Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I just saw my ex after seven years . . .      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 1
I just saw my ex after seven years . . . Page 1 of 1    
I haven’t seen my ex in over seven years – and only spoken to her once since we split up.

I just saw her at a department store. We didn’t speak, and she didn’t acknowledge my presence. She hadn’t changed much – looks better, if anything.

How was I affected? IT DIDN’T AFFECT ME AT ALL!

I made a good decision, and I am completely comfortable with it, and she is out of my life.

How often do we have second thoughts? Are we entitled to be so confident in our decisions?
 journeyingsoul
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 2
view profile
History
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 4:43:10 PM
If you are happy with your decision that is all that matters.
Second thoughts, I have them from time to time... not that I could do anything about it now anyway. I don't live in the past though. Life moves forward, always forward.
We are as entitled to be confident in our decisions as we allow ourselves to be. The only tough thing about that is if we have wronged/hurt others in making those decisions for ourselves.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 3
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 4:44:23 PM
I saw my ex one time about a year after I left him....
( he didnt see me) .... I thought he was such a handsome man, too bad he had to be thrown back but I had to do what I had to do. I thought of it more as pity for him....
I know all women will throw him back. He is not someone to be with anyone... not even a dog.

I have no regrets dumping him.
 *cee~cee*
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 4
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 4:50:22 PM
I haven't seen my ex of over 3 years except in pictures and probably won't see him in person ever again since he lives across the pond from me. It was his decision to part, but I realized it was the best decision for us both for a lot of reasons. Nothing was wrong with US as a couple, we just have vast differences in life experience (I had plenty, he had just started).

It was a great relationship. But I think if we ever met face to face again that he would have substantially changed and that 'thing' we had once wouldn't be there anymore. Regrets? None. I wish him nothing but happiness. He's a great guy and him being in my life enriched it a great deal. He deserves the best life has to offer him. I'll never regret that we split, I'll always be thankful for the time we did have.
 K-lo
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 5
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:10:02 PM
What I have . . I wouldn't call them "second thoughts" . . . because, they're not really much different from my "first" thoughts - which is that I loved certain people, and I didn't part with them for a lack of love, and I never stopped loving them. So, if the circumstances for departing were not for a lack of love on my part, and I suddenly saw him/them, I would be overwhelmed with a rush of feelings, and would definitely be happy to see him/them. The feeling would still be there - - but, of course, then there's change of life circumstances that you would have to contend with if you could consider rekindling an old flame. But, as for the exes who I didn't love in the end - seeing them again would probably confirm the decision. Nonetheless, I would still be happy to see them (and would rather see them doing well, than miserable).

Both scenarios have happened to me. Either way - I can't imagine NOT acknowledging ANYONE who I once called my boyfriend. After all - - they were my friends TOO. I couldn't imagine blowing off an old friend either. (Not critisizing you for not talking to her - - just saying that that would not occur to me, and I would feel really awkward noticing someone I once knew and ignoring them).
 kswoodsman
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 6
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:23:11 PM
Since my divorce was final I have yet to lay eyes on her again ( 2 years). She doesnt come around us and I dont go around her. I dont regret oe second guess my decision to divorce her. Every time I had second thoughts about it I remind myself of how it got this way between us. That she already used up all her 'second chances' long before she left the last time. The kids miss her, I dont anymore.

I guess it depends on how the closure went for some people , whether they miss the ex or not. No closure leaves you wondering what went wrong and why they arent there still. With good closure at least you can be civil towards each other. It lets you understand why they wouldn't talk, listen or stay. It helps with the transition when going into new relationships as well. I wish I had gotten that (good closure).


Are we entitled to be so confident in our decisions?
yes, we should be confident with all our decisions.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 7
view profile
History
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:31:22 PM
I ran into an ex twelve years after we split up, we got 'caught up' and apologised to each other for our behaviour. Had a great time. Second thoughts came up when one of us asked the other... "do you think if we had met each other now, instead of back then, we'd have been able to make a go of it?" We decided that, while more mature, and thus would handle it much better/be kinder to each other... the underlying differences would still not satisfy each others needs.

It was good to get and give the apology; nice to revisit the good things. Even better to acknowledge the growth each of us had from the other. It was the right decision to split up.

Nice to have an ex you'd give a second thought to... can't say it is true of all of mine...LOL
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 8
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:31:35 PM
@ K-Lo and Margo

I approached her and stood only a few short feet from her. She purposefully did not make eye contact. I waited in proximity for a full minute before she wandered off.

I considered tapping her on the shoulder and saying "Hello," but some stones deserve NOT to be turned, and I was not reading positive vibes from her.
 opgirl
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 9
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:51:32 PM
Good for you! That is the most amazing feeling, to bump into the ex and not be affected at all. Ex's are ex's for a reason, and they need to remain that way!!!
 Love_on_fire
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 10
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:55:38 PM
I saw my ex one time about a year after I left him....
( he didnt see me)


OR he saw you but refused to look at you and acknowledge you maybe?


I thought he was such a handsome man, too bad he had to be thrown back but I had to do what I had to do. I thought of it more as pity for him....
I know all women will throw him back. He is not someone to be with anyone... not even a dog.


Well you got to get to know someone for their character and make sure that is the main reasons you date someone, otherwise the relationship wil not get anywhere.


I approached her and stood only a few short feet from her. She purposefully did not make eye contact. I waited in proximity for a full minute before she wandered off.

I considered tapping her on the shoulder and saying "Hello," but some stones deserve NOT to be turned, and I was not reading positive vibes from her


Yeah you did the right thing. Ignore her. I mean if there was hurt involved and if for example, I caused any hurt to a person, I would personally try to apologize to them and say I'm sorry and try to put their heart at rest, I just feel it's the right thing to do. But in this case, I think you did the right thing and just ignore her. Again if there was hurt involved and you felt the need to apologize that would have been good too, and understandable.
 whitedahlia
Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 11
I just saw my ex after seven years . . .
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:56:48 PM
I stopped missing my ex after my aim got better!
WD
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I just saw my ex after seven years . . .