| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/20/2007 9:07:04 PM | | I have dated a guy 5 or 6 times and genuinely like him but do not feel any sexual chemistry. I would not mind continuing to see him as we have alot of fun together, but I know he is looking for more. I would never want to lead him on so should I just tell him or let him figure it out on his own. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/20/2007 9:12:06 PM | guess what.. you're gonna have to tell him . Better now then after hes tried to go foward with you several times and it leads to a hugh fight.
jmo | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/20/2007 9:14:15 PM | 5 or 6 dates and no sex your lucky he wants to talk to you (LOL) just kidding..........
I know for me honesty is preferred but not everyone responds well to honesty if you are able to let him down gently and remain friends then you have found a pretty decent guy but in all honesty if he is looking for a commitment of any kind you should cut him loose immediately so he is able to keep trying to find someone who wants a commitment with him and not feel he has a chance with you when he doesn't. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 5 | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/20/2007 10:45:26 PM | Us men only figure this out, AFTER we have slept with you, or AFTER we have slept with all of your friends. Take your pick. Either say "I don't fancy you, but I want to have sex, to get it out of the way", or "I don't fancy you, but my really hot friend does, would you like to go on a date with her? Oh, and could we still be friends, 'cause we do have a lot of fun?"
Anything else and you are asking for trouble. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/20/2007 11:36:01 PM | Maybe you don't feel the chemistry because you haven't had the sex yet??? Maybe it is one of those slow burning flames that burns into an inferno??? Never can tell, but if you aren't even attracted to him, then there is no hope and you might as well tell him before he gets Blue Balls and becomes very touchy...
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:25:23 AM | | Don't Waste his time.Tell Him your not sexually attracted to him and stop seeing him,or decide to date him casually and tell him about all the other guys you are dating,Hey If you give this guy a chance you might really like it. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 6/21/2007 8:13:02 AM | Better to be up front and honest. Comes down to just being decent and respectful about things, and others. I would want the truth, why avoid it? This way there can be no misunderstanding.
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 10:03:06 AM | Tomboy,
I recently was on the other end with a woman I met on E-harmony (yep, it's a disappointment). She did what you should do---tell him up front and honestly. Although it won't work out the way he wants, he may actually stay on as a friend (best to keep your distance at first); in which case you'll have gained a good friend. If he doesn't, you'll know that you've done all you could. You don't want to lead him on, and that's good---it shows honesty. Just be yourself here.
Best 2 U!~Nicebluiz | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 17 | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:12:35 AM | Exactly. By doing what you are talking about you are entering the player arena.
When guys play, sex is the goal. But you like companionship(your goal) and he has hinted at more. You need to cut ties with this guy. he likely won't want to be your friend anymore( oh _insert name____ I'm so happy to see you met someone who takes you out and you actually want to have sex with him). but you'll know you did the right thing. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:42:10 AM | | I know it's tough when an emotional connection is enough for you, but not the other person. Glad I don't have that decision to make. Been there and told them, but it ended our relationship. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:50:22 AM | | Honesty is not best policy if it's something they cannot change about themselves. But telling someone the "chemistry" is not there is usually accepted. Although lack of chemistry is often another way of saying I don't find you physically appealing. It is also personality related. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 4:44:47 PM | There are threads posted about this almost constantly here but it's women complaining men aren't honest or willing to tell when they're not into someone. From reading those one has to assume most people far perfer being told something rather than being avoided, blown off or ignored. You say you like this guy so if that's true wouldn't you want to show him the respect and consideration that entails? If you were in the reverse position what would YOUR preference be?
By continuing to date him is leading him on because you've given him nothing but positive feedback so far. Most people would assume your continued acceptance of dates is some indication there is more there than just "fun". Give this guy a break and tell him he's in the "just friends" zone and he'll know what to do from there. Being pals or buddies might not be his desire so be prepared for that. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 4:53:32 PM | Tell him how you feel. Dont leave him guessing.
Can't believe you actualy have to ask this question... put yourself in his shoes. | |
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| would you prefer avoidance or the truth
Posted: 7/22/2007 5:02:47 PM | | Tell him the truth. Sexual chemistry cannot be forced. It`s either there or it isn`t. Guys that you don`t feel chemistry for are called `friends` we all have lots of those. Set him free so that he can find someone else and not waste time for both of you. | |
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