:05 PM

Lemme guess, you were sitting in front of a PC!


Wow, you're good!

Now, what was I doing the rest of the day?
 gpb1953
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 19
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 7:55:17 PM
I too am a single male and I am in the process of getting used to it. I was married for a very long time ... 30 yrs before my divorce a little more than 3 yrs ago. Coincidently I too am an Aquarian. I have two adult children ... a daughter with a family of her own and a son who recently graduated from college and is currently attending a local police academy in preparation for his new career as a police officer. The last 10 yrs of my marriage were very difficult so I am very comfortable with my decision to end my marriage. However, I have to admit I really struggle with being alone. I really miss having someone special in my life. Evertime something special happens in my life my first instinct is still to rush to the phone. Then I remember ... I have no one to call. I think that's one habit that is going to take some time to break.
Good topic!
Gary
 funnygirl9380
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 20
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 8:23:18 PM
This is a great post and I think the "posting from outside Ohio" is no big deal. I always read forum posts from other states, etc. I learn alot and being a very opinionated girl it gives me the opportunity to be opinionated all over the USA !!!!

The post locally have been pretty mundane lately. The same people seem to post all the time. Sometimes I feel like I am crashing a private party, so I say...

WELCOME to fresh ideas.
 ColsOh1
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 21
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 9:40:43 PM

watching my tv show sitting in my undies..


Whoo hoo ...

Kathy, can I come over and watch TV with you?

 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 22
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/27/2007 9:56:23 PM
But a ton of those people have kids that they concentrate there love towards and they need no more and for them its great, but with a single guy like myself who has burnt the last ten years working ,more than anything ,and has no kids to concentrate on, i can't resolve myself to accepting the single life.Mind you i'm not the type of guy who clearly wants to have kids of my own per say!

I kinda thought & was this way when I was your age myself, & I though someday I would meet someone who would accept me & things would just fall into place ... boy was I wrong!

I spent more time working gave up socializing to find myself single & friendless 10- 15 years down the road.... time does slip away.

100% of my freinds are engaged or married and are begining their new lives.Finding a singles moment for me to open up with out it being a couples fest is getting unexplainably harder and harder

& they soon will be your friends no longer.

Sometime all a guy wants is that girl to remind him he's worth more than what he does for a paycheck.making the big paycheck isn't worth anything unless you have someone special to spoil

I used to make the bigger paycheck myself, though with the downturn of the economy, that is pretty much gone.... I used to be better looking & make a lot more money, so where does this leave me now? Face it, girls like money, & you will constistantly be having to buy their affections.... so I'd like the bigscreen at this point (Last year I finally bought a new 20 inch color TV!... now that I have time to watch it)

Again most of you are single by choice, you are DIVORCED, where a few of us are & were always & forever single.

Now, what was I doing the rest of the day?

I haven't a clue OhioLady1959, (sitting in front of a PC still?) but then again I really didn't do anything worthwhile myself.... (but no one knew or cared about it!)
 LadyGeorgie2
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 23
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:41:54 AM
I find OP's post and probing a bit refreshing...

Nobody else can "complete me". I am a complete person and happy in or out of a relationship. I am not without faults, shortcomings or defects. But I work on them all the time..
I definitely agree with this. IMO To seek out a relationship to fill a longing or emptiness is not only destructive to myself but to the "one" who can never fill that place...

I find that possibly we were made for relationships - of different kinds. In those relationships we can learn more of who we are and where we could use some growth. Growth, however, can cause pain (hence growing pains). I wonder if accepting a "single life" is truly a way to avoid pain. Therefore, I may not ever become who I truly could be. (maybe a bit deep- but being single...I have plenty of time to ponder)

I'm divorced with kids. Had destiny not taken me in that direction and I only had my childhood relationships as a guiding point for life, I'd be a much different person.

I wonder if for some there is a final realization that there is an internal drive to give for the sake of giving. To love merely to love - not to receive. Until one comes to that point they cannot be at peace. One could come to this realization whether, single or married.
 kasie
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 24
ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:34:21 AM
Sure Dana...you bring the popcorn...(no cheese) After all its only undies...
 ColsOh1
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 25
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ACCEPTING THE SINGLE LIFE
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:59:34 AM
Ya know, popcorn has a way of ending up in places we've never imagined.

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