| [under moderator review]As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:00:38 PM | I personally find it extremely offensive when the first message I get from a woman inquires as to what my profession is. To me, it's no more offensive than in sending a first message to a woman asking about her cup size or if she deepthroats.
I have had this happen more than once and would like someone else's perspective.
I'm sorry, I guess the shallowness amazes me at times.
Brad | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:12:32 PM | | Huh? "What do you do for a living?" strikes me as a standard conversational bit, rather than an offensive personal question. Me, I'm a computer programmer, I work in lower Manhattan for a large insurance company, I'd put something about that in all my personal ads, and if I hadn't, I'd expect that it would be one of the first things they'd ask about. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:13:18 PM | OK, so how big is your johnson?
You KNOW that's what she really meant. (not gonzo, the lady with the email)
Fry | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:14:15 PM | Ted..again to me just another way of asking..HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?
Again, I find that offensive. But to each his own. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:14:44 PM | Yeah i think you have made a good point Brad......Its almost like women use this piece of information to make an assumption of your charactor or they want to see weather they will hae to pay for the date! Its sad that there are women who do exist. I mean professions play a big part in our lives, an you have to ask questions to get to know someone but if its the first few questions women are asking you, in my opinion it does seem a little shallow.
Zoe x | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:15:01 PM | You're right, that was mean....I should just ask the other appropriate question...
How much money do you make? 'Cause I won't talk to any man who makes less than a six-figure salary and can afford to take me away for skiing holidays (never mind that I've never skied in my life).
Let me know and get back to me.
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:19:11 PM | Why is asking what you do for a living offensive? Yes, it MIGHT be a way of gauging how much money you make, but it is just as likely--maybe more so--to be a way of judging whether your professional and educational status are on par with hers or with what she prefers in a mate. Or maybe she wants an idea of whether you're going to have any free time; some professions are far more demanding than others. Now if she asks how much money you make...
--Ms. Flis | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:19:49 PM | | OP, you have 3 pictures: 2 with what looks like an expensive suit, and a third with a huge car in the back. If you don't want to be judged on your job, don't look like a super-rich guy. Search for guys your age in your neighbourhood, and look at their photos. Take some pictures a bit more similar in style. You can still look good, just don't look quite as much like a man with a massive wallet hanging out his pants. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:20:21 PM | It is not polite to ask about money...but to ask what a person does for a living doesn't seem rude to me?
I peeked at your profile and you say and I quote
I also should probably add that I have somewhat of a fetish for great sheets, my current ones are 1000tc.
Geez 1000 ct. sheets ??? Those are like $450.00 a set....Do you by any chance work in the Egyptian sheet making industry????  | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:21:11 PM | OP, I understand where you are coming from. It's like a screening process for some people. I dated an attorney for years and whenever we went to one of their watering holes, someone usually asked me if I was an attorney as well. If I said no, it was like I wasn't worth talking to because I couldn't talk shop...My ex hated other attorneys just for that reason  | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:22:12 PM | | It doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. I have guys IRL ask me that all the time. Just part of a conversation, looking for common ground. | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:22:22 PM | It's hard to say - people place things in different orders on their priority list. It's not the first question I will ask someone, but it will usually come up at some point because most of us work for a living. I'm often asked when contacted from someone here - I think they are just trying to make conversation. Meanwhile, it's right there in black and white in my profile so I can assume that the person asking hasn't read the profile - especially since it's hard to forget my profession once you've read what it is.
Anyway, it can be rude if they are asking to see how much money you make - however, that is a priority for some people. Also, knowing one's profession tells you a bit about the person. It can also give some clues as to how much time he has to devote to a relationship. Also, some people make a lot of money by being professional gamblers or in other interesting ways - so they may just want to know that too.
You know what I would do if I were you? I'd ask them why they want to know - then you can answer (or not) accordingly. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:23:29 PM | Indigo, great point....excellent point.....and I bet those 100o ct'ers feel great on your 'spensive boxers....(I tried...but the funny didn't come)....  | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:24:03 PM | OP-you don't mention your profession in your profile and that could be part of the reason you're being asked. If you were at a bar and started a conversation with a woman and she asked you what your profession is, would you be offended and consider her shallow for asking?
I don't see how asking someone their profession is shallow as I'm asked this question very often by men when I chat with them. This medium of communication can sometimes be frustrating because EACH person interprets from their perspective what is written and without voice inflection and face-to-face interaction, I believe many things can be misinterpreted by both parties | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:32:14 PM | "To me, it's no more offensive than in sending a first message to a woman asking about her cup size or if she deepthroats. " HOW is that even seen the same?! That depends on what type of work you do. I don't feel it is prying on your income. I never took it that way when asked or never asked a guy why they wanted to know. IF you feel that way then you are too uptight op.IF asked just ask her why she wants to know first. Seriously , it is not about the income always.Please don't pat yourself on the back so much, it may not feel so good after a while even IF you are laying in those 1000 ct. sheets and have silky 'spencive boxers on, your back is still bare and exposed..stop assuming Op.
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:33:40 PM |
To me, it's no more offensive than in sending a first message to a woman asking about her cup size or if she deepthroats.
Huh.... Okaaaaaaay.......
Do do you? Deep throat, that is? lol
I don't think I'd equate it to that extreme, but it IS offensive, nonetheless....
Good thing they write it in their first message... it's a great weeding process, don'tcha think?
Bullie | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:34:53 PM | Hi
I agree with you there, I too would find that offensive as it happens....
Mind you I seem to get lots of dim wits who can't think of a sentence so they put loads of xxxxxxx to make up the letters. Lol makes me want to ask the question. " how big is your brain " lol.... just my warped sense of humour... | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:36:47 PM | OP~ Offensive....LOL...as you proudly display pics of you in a tuxedo and with a BMW behind you. You're out trolling for women 33 years younger than you. What a self-absorbed a$$ you are....all because you're not clever enough to handle the question in a way that makes both of you feel good. And then you equate that question to bra size and deep throating to asking what you do for a living.....sheesh, it's no damn wonder we have so many lesbians in the world....half of them run screaming from the likes of guys like you.
OK.....the other EAZK will be back to the keyboard in a few minutes. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:37:55 PM | | I guess I could see how that could be off putting as the first question right out of the gate. However, you have nothing listed in your profession field, and that will deter a lot of women (or cause those who don’t automatically discount you to ask questions). Just as men avoid the gold digger, women will avoid the gold brick. I have seen others use brevity in this field, (e.g., professional; employed full-time; I have a job) which shows potential suitors that you are responsible; yet it does not reveal too much, lest you attract those with less than honorable intentions. Perhaps you would get better results if you "fill in the blanks", so to speak. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:47:03 PM |
As a guy, I find it offensive...
How interesting, because as a woman, I would feel offended if someone DIDN'T ask what I did. Career choices can be important indicators about your skills, personality, passions, education.......or, maybe it's just a job to make ends meet while other things going on in your life are more important (volunteer work, caring for family, etc), but regardless, you likely spend a fair amount of your time at your profession. Also, there is a vast difference between people that love their jobs and thrive in them and those that keep toiling along without purpose at something they hate.
I would ask a man (obviously not right off the hop, but as conversation and communication develops) what he does because if he has a career that is morally reprehensible to me (or mine is to him), it might not be worth pursuing a friendship/relationship. It's not about the money, but it is definitely important.
If a profile says "prefer not to say", I probably won't read further. | |
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