Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do guys keep girls on the back burner?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lemongrass
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 1
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?Page 1 of 1    
Hi

If a guy says he's not ready for a relationship but there is a strong connection between the two parties and the guy is in constant contact with the girl for at least 6 months pretty much everyday, they hang out, been intimate once, almost get intimate on a few other occasions...is he keeping her on the back burner until he feels ready to commit? Others also observe there is something there which is more than just friendship... is he also playing a power/ control game?
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 2
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 4:30:44 AM

guy says he's not ready for a relationship


Let me just quote that to bring it to your attention.

Then let me quote this...


they hang out, been intimate once, almost get intimate on a few other occasions


Get the picture?

Guys say what they mean. He wasn't ready for a relationship, then you did the nasty and in your mind, he all of a sudden means he was ready for a relationship?

Sex is just that for some guys. Doesn't mean he has any feelings or anything.

As far as he was concerned, you both "scratched an itch".

Who knows, maybe after you boinked, he began to feel something. I can't read his mind, only go by what you said.

As for whether he's "keeping her on the back burner"......ask him. Ask him if he changed his mind about a "relationship". That's the only true way to know.

Best of luck to you.
 lemongrass
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 3
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 4:40:46 AM
Thanks Pete, that was a pretty straight forward answer :)
 subboy777
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 4
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 4:45:57 AM
As mentioned in the above post, my suggestion is also to ask him.

Only he knows the truthful answer to these questions, all anyone here can do is guess answers based on a person they do not know personally (sometimes they may even confuse this guy they do not know with one of their ex's lol).

I will encourage you with this though, Trust and Communication are 2 major parts of any working relationship. If you doubt a person (do not trust him) then that is a person you should not be getting involved in a relationship with, and if you can not ask him questions or be open and honest with him (communicate) then again maybe it is too soon to be thinking about having a relationship with this person.

Another big part is Patience.. with these 3 things, you will have your answers and will be able to go forward in the right direction for you.

best of luck.
 lemongrass
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 5
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:00:22 AM
Thank you for your constructive and helpful response sub...i agree trust is very important, questions have been asked but the answers given are not straight forward; they only seem to confuse the issues..I think I shall wait and see and in the meantime not hold my breath or allow him to give me any more head noise...life's too short :)
 daizd
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 6
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:39:16 AM
A wise friend once told me listening is the key when it comes to men...they are not like women, they do not hint at things for the most part so if he says "no I dont like it" that means NO HE DOESNT LIKE IT...Men generally mean what they say so if he says hes not ready for a relationship he's not ready. He's not keeping her on the back burner but more so shes sticking around. If she moves on & he decides that he wants her.. there is nothing that you can say or do short of telling him off (sometimes that doesnt even work) to make him think or do otherwise

No one can put you on the back burner if you dont allow yourself to be put there.
 lemongrass
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 7
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:44:29 AM
Hi daized....good point :) Ok I am even embarrassed I asked this question...it is all so much clearer in black and white...how do I delete this thread? :D
 SISL
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 8
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:57:57 AM
Some stoves have many burners, others just a few, a restaurant-style stove can have 20 or 30!
 Vixen08
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 9
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:25:01 AM
I can tell you yes they do...... I had a guy tell me he wasnt ready to go to the next level because he wanted "to keep his options open" In other words I wasnt the one he liked in that way and told me he liked the way things were between us.... Didnt bother me we are still friends and thats where it will stay because I can appreciate a friendship thru a great person. Personally I dont want to be with anyone who doesnt want to be with me in the same way. Back to the ocean to fish
 notsantos101
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:01:22 AM
i keep them in the freezer.
 braindrain22
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 11
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:08:17 AM
I'm sure some men and women both keep mates on the back burner. These are weak insecure people who cannot face life alone. People not afraid of being alone until the real thing comes along wouldn't lead someone on like that and then dump them when something better comes along. I think it's more common for women to do this though. If I ever had the feeling I was a backburner boyfriend I'd be gone for that relationship.
 lonestardaddy
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 12
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:31:35 AM
lemon, There's no saying what goes on in the mind and heart of another ...unless you ask them, and even then, they may not give you the answer that you want to hear. C'est la vie. The challenge, as always, is befriending those others who will make you feel better for knowing them.

The "...been intimate once, almost get intimate on a few other occasions" has me wondering for the latter 'failed' attempts, and who initiated what didn't transpire. If it was you, your guy of six months may have relationship directional or intimate performance 'issues' and not another girl on the back burner. Ask him. Only he can help you clear out the smoke between y'all.
 lemongrass
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 13
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 3:03:21 PM
oh he did the initiating and then said it was not 'right'...because he was brought up a strict catholic....but thank you all for your responses....I am really rather embarrassed by this thread now because it is quite clear what I should do when put in black and white like this.....and am rather silly that i did not see clearly before....so guys, how do i delete this thread???? arrghhhh....
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 14
Do guys keep girls on the back burner?
Posted: 6/2/2007 3:54:15 PM
why rent the cow when you can have the milk for free :)
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do guys keep girls on the back burner?