| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:15:46 PM | | Im curious....why is it if a woman states in her profile she is seeking a man who is financially secure, she is considered materialistic or a gold-digger yet its ok for a man to state he wants a woman who is finacially secure? Am I the only one who thinks there is a double standard there? I have notice quite a few men say that these days. | |
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MX981
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Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 2 | |
| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:31:58 PM | I'm not aware of men actively seeking financially secure women although
I know tonnes of divorced women bragging about how financially secure
they are....yeah, enjoying the spoils of a divorce does not make one
"independent." Although there are a few women out there that earned it
and deserved it, I am still suspicious when I see: Divorced/Independent. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:36:44 PM | Well, its a flag for me if its the first thing that is said or if it is mentioned more than once. Although i am almost debt free, i just dont like to read about a ladies interest in someone else being financially secure. Gives me perceptions that money/assets are of great importance to the person. I am far from materialistic.
That is why i will say have " there shit/or affairs in order" LOL, instead of financially secure.
My two cents. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:49:12 PM | I could go on and on about all the other 'double standards' that are sorely missing from your question.....but I'll just throw this one out at ya first....
Which of the two would be considered 'acceptable'???
The MALE doctor with the stay at home wife???
or
The FEMALE doctor with the stay at home husband??
Because I got news for ya.... No man is or would be allowed to do what women have done up till about forty years ago. Even if his 'domestic skills' were as up to par as any woman out there, he will NEVER be granted the same right to simply stay at home, take care of the house and have HIS contribution considered fair and equitable, commanding of respect for doing so. He will be seen as the unmotivated and lazy bum who is just mooching off the 'financially stable' woman. No man is ever allowed to be unemployed. or allowed to 'go back to school', and have the woman take up the slack without it having serious repercussions in regards to the respect he might be entitled from a woman, as men still are required to give women in similar positions, even after the battle of the sexes was supposedly won. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 7 | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:13:40 PM |
OP *** finacially secure? ***
Men mean women NOT in debt up to their eyeballs.
Women mean a man who can support them. Having a job.
I don't need a man who can support me. If I was looking for a relationship right now, I would need the man to have a legal source of enough income (not necessarily a job) to support himself, just like I have, so I don't have to support him in addition to myself. Anything more than that would be a bonus, not a requirement. No double standards here, but they definitely exist for many other people. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:22:32 PM | I prefer financially responsible.
Pay your bills on time, not live off of multiple credits cards that you make the minimum payments on, etc. Live within your means.
There is no shame in not making 100k/year. Just don't try to live the life of someone who does.
Oh, and to be more OT - I would think pretty much everyone wants someone who pulls their own weight. It's just apparently not PC to say it :) | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:23:39 PM | I've never heard of a man looking for a woman that's financially secure...nor have I heard of a woman being called a "gold-digger" for wanting a financially secure man. Gold-diggers want a RICH man.
SO yea, you're probably the only person seeing a double standard there, b/c I don't think it's an issue at all. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:25:15 PM | it would depend on what the woman means by financially secure
I have two friends who have two different takes on this that are relevant
first one thinks that being financially secure means that you take care of your bills and not be a burden on a partner. simple as that. she doesn't care if a man would make ten bucks an hour or a hundred. as long as he takes care of responsibilities then he's good in her books
second friend thinks that being financially secure means having a good career and is making a sizeable amount of money (we're talking 60 grand plus here) and to be quite honest I don't see a need for it. but if that's what she wants then she is entitled to seek out a man who has a large bulge in his back pocket.
I think that the second kind of friend does give a bad reputation overall to the women who are more similar to my first friend, as the second one would be in my opinion gold digging and judging how well a man would treat her based on what he earns | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:29:17 PM | ***I don't need a man who can support me. If I was looking for a relationship right now, I would need the man to have a legal source of enough income (not necessarily a job) to support himself, just like I have, so I don't have to support him in addition to myself. Anything more than that would be a bonus, not a requirement. No double standards here, but they definitely exist for many other people.***
interesting line of thinking.
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:32:29 PM | | Its all relative. But for the most part I don't mind If a woman as for me to be financially secure. I would ask the same of anyone I'm interested in. I don't have time for hanger ons and I'm sure that a woman that requires her man to be financially secure doesn't have time for that either. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:33:35 PM | | It's the same standard. If she is looking for him to be financially secure, it's because she wants his money. If she is not financially secure, she will want his money. When men look at women they see a kind of soft, nice smelling sex machine that likes to shop. This is not because men are unaware of all the other things that women are, it is just how evolution has shaped perception to highlight what is most dangerous. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:54:35 AM | I doubt many men on here who are looking for a financially secure woman really care about being "kept". The issue is that many guys have supported women and have been takento the cleaners by said woman. A woman who is finacially secure will be able to take care of herself before you start dating and liekly afterward.
Id on't think many guys here also think that their good looks and genitals are qualifications for being spoiled where I whole heartedly believe that many women would agree with this.
I'd be generalizing if I said it was just women. But I'm a guy and this is ask a guy. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/20/2007 11:56:34 AM | Hi,
Yes, I'm a woman, but I'll respond anyway. I think that some people of either sex put that on their profile to make things clear from the get-go. I don't think it's a male or female thing.... women are independent these days, and aren't looking to support a man, and I'm sure that certain men feel the same way about women. I don't think it's a good or bad thing (although it does depend on the phrasing of the statement, of course).... Ithink the person wants to make things clear: I don't want to support yer a$$, and I don't you expect to support mine. It's that simple. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:36:36 PM | I don't know why anyone would want anyone who cares so much about money. I guess it is for those who are not making it. It is really not that hard to make it.
How romantic is this: I fell in love with you because of your house, I fell in love with you because you sacraficed and financially invested rather than indulging and now I want to enjoy it although I would never want you when you were poor and sacraficing, I would never want you while your business was unstable but hey now that you have finally made it lets get together.
I think all those who want "financially security" should get busy and get some or if they can't learn to say the Serenity Prayer. | |
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| Double Standard on Financial Matters in Relationships.
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:57:51 PM | financially responsible; we have all seen what happens when you get wrapped up in someone before finding out their situation, next thing u know ur lending/buying or paying for their lifestyle and mistakes.
they leave and ur left holding the bag-
people just want to make things clear; an money is a big thing in relationships, number one reason for divorce | |
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