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 A_True_1_4U
Joined: 2/24/2005
Msg: 1
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Sex on he first or second date?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hey all you guys out there . . . . I have reads hundreds of profiles where you all are saying that you are looking for the One, a special lady in your life to hold, respect and cherish for a long term relationship. Most of you are looking for a classy girl that is not into drugs, intimate encounters and is basically a good girl that you can trust . . . right?
Well then why is it that many of you (not all) try to have sex with a gal on the first, second or third date? I have also come to the conclusion that if a gal goes over to a guys house for dinner and a movie on the second or third date, that it is expected by the guy that they will have sex. I would think that if you met a classy gal, that was "long term" material, that you would show a little respect and just be a nice, respectful guy for at least 5-6 dates? Am I just a modern day gal with old fashion morals ? Is chivalry (look it up) a thing of the past? Enquiring minds want to know?
 A_True_1_4U
Joined: 2/24/2005
Msg: 2
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:51:51 AM
Sorry I meant "Sex on the first or second date?
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 3
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:14:24 AM
All you gotta do is say 'No!'. If the guy doesn't want to call/see you again, then you know all the guy wanted was sex. Not that hard a concept to understand really.
 Geneseo
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 4
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:28:27 AM
Personally speaking, I believe that a woman can be classy, sweet and a great companion for life, even if she is willing to have sex on the first date.

As long as she is self confident, intelligent, and a pleasant human being, then the sex is just icing on the cake. More Europian women are able to carry this off then American ones. The later tend to make a big production number out of everything, while the Europian ones can just "be" without the drama.
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 5
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:29:09 AM
>>Well then why is it that many of you (not all) try to have sex with a gal on the first, second or third date?

I don't try and do this, but I can guess why some guys do:
If you say no, he's learned something about you; and if you say yes, he gets laid.
It's a win win situation, from their point of view.
 acgoat
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 6
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:32:14 AM
Think its to determine sexual compatability.
Find out if its worth spending time together.

Have attempted to respond 3 times so far, site keeps glitching my messages
 CoverMeinXoXo
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 7
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:34:25 AM
Its simple. If it comes down to him already giving the vibe that he wants to sleep with you, and you arent ready, talk to him. See if he can wait it out through another couple of dates. If he cant respect that, move on.
 Transonic
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 8
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:52:37 AM
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I think it was Wayne Gretzky that said that I’m not sure. Myself I don’t attempt sex for at least 5-10 dates and even then I don’t expect it. If you’re expecting sex in the first 2-3 dates perhaps you should be looking for intimate encounter profiles
 johnny prophet
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 9
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:57:30 AM

why is it that many of you (not all) try to have sex with a gal on the first, second or third date?


Ok. Let me tell you how *MY* first dates often have gone:

I pick her up or we meet somewhere or whatever. We go have a bite to eat and then we walk around the park and I push her on the swing or we go to the botanical garden and fantasize about how nice it would be to be really rich and be able to afford some of that incredible landscaping... and then we end up fooling around. It could be at her house or mine or in the car. Fooling around starts to naturally progress and then she says something along the lines of:

"You know, I never sleep with anyone on the first date.... BUT..."

and then I say "Of course you don't."

And then she does.


I have also come to the conclusion that if a gal goes over to a guys house for dinner and a movie on the second or third date, that it is expected by the guy that they will have sex.


If we made it to a second or third date, there's obvious interest on both sides. And if you're going to come over to MY HOUSE and watch tv on my couch all cuddled up... sex is on my mind. Close physical proximity to a woman will do that to a man. Doesn't mean I'm going to rape you if you say "not tonight."


I would think that if you met a classy gal, that was "long term" material, that you would show a little respect and just be a nice, respectful guy for at least 5-6 dates?


I'll be a nice, respectful guy on the first date, but if I'm interested in sex with you, and you are interested in sex with me, I will let it happen. And during and after the sex, I'll be a nice, respectful guy.

And I won't think you're a whore or a slut if you give it up the first night. I figure that people are people and I'm flattered when people find me attractive enough to want to sleep with me. If I also want to sleep with them, game on.

Most of my long-term (3 years or more) relationships were with beautiful, loving, wonderful, intelligent women who gave it up on the first date.

No hard and fast rule about this, however. I also dated a girl (in my early twenties) who was a virgin and "technically" remained one during the 2 or so years that we dated.
 christi66
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 10
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:59:45 PM
You know whats sad to me ..... that you have to be worried about rather you have sex with someone you are atracted to because god forbid then you will be labeled .. THEN the man may not respect you .

I will openly admit I have met someone and after talking on the phone for awhile the attraction was just THERE for both of us .. we went out and yes later that night had awesome sex ... we also dated years after that until we parted ways . ALthough he moved to another state for his job and I remained here . We are still friends .

I think the ONLY time its frowned on is if you bumped into someone for the first time in a bar or somewhere THEN went home and had sex with them. Maybe I give guys to much credit .. but I dont think they go oh god she gave into sex on our first date ..
Gee maybe I am just a big ole slut !
 phoenix.rising
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 11
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:10:02 PM
I think that this depends alot of the person that you are with. I am not big on sleeping with someone on the first or second date but if there is a connection there and its mutually acceptable why not do it? You get to have fun and so does he... just be prepared for the fact that he might just be using you for sex and if he is at least you are in the right frame of mind for that possibility.

We are all adults here right?
 Macky42
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 12
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:22:53 PM
Some women want sex on the first date, they have needs to be satisfied. What's wrong with that? we're all human. If a woman wants sex on the first date, so be it. She shouldn't be labeled...and guys that want sex on the first date, shouldn't be lectured or given a guilt trip, we have needs too.
If you don't want sex, be up front on the date.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 13
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:38:21 PM
I don't like to make the moves right away.
But if you don't, a lot of the time the woman thinks you're not interested.
So a lot of the time, men do, just to show we're attracted to you.
But we'd prefer to get knocked back a few times, just so we know you'll knock back other guys if we're dating you exclusively. Also, makes the you a bit of a challenge.

Just to let you know, most guys I know who tried it on and got knocked back a few times, developed real feelings for the girl. But not when she gave it up on the first try. So if you want the guy to love you, say "no, I want to wait until I KNOW you love me" a few (3-5) times, when he goes for sex. Then he'll go loopy in love. Then, when you give in, he'll be all you want.
 christi66
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 14
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:50:55 PM
so what your saying mover is you prefer a girl to play games .?


just so we know you'll knock back other guys if we're dating you exclusively


IF you are dating you should trust her enough to know you will be exclusive
 notsantos101
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 15
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:48:13 PM
i've never initiated it on a first date but some women have. sometimes it just works when you click. the last time it happened to me we were together for 5 years.
 whtknight6591
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 16
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:22:25 PM
Many of us "regular guys" do not expect sex on the 1st or 2nd date ... If you are not comfortable, knowing he may be expecting to have sex on the first or second date.. don't put yourself in that situation... meet and go to public places.. don't go to his house to eat dinner. Pretty common sense stuff . Chivalry is not dead... don't tell anyone though
 lookingformygirl
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 17
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:24:49 PM
You are listening to 2 different guys, OR you are listening to hypocrites.
One guy says he respects women and would wait for 5 or 6 dates, maybe more if she was awesome. Then you date a completely different guy who wants it on the first date, and on the second one if you don't put out he leaves you. Make sure you don't get 2 different guys mixed up like that.
I was reading the other responses, and I want to know from acgoat what is sexual compatibility ? I mean isn't everyone pretty much compatible? The outtie fits into the innie? I have never met a woman I was not sexually compatible with......
 mrmykle
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 18
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:53:23 PM
I think people throw around words like "classy", "morals" and "chivalry" to try to explain away other peoples behavior especially when it threatens your own insecurities (such as being afraid of being used sexually and then not called again). I think all of this is just a matter of opinions.


you all are saying that you are looking for the One, a special lady in your life to hold, respect and cherish for a long term relationship. Most of you are looking for a classy girl that is not into drugs, intimate encounters and is basically a good girl that you can trust . . . right?


Duh. Yes. And if I find THAT girl and we sleep together on the first date then great? I had a 7 year relationship with a girl I slept with on the first date. If I like a girl I don't care if she sleeps with me in the first hour..I'm hanging on to her. If I don't like her I don't care if she sleeps with me today or next year..nothings gonna change.
 mrmykle
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 19
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:03:38 PM

I want to know from acgoat what is sexual compatibility ? I mean isn't everyone pretty much compatible? The outtie fits into the innie? I have never met a woman I was not sexually compatible with......


Hahaha. Wait...are you serious?
 KiteGuy321
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 20
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:08:29 PM
I wouldn't expect sex on the first date, but would be quite happy if it did happen.
 panfilovets
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 21
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:09:55 PM
when i go out with a girl, i generally leave it all up to her, i don't want anyone to feel used or pressured, alot of times i wont even try to kiss her the first night(even if inside i just wanna pounce on her, haha!)...i find that if we like each other enough to see each other again, things will just progress naturally. not that i haven't slept with a girl on a first date before...there are times when you can tell a girl is really just wanting something physical, and who am i to deny her, right? haha! although....i do find that if she sleeps with me on the first day i meet her, it kinda sets the pace for the rest of the relationship and it seems like it never really gets beyond a physical stage. i prefer to wait.

i hope that helps.
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 22
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:19:11 PM
You post also intimates that sex is a sign of a man not respecting the woman. She doesn't stay perched on that pedestal forever.

If you are going to put a number on the number of meeting, why is sex on the 1st or 2nd date bad but 5-6 (as you stated) would make it okay? Why not wait until the wedding night if sex is SO sacred?

This is 2007. The world turns faster these days.

And let me toss this in. How do you explain the group of women who complain that a man isn't aggressive enough or "not interested" is he DOESN'T make a move on the 2nd or so date?

This is simply your moral value system and you can't expect the world to play by your rules. You can play by your rules, but that doesn't make the rules "official".
 christi66
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 23
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Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:28:09 PM
If i dont get sex on the first date is it ok to demand it on the second?? a girls got needs.
 lpbrian
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 24
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:53:42 PM
Its because a lot of them lie I guess. Don't you ultimately have the final say in whether you will have sex or not. They may expect it but you don't have to give it to them. It depends on what you want and why should you feel compelled to do something you don't want to do. If thats the case, you haven't read or met the right person.
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 25
Sex on he first or second date?
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:56:23 PM
The woman sets the pace, or should IMHO. So to the ladies that say they have needs, "rape away", I'm sure you won't get many complaints from most of the men out there, it's one of those strange double standards we have.

A male teacher and a female student...throw him in jail, castrate him...

A female teacher and a male student...first thing that always gets asked...was she smoking hot? Why would that idiot kid turn her in and ruin it for the rest of the guys?

Sex on a first date would not be a thing that would happen without her knowing going into the date, because...sorry...let me see your papers and make sure you are clean...in fact...no way...there will be a date where we both go to the same place and get tested before any monkey business...

About one in five adults in the United States has genital herpes; however, as many as 90% of these infected people don't know they have the virus.

I find the following statement I found troubling...

There are no accurate numbers as to how many people in San Francisco have herpes as it is not a reportable STD.

Wait what? Now they aren't even tracking this s h i t?

Thank God for now the only sexually transmitted disease I have to worry about is calloused hands, hairy palms, and poor vision...

Cheers!
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