| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:02:22 AM | Ok out of curiosity.....
If you are dating someone, and getting on really well with each other. When would you change being single, to actually seeing someone/not single?
I myself after experience of changing profiles very quickly (out of respect), and the guys often more than not, not changing thier profiles, yet acting as if it's a relationship, i just like to bide my time a bit, and take things slowly now. Therefore date for a while, and see how something grows naturally.
I think that if you put pressure on someone that it can be very offputting.
I've seen many date people more than once, and still keep thier options open meeting others....
Is dating someone consistently actually a relationship? Does it mean your actually exclusive to solely them?
Be interesting to see what people's perception on this would be....
What does everyone think?
Mr Brightside: Yes i think your totally right there........i had it changed to not single/not looking, for a while and very few questioned it! Yeah i agree with the single/not looking box being added!!! Maybe something to put forwards to Big Fish?
SJS: Yep again i totally agree with it should be questioned if one wants to do so, and the other doesn't!! | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:06:15 AM | I dont think many people read profiles properly anyway!
I had mine set to " Not Single/Not looking" a while ago, not because I was seeing anyone, but because I wasnt looking but nobody ever questioned it on their mails to me lol
I interpret the " / " to mean either/or .. although most assume it means you arent single.
how about a " Single/Not Looking" option being added to the drop down box | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:06:53 AM | I haven't yet been in a situation where I had to make that decision, MT. (I'm living in desperate hope, though!).
I think that once things are obviously bouncing along well, and you are both in agreement that it's exclusive, then you should both change your profile.
If one doesn't and the other does, then at least one of you should be questioning the 'partnership' committment! | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:14:26 AM | I too live in hope that I get the chance to change mine!
I must admit I have been caught out on that one so I pay more attention now.
At what point do you do change your prof , errrrmmmm thats a toughy, you might write on yours " happy in my relationship blah blah and then next thing you know, your assumed boyfriend is saying he wants to slow things down (after seeing what you have put on your prof)" you cant win!
I agree there should be a "Fresh 1974 not looking right now" option perhaps? maybe then the assumed boyfriend wont run off thinking that your looking at wedding dresses after 3 months!
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:41:15 AM | I'm waiting for them to introduce the option of........
single/given up all hope.
Then I'll probably change it. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:55:05 AM |
I'm waiting for them to introduce the option of........
single/given up all hope.
Then I'll probably change it.
Personally i'm waiting for something similar but more along the lines of...
"considering giving up looking" | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:09:52 AM | | Id change it out of respect and mention it on my profile but Ive seen it done by others and the relationship crashed and burned before it really began...But I reckon when I change it I will have every intention of working to keep the change on my settings LOL... | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:23:09 AM |
Is dating someone consistently actually a relationship? Does it mean your actually exclusive to solely them?
Be interesting to see what people's perception on this would be...
If I had been dating or seeing someone for a bit, and we started sleeping together and everything was going ok, say if I really liked this person and wanted a relationship with them I would probably change my profile to not single/not looking but I would talk it over with her first. If she didn't agree then the relationship probably wouldn't work and I'd call it a day. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:29:07 AM | good idea to change it / not single/not looking , but it makes me wonder after a time with someone. that they need to be on a dating site . ok would love to read your answers to this one.  | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:37:25 AM | Change it to "friends" and see how the relationship goes if its early days !! I have twice in the past just hidden my profile when i have been seeing someone and just used the forums . The worlds ya lobster !!!  | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:56:25 AM |
good idea to change it / not single/not looking , but it makes me wonder after a time with someone. that they need to be on a dating site . ok would love to read your answers to this one.
I can answer that one, simpy to use the forums and to chat with friends that i have made.
Its easy to send a thanks but no thanks reply to any messages received. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:01:07 AM | I wonder whether mine is already showing as 'not single/not looking' cos I get very few messages suggesting dates, even as a sloppy second!! I know I set it as single tho!
Answer to the question - I would change it by mutual agreement with the person I was seeing. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:43:26 AM | | ok call naieve but i am new to the forums, and this site all together.......but since this is a dating site, why stay on here once you have found someone?/???? or is the forums part completely different to the other bit?? | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 6:22:42 PM | i dont get why your asking the forum members and not talking to your 'date' who you are obviouly 'seeing' .. .. .. ..
question is .. are you still up for meeting other people at the moment .. if not ,, then you should change it . so you dont lead other people along a tangent ... or the person you are 'seeing' ...
i thought it was common sense ...  | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:15:09 PM | If I were seeing someone and it went past the 2nd or 3rd date then I would change it over to friends .After that would depend on how the relationship was going as to when it would be changed over to not single / not looking.
I do agree the site should have different options though in the drop down boxes. Single and not free to date would be a better option for some.Or in a relationship but experience tells me that people don;t read what you select anyhow.
Many times I have put not single and stated with someone and I have still had mail asking me out. If they were able to read they would know the answer doh !!  | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:36:28 PM | | I have had mine on Not single/Not looking for some time now,but it doesnt stop men mailing and asking for dates.I changed mine after i had been dating for a little while i have a long distance relationship and had been seing him for about 2-3 months before changing it. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 1:34:06 AM | Pebs: i would hardly call seeing someone just for one date, is classed as a relationship!!!! Hell, think plenty of folks would scarper at that if that's how you think of things......I'm actually trying to see where in my first post where i put i was seeing someone????? hmmmmm....nope didn't think so......
However, if i am in a 'relationship' i have ALWAYS changed my profile. I am not in a relationship, so no need to change it at the moment. But, as stated before, how many folks read profiles properly???? Not a lot do!!
We all know what the net can be like. Too much eye candy, too much choice........and lots of experience from lots of people on how something that starts so nice, can easily change after a few weeks on the net.
After experiencing this......i would not call one date a 'relationship' it would take a few dates for me to call something that..... | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 4:19:32 AM | It takes two to make a relationship, and that relationship should be based on mutual understanding and committment towards both the relationship, and each other.
When you believe you are both ready for that commitment, then it is time to change your status. It is not based on the number of dates you have had, and if you change your profile, before the other is ready to give that commitment, then it can cause unnecessary pressure on the relationship, which could lead to the end of the relationship.
As to reading profiles, although I seldom mail anyone, if I do, I will always read there profile beforehand. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 4:51:06 AM |
i would not call one date a 'relationship' it would take a few dates for me to call something that.....
Each to their own OP, I would be offended if I went on even one date with someone, and they were still looking ... doesn't look or sound good to me, you're either going for it or your not! Wheres the rocket science in this? .. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 4:59:14 AM | lol this is hilarious :
Pebs: i would hardly call seeing someone just for one date, is classed as a relationship!!!! / Who said it was ?????? So you are saying you are a player then, and see more than one person at a time, until they've satisfied your insecurity and you can call them a partner ??? | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:01:30 AM | Yes each to thier own. Once you have tried one way, and it hasn't worked you know your own limits, and know what works for people who you are interested in. It's called communication....
If someone changes thier profile and the other gets scared of it, and backs off......sorry been using net dating for over 6 years, after mostly being the one to jump on board quickly, and it always ended quickly.......i'm taking my time (and you will find other people probably doing the same thing - so is that so wrong!!!??) . Who said anything about meeting anyone else anyway if i was with someone/or dating someone? Jumping the gun again............
I wasn't really interested in meeting people for anything other than friendship, on a first meet, no expectations and no disappointments....
Be interesting to see how many people it has worked for after one date, and lasted the lengths of time.........
Pebs: u dont half make me laugh......
where does it say im meeting other people, let alone seeing someone????? please look on my posts....just where???? lol
and actually the people who know me, know the real me, and they know i wouldn't meet loads and loads at the same time....that is all that matters....
Judgemental!!!
Oh and i was asking how others percieve thier own experiences! But, think got the gist of yours.......
Plenty of bunny boilers around isn't there........lol (which is usually the case if one wants more than the other)
God give me strength!! lol
Well no not attention seeking, because i never said i was seeing someone or not! lol hmmmmm.........
Thankyou very much to take the opportunity to send replies......i've had a lot of experience, and i am quite focused when it comes to that 'special someone' thankyou :-)
Thankyou student nurse...i agree dating is not a relationship until its both agreed shouldn't be seeing others......!!! | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:06:20 AM |  If i had had changed my profile after every 'one date' i had been on.......................................... Stalker alert!! lmao
I didnt change my profile until the morning after we had agreed that we would give a relationship a go, and even then i waited for him to call me and ask me if i was 'still single' then as i hadnt changed it immediately..................well i didnt want to appear to be overly eager, besides he may have changed his mind!! 
Dating in my opinion is not actually a relationship until the two of you sit down and make it 'exclusive' or official that you will no longer be actively seeking anything else from anyone else. | |
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:07:35 AM | ... communication is great, education is better, to learn from an old experience, just 'cos it didn't work the first time round, prejudice says it wont work again.
its better to move on and learn from an experience, not let it taint and effect the rest of our life.
from the sounds of your replies, you answered your own questions, was it not an attention seeking activity to post a thread about an issue you seem so sure about anyway
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| Changing single to seeing someone
Posted: 6/7/2007 9:49:03 AM | | i was thinking about this....whenever someone puts up notsingle/notlooking...should they still be aloud on?..........(i can feel the hatred)......arghhh...... | |
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