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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all t      Home login  
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 lumbee3
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 1
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have this guy friend that I thought was interested and all and somewhat still do but he talks about his ex all the time in almost every conversation and it kinda frustrates me and I really want to say "just shut up about that chick" but I don't say anything because I don't know if I should. What do I do in this situation? Do I continue to talk to him and listen about her or do I move on and keep fishin?
 logicalnonsense
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 2
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:35:43 PM
How long have you been friends? Is he is a "new" friend? He's not over his last relationship...not a good sign. You could try talking to him if you really like him, but I would probably move on. If he asks what happened then you can tell him you were uncomfortable with all his ex chatter. JMO
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 3
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:38:45 PM
My last bf was like this, he had zero experience with women, except for one lady, his ex. He dated her for four years, they had been broken up ten when I met him.

When he talked about women in general, her name always came up because she neglected to tell him that all women are not the same. What she liked is not what all women like and I was nothing like her.

Talk to him, don't assume anything. Ask him why he is always bringing her name up and explain how it makes you feel. If he cares about you, he'll stop the comparisions.
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 4
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:39:00 PM
They say when a person talks about an ex all the time, they aren't over them yet.
Also, if he is talking bad about her, he is bitter and isn't over that yet either.
Either way, he isn't ready to give you what you need emotionally.

One time, I talked to a person on here over the phone. He went on for an hour about his ex and told me her whole relationship history. They have been divorced for years and she is married or lives with someone. Anyway, I knew right then I was not interested in him anymore. His bitter side showed. I was worn out by the end of the conversation. Their drama will wear you out.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 5
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:39:06 PM
He's obviously got some stuff to still work out with/about her...

Throw him back into the pond and keep !!!
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 6
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:46:11 PM
^ ^ ^ ^ I second that motion, Dee!
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 7
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:49:25 PM
Guy has unresolved issued and needs to be dumped ASAP.
 ah-huh
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 8
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:41:25 PM
Get rid of him if he can't stop talking about the ex. There are lots of men out there that would show you the respect of NOT talking about their ex.
 PenAndPaper
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 9
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:49:57 PM
I would still talk to him, but don't wait aorund forever. I would try to find out if he, a) has feelings for you, and b) why he always talks about her. I'd say him a chance first, see how things progress.
 Jules1970X
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 10
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:53:15 AM
If he was just a mate then Id be the ear and listen, if we are meant to be dating...he probably has issues and isnt ready to commit to another just yet... save you both being miserable let him go...he will eventually get her out of his system...but obviously not yet...
 nomenome
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 11
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:58:59 AM
Take him for a walk in the woods and don't let him have a compass... Sorry. Honestly, it sounds like he's not ready for any kind of anything with anyone right now. I'd call it a day. If you want, you could explain gently the reason why, but be ready to jump, because some people in that spot just aren't ready to hear anything like that, no matter how true it may be. It's something he needs to work on without you.
 bailame
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 12
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 1:50:27 AM

he talks about his ex all the time


The next time (and it will be the last time) he does this, roll your eyes then look at your watch and sigh, "I've got to go." Get up and leave and never look back. He won't get the hint and he doesn't really care about you or your feelings. Frankly, you should have been charging him $150 per hour for being his shrink and listening to him. Its too late to hand him an itemized bill for your precious time listening but that would've been good. You don't want to hurt HIS feelings? Lady, he is walking all over you and disrespecting you. Go fishing in a different pond.
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 13
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:14:00 AM
Well... if he's a friend then I listen and do my best to offer helpful advice so he could work through things...

If he's a romantic interest... I slip on my sneakers and RUN!!!!
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 14
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:41:55 AM
I've seen guys do this, when i've gone out on double dates. I think a part of it is, they are trying to show the new girl that they have feelings, that they paid attention to their gf in the last relationship, as proven by how many details they can recall.

Im not sure they realize it just comes across as bitter. And even if it is all happy stuff, it still comes across as not being over that person.

In some cases, if you dated that person a long time, most of the stories you have to tell are going to have the ex in it. But there is a difference between that, and telling a story that has the ex as the main focus.
 ORCAANNA
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 15
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:47:46 AM
Bring a supply of cotton balls for your ears!! I'm trying to humor the situation, no offense. Actually, i would flat out tell him, that you ain't dating his ex, but him. Be assertive, and tell him in so many words that YOU are done dating his ex, and that if he persists with the conversations, including his ex, that you are going bye-bye for good....like in sayonara. What are you doing playing second fiddle to him?????????????
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:56:56 AM
Sometimes people do not realize that they are doing it and if they were with the person for a long time, it is difficult to tell a story or experience without the X being a part of it. If he is your friend, tell him that while you don't have a problem with some venting, continually bringing up the X gets old. Let someone else be the rebound girl. If there is really something between you it will still be there down the road.
 Sens 2.0
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 17
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:13:51 AM
Everybody has the so-called 'baggage.' But the beginning of a true romance is like a good meal to be shared with good company. The atmosphere is perfect. We bring our hungry selves, happy to enjoy the feast that awaits. The table is set for both of us. And that baggage belongs on the floor, at our feet, and not to be opened up and dumped on that table. Perhaps later, perhaps after dessert, we might want to talk about past situations, but then, the meal was so good, why spoil it with something that is not positive? And if a person thinks that it's OK to start off a relationship by dumping their bags up on the table, then they are clearly not ready to start a new healthy relationship .
Keep your bags off the table. Live for the feast.
 dennisflora
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 18
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:16:01 AM
Throw him overboard and start trolling again, or start charging him $75.00 an hour for the therapy sessions.
 VeddiVeddiVixxen
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 19
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:54:56 AM
How about.."I'm sorry! I have another call coming in!"
 adamski67
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 20
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:02:43 AM
As a guy I'll tell you he's not over her. He might be angry at the way she's treated him or want her back. Either way, you'll be the one that suffers. I know when I felt like this about my ex (many years ago now!) I didn't even realise I was doing it. Before you dump him - which I was going to suggest - just ask if he realises it's all he talks about and ask him if he thinks he's ready for someone new. Personally speaking, someone could still have come into my life back then and bowled me over. I think I was fixated with my ex because of the way I felt I'd been treated. I was jealous that she'd moved on so quickly. I DIDN'T want her back, though. It was just a grieving process and coming to terms with the loss.
 jannick06
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 21
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What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:24:49 AM
................Punch him
 skylark009
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 22
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:41:50 AM
I dated a guy once, who talked about his ex being a psycho. Clear red flag there. Guys who talk about their exes in such a way are guys to completely avoid because they have issues still regarding their divorce. It doesn't really matter what the issues are, just stay away from any man that continues to live in the past.
 Rhett1
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 23
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:42:46 AM
I'll tell you the same thing a male friend told me when I mentioned my ex..."Why do you give that guy a second thought? Talk about life as it is now." And the two times after that that I absentmindedly brought up my ex, my friend told me "Yeah, whatever...moving on..." and talked about something else. Now, mind you, my friend can be somewhat blunt...almost annoyingly so, but he was right and it worked.
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 24
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:45:01 AM
Anyone, male or female, who can't stop dwelling on their ex. Isn't over them yet. The bagage hasn't been properly handled yet. They are not truly ready for a new relationship.
 LeSportSac
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 25
What do you do when a guy you are talking to talks about his ex all the time?
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:58:54 AM
Well! You could listen to him talk about his ex-girlfriend just to get an understanding of his past relationships. You might actually gain a little insight about him that way.
He may also need a compassionate ear just to talk about his feelings. Hey! That's what girlfriends are normally for, so you can do the same for your guy friend. But if the conversations are sincerely boring you could let him know that you're not interested in talking about his ex-girlfriend and you would like to talk about other subjects.

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