| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:21:05 AM | | I found out from a mutual friend of my ex and i that my ex kicked his new girlfriend out of his apartment and broke up with her. She was begging him and pleading for him to take her back, saying she'd change, and when they would argue and he would say just drop it, she would..etc. and not discuss it any further....the EXACT same things I would say when i was with him. Granted, this is the same guy who cheated on her 9 times, lied to her, never apologized, verbally abuses her and pulls her hair. and she is the one who is apologizing. This is so reminiscent of my relationship with him, exactly...and they haven't even been dating a year. I always hoped hed would change for his own sake, but all the stories I've heard are the exact opposite and EXACTLY what he used to say and do to me. I know I've changed my behavior and attitude over the past 10 months, and I figured he would do the same. its just sad. Why doesn't this guy ever change? | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:30:08 AM |
She was begging him and pleading for him to take her back .....There's your answer right there.
this is the same guy who cheated on her 9 times, lied to her, never apologized, verbally abuses her and pulls her hair. and she is the one who is apologizing .....He can do these things to her because she allows him to. Until someone breaks this cycle of his (by breaking his heart), he will never change because he simply doesn't want to.
Why this woman would even want this guy is beyond my comprehension. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:31:09 AM | | It's very sad when a woman, or man allows themselves to be treated this way.........you will find peace in your life when you don't give a damn about what he does, if he will change or care to know anything about his new relationships because to know this much suggests you are still involved on some level. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:33:38 AM | | Sounds like he's an idiot and not worth worrying over either way. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:31:39 AM | You can't really ever 'make' someone change - they have to do it for themselves. and if you are successful in doing so, s/he'll only be resentful.
He'll just have to learn for himself...... | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:42:12 AM | | As long as he can find a women to put up with him he probably never will. Just take comfort that you are no longer that woman and forget him. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:42:20 AM |
I found out from a mutual friend of my ex and i that my ex kicked his new girlfriend out of his apartment and broke up with her. She was begging him and pleading for him to take her back
Red flag. Begging is unacceptable.
, saying she'd change, and when they would argue and he would say just drop it, she would..etc. and not discuss it any further....the EXACT same things I would say when i was with him. Granted, this is the same guy who cheated on her 9 times, lied to her, never apologized, verbally abuses her and pulls her hair. and she is the one who is apologizing.
Disrespecting, and abusing someone like that is unacceptable. He just lacks character and a damaging person, but she - the one who stayed through it is the one who really ought to be looking at herself. She's a self made victim by sticking around. He should be in jail.
This is so
reminiscent of my relationship with him, exactly...and they haven't even been dating a year. I always hoped hed would change for his own sake, but all the stories I've heard are the exact opposite and EXACTLY what he used to say and do to me. I know I've changed my behavior and attitude over the past 10 months, and I figured he would do the same. its just sad. Why doesn't this guy ever change?
Because he has no reason to in his mind. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:17:53 AM | Most abusive people never change its part of their personality ,they try to make their SO think their the one with the problem.She needs to open her eyes and see the guy for what he really is.
But until she learns to love herself enough to realize she deserves better theres not much you can do. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:24:28 AM | He doesn't seem to have any problems getting girlfriends willing to put up with his BS, so why would he change?
If you're willing to tolerate someone cheating on you, abusing you (physically, emotionally, verbally, sexually) and so forth, then the problem is with YOU for allowing this to happen.
Set your standads at a higher level and you'll get better results. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:25:23 AM | | It's a question of perspective. Despte such atrocious behaviour, this guy can still obviously not only attract women but ultimately somehow convince them that theyre in the wrong. Given that, from his self-centered ppoint of view, why should he change? My soon-to-be ex-wife had a hard time grasping things which I saw she needed to change about her outlook on life and other people. Nothing I or anybody else said could make her realise the needless stress she put people through. Some things and sadly, people are simply beyond our ability to help. It's a very painful realisation to come to if you truly care about them. Eventually, you have to either choose to let their problems wreck some or all of your life or else leave the relationship out of self-preservation. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:25:46 AM | I don't get it... I mean, why in the first place someone would *want* to stay with:
cheated on her 9 times, lied to her, never apologized, verbally abuses her and pulls her hair
... is totally beyond me. And why you would even care about why this loser of a guy would ever change is beyond me.
He's not going to change exactly because of the fact that there are women out there like you, and his latest girlfriend, that will put up with his behavior and keep coming back. What I find *more* "sad" than him being a total jerk, is the fact that there are women out there that are so lacking in self-esteem that they'll *put up* with being cheated on, lied to, abused, and keep running back to him. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:58:05 AM | OP~.....first off, this is not a "Dating Relationship".....it is a use and abuse relationship.
Secondly, the issue is not why should he change.....the issue is why people are attracted to and tolerate that behavior. People treat you as you train them to do.
The really interesting thing is "Why are you still obsessed with this guy to the point you know the behaviors of the relationship?" | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 7:01:57 AM | If I wrote what I really wanted to say about this poor excuse for a human being it would all be deleted. So instead I'll keep this brief, a leopard doesn't change his spots!
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 7:03:34 AM | Stop thinking about him, it wont work out.
He might meet someone later that don't let him get by with it, and rule them, but now he is use to it. He wont change seeing the type of people he is seeing. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 7:55:19 AM | | he sounds like a complete a$$pick. yet, he seems to attract women with low self esteem that feel the need to be abused. maybe he would change if his bad behaviour wasn't constantly being reinforced by these women. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:03:23 AM | Why would he change when hes got someone under the thumb like that?
And if he is your ex,why are you worrying? sounds like a tosser to me. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:11:39 AM | OP: You are obsessed with this guy.
In your other threads you admitted you're the one he was was bangin' those 9 times he cheated on his GF.
Last time you posted about him it was all about how you got drunk & hooked up with him & he hit you because you told his GF.
Next it was how she was writing nasty things about you on My Space.
You're a psycho.
The worst part of this stupid mini drama b.s. is that you want him back in your life, even though you're just a booty call 'ho to the guy.
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:14:04 AM | Well lets see, The guy keep finding women that think it's ok for him to cheat and he makes them apologize to him. Which is the same thing you used to do. As long as he keeps finding these stupid women, why would he need to change. The women that he dates thinks his behavior is acceptable so why change.
People only make huge changes in their lives when they are forced to look at themselves in the mirror. A man that keeps getting validation from insecure and gullable women might go a lifetime without ever having to look at himself.
If you women want him to change, then you have to stop accepting his BS. | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:35:52 AM | People either stay naive about themselves and the role they play and always think it's the other person who's at fault, or when they realize that they have a problem (they have a realization that things haven't been working out for them and they finally see their part in it), some are then willing to do the work and change their behaviors (which takes time and real effort), others aren't (because it's easier to do nothing).
All that said, it's great that you examined yourself and where you could improve coming out of that relationship and have made some changes in your attitudes and behaviors. Now here's another step. Stop thinking about him and wondering why he can't change. He's not your problem. Be happy you changed. | |
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:30:33 AM | He does what he wants and the response is begging for more...hmm...not much incentive to change is there ?
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:35:15 AM | Why do you care ? And why do you continue to be so interested in your EX's behavior ? You say you've changed your's. Maybe not. Just some food for thought.  | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:47:17 AM | More of the "I'm caught up with the EX and yada, yada, yada.
EX = Has Been = Former = Gone = Over = Past Tense --- for a reason . . .
He doesn't change - because change won't buy him anything - he already has it - it keeps coming back like a boomerang.
I am alway amazed at the numbers of women who keep going back to the guy who treats them badly. There is something really sick about that.
You know what I found out about my EX from a former friend? Nothing, 'cause I didn't ask.
Joe | |
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| Why doesn't he change?
Posted: 6/13/2007 10:01:28 AM |
Why doesn't this guy ever change?
Why should he change? Women like you and the other one keep falling in love with him. His bad-a*s attitude is working for him. The women are the ones who need to change. | |
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