| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:19:56 AM | I'm sure most of you are familiar with "trophy wives." This phenomena happens when middle-aged men reach a certain level of success in life and are (usually recently) divorced... perhaps due to sacrificing marital harmony for said success. They then take a wife that reflects their status. This second wife tends to be significantly younger, less educated and stacked like a brick sh!thouse (maybe the bartender at the local Boston Pizza). They become stay-at-home moms and busy themselves with working out, community activism or social events (not careers).
Questions: Is this so different of how marriages to powerful men have manifested through the centuries? Is it the first wife that is the anomoly in this arrangement? Should beautiful women be allowed to escape poverty on looks alone? Is this merely confirmation that, for many women, fairy tales can come true? Is this prostitution legitimized by a wedding ring? Are these girls being duped into becoming some rich guy's breeding machine?
Your thoughts. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:40:04 AM | This thread is just stupid. Um, maybe those guys are simply marrying women that they find attractive and like to have sex with. Is there something wrong with that? Maybe you think they should marry women who they aren't attracted to? The term 'trophy wife' assumes the man is marrying her for the purpose of having her as an aquisition to be displayed. I don't know any guy who would do that and then be stuck with. Do you? I don't know any men who use the term trophy wife. Women tend to use it to denigrate a younger prettier woman who marries a middle aged guy who isn't 'politically correctly' remarrying a middle aged woman.
There's nothing new with rich, powerful men marrying younger, beautiful women. Women have throughout the ages been attracted to successful, powerful men, age not being all that important. I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.
The women who date and marry rich guys aren't being duped into anything, they know very well what they are doing. I can't believe you're so naive. It's more likely the reverse; rich guys are duped into marrying young beautiful women who often are looking for half the assests down the road. And they get involved in whatever interests they want because they don't have to work anymore. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:54:01 AM | "Um, maybe those guys are simply marrying women that they find attractive and like to have sex with."
True, but that set of criteria will work for picking out a hooker as well. One would think choosing a wife would also encompass her character, whether she intellectually stimulates you, if you share values, etc.
"The term 'trophy wife' assumes the man is marrying her for the purpose of having her as an aquisition to be displayed."
If beauty and sex appeal are the primary factors in choosing these woman, how else would you describe it?
"I can't believe you're so naive."
I guess you need to get out more. Open your drapes... the world holds many wonders.
"rich guys are duped into marrying young beautiful women who often are looking for half the assests down the road"
So... the one in the relationship who holds the financial power, the life experience and who has everything in his name is actually the victim. We should make a pamphlet or something to warn these guys! | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 3:09:08 AM | "Should beautiful women be allowed to escape poverty on looks alone?"
Curious the way you phrased that.
If, in fact, it's morally repugnant for someone to achieve success based solely on looks than we'd best ban modelling and PlayBoy as well.
As for being prostitution......again, curious way to look at things. Many marriages are based on convenience; some marry for security, others for companionship (without romantic love), some for religious purposes and others for the sole purpose of having children.
The notion of 'romantic love' being the basis for marriage is a very recent concept, if you look at history. Most marriages through the ages were created for the reasons stated above.
I personally think a woman should strive to be more than a breeding machine and a part of the home decor, if only because those choices are AVAILABLE to her nowadays. Centuries ago, many women didn't have the luxury of such choice.
Are pretty women 'duped' in marrying rich men?
Probably more than a few of them are pretty sharp cookies who see an opportunity and decide to take it.
And some may actually love the guy.
To me, it sounds like a mutually usary situation that benefits both, albeit in what may seem to be shallow ways. But it's not exclusive to rich guys with younger second wives. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 3:29:06 AM | > We should make a pamphlet or something to warn these guys!
Already warned. It's not as if marriage being an adhesion contract on men is a big secret. At least not the sort of men we're likely talking about here.
Where the fact likely needs to be publicized more is among the younger cadre. Perhaps marriage contracts should carry some fine print to the effect that marriage confers no substantive rights on the man, only obligations. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 3:48:42 AM | Trophy wives and husbands and destined for doom regardless because at the end of the day they are not truly happy with each other, only by the way that they look.
And those looks wont last forever because gravity like to take over and wrinkles appear and also with age comes 'the curse of the sag'
No-one can look perfect forever | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 4:01:21 AM | | ^^^^ That's why you're supposed to trade them in for a new one before their value drops too low. It also keeps the alimony lower. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 4:10:39 AM | Buy a flashy 2-seater sports care. Toupee or comb-over your blad spot, pretend you have no aches/pains when you play a new sport and etc. A "trophy" wife is, IMO, simply another accessory a guy purchases (yes - purchases ... think those beautiful young women are hanging off him because of his daddy-type looks and personality - it takes the car, many gifts, big house, promises of living the financial easy life, etc.) to try and prove to himself and others that age hasn't caught up with him.
Physical attraction is usually what brings 2 ppl. together - but relationships cannot last unless there is more substance than what's on the outside. Let the stress hormones begin to flow through their viens along with both of their potential use of alcohol to deal with their new lives. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:01:57 AM | Yes, there's nothing like the full blown 'midlife crisis' caricature... It was inevitable that it would show up around here eventually.
So why is it that when a women excercises her beauty power at 25 and $50K is blown on a cool party we call it a wedding, but when a man excercises his success power at 45 and blows $50K on a cool car we call it a crisis? Could it be because subconciously we tend to take the woman's side?
> ...to try and prove to himself and others that age hasn't caught up with him.
Actually, it's something quite different. It's the young bucks who are always displaying bravado and seem to be trying to prove something, to appear bigger than they really are.
In the standard pop-feminist stereotype, the man divorces his wife of twenty years and takes up with a young babe. From his point of view he's undergoing an internal change due to the realization that for much of his life he has been "in the harness" and more devoted to fulfilling other's needs than his own, having largely postponed living his life during this time. He's now probably in a better position to have the things in life he wanted when he was young but didn't have the success power to have. This causes a reassessment of his life's course -- called "growth" when done by a woman at this age -- where he sorts out his values, considers his strengths and weaknesses, and makes changes in his life because he wants them.
But in real life the first part of the stereotype is hardly ever true, and very few men can afford to dump the wife (all that alimony and child support) and take up with their sexy secretaries. Probably at least 70% of divorces are filed by women, not the other way around. The man's crisis starts *after* the divorce, not before, because so many men are blindsided by it. There is data to support this, as the vastly high rates of suicide by men post-divorce attests to, a fact which tends to get buried by the cliche. | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:03:17 AM | Oh yeah, i forgot..... silly me. Of course, we never go into relationships because we have a mental connection and that we can share our darkest and deepest secrets and treat them moreso as a best friend rather than someone who looks good on our arm
Arent i just dumb | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:07:44 AM | question what do you do when the trophy wife gains 60 pounds spits out a few kids
and develops hair in weird placed
do you put this trophy on the shelf and continue to get more trophys
It could be true love and not a trophy wife
lots of young women love intelligent older guys with a great sense of humour
they might look like trophys but usually they are the ones in charge | |
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| Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:13:21 AM | It seems that some people like the idea of trading in the old trophy wife once things have started headed south, whereas myself, i think that whole concept is sad and pathetic
True love comes from what is in the heart, not by how you look walking down the street with a top totty hanging off your arm | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:16:30 AM | Trophy Wife?
I had one for about 10 years, wouldn't mind another - it was GREAT!
She was quite beautiful, very industrious - owned her own business that I helped her to understand she could do, she was very kind, thoughtful and a whole lot more. Her best compliment after the breakup was 'In our time together Joe gave me the equivalent of a college education". I'll take that as a jim dandy fine thing to say . . .
And I taught her how to cook too - so that we could practice 'turn about is fair play in the kitchen.
We didn't last but 10 years - trophy wife or not - this length of time is not unusual for marriages and long term relationships - breakups happen trophy wives or not.
Joe
I forgot to add - we were best of friends for much of the relationship, we traveled extensively and the experience was the best relationship in my life. That was many years ago and I now seek another fine women ... doesn't have to be a trophy wife - but I find that a good woman is a prize to seek. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:27:05 AM | So a woman can't be a thropy wife unless she is much younger than the man?
wow...
and also she is poor.....
or maybe comes from a third world country...
wow... and powerful, rich men have throphy wives...
wow...
learn something new every day on these forums !
(mostly how ignorant people can be) | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:39:55 AM | I would be happy with a 2nd or 3rd place trophy wife | |
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neil89
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Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:55:53 AM | | In the grand scheme of things the only thing that matters is if a baby is born by any relationship between a man and woman. If an old man takes on a young fertile woman and a baby is born then evolution is successful and whatever made them get together or attracted them was successful and those traits, personalities, etc. were passed on to the offspring | |
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LilyT
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Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:01:31 AM | | You know...I'd like to think that when we pick a partner to marry or even date that we do so because of their assests. And before you jump on me...humor, kindness, empathy, understanding, honesty..... those are all assets/attributes. Also included are beauty and stability whether mental/emotional or financial. So the only person that can determine what is acceptable is the person making the choices for themselves. There is no right or wrong...it's all just subjective. No one is escaping, gaining or getting duped..simply make decisions for themselves in their lives that make them happy. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO NOSEY about someone else's lifestyle and choices?....live and let live. Get over it..the only reason anyone is looking at someone else's life is because theirs is obviously not full in itself. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:09:54 AM | I am of the "live and let live" mentality. If there are wealthy men out there who would marry someone based on looks and sexuality alone, then there will always be a market for it. You can't blame women for being that type of wife when there are men out there looking for one.
The situation seems to be a win-win as far as I am concerned; neither party is hurting anyone or affecting my life any. As well, the first wife that rids herself of a man that wants someone 20 years younger and has a Stepford like way of dealing with him, benefits too (probably with a nice divorce settlement).
I have no judgements, good for all of 'em. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:17:34 AM | I am sorry each time I hear the words "Trophy wives" I keep thinking "woman that wears a ridiculous amount of gold lame bodysuits" or "Woman that sticks her head in a hole in the wall while wearing antlers".
It's just the mental image I get. The terminology is ridiculous at best. When you get married you tend to think that you "Got a good catch" anyways, and that you hid paydirt. So what's the difference?
Or better yet, is there such a thing as a "Trophy Husband"? There should be. I mean you know, in this day and age a woman that makes more money than her male counterpart, and that she wants is that her partner makes sure the house is clean, that the fridge is full and that he take care of the loose ends that her career cannot allow? Come on that would rock!!
Can I be someone's trophy husband? I'll wear deer antlers...
Kajiwotore | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:22:05 AM | Where do I sign up? | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:26:23 AM | msg 19 .. of course there is such a thing as a throphy husband. I think maybe I have one ?
He is very good to me, handsome, thoughtful, intelligent, high income and has a good dental plan.
Only I dont think he is a throphy as he would object to being mounted on the wall. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:29:26 AM |
Questions: Is this so different of how marriages to powerful men have manifested through the centuries? Is it the first wife that is the anomoly in this arrangement? Should beautiful women be allowed to escape poverty on looks alone? Is this merely confirmation that, for many women, fairy tales can come true? Is this prostitution legitimized by a wedding ring? Are these girls being duped into becoming some rich guy's breeding machine?
I think it's more a Hollywood/TV myth than reality. I've known older divorced men who married younger, beautiful women, of course. Those women weren't "escaping poverty." They're businesswomen, doctors, journalists, teachers (which is very lucrative here - I know it's different in the States), etc., who met their husbands through their careers like a lot of people do. Bet a lot of people make assumptions when they see that type of couple walking down the street when they BOTH might be brain surgeons. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:30:59 AM | | As a famous Judge on TV says...looks fade...dumb is forever..unless she has something else up there..she'll be just as doomed when her looks start to go..its a never ending circle for the guy and he'll just dump her and get a younger one...karma baby | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 11:02:20 AM | An excellent thread with some very insightful responses. nightlfly, shoree, uglybetty, excellent posts and life_of_leisure, excellent opening post. You "guys" seem to cover it all.
JDMETRO, excellent testimonial to a good relationship with a decent ending.
neil89, good insight.
Lilyt
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO NOSEY about someone else's lifestyle and choices?
Because they have way too much leisure time on their hands, and nothing productive to do with it.
Overall, and enjoyable thread to read. Thanks to you all. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/15/2007 11:26:27 AM | Who cares! I mean how dose effect you or even the society who a wealthy man chooses to date, marry or sleep with. Women, can make thier own choices with no help from you or anyone else. So, whats your point in all this?
Are they being duped? Are you kidding? Are you suggesting that they are tricked into placing themseleves in a mutually beneficial situation. Who are we to judge his or her decision?
When I have millions in the bank and can travel the world. I want to do that with someone I can share that with. If she happens to be beautiful and young and still spiritualy fulfills me then fantastic. But the key for me is fulfillment. Its none of my business how anyone else chooses to live thier lives. | |
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