| My " Two Cents "
Posted: 5/27/2007 6:59:15 AM | | Well, I’d have to say this is the first time I’ve written my first forum so please, be nice on the feed back, that is if there is any. I’ve been on POF off and on now for a while, every time I log in I can’t help but read some of these. Some of them are quite good, others, well, lets just say they’re a good laugh. People tend to talk about personal experience they’ve had in the dating world, some sad, some with a happy ending. Granted my experience in the so called dating world isn’t as vast as most but I’d like to say I’ve learned a thing or two along the way. Out of everything I’ve learned along the way, I’d like to think being happy with your self is most important first step in having a good relationship. If your not happy with yourself then how in the hell are you going to make someone else happy? I’m a firm believer in the saying “Nice guys finish last”. Now weather or not that’s a fact of life, who knows. Another thing people talk about is if looks are important. In a way I don’t think it’s so much the looks, but certain features a person looks for. You hear people say all the time it’s the personality they like in a person more then their looks but one thing you have to realize is the looks came first. Looks always come first, it’s the way a person looks that attracts them to you, not the personality. If you weren’t attracted to someone by their looks then what was it, it couldn’t be their personality because you can’t tell a persons personality based off of their looks. So I guess when you get right down to the point, you could say looks aren’t everything. I wouldn’t be the first to say that I’m not the best looking guy on POF, but I’d like to think I have my own uniqueness that separates me from the rest. If you didn’t think about anything I wrote before this, take the time and think about this, if there’s attraction towards someone who messages you, any at all, take the time to get to know them. Look for a person uniqueness as to each carries their own. You never know what it might be. Be happy with yourself before you try to make someone else happy. Good luck to all the fish in the pond, hope you all find what it is your looking for. | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/27/2007 7:07:16 AM | Jensen,
Bravo! I can't understand how a person who dislikes him/herself thinks that other people should like him/her. | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/27/2007 7:11:44 AM | I agree with most of what you said... didnt care for the "nice guy" comments. As for me, I didnt care to find someones uniqueness... I was more interested in finding a emotionally stable, healthy, gainfully employed man with good sense and some emotional maturity. I eventually did find him but you can take all those "unique" characters I found before the right one came along.....and shove them right down a giant tiolet bowl.
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/27/2007 8:36:25 AM | | There are times that talking on the phone and emailing gives you insight into the personality of the person, so in that sense I do believe that you can be attracted to someone just by the way they talk to you, and what they say. As far as being unique? I guess it would depend on the person attracted to that special thing about you. I have been told that I am unique in some ways, so celebrate your differences. And enjoy liofe to its fullest. | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:42:43 PM | I thought that was quite a well-thought out and articulate post.
I am saddened by the fact that so few people have figured out that you have to be happy with yourself first-no one can do it for you. In fact, I've had to break off my last 2 relationships because of it. I still keep in touch-but it is so hard for people to understand that simple fact.
And, may I add, my ex (who I was engaged to) was one of those guys who you give a chance to anyway, because they're nice guys. There are people out there who need more than eye-candy! | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:46:31 PM | | Very well said. :-) | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:48:32 PM | I'm impressed. A guy with only two cents and the women still paid attention.  | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:06:04 PM | OP, well written I must say. It is so true also. Before you can love someone else above all you have to love yourself and who you are. Once you do people see that and are attracted to you. I've defintely learned that in the past few years of my life. It took me a while to get to where I am now as far as self esteem etc. One thing that helps me is my belief in a positive attitude and a positive outlook on life. I start and end each day with positive thoughts. I try not to dwell on too many things or get down on myself. Like you said, everyone is unique, and I believe my own uniqueness is what will attract someone to me. I totally agree with what you said about looks. They are really the first thing you see whether it's in real life or on the net. You see the person first, then you talk to them. For me I like to be attracted to a guy but I like it even more if his personality is attractive as well. I was talking to a good looking guy on here but after talking to him for a short while I realized he was the wrong person for me because of his attitude towards life and other things. So even the best looking person can lose out because of a negative attitude. Happy fishing to all! | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:14:01 PM | You think that needed to be said? Don't you read peoples answers. Thats all they ever say. Over and over like playing a drum, that they never get good at. Otherwards your tring to stand out. O.K. I get it now.
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:23:58 PM | well,if i need a remedial dating class from someone half my age i ll know who to call.
thanks for the pearls of wisdom,where did i put my notepad
thanks
john | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:31:54 PM |
I was more interested in finding a emotionally stable, healthy, gainfully employed man with good sense and some emotional maturity.
Ok, this is a little bugbear of mine in todays dating world. Why does it matter whether the other person (especially the man) have to be gainfully employed? Surely its looks and personality that matter not the size of his bank balance? | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:34:32 PM | above,it reminds me of that famous line,
`i didnt really have a close bond with my husband,but he was a good provider`
thanks
john | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:03:19 PM | | Paragraphs OWN you. | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:25:36 PM |
Paragraphs OWN you.
*agree* | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:51:06 AM | | I've been known to be a bit slow at times, but what in the hell does "paragraphs own you" have to do with anything? | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:55:41 AM | Don't take it personally jensen.
It's just irritatingly hard sometimes to read 'walls of text'.
Just that our minds and eyes need little breaks in between reading.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wall+of+text | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 5/31/2007 4:31:31 AM |
I’d like to think being happy with your self is most important first step in having a good relationship. If your not happy with yourself then how in the hell are you going to make someone else happy? Very true. Once you have one. But most people need to get a relationship, before they can have a good one, and the traits most people tend to have who find it very easy to get a relationship, tend to be self-hating values. Men who are more pushy tend to get more relationships, but they tend to believe that they have to push to get accepted. Women who make themselves look nice tend to get relationships, but they tend to believe that no-one likes their body.
I’m a firm believer in the saying “Nice guys finish last”. The correct expression is "Guys who are afraid of being b*****ds finish last." Because there is always another guy who is not afraid to be a b*****d. Only difference is he usually is.
I watched an episode of "House, M.D." when he's trying to get a kid to take a pill. Kid won't at all. A gangster who's being treated by House comes in the room, tells the kid to do it, and the kid takes the pill. The gangster explains that to get someone to do something, you have to act and sound as though you will hurt them if they don't, AND MEAN IT!
Looks always come first. Not if you start on the phone. And a lot of women started dating men they found very unattractive, but had a lot of confidence. Most women tend to be attracted to my smile, before anything else. But that's a part of my body language. It has nothing to do with my looks.
Bravo! I can't understand how a person who dislikes him/herself thinks that other people should like him/her. Whether people want to date you or not, is more dependent on whether or not, you believe that OTHER people want to date you. It's got nothing to do with whether you like yourself. Marilyn Monroe didn't like herself. It didn't stop other people liking her. | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 6/1/2007 6:25:22 AM | Lol, it got your attention didn't it | |
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| My Two Cents
Posted: 6/1/2007 7:06:37 AM | | Looks don't come first. Being comfortable in your own skin and letting others see that make you dozens of times more attractive. Personality does come first. | |
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