| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:38:14 PM | I have been wondering something. i posted a thread ages ago about a female that i met who made out with me in public and all the women were saying she was really young, she had to be, nobody in their late 20s and beyond would ever do that.
I was thinking how sad that was and wondered why? when does being sophisicated and caring so much what others think become more important than showing your passion.??
You can see my age in my profile and i love PDA, very much so. Are there any women my age who don't hate it or think of it as some immature thing?
I can't stand to be with someone unless they are proud to be with me and are not embarassed to be seen being affectionate. Part of me wonders, what are they worried about. Everyone i've been with who doesn't like PDA has ended up being unfaithful. So my paranoid side thinks, "she doesn't want potential partners to think she's taken"
Would love some views on this, thanks. I really hope this doesn't get locked or something stupid, it's very important to me to know. If it's in the wrong forum could it be moved please. thanks. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:53:58 PM | Not everyone who dislikes public displays of affection does so because they're embarrassed by what others might think or wanting to keep their options open.
Some care that others find PDAs extremely offensive and would rather not be offending people. Some are extremely private people. Some are shy.
Personally, I think what makes a relationship special is that it's just between me and him. I don't need or want everyone and their dog in on it. I'm way past flaunting it to impress people. That kind of behavior seems like the kind of thing teenagers engage in.
Maybe a better question to ask yourself is: why do you like it so much? | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:59:48 PM | I believe i answered that question. Everyone i've been with who doesn't like it ended up cheating on me, leading me to think it's a "keeping options open" thing. when i'm with my g/f i don't want people to think i'm with my sister.
You don't want to show you are with me. Then i see a serious problem there. What's so wrong if teenagers do it anyhow? And if it's about offending other people, than that just goes to prove my point that the woman cares more about what other people think than she does about me.
If i'm with someone, i want the whole world to know how happy i am. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:35:05 PM |
Everyone i've been with who doesn't like it ended up cheating on me, leading me to think it's a "keeping options open" thing.
That sounds like you need to announce to the world that she's yours out of some kind of insecurity. You can't judge the motivations of all by the actions of a few.
You don't want to show you are with me. Then i see a serious problem there.
What are women doing? Making you walk ten paces behind? Denying they know you? If that's the case, then yes, I'd agree there's a problem. On the other hand, if they're okay letting people know you're together, just not wanting to snog you in public, that's a difference of opinion on where to set the boundaries and points to a basic incompatibility you may not be able to overcome.
What's so wrong if teenagers do it anyhow?
Teenagers do it because they don't know any better yet. They're still in that stage of life where they think they're the center of the universe. Relationships are novelties, and they need to let everyone know they're in one. Ten years earlier they would have been just as proudly showing off their dolly to everyone. Learning to live within societies guidelines is part of growing up.
And if it's about offending other people, than that just goes to prove my point that the woman cares more about what other people think than she does about me.
There's a difference between people caring too much about what other people think and not wanting to make a spectacle of yourself. Would you have sex on a table in a crowded public restaurant? If not, why? It's an expression of your love. Why not share it with the world?
If i'm with someone, i want the whole world to know how happy i am.
There's nothing wrong with that, unless it's making your partner and everyone around you uncomfortable. There's a time and a place for things. Mature individuals don't selfishly indulge their own wants at the expense of everyone else. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:35:15 PM | I don't mind hugging, holding hands - stuff like that - in public.
As for all out make out sessions and more, well, I think that's something one should do in private. It's a private thing between two people, as far as I'm concerned. Why the need to show off to the world?
When I was younger and carefree I didn't mind so much, but now I'm a mom. All I can think is "what if my kid saw this and I had to explain it to him????" I don't want to put someone else through that. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:46:20 PM | It's nothing to do with being insecure. It' s because i love it. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist i guess and not willing to conform for anybody. Why are people in such a hurry to be old anyhow?
Maybe i should move to a country where passion isn't so taboo and people don't become puritans when they finish college lol
seriously though, thanks for the input so far. i still dont' understand the aversion, but maybe i never will. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:54:46 PM | It might have something to do with your definition of "make-out". That's how you phrased it in the original post, and to me that means swallowing each others faces and groping one another which I would never do in public, and would be embarrassed to observe in others. "Get a room" pops into mind.
On the other hand, when strolling together I love it when my DB holds my hand, and when meeting up, parting ways, or sharing an exciting moment together even in front of others, I enjoy being kissed (no tonsil hockey please, just a kiss).
I would feel a bit like a dirty little secret if my DB wouldn't even kiss me in front of anyone, and that is hard on the ego, but as a previous poster stated, some people are just really private people, and they are uncomfortable drawing attention to themselves. Perhaps you are drawn to shy women, and this resistance would be natural for a shy person.
If you want someone bolder, perhaps you should look for bolder women. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:46:10 PM |
It might have something to do with your definition of "make-out". That's how you phrased it in the original post, and to me that means swallowing each others faces and groping one another which I would never do in public, and would be embarrassed to observe in others. "Get a room" pops into mind.
On the other hand, when strolling together I love it when my DB holds my hand, and when meeting up, parting ways, or sharing an exciting moment together even in front of others, I enjoy being kissed (no tonsil hockey please, just a kiss).
I would feel a bit like a dirty little secret if my DB wouldn't even kiss me in front of anyone, and that is hard on the ego, but as a previous poster stated, some people are just really private people, and they are uncomfortable drawing attention to themselves. Perhaps you are drawn to shy women, and this resistance would be natural for a shy person.
If you want someone bolder, perhaps you should look for bolder women.
Exactly, you hit it dead on. I feel like a dirty secret and yes what you say is all i am talking about. not deep throat tonsul hockey. lol
Maybe i should look for someone bolder. just want to avoid someone bossy. lol | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:49:46 PM | It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with attitude.
I have no problem with PDA..... from holding hands to kissing a passionate hello. I do, however, draw the line at heated makeout sessions in public.
btw : I had the same attitude at 20 as I do now. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 4:30:18 PM | | Hey, only a woman who is very secured of herself should not have a problem with public displays of affection. Why not kiss in front of others? Now, you must know where and when show you affection. If you are having dinner holding hands and kisses I believe are appropriate. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:43:52 PM | Holding hands, hugging and the occasional kiss are fine. Doing anything that causes even construction workers to ride past and yell, "Get a room!" is not.
When I was a lot younger, I wanted to make out in public and hang all over guys (including that thing where you have to sit thisclose to him in his vehicle). Now I'm all about subtlety. Whispering in my ear is much sexier than slobbering all over me in the middle of Taco Bell. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:52:35 PM | Yup. Holding hands, sitting a little close and a little kiss on the lips is perfectly fine.
No contact in public at all does NOT say that you too are a couple.
I am open to both, but if the make-out goes on for too long, I'll take it somewhere private. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 6:11:41 PM | | Its all about how you do it. There are classy , fun ways to participate in PDA's.I like it when a man isnt afraid to show that he cares about me in public but Im soo not into doing anything like was done in high school by the lockers. I think most would agree that anything that looks like a couple is about to take it farther then first base well its time to go some where private. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:15:19 PM | Muggin down. Hands on breasts and butts. Checkin out each others tonsils. And that's just waiting in line at Starbucks.
Yes, there is such thing as too much PDA, but I really like holding hands. I prefer to sit next to the lady when out to eat rather than somewhere I can't touch her. I am a very "touchy-feeley" guy, but not to the point where everyone around you is embarrassed. I know how it feels to be standing behind that 18 year old couple in line at Starbucks. You almost want to step in and say "OK! Break it up! Get to your corners!" | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 5:44:26 AM | I love pda, and I'm almost 40. Mind you, I don't plan on totally 'get a room' type of making out, that's just kind of indecent, but touching, holding hands, a gentle quick kiss, absolutely!! I am affectionate, what the hell does age have to do with it. Gawd, I hope I never out grow that!  | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 12:28:26 PM | I loved PDA holding hands wandering around, stealing kisses for no reason. Holding hands on a long drive. Just being in contact gives you such a connection.
Call my silly, I don't care. I like it.
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:30:39 PM |
You can see my age in my profile and i love PDA, very much so. Are there any women my age who don't hate it or think of it as some immature thing?
Ha...really??? Immature? OK. Personally ~ I'm a PDA person. I don't do the "get a room" stuff (well, not too often anyway... ) but I have no issue with those who do. If I don't want to see it, I don't have to look. Likewise, if there is a man in my life ~ he's obviously someone I want to be affectionate with ~ if someone doesn't like that, they don't have to look. JMO  | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:36:42 PM | | Hey, I'm all for PDA. I love it. Holding hands, arm in arm, hugging, kissing, touching, even that! I have been naughty in the outdoors a few times....mmmm! | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:53:33 PM | Well, I'm a fan of PDA, when in a relationship...and have been guilty of the "get a room" type of affectionate displays a time or two with my ex SO. We just got caught up in each other. Whats wrong with "fanning the flames" ?! That was a few years ago. I'm 42 but my view on it has not changed.
To each his own. You just need to find someone who shares your view on PDA...they're out there! | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 6:17:57 PM | PDAs are fine. I use my Dell Axim every day. In fact, it integrates with my phone so I can back stuff up to it. And it is also a handheld computer with wireless built in so if I need to I can check my mail from a hotspot.
Oh, that's not the kind of PDA you meant..... | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:08:04 PM |
PDAs are fine. I use my Dell Axim every day. In fact, it integrates with my phone so I can back stuff up to it. And it is also a handheld computer with wireless built in so if I need to I can check my mail from a hotspot.
Oh, that's not the kind of PDA you meant.....
My vote for best post in the thread. I'm surprised it took so many replies before someone actually did it.  | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:22:42 AM | I use my Dell Axim...
In one of my previous profiles, I said I like PDAs and mentioned that I wasn't talking about the electronic kind. Only a computer geek I guess... (talking 'bout myself here that it would even occur to me there are two different kinds).
I love PDAs. I'm not a touchy feely person with anyone but my gf. I don't usually make out in public (unless it's out of the way, a bit private, or can be hidden), but I like the casual touches. Light touch on the back or back of the neck, maybe a hand through the hair, holding hands, touch on the leg or arm, maybe a bit of a one-handed neck rub if we're sitting beside each other. I don't have to be touching all the time, but I do really enjoy it. It's a non-verbal way of saying, "I'm thinking of you and enjoying you being here".
Also, done right, there are some pretty innocent looking caresses that can both reinforce that feeling of togetherness and stoke the fires for later when you can get into private. | |
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:48:26 AM | I love holding hands and giving little kisses in public. I haven't had a man hold my hand since I was 18! I'd love nothing more than to be walking along side my sweetheart and show the world I'm with him!
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| Over 30 no more PDA?? Why?
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:50:52 PM | I'm always surprised when I meet someone who doesn't like it. You almost have to ask yourself, "what's wrong with them?". Thankfully, it's been my experience that most do like public displays of affection.
I'm not sure I like it all the time. I've been in line at the grocery store when my s/o would start hugging me and kiss me as if, "Oh, you're buying us groceries. You're so wonderful!". That's just a little too weird. | |
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