| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:40:51 PM | Hi girls (& guys if you want to give me your experiences),
whenever I fail to receive a reply from an opening message I give up, I presume they young lady I have my eye on has no interest in me & so don't bother with a follow up. Am I giving up too easily? I'm not talking about saying something weird & stalker like "why didn't you reply to my first e-mail?", perhaps something more like "I guess I didn't manage to impress you with my first message, so can I have a second chance..."
So what should I do? Give up after one shot or perceiver? | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:57:41 PM | If she's read it, but hasn't replied, then I'd give up.
Seeing that it's read, you might want to give her a day or two to reply. If you see it's read/deleted... then that's a clear rejection.
While the whole "read/deleted" thing is annoying, and rude... at least you have a definite answer. Having it just "read" but not getting an answer leaves you wondering for a couple of days. :p | |
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PHK
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Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:38:30 PM |
whenever I fail to receive a reply from an opening message I give up, I presume they young lady I have my eye on has no interest in me & so don't bother with a follow up
Thank You!
Please DO NOT send more messages! If this person checks to see if their message was read and ALSO emails AGAIN (doesn't matter what is said, it's an assumption that they aren't responding), as another poster in another thread said, "Can you imagine what dating this person would be like?! No thank you!" Do it too much and I will block  | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:01:07 PM | | I get 20+ messages a day. Sometimes it can be hard to tell who's interested and who's just sending out mass emails. If your first email could possibly be considered the latter, a follow up email is a must. But only if your first has been read. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:46:00 PM | | that sux, oh well i dont post my pic, so i dont get a lot of replys. to be honest i judge guys by their pic...i mean to be honest...im kinda shallow.. but arent we all... or rather we can be to varying degrees... | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:58:53 PM | | Check over the message a couple days after you sent it and see if you still like what you wrote to her. If so, and no reply, don't bother. But I have had some people message me again saying they worded something poorly and made a better 2nd impression. But for the most part, theres no answer for a reason. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:15:26 PM | Well,
When I go out looking at profiles, I like to think that I'm at least a little choosy and don't just shoot an email to anybody. So, when I pick a woman to email I guess I find myself hoping that I'll get a response. I know I might be getting my hopes up too high but it gets pretty discouraging when you have the guts to make the effort and not get a response, it's a pretty sad feeling when you accept that she's not going to respond. Especially when you thought that woman would have been a killer match for you. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:18:21 PM | | If it's read/delete don't send another message, as she's clearly not interested. If it was read, I'd send a polite message after a few days, something like 'Hey remember me? I e-mailed you about X the other day. I'm still interested in getting to know you if you'd like to get to know me. Hope to hear from you soon" or something similar. She may have read your e-mail and not had time to respond, or couldn't think of something witty to say at that moment and decided to reply later but maybe forgot or something. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:39:31 PM | | Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but sometimes if I'm in a hurry, I'll check my emails, but not answer until later. So if someone sees "read" and I haven't answered, that doesn't mean I'm not going to. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/6/2007 2:31:33 AM | Here is the deal. Write a good first response (so you think), it's got all the "goodies" (search that if you dont know what it is)
No response, but read/saved or read/deleted. Do one more email, with an expanded version of your first email. DO NOT REPEAT STUFF. If its still read, deleted or saved. Move on brother.
I guess the key is how long do you wait? This is where the girl expirience comes into effect. I never 2nd email. I always try my best on the first go. However I have probably 2nd emailed a few, just cuz I thought they were cool and honest.
There are some really good women on here. There are some f'd up women on here.
Good luck man. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/6/2007 3:41:45 AM | I do believe that no resonse is a response. HOWEVER, if you're really interested in someone sometime ya gotta get off yre arse and be a little different!! there are a gazillionnnnnnnnnn fish in this pond and lots an lot of daily emails, if ya wanna get noticed, you might jsut have to cause a little scene! the tricky part is to do it without appearing to be a frikkin nutjob. not sure how to do that.....but hey, we're all total strangers here. if you appear to be a nutjob, so what??? at least ya tried!
I dont think a guy is a loonie if he writes to me multiple times. I never think that. I think he is assertive and willing to take a chance. I like that......have you ever gone to one of those fish ponds to feed the fish? I think they are some large japanese type Goldfish(koi?), they're huge and when they see a person on the pier ready to toss food out these fish will SWARM!! They are THICK, all pushing and shoving and literally crawling on top of each other and OUT of the water onto each others backs...trying to get the most attention and the most food. Sometimes in the POF pond we might have to do that too.
or not.
whatever works for you. | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:22:16 AM | You have to do whatever makes it easy for you to sleep at night. I second message a few, but most of the time, it's a one shot deal, if they aren't able to figure out I'm a good catch on the first email, they probably don't deserve me. Give it your best shot, first time. Most of the time, I'm filling in the blanks on there profile with stuff that I hope and what would be perfect for me. That's normally not the case but you have no way to know. When they read my profile there aren't many blanks, so they can make a better decision then I could. I just wish I knew how many and which ones were almost at the point of writing back. Those are the ones I need to talk more too and hopefully meet.
Somehow in this modern world with the prospect of being able to select from millions on the net, we have come to expect perfect matches at the begining of a relationship, in the old days you found somebody you could live with and often it became perfection after you grew together through the years. Often it didn't and it still doesn't, nothing has changed, except now we have higher expectation because of those reports we hear of somebody getting lucky and finding perfection on the net. A successful relationship is the probably the hardest thing you will ever work at in your life. Many are not up to the challenge.
The thing about contacting people that really gripes me on here is the 75 mile limit thing. Sure everybody would love to find that perfect mate right next door, but I would imagine that 95% with that limit set would have no problem with 100 miles or maybe even 2000 miles if that person was a perfect match. You would not believe the contortions I've gone through to contact some people on here, writing to another guy or gal to ask him to tell this woman that I want to talk to her, google the name or key words in the profile and hope they are on another site or with the same name and an email, etc.
I've got a longer row to hoe then most on here, so I've seen it and done it all. Get me one on one and meeting face to face on the dance floor and I'm in like flint, but getting them off the net and face to face is near impossible when your profile has one negative. For me that could be age, lifestyle, kids, Kansas, I often feel all this is useless wasted effort, but somehow I always comeback and still find hope.
Good luck, Jon | |
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| Sending more than one message without receiving a reply.
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:29:12 AM |
I get 20+ messages a day. Sometimes it can be hard to tell who's interested and who's just sending out mass emails. If your first email could possibly be considered the latter, a follow up email is a must. But only if your first has been read.
I would agree with that sentiment. Also, I don't think a 2nd e-mail necessarily makes you needy. Guys are hunters and are supposed to be assertive. Of course, if you've gone out with the girl and then let her walk all over you, call her up every second of the day, etc. well, then you're needy or a wuss.
OP: you really have nothing to lose by a 2nd e-mail. What is the worst thing she is going to do.. unread/delete? And I wouldn't feel bad about it either. While girls have every right to reject guys without responding, by choosing this tact, they should also expect the occassional follow-up from guys they're not interested in.
A 3rd e-mail is guaranteed to be wasting both of your times. | |
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