| | When you are first with a new womanPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | When you are first with a woman after you have established you like each and want to be intimate, would you rather her be completely uninhibited right out of the gate or would rather her more reserved until you get more comfortable with her. If she was a very sexual person would that be intimidating for you. Do men prefer to be more in control sexually when just starting out. | |
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Avow
| | Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 2 | |
| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:25:50 AM | • LOL, Two of a Kind beats a Straight.
I'm completely uninhibited right out of the gate, So no it would not intimidating. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:34:21 AM | I would be supremely complimented if the lady made the first moves there. Otherwise you would have a similar situation to an intersection controlled by four way stop signs. If nobody proceeds to go first, nobody will get anywhere.
Real men are complimented if you ladies make the first move. It really shouldn't matter who does it, just that somebody does. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:41:49 AM | I'm with the above,
it isn't about who makes the move rather than that it is made, though I'd proceed slow and leave things for the next day. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:05:16 AM | | I'm not really speaking about who initiates the act, but more about the act itself. Would a man feel intimidated if prehaps the woman you were with was more sexual confident than perhaps how you felt about yourself.......would you be WOWED!!!! by it or feel like perhaps you may not be able to keep up.... | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:12:00 AM | Why hold back?
Show me what she's got! First impressions and all...
For the rest of the women who didn't want to talk to me. For the ones who weren't interested in me, they are already "inhibited" in my mind. For the ones who were "lights off" kind of women. For the ones who bit their tongue because they were too shy to make any noise....make up for their short comings! The biggest turn ons are the ones who WENT for it, and knew exactly what they were going for. Not out of duty, or a mechanical act, but out of just passion for taking what they want in the first place.
Inhibition is my #1 1/2 bedroom turn-off. (#1 would be unwillingness)
This is why I like nerdy girls. They tend to be FREAKS!  | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:43:46 AM | It all depends on who I'm with, and how comfortable we are with it.
With some, it can be a fast and wild ride.
With others... it's more of a slow and steady pace.
Never faster than either of us is ready for. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:51:33 AM | If we're talking about a meaningful relationship that you want, I'd go slowly at first.
Leave a few surprises for later...
I for one get quite nervous and often "shy" the first few times I'm with a woman I care about.
So if you blew the doors off my bedroom wall,
I'd be fixing them aaaaaabout 6 minutes later... lol!
So don't show all your cards at once.
uhh and rawr... 
-P | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:43:41 PM | | I once dated the “Pink Panther” as she called herself. I walked into her room to see ropes on all for corners, a gage and a bull whip on the door. So, yes if you’re breaking out the heavy equipment then, yah, I’m going to need trust you a little more. But, lucky for me I don’t scare to easy and when I think Pink, it has nothing to do with insulation. So, I say take a slower start if you're a freak. otherwise go for it. | |
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iris43
| | Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:58:41 PM | Thanks Johnny Prophet...thats what I think too....
Do men fear intimacy and incredible passion right out of the gate.....is this scary for you men.... | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:00:34 PM | Go slow? Why? So she can take longer to figure out you can't hack it??? LoL.
Let's say she's pretty open to just about anything and can tell you what she wants. Both what she wants to do to you, and what she wants you to do to her. Don't you think she deserves the respect to know if you have the balls to ride that kind of a bronco out of the gate?
If you're a casual equestrian, to stick with the analogy, then stick to the nags. If you want to be a rodeo rider, fine. But even the ballsiest rider doesn't go from shanks' mare to the real deal in a single ride. That's just silly. Besides, unless you have yet to sexually mature and know it most people don't drift far from thier comfort zones. They might as a fling, but there is a natural human tendency to go back to the rut you knew unless there is a compelling reason not to. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:21:43 PM | Iris,
Most folks have boundaries. As they mature the boundaries become softer and move farther away form basic. Some of the bigger boundaries are obvious and shouldn’t be approached unless they have been discussed.
I’ve been on both sides of the answer to your question. My experiences have been too much for a new partner and yes, I’ve been intimidated as well. Fetishes and kink need to have like minded partners. Intimacy is in my opinion a natural progression.
That being said, Knowing that you are 43 I would expect that you would let your partner know if he’s getting it right or if you wanted faster, slower harder or more. Always let us know if we are at the don’t stop stage. He should be doing the same if you are in the driver's seat.
Just one guys opinion.
John | |
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iris43
| | Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 15 | |
| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:36:18 PM | | Johnymac I agree.....this is not about fetishes....if one has these that should be exposed when two people are well on their way to another level of exploration. I'm just speaking of the good fashion humpty hump. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:49:25 PM | I think it varies dramatically based on the fledgling dynamic that is evolving between the two partners.
Any particular man might really like a new girlfriend to be completely uninhibited right at the start... and then turn around with the next girlfriend (if the first didn't work out of course) and take things more slowly. It really is all about what makes both partners comfortable.
That being said: All other things being equal I think I'd prefer a little reservation at first, simply so that we, as a couple, could build up a history of experiences and learnings.
Not that I wouldn't want her to bring her "A" game the first night (I would), but simply not to get freaky for freaky's sake until we've put some common mileage down. Hope that makes sense.
Regarding your "Control" question: Once again, it's about what makes both partners comfortable, but will say that since (in my experience) I'm expected to be (somewhat) in control, I'm very comfortable in that role. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:13:30 PM | Iris,
First time humpty hump you’d better put forth some effort. If I don’t find some initiative from a partner first time around go round, I’ll assume that they might just be too tame and move on. Blow my socks off if you can. You’ll get my best effort in return.
I don't want to count the ceiling tiles either. If one or the other is taking notes, it’s a good sign, really good.
John | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:20:41 PM | | Start as you mean to go on! I have no problem with sexually confident women, in fact I prefer them! I don't expect a full demonstration of her or my entire sexual repertoire on the first night but I appreciate a confident, no holds barred approach. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:38:38 PM | It all comes down to comfort level. First times are almost always somewhat awkward in someway. That being said, getting right down to it and losing yourself immediately will almost certainly get rid of any nerves or awkwardness.
I always just let things progress, as she gets wilder and more into it, I respond accordingly. Vice versa is true also.
As for being intimidated in bed, I am sure it can happen. So far I haven't been, but that doesn't mean I'm not one date or night out away from it either. If I'm in bed with a woman that REALLY REALLY is enjoying being there and showing me that she is, its a huge turn on and like previously stated, a big compliment. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:41:26 PM | iris, A bit redundant for your OP in Sex +Dating, no? I repeat. It'd depend on the 'one-two-three, play' leading up to the foreplay ...and beyond.
I, personally, would like an open and assertive woman who can communicate to me what 'itch that she needs to have scratched', but I've yet to run into any. In this regard, I don't welcome her being too reserved ...as I usually end up 'groping and probing in the dark'.
I'm not afraid to explore w/o being handed a map, but a bit of spontaneous 'direction for my erection' on occasion would be a bigger turn-on for me ...and consequently for her. I don't like to guess just how a woman wants to be "manhandled", if that's her turn-on.
If I am w/ a woman intimately, I'm w/ her to please as much as be pleased for the encounter ...and there's also something positive to be said for the flirting, anticipation, and teasing, but zero feedback or a woman who prefers to remain sexually submissive is not my idea of LTR material. I like pleasant surprises, and if a woman wants to 'come out of the gate' w/one, I hope that she'll understand by then that I've my own limits and reservations too. I've got an untapped kinkier side myself, but won't 'go there w/o a welcome mat'. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:26:04 PM | I'd want her to be the person she wants to be.
No falseness, No reservations, and if if felt right, for BOTH, to do it.
Anything else is just an extension of playing a game. | |
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iris43
| | Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 23 | |
| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:41:12 PM | | Thanks to all those have responded...I apologize for posting twice I didnt' know you were not allowed and I did because I wasn't sure where I might get the most responses. | |
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| When you are first with a new woman
Posted: 6/6/2007 5:00:30 PM | I have met one woman who was simply rampant.
We ended up having sex all over the bedroom in every position possible.
It was just ridiculous for me, I didnt really enjoy it. | |
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