| Does "CHEMISTRY" play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:02:22 PM | Now here is a topic ever one can get involved with............
Out of the thousands of single people in the world and on dating sites like this im sure everyone has an opinion on this topic.
As a person I have to say in most relationships there has been "Chemistry", now out of all those relationships I have no facts of how many relationships failed, unknown to me I havent personally heard of a relationship which has failed because of "Chemistry" because to me if you have "Chemistry" you have something in common. So does it mean if theres little or no "Chemistry" things wont work out? I guess so.
So how do we know if theres a Chemical reaction between us? I guess that a part of life we all have to learn about, so to have a successful relationship do we need a chemical reaction inside of us?
If this is the case how bigger a part does "Chemistry" play in a relationship?
 | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:13:30 PM | No better topic for my first post...
YES! Chemistry matters (to me, at least). How do you recognize it? It's inescapably obvious, if it exists at all between two people.
Because there are so many undefinables in a person's instinctive reactions and interactions with another, "chemistry" serves as a catch all description for "I know what I like when I see it" , in the same way that "art" and "flavor" do in other areas.
Incidentally, "chemistry" is one simple reason that EHarmony-style compatibility checklists are merely informative, not conclusive. | |
|
eazk
|
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:23:04 PM | The 'flutterbyes' tell us if there is a chemical reaction.
There's also the goosebumps, electricity jumping out of your fingertips, a significant increase in the size and depth of color of your aura, production of pheromones, the people from Pfizer want to tap your veins to siphon off the excess Viagra, your best friend notices, your worst enemy notices, your mom notices, your wife notices.....
Geeeezzz, how do you expect to pass Chemistry 101 if you don't know this stuff? | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:36:42 PM | Yea Chemistry plays a MAJOR part with both men/women. Its the 1st thing everyone looks for. All you have to do is look at the amazingly HIGH divorce rate in this country to see just how well it works!!! | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:38:35 PM | Attraction gets the attention. Since attraction is a reaction (not an emotion) we have no control over it. It really can not be learned.
Chemistry (synergy) keeps it going (along with continued attraction).
If the attrraction fades (that has not really happened to me and I’ve had long relationships) then there best be tons of >>> LIKE. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:51:06 PM | Before this thread gets too old "smile" I would like to add my three cents.
Has anyone ever asked themself what factors exist tangibly which explain the behavior of women and men in the relationship/dating world? What I mean is, are there factors which when understood would reveal why some people have what we call luck in dating, and others get the bad end of the stick? Think about it, relativity the proof that we all live in our own little world. We each percieve life a little differently. NOw I've been around awhile, and I've noticed that some people have great social life, many friends, find someone to go out with with relative ease. They don't have to think much about it, nor make any major effort to bring about interaction which leads to anything more than aquaintanceships at the local store.
I've also noticed that there are a certain percentage of the population which doesn't do too well in groups, in social scenes, with the opposite sex, etc. You get my point. There are those of us who do better with others, than others of us. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure this out. It's a truth which is self evident, like the right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
So, what is chemistry? Could it be that some people are a type which matches so poorly (mathematically speaking) with others, that the chances of developing chemistry are like the chances of hitting a home run if you've never played baseball!!!!!! Why? Why are some of us destined to fail at dating and others don't. Could it be a defect within us? Might we be violating some set of social principles which seals our failure in this dating game.... notice I said game! Or have we just not developed the necessary skills to make all the factors click to produce the result?
Could it be that we are predestined to success or failure with the opposite sex?
Are some men born with the skills to attract and maintain a relationship with a woman, like some of us are born with musical or other talent? Or is it just some set of psycological, etherical factors which in their own cold lifeless way so fall into order creating our outcome in the relationship world????
I propose that chemistry exists. It's hard to say what it is, as science can't define it yet.... and that frustrates me no end. But it appears to exist.
However, there seems to be more. There are many ways to meet people. School, Work, Church, Parties, introductions from family and friends, clubs, bars, events, coffee shops, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. Any social setting where there are several persons present of both sexes may serve as a channel for connecting.. However, not all methods, although technically might work, are considered correct or are conventional. School, Your Job, Parties, Introductions, Church Groups, and Bars are the conventional ways for people to meet and produce the greatest results.
You also need to have decent social skills. You need to know how to relate to women, read the signals they give, know how to approach them to get to know them better, and then get closer without giving them reason to back off. These are skills I am not sure we all have!!!! Correct me if I am wrong.... are we all born knowing how to do everything? And even if we go through life do we all learn everything about everything? I think not. Finally it seems from my research that looks play a large part in the initial attraction, so if you don't attract by looks, what do you have to give initially, that might start something considering there is very little you can determine about a new person whom you barely met other than a few expressions, a tad of personality, and their LOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! See my point you need
1. Conventional methods to meet women (Produce results)
2. Skills to interact with them once you met them
3. Looks and a little personality other than Dead Frog Type to attract.
If you are lacking in half or more of this how could you suceed???? | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/4/2007 11:45:16 PM | There is some proof of chemistry on the surface such as pheromones where the person has to be similar to us genetically but different enough to not be family.
But far more powerful is inner chemistry where someone matches your preferences in looks, intelligence, social style, etc. This causes you to generate chemistry within yourself which you interpret as being in love because of all the good feelings. In other words, you cause yourself to fall in love - not the other person. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:41:00 AM | | YES of course it does, and I would say a big part, if you plan on being more than friends. Chemistry is what brings the true passion in any relationship, we all know what it is and how it feels, so who in there right mind would settle for anything less. Chemistry is the one thing you cant fake, its either there or its not, and I believe without the right chemistry that you would be settling for something far less , than you or your mate deserves. | |
|
| |
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:15:46 AM | Flutterbyes definately says it all.
A guy who i've spoken about at length in previous threads was definately the person that chemistry became totally obvious with.
My heart would beat so rapidly. My breathing would be erratic and my palms would get all sweaty.
When we spoke it was like fireworks were going off all around us and there was nobody else in the room only us.
Well that was how it seemed until all and sundry started to see the chemical reaction and pulled us to bits for not being a couple. But hey love is blind so they say and when i realised i was in love i ran and ran and ran. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:59:08 AM | | Chemistry plays a part in every type of relationship you might experience, not just "romantic" relationships. There can be good or bad chemistry between you and coworkers; there's a certain type of chemistry between friends, family members....everybody. I've experienced situations in which I felt a tremendous physical chemistry for a man but knew that was the only connection there could be, so just let it go--chemistry is not enough. In my experience, it's always a combination of factors and chemistry is one of them; not the most important and certainly not the least. If you don't know there's a chemical reaction between you and another person by observing their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, actions, reactions, etc., then you'll have to ask them what they feel/think about you. | |
|
| |
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:38:11 AM | Chemistry is actually the thing that play a role in attraction.
In the relationship "phase", IMO, it is other "subjects" such as Home EC, Economics, Physics, Psychology, Geography, Sex Ed, etc that play the key part. Ah yes, and Law, for the divorce stage! | |
|
| |
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:43:49 AM | | I agree with eazk... its was flutterbyes when i met my ex and my present and its big flutterbyes that keep me there...call it what ya wish chemistry and flutterbyes do the trick. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:55:40 AM | "You cheater you just copied me ......"
Not quite! Compare and contrast the two posts and thou shall see tha difference.
To the eye doctor ASAP!!!! lol
Teach, teach, she called me a cheater!!!
I may be a ... Player but I have never cheated, at school or elsewhere!
So I shoud add Medicine to the list of subjects. And English 101. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:18:32 AM | Yes chemistry matters - but it is only one piece of the puzzle - without ease of communication, intellectual compatibility, spiritual compatibility, lifestyle compatibility, social compatibility and similar sex drive - all the great chemistry in the world wont build a relationship - it only builds intimacy without a foundation.
To build a relationship without chemistry is like finding a room mate - they may be comfortable to live with but there is no passion that inspires a deeper level of shared intimacy or bonding. Chemistry is the magnet attractor that creates that desire to be with the other person. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:30:23 AM | You can definitely have chemistry with someone and the relationship still goes wrong. We've all had those "fightin-and-(f)uckin" relationships. As dysfunctional as they may be, it's because there's chemistry. But then again, I failed chemistry ...  | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:41:16 AM | I like Chemistry. You put these two things together and leap back.. Just in case they don't mix and go boom.
But when the two are compatable, no telling what can happen. Once put a tiny drop of stuff on a chemical and in an instant my desk was its own little volcano.. Upset the teacher though. LOL
In truth. Life is like chemistry in school. Sometimes two people get together and its like witnessing an earthquake.
Sometimes they combine together to make something wonderful. Chemistry plays a large roll in relationships in my opinion. You either go well together, or you become explosive. Then there is the two that just sit there. They notice each other, they get along, but there are never any sparks. They can even be friends. That means there is no chemistry at all between them.
Which isn't bad, it just isn't great. I like to be with women that spark fires around me. Makes me feel good being near them. When parted I feel I am missing something. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:45:12 AM | Well a relationship is really a lot like high school science.
At first, its all about BIOLOGY.
If it lasts a while it certainly involves CHEMISTRY.
At a certain age, or with sufficient weight gain, its really just a matter of PHYSICS. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:42:12 PM | I find chemistry to be like the petrol in an engine.
Most people have a little bit of chemistry, but every so often you find someone you have a lot with. If the spark ignites, you get a massive flame. But if the spark is put out, no flame, just a whole load of liquid. Oh, yeah, sometimes, the petrol can burn itself real quick.
Chemistry with the right person is great, but you need to ignite that spark. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:08:58 PM | So here are my questions:
are we really confusing physical attraction as something more?
If you think of the longest running relationships in your life (friends, family), do you think that those relationships last because of chemistry?
If chemistry is nothing more than certain hormones that peak, and then wane and are hopefully replaced by 'feel good/security/cuddle' hormones, OR if chemistry is mutual vibration based on a person (like attracts like), then its inevitable that when people change, that chemistry changes.
For me, I would want to be compatible on all levels (physical and otherwise) more than living my life on the whim of hormones and 'flutterbyes'. My long-standing life relationships are built and have lasted out of respect and appreciation and love even when I don't like a person on certain days, or for certain behaviours...
Just a thought... | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:18:00 PM | I think the term "chemisty" is as over used as "closure."
I think we are attracted to what we are familiar with. So when you find someone with common interests, they are attractive, are capable of communicating, etc, then that becomes a bonus. | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:30:27 PM | So after reading all threads here, it seems that alot of people in the single world would like to have a/ some sort of Chemical reaction. So, its clear out of the 20 - 25 posts here every one looks for a Chemical reaction in some way, but, some also look for looks in a guy/gal so does this mean those guys/gals who are less fortunate who are just plain and simply average does this mean there "Chemistry" isnt as strong? cos they aint "drop dead gorgous"? I have noticed out of all the posts here when talking about relationships not many look for personality is this cos its outside the "Chemical Reaction" people have in finding a partner?
I tend to think if you meet a guy/gal and ones heart and emotions start to explode this is a good sign of a good relationship,but, on the other hand I also look at the fact that to have a good relationship you have to have a good foundation and to have a good foundation you need "Chemistry" so if you have "chemistry" in a friend does this mean or is it ment to be that its the wrong sort of "chemistry"? Isn't "Chemistry" just "Chemistry" no matter what or who its in ( as long as its not family )? As we all know your partner has to be your lover, partner, FRIEND, soul mate, ect,ect for it to work out for a long time so if your partner is your friend does it mean when people say "Chemistry" in a friend is different how is it different when your partner is ment to be a friend as well and friendship is grounds for a long lasting relationship.
I may be wrong but if you have something in common with each other there is "chemistry" so it means some where along the line we who have replied to this thread all have something in common so do we have a Chemical reaction? I take it we all like to go to the bars and chill out with friends so we if this is the case theres "chemistry" but there is no physical attraction so my point being here is looks dont have anything to do with "chemistry" thats just our personal preference......
Happy hunting to you all.............
Al | |
|
| Does CHEMISTRY play a part in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:47:28 PM | Okay, yet another thread on chemistry in a relationship, and how that chemistry has to be there upon meeting a person.
I have a question - if chemistry upon meeting someone is what is important, why is it that most everyone who seems to know how important this is and have said they have had it before, are single?
I guess people still are hoping that some day they will have that chemistry with someone upon meeting them, and it will actually work. Or maybe people are just insane and keep doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results.
Anyone I know that is in a successful long term relationship (and that does not mean a couple years), the chemistry developed between them as they took the time to get to know each other. | |
|
Home
login 
