| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/10/2007 6:09:55 PM | Hi, I was wondering what you all think of meeting some one you have emailed fairly quickly? I mean if you like their profile and want to see if there is a connection, why wait several weeks and try to write insipid emails? I hate trying to write an email to someone I cannot see or gauge the reaction to my words. I have to admit I am a smart as* and make a lot of cracks that can be taken wrong when written down. Anyway, am I being weird about wanting to meet right away and get it over with or not? A couple of guys on here when I asked them if they wanted to meet fairly soon thought that a) I wanted to have sex with them, or b) I was desparate. BTW, I am not desparate or that badly in need of sex to ask a stranger lol
I signed up here to meet people and date, not to upgrade my email skills (thought they probably need it.  ) I have no idea what these guys mean but I like em | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/10/2007 6:30:28 PM | | Personaly when a guy wants to meet right away without getting to know each other a bit it makes me think hes is weird to thnk we got a connection that fast , and makes me leary ( spelling ?) of him wondering if hes moving t o fast and therefore I should back of. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:59:40 PM | I too have issues with wanting to meet right away.
Three times now I've gotten the..."Enough talk lets meet" speech.
Sorry but I don't move that fast and I have a few questions that need to be answered long before I jump off the cliff into the unknown.
Questions like: Am I wearing a parachute or is there a trampoline below?
Or Did all your ex'es survive the gun shot wounds?
It seems every time I do the unknown date rush.... I learn something on the date that just makes me want to run for the car. I'm sure this is a common experience that should be avoided. All it does is ruin what might have been something special if we knew more about each other prior.
Items like (Example only): Your a war protester and I'm in uniform just back from Iraq....Kinda awkward to say the least. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/10/2007 11:10:27 PM | I'm not into meeting someone right off the bat without getting to know them some first.
You're very cute, Camarogurl, I can see why you wouldn't be desperate
| |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:38:20 AM | I'm personally in no hurry to meet someone. I'd rather talk for a little while. Albeit sometimes I get twitchy about wanting to meet, I usually go with my better judgement and not sweat it.
It takes a lifetime to build a relationship, it takes seconds to ruin a romance. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:18:42 AM | I used to write back and forth for weeks b4 meeting. Now if I like whatever he says in his first email, we will have a telecon, and if I like that we generally meet right away. I think life is short, make the best of it but be careful. Of course we all know to meet in the daytime and a public place.
Not sure what other women ask when meeting but during the conversation I will bring up what their experiences have been on the dating sites. So many men say that women post years old pixs. and say they are a FEW POUNDS OVER, but usually end up being 30 plus lbs. I can't understand why someone would lie about their weight and what they actually look like now not 10 years ago. What do they think, that the guy won't notice when they actually meet. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:22:21 PM | | I definitely fall into the "let's meet right away" group. It has nothing to do with being desperate or weird..far from it. In my opinion you learn little about somebody through typing messages. I've had excellent email exchanges followed by a good phone conversation, and then met the person only to have it not work out at all. I learn everything I need to know when I meet somebody. I don't care how much we seem to have in common via email. That all gets blown away if there isn't any chemistry or attraction in person, so why waste a ton of time messaging back and forth? And there definitely is the issue of people lying about their appearance. The quicker I meet them the quicker the lie is discovered. Unfortunately that's how you have to think on a site like this. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:58:13 PM | When I meet a lady,I've usually talked to her for a week or so.Maybe that's why I've only met one lady from POF. I have this feeling that IMs are not a good way to talk to ladies.Plus my luck with emailing POF members is pretty spotty.I guess I need to be more a part of this group,have folks know me and(hopefully)accept me as a pal.That's the way my dating life works..most prospective dates come from yahoo groups I belong to.
Mike | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:53:52 AM | I would rather meet someone right away, then I know if I want to spend time talking to them or not. I'd rather be out having coffee meeting people than sitting in front of this. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:58:10 AM | | and how many people need to see a picture of someone before they meet them? One guy already said to me"no picture you can bye. how do you like that girl?" I didn't! | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/12/2007 5:27:42 PM | | I think not having a picture up initially is fine, as many women are frightened by the amount of weird guys that exist online. Honestly I can't blame them for not putting up a picture. But once you make initial contact with a person I think you should share a picture at that point. You mention that chatting with somebody here for days is a waste of time, and I agree with you there 10o percent. But I also think it's a waste of time to meet somebody that you have no chance of being attracted to. A picture, while not perfect, at least gives you a clue as to whether there is the potential for attraction. Just my opinion of course. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/13/2007 3:13:16 AM | We're not here for the tea.
Say we write 5 times.And like it."If this were love how would we know"?as the song goes.So meet try and blow up a spark and talk.The sooner the better.We find we get along-nothin'special.Now we can be pals."what say about ...'s profile "ya ask me. And I'll tell ya the lyin' snake I think he is.And for the record,that part of me is smart as yours."Nobody likes a s.a. But I love ladies who can tell a joke like that cable guy,and ger one in return!
Twisted's my excuse | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:59:03 AM | Lets put this into a proper perspective
I think it matters what it is that one is looking for as too how and when to meet
I’ll explained.
If one is here for hang-out, activity partner, dates, ect…
Then meet and do what is fun and that both will enjoy as soon as both are comfortable
Because the goal should be the activity, whether that be a walk on the beach, parasailing, a free trip to the Bahamas or a night of drinking and sex that will leave each satisfied for an hour, week. month, or whatever.
Again the activity is the important thing…
For those who are looking long term, it is the person that matters much more than the activity.
In this case there should be physical attraction. That attraction noted. It is a bonus. However that is only one part of a persons whole. This takes more time to sift through. All people put there best foot forward and as they become more comfortable they also become more themselves.
It is this comfortable person that you are looking for.
Is this comfortable person someone that I can be comfortable around all the time?
This is very important cause when the relationship is at this level.
Activities really no longer mean much
I know this first hand
I was with someone and we did everything, went everywhere, and we had to, to escape the fact that one of us did not have the capacity to really bond with anther…talk about chaos and drama…lol
I met a gal on here listed as long term. On the phone she sounded great. Yet the first meet and greet within an hour she wanted to make out and me to spend the night. She knew I was uncomfortable.
I knew that this would become the depth of our relationship. I also believe she knew it and that she has personality issues. Ones that are impulsive and counter productive to her goals.
Now I am as horny as the next guy. Yaeh for me. however this is not at all what a want or my life. I chose to show self-control and hold out for my own goals of falling in love and having a lasting relationship.
I also have met a gal on here where she stopped in my work and said hello. 15 minutes with her daughter in the older daughter in the car waiting. Very very safe. Now I do believe there is attraction their. We are still talking and may go out on a date. We talk on the phone and seem interested in each other. There is no commitment. It could possibly turn into that after some time, at which point I think it would be great to have the hot steamy kinky perverted sex, that would satisfy us for an hour or day…lol…as well as other activities with a person I would be devoted to.
Now this is a generalization. I am sure that lots of couples have gotten together went balls at it so to speak.
I am sure that even after a year or so they are very much in love and working things out just fine
I have had them last longer than that in the past.
More direct to you and your post though is that he seems to have lost interest.
Ok…I have worked…I have worked 20 hrs a day on a fishing boat
I still had time to right letters home.
True attraction is hard to stifle with other distractions
Please don’t think I am telling you what to do
Just trying to give you something to ponder. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/16/2007 9:15:22 AM | ohh yes one last thing...
I am still on-line even with this attraction
I may or may not be when I am in a committed relationship
have not given to much thought in that
I guess I would weight that on the sense of community I have here, against any sense of either temptations or insecurities it may cause
Of course in a very healthy relationship neither may be an issue
Take care of yourself | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/17/2007 8:31:10 AM | Meeting right away is good to prevent wasting time in e-mails just to find you dont click in person. Or that the other person should be a fiction writer.
You may find that you are looking at your next best friend even if there are no sparks for romance. But take a chance & meet. Lifes too short for a wait & see attitude. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:15:59 PM | I think the decision about when to meet is based totally on a person's values and their temperment. If I value risk, courage, adventure (which I do!) then it is easy fo rme to decide to meet early. There is no right or wrong set of values. Some people value safety, predictability, quality time, etc. If those things are more important, then it would be their right choice to wait on meeting.
If I want to meet and they don't...it's OK. Just different priorities clashing. That in itself tells me a lot about the other person. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:30:50 PM | | I'd prefer to meet someone right away. Go get some drinks somewhere and talk a bit. I have no desire to bullshit on IM all day. That's pretty much the main reason I haven't met anyone off here. I can maybe have 1 or 2 conversations on AIM before I get bored and no longer give a damn. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:46:12 PM | you have to be very careful these day's there are some crazy one's out here one this dateing site's. use your heart and go with your feeling's but don't alway's believe
what some have to say. like i said JUST BE CAREFUL | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/20/2007 11:26:09 PM | Every time I had had met someone early on, it ended in disaster a couple weeks later, even if the first date goes well, just wait until the second and third date, you keep find out about new things in your date that you probably wouldn't of never known online. If you feel likes its time for a date, even if its the next day, go for it, trust me I think its better than spending a few weeks or even a few months talking to someone online, its like learning how to drive a car, you cant learn to drive just cruising around your neighborhoods, at some point there is nothing more to learn about in doing that, you gotta go to next level.
internet dating is just a new way to meet people but if of course cannot substitutes for dating or getting to know your date. The date could say their just a few pounds over weight or even average and then when you meet them they are whales!
If someone keeps putting off that first meet up, then its apparent he or she wasn't really interested to begin with and maybe was just looking for entertainment and if she calls you pushy for making an effort to make a date, just remember it wasnt going to happen without you making the first move and if she never writes back but ever so rarely and says she busy or has work or even has go to another state to pick up her power cord for her laptop, the same one which she sent your a response at work than really she was never interested to begin with because like others have said, attraction in any way shape or form cannot have barriers. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/21/2007 4:55:25 AM | never had any luck with people who wanna rush to meet me.....allways had much better dates getting to know some one threw email first..then messagers..then phone...then maybe web cam if they have it,,just to prove its really the person im talking to on the phone.i think there are steps you should take so no one gets hurt..and for your own personal safety..
i have run into a few women stalkers that i wish i never did..and lucky i got to know what they were about before i told them my home address..lol...from my experience its best to wait a bit..and if they cant wait then tuff titty.lol..im not going to risk my person safety or my fealings {or theres}just cause some one has to meet me the same day or a few days after i talk to them online..lol..who knows who or what you are talking too.lol
i think its a bad idea overall to meet anyone online right away..but thats just my opinion:) | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/21/2007 10:50:15 AM | Meeting relatively early is the ONLY way to go.
Spending lots of time chatting online, via email or IM or whatever, sounds good at first. Get to know someone before you go out with them, right? Lets you filter out the bad ones?
The problem is that you don't really KNOW someone. Online communication is severely limited- it's only the words on the screen. They say that human communication is 70 or 80 percent non-verbal. Things like tone of voice, body language, and so forth are tremendously important.
To those who say "why meet early, it's scary because they feel like they already have a connection", I'd say this- I don't think that at all. I think that you CAN'T feel any connection until you meet in person.
The "connection" that people feel from strictly online communication is, all to often, a false one in my opinion.
So I'm all for meeting early. I'm not talking about a deep, powerful, meaningful date or romance; I'm talking stopping by your local Starbucks (heaven knows there's enough of them around here) and sipping a cup of coffee while chatting with someone for 20 or 30 minutes.
Then you go from there. | |
|
gcam3
|
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/21/2007 4:37:46 PM | | Providing there's attraction and no red flags right away, I much prefer to meet asap. I guess it depends on what you're doing here but to me the point is to meet people. You won't get to know anyone very well when it's all in cyberspace and even an extended cyber exchange can all fall apart on a first date. Until you meet, you have nothing. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Worst case scenerio is you meet someone you don't like. So what? Live a little. | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/22/2007 1:58:30 AM | | You know I really appreciate all the input and different view points. It is great to hear all your varied stories and ancedotes. I like meeting right away, but I know it is not for all. I hope that you all keep writing and let me know how it goes meeting quickly or meeting slow. Have you met the one? How did you meet them? Good luck to all! | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:09:49 AM | i guess i have a negitive view of it..just bad luck i guess on first meetings..lol..but i ran into a girl who wanted to meet right away...i figured nothing wrong with that..well it turned into a horror story for me..lol....her pic didnt even look close to what she sent me,dont think it was really her..lol i caught her in a few lies right away while at are local denny's..so i figured i would break it off quick...well she kept emailing me that she wanted me to move in with her..and marry her..lol..i emailed back and said are you crazy? i dont even know you hardly..let alone marry..she would never reply to what i wrote and when she did,.it would be i love you and i cant wait till you move in...lol..its a good thing my number is marked private or she would of tracked me down to my house..lol..i had to block her number and most numbers she tried to call from..plum crazy..lol..wouldnt take no for a anser..told her many times to leave me alone please..i allmost i had to call the cops..lol..never thought i would almost have the cops protect me from a online woman..lol..if you meet some one right away..dont let them know were you live!! hehehe and if you call them i hope its from a cell and not your home..lol
my second date...on meeting the next day..was a nightmare too..and another long drawn out story..i guess bad luck on my end..lol..but i did meet my last girlfreind online..it worked out pretty well..we dated for 3 years...somtimes it works out..somtimes it dont..lol | |
|
| what do you think of meeting right away?
Posted: 6/22/2007 7:21:29 AM | | I prefer to meet people immediately after an exchange of maybe one or two messages. I cannot tell if I am truly interested in someone by vague photographs or brief profiles. I much prefer to meet in person and hear and see everything live and in color. 90% of the time, I am not interested in pursuing a second date. This saves me the time of endless chats and emails with someone I would otherwise have no interest in. | |
|
Home
login 
