| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/10/2007 11:25:01 AM | | there are a lot of nice people here but i find most quite annoying. if i see someone who looks interesting i will message them. the same as people message me if they like my profile. i always message back whether i'm interested or not. saying "sorry im not interested" takes two seconds and saves a lot of inconveniance lol. hardly anyone does that. most time you message someone. see in sent messages it was read and deleted. this really bothers me. anyone else find this a problem? | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/10/2007 4:22:29 PM | | I too have found it very annoying that people often don't reply.I find it lacks courtesy and the only conclusion I can come to is that people figure they can get away with this because its on the computer.Remember-there are people behind those messages and for most people ..it hasn't been easy doing on-line dating.Stop hiding behind those computers and -like funwithold says...take a minute and respond! Thats my 2 cents worth! God it feels good to get that off my chest.!!!!!!! | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:14:35 AM | I have 2 cents worth.....I've always figured if a person takes the time to write me a note, the least I can do is to be polite and respond, whether i'm interested or not. Sound good? Well, as it turns out, if the reply is a favourable one, no problem, start a chat and go on from there.
BUT...my experience has been that if I have to politely let a person know that I feel we're not right for each other, it becomes IMPOSSIBLE to disentagle from that person. That want to know why....they want to know how I can decide that we're not right for each other without a meeting. I think my reasons should be just that - mine, and the courtesy of my response should be recognized, instead of focusing on the fact that they're being (even politely) rejected. I don't know...I really don't think anyone wants to hurt anyone's feelings, but when the answer is no, it has to be respected. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:36:30 AM | You're 22. You're probably like me, looking for someone fit, fun, with a good head on her shoulders. Unfortunately on Plenty these women are hard to find, at least in our area. The ones that are have the pick of whoever they want. You're just 1 out of a 100 to them. So you about a 1% chance of a response.
But keep at it. If you do you will eventually get lucky and some nice girl will give you half a chance to show you're a good guy.
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:31:25 PM | What honestme53 said....unfortunately some people don't take rejection very well and it can get downright nasty sometimes...it happened to me too. I have had a change of heart from when I first came on here (been on here a couple of times and left) because I felt that a reply was proper. However after a couple of bad experiences with the odd nutbar, and the messages I get from women who obviously have never read my profile, because we have nothing in common made me rethink my position on that. That, plus the fact that I rarely got responses either, made me realize that on here it really isn't rude, but the norm, and for good reasons. I can't remember the last initial messge I sent to a lady because I just can't be bothered anymore. After a while, I realized I shouldn't take non-responses personally and just started to take this site for what it is...a place to chat, join in the forums, make a friend or two. Meet someone on here? Not very likely, but you never know. If, however, you use this site as your main mode of meeting someone, you are setting yourself up for major disappointment and frustration.
And that is my 2 cents, for what they are worth. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/12/2007 3:56:02 AM | Another "victim" here of the """no reply to my messages"""! But Oh well...When I do send a message I also include..."if you are interested in chatting message me back but if not...good luck, take care and have a nice day" ! But there are some that I still don't get a reply from so I assume they don't want to chat  A simple " I'm not interested" would be nice....But oh well that's it! Each to their own......
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/12/2007 3:40:25 PM | well for me rejection does not worry me I just go on to the next one. But as far as i can see everybody says thery looking for mr/miss rigth but when it comes down to it they won't give you the time of day or are to chicken to say hello. I mean come on me can all see you viewed us here and like looking at menue not ordering. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:41:52 PM | I think most of us started out thinking a non response was rude. Some still think that but have learned to live with it. Just because the majority have bad manners doesn't make it ok. I have come to look at it much the same as I look at smiling at a stranger on the street. (Which I do all the time. Where I live it is still relatively safe to do that and I'm a Maritimer, I'll probably still do it when it isn't safe.)
I f I smile at a stranger and they smile back, great, we carry on our separate ways.
If they happen to say hello, I reply. Some even exchange a few curteous words.
If they do not smile back, I do not stop and dwell on why they were so thoughtless and rude. They just didn't. Life as I have come to know it will continue, just as I will continue being friendly. A smile or a kind word is cheap and you never know if the smile you give someone, is in fact, the only one they got that day. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:23:00 PM | It wouldn't bother me. I've been fortunate in that people respond to my messages of introduction or comment on their forum response or profile, and I respond to those sent to me.
On occasion, I was busy or out of town and responded to a couple of emails that I'd email more later but forgot. That, I felt bad about. I don't like to forget or mislead people. | |
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OHM
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:01:49 AM | I too was plagued by this problem. Send an email, wait, get no response. It became a pattern.
The pattern became a spiral. The spiral became an inspiration. I curled my hair. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:54:07 AM | Here's what I don't understand about this topic: we're on a dating site, and the idea is that we all present a profile and people look at them. Clear so far? Nothing wrong yet? Well, if the idea is to 'advertise' then I'm quite happy when someone reads my 'ad' and responds to it by sending me a note.
I ALWAYS respond to EVERY message sent to me. I think it's more than a case of 'manners', it what we contracted to do when we signed up here.
I simply cannot understand, if a gentleman 'views' my profile more than once or twice, why won't he respond if I send him a note saying I saw that he looked over my profile a time or two, would he like to chat? It's just so simple, he looked at me, but won't 'talk' to me! When are the men here going grow up and stop acting like grade school kids?????: | |
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JMTJ
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Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:48:58 PM | The same could be said towards women. Lots view others profiles but pass on sending a "note" or email, and frankly, that's to be expected as there is nothing wrong with viewing a profile and then passing on to other profiles.
A lot of times, the profile picture is such that they can't see much of the person or the written portion is so brief in the search parameters, that they open it up with wanting to see the "larger" picture or the completely written profile. If it is not appealing to the person opening up your profile, then of course they move on without senting an email. And if a person changes their main picture from time to time, then the same can happen with that person and they open your profile on more than one occasion, but feel like passing again, after realizing that it was one that they already looked at and weren't interested in.
For the most part I try to answer any email sent to me, as a courtesy, and in the past have received nasty returns when I have politely indicated that I wasn't interested. But there have also been times when I have deleted without having read them, after reading a profile, "Why would this person even remotely think to email me!!!" as I've always been clear as to the type of woman that I'm interested in meeting and their profile is nothing like I have described. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/22/2007 3:24:41 AM | "MEN"....."WOMEN"..... Both sexes does it! Why is the question?????? Oh well...If it is to hard to respond to someone's message...go ahead...don't do it! Be a Foolish little fishy and go on about ya business.....LMFAO
I have to say I have only had a couple of read deleted messages that I sent to someone...other than that, I got replies back....One was even as nice as to say..."Thank you for the message but I'm not interested"..... MMmmmm Maybe he thought I wanted to be with him Was only saying hello but oh well LMFAO..... But to all that don't reply......Remember your going be old and wish you had someone to send you a message.....Woot Woot...doesn't take much to reply back....and ya don't need to be rude......just a simple "not interested"...or what ever....Also if more people had pictures in there profile they might get more responses.....
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:16:32 AM | In my relatively short experience I have found that the women I write to generaly don't reply,which is a little exasperating. I make a point to reply to anyone who writes to me, even if it is a few days later, as a matter of courtesy.
I see a lot of women say the are looking for "a man who knows how to treat a women right". I would have thought that treating any person with respect and courtesy,regardless of their sex, would be a good starting point. Maybe my profile isn't great, but a simple "Thanks for the interest, but no" would not go amiss. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/23/2007 3:21:37 AM | Yeppers...It doesn't take much to reply to someone who has sent a message...Even it the reply is "Sorry not interested"...How hard is that ? Then some wonders why they haven't met someone...
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:56:15 PM | | I know what you mean I tryed to say hello to a few women here and got nothing back from them. Even thoug they say open mind or looking for a nice guy etc. They not that open mind or nice. I mean if they don't give you the chance to chat to get to know, how will they ever know. A reply is better than no reply. Thats my two cents. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:24:56 PM | I see it is yet another "Why don't they reply?" thread. It is sort of funny. These threads inevitably appear over and over, and everybody says the same old thing and makes the same old arguments they made the last time this topic reared its ugly head.
As far as I am concerned, these threads are nothing more than places to vent people's anger at being rejected. These rejected and frustrated POFers can can lash out at the offender by telling the world how rude and horrible people like "that" (the people who reject them) are. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:49:21 AM | Actually I see this as a place to state an "OPINION" on why people don't reply to messages ,not to vent anger....If I wanted to vent some anger, it would be directly at that person in a personal message to be quite honest!
As for "rejected" or "frustrated"...not a bit in the least! Just like you newtoNFLD...its a place to give an "opinion"! Cheers
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/28/2007 5:32:26 PM | I tell ya I'd love some advice or tips on how to let someone down gently without hurting their feelings. Just saying "sorry, not interested" sounds so mean to me.  | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/30/2007 11:41:24 AM | | you know ceelie i dunno if there is a way 2 let someone down gently without hurting them i guess it depends on how attached there 2 you i would think so but if been wrong a few times in my life before lol | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:32:24 PM | You don't even have to say "I'm sorry".. because you probably are not at all sorry. Just a simple" thank you for the message, but I don't feel we would be a match."
Direct, polite and to the point.If it seems like too much effort.. copy and paste it from notepad.People are seeking partners and soulmates and god knows what else but can't take the 30 seconds to be polite... I don't get it but it doesn't seem to be changing....so be true to yourself and let the rest go. If they can't find the decency to reply, why waste time worrying about them? | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:05:31 PM | | will willow i do reply 2 all messages .and its not the matter the fact how much time it takes or the matter the intrest you have in a person 2 me its the matter off being polite | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:17:00 PM | that was my point exactly.. and if you message somebody and they can't be polite enough to reply.... why would you want to waste more time on them..?
edit..
Bad manners have become common place on the internet and in real life. People just dont seem to give a sh1t. Common practice does not make it right though.
Maybe it bothers us easterners more because we are more sociable and casual. We still talk to strangers on the street.
I dont use IM in pof.. states that in my profile.. mine doesnt work. I am referring to email messages that go unanswered.
Never hurts to be polite.. I think you misunderstood my comment . I wasnt referring to anyone in particular, just people in general who don't other to acknowledge email messages...if I mail someone and they can't be courteous enough to acknowledge it,they are most likely not anybody I care to get to know anyway. Thats what I meant abou not wasting more time on them. i appreciate gettign a response even if it says .. I dont think we are a match or rhanks but no thanks or whatever. Even P1ss Off is better than no response ... sort of.... j/king... | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:24:47 PM | | maybe they didnt recieve the message willow i know with my expereince here on POF that the IM instanst message thing dont work that fast and if ya a dial up user like me you gotta give it a little time i guess high speed maybe different and it opens right away but if i get a IM most times where im on diale up there all ready gone time i open it .but in poilteness i send a message 2 them explainging so in my view its not a waste off time | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:55:14 AM | I would not take it personally if someone does not reply as I do not always reply. Is there a reason for it? Probably not other than they are simply not interested. So in a nutshell they already told you that they are not interested by NOT replying.  | |
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