| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:33:18 AM | I am just wondering if anyone else knows just whether there are any "rules" as such to dating. Do you think it's different because it's on the net? Is anyone else confused by the whole dating world?
I would love people to contribute to this thread to add what they believe to be the rules of dating in the 2000s.
For example: Should a girl ask the guy out after chatting for a while?
Who should inititate contact?
Do you think it should be an individual thing and just BE yourself, and if they don't like it, lump it?
Do you think there should be rules to dating?
Do you think you should be able to ask a simple question and get a simple answer rather than wondering what they are actually thinking?
Guys and girls, help!!!! | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:00:45 AM | | wow. im pretty sure everyone is going to have something different to say, so in the end you will know just as much as you do now haha. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:21:16 AM | | Hun there are no rules, its life. Just like any other social interactions you have the choices are ultimately up to you whether you make first move or not. Do what is right for your morals and values. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:36:32 AM | | What I'm finding is each person has their own set of rules. So, it is a bit confusing but can be a great avenue to learn to relax. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:55:51 AM | There are no dating rules any more. It's time to make your own decisions based on your own instincts, wants, needs, morals, conscience, etc. and basing the entire mindset on the golden rule. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.
But then again, my rules aren't your rules (except in law) so you have to make your own rules. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:23:46 AM | why do you people believe that there should be rules?
meeting people, getting to know them, wanting to get to know them better, deciding you like them, maybe falling in love, etc should all happen naturally.
Why would you expect there to be an official set of rules that will make it happen for? | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:34:20 AM | nope no rules
just go with the flow
should never differ from online to off line
online does allow us to chat and view a persons info( if its true ) but then you have to meet them live eventually lol
just think about what it was like when we were in high school
add maturity and work from there | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:19:25 AM | Rules, then who would be the referee to say that you are breaking the rules?...
You can't put forth rules, all you can do is be yourself... | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:33:53 AM | | There definetly are rules for guys, although they are unwritten. This is what girls use to weed out undesirables. There aren't too many rules for girls, they pretty much have free reign. Good hygiene, decent looks, and a positive attitude are all a girl needs to be successful with men. Men also require the above but other things are also required if a man is to be good with women. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 12:12:23 PM | | "All is fair in love and war". But I am not sure regarding dating!! | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:51:14 PM | 1. Do what I want.
2. Like it.
Those are the only rules I know for dating.
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:53:22 PM | rawkitty said it best, I second that Too.
Hun there are no rules, its life. Just like any other social interactions you have the choices are ultimately up to you whether you make first move or not. Do what is right for your morals and values.
IMHO ... know what you want, don’t be to rushy into a relationship, and for the love of all that is HOLY, if you see something you like in some stranger “Don’t be afraid to go ASK for a E-mail and chat”
No RISK, No Rewards.
Knight
P.S. (don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, AND Don't let other people be reckless with yours)  | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:47:21 PM | | Forget the rules. Use your heart. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:49:48 PM | Here's my #1 rule: respect yourself! Let no man mistreat you. Of course #2 should be: respect the man you're with even when you know you have no future with him...don't order expensive drinks, don't flirt with other guys while out with him. Just common sense courtesy!
As for the rest, go with your instincts. If you're unsure of your instincts, then read books on human inter-dynamics. I know alot of people here in these forums disapprove of reading dating books, but I disagree. Sometimes our parents or friends can be lousy mentors when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. You need to learn somehow! There's no shame in expaqnding your knowledge through reading dating books.
Best wishes. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 3:58:12 PM | Just be yourself.
Don't dismiss someone as not a romantic potential. You might be gaining a GREAT friend. Lovers come and go. Friends stay around a LOT longer.
Don't lie.
Don't grandstand.
DO show interest in what the other person is saying. Pay attention to what is NOT being said. The latter is a huge learning curve when sussing out the other.
Don't be needy.
DO love yourself first.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Do what you promise to do.
This'll do for a start.
WD | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 4:58:42 PM | I second that whitedahlia
well said and well put ! | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:45:23 PM | I haven't figured out "the rules" when it comes to break-ups. How do you break off a relationship (even casual dating) without the woman thinking that you hate her?  | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/9/2007 9:29:36 PM | | When you try internet dating....first I think you should stick to same guidelines you would normally use or "standards", but you have an extra added twist when online dating.....you gotta use some common sense....for example...i normally chat with someone at least 2 weeks before exchanging phone #'s.... same applies for personal email addresses.....when I meet someone for the first time I try to make sure it is in public place for safety purposes....If I run in to someone that is feeling ackward about posting their picture or jokes alot about being embarrassed being on internet dating....i talk with them about it and ask them if they feel internet dating is right for them....if you feel embarrassed then it may not be right for you.....so I won't date someone feeling ackward about it...I feel they are not ready or are having issue with meeting people this way.....I personally think it is very modern and I love it...especially for older people who may be busier than the younger generation and this to me is a great "tool" for communicating with other single people....I encourage younger people in their 20's or earlier to stick to old fashioned way of dating to develope their social skills in person....those are skills that are important...well that's my few simple rules i go by.....try not to have too many rules..... | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:57:18 AM | | I never kiss a girl on the first 2-3 dates.... Its just a thing I do... feels weird....... | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/10/2007 1:07:36 PM | I have read many books and articles from so-called experts in the dating game and this and that. Some of the information is good, true, but more often than not, it deals with a whole bunch of game playing. "When you get a chicks number, dont call until three days later as to not seem desperate" and all that s**t. It's all well and good but at the end of the day, you'll get tired of playing them. And you'll end up resenting women (if you are a male that actually believes you have to follow the 101 rules of dating..) and figure it's just best to be you. You may not have a great sex life (contrary to popular belief, most women don't go for guys who are "just themselves"), but occasionally a man might meet a female that's just cool like that and is down for the individual he is.
Hey, who said that life was either fair or worth a damn? Ya dig? | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/10/2007 7:06:56 PM | F rules!! i was thinking this earlier that everyone has dating rules that they have come up with and now they use them as ways to say that someone is not good enough. yes its a weeding out process but shouldnt the person behind the labels be what you are concerned about....so what people call preferences i really think are rules that they wont tolerate being bent, let alone broken
here is a sample list of some of the more common ones that i have seen....
~no separated/married people....isnt separated just a break from the marriage to go and get some on the side? or you might go running back to make everything work
~no single parents....they dont have time/money/energy/anything to offer
~drugs....you dont say no, i say no to you
~smokers.....ew, ashtray breath?! NFW
~divorced....i see you failed at marriage once already, why should you get a second chance
~education.....what? no phd? well i dont accept anything less so dont bother
~no pic...sorry, i wont even read your message
~glasses.....i dont want my face cut up when we kiss, sorry
~kiss on the 1st date...sorry dont wanna get raped either so you aint gettin any buddy
~girls asking a guy out...um that makes the girl a whore and dont you know we still live in the dark ages
~30 min drive.....babe, have you seen the gas prices yet, wouldnt want to go outta my way to see ya
i talk to everyone, i dont give 2 sh!ts about the labels that are given to you, i will decide for myself....just remember, the more rules you have, the harder it gets to meet anyone | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 8:46:46 AM | There are no rules really as everyone has their own. Do your own thing and be true to yourself, throw back anyone who isn't what your looking for. This isn't a church social where you are obligated to talk to everyone. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 8:59:24 AM | | The only rule I would ever set for dating is to play safe!!! Any other rule would be a detriment to meeting people you may likewise connect with!! Rules often deter you from the real connections - because being so stringent will not allow for things to flow as they should naturally!!!! | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:20:41 AM | Here's a few 2007 dating rules:
If you are promiscuous, you get stds, aids, 101 disease manifestations, you get very sick and you die early.
If you sleep around or sleep with just anybody on the first date: You get a case of stds aids and you get 101 std caused diseases and you die early.
If your not monogamous, if you sleep around, you get syphilis, gonnorhea, herpes, etc. and this becomes loss of eyesight, dementia, skin diseases, heart attacks, diabetes, premature alheimers, arthritis and/or 101 other deadly manifestations of syphilis, where ever the syphilis worms/ spirochettes nest in your body is where you get diseases, gonorrhea pus is just as deadly, and with herpes your body gets covered with warts, not cool.
So the rules for dating and marriage in 2007 are the same as dating and marriage in 1950's. Get a syphilis and std blood test from Quest laboratories for 89 dollars BEFORE you get married or become intimate.
My friends cousin went to CA and met a girl at a club who slept with him on the first date, when he woke up the next AM, the girl was gone and had written in red lipstick on his mirror, Ha Ha sucker I just gave you aids. My friends cousin was so scared he has been to the doctor 3 times since returning from CA. He is terrified the woman really gave him aids. So the rules for dating in 2000 and beyond are stay away from the amoral and promiscuous if you value your health. And take the Quest std test before co-mingling saliva, etc. Most guys who get heart attacks etc had underlying std infections that went undiagnosed and untreated causing cardiac events, etc. So be careful and get those Quest std tests done before marriage and intimacy occur. No adultery means no adultery.
Good Luck | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:29:09 AM | hi november girl,
You must love yourself ,first and foremost,and after that,you don't need to tell any lies. If you feel you want to take the initiative,because you really like a guy then do it(the two of you could be sitting saying I really like this person,but want them to make the first move DOH!) It doesn't really matter what they are thinking,it's what they do that counts. Good luck,from an old guy,who recently found love on the site,when I wasn't even looking for it. | |
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