| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:01:05 PM | I just wanted to know how many people, especially women, think a man should be upfront and honest about any erectile dysfunction problems that he may have prior to becoming intimate with a woman? I dated someone recently who waited until the second time we were intimate to inform me of his "problem", leaving me to think that it might be something that I wasn't doing. I thought that was very inconsiderate of him to not let me know.
Thanks for your input,
Blue | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 3 | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:31:23 PM | Most guys would be overwhelmed, embarrassed and self-conscious to admit to the problem. You are right, they hope that things will be different with a different woman. Can you imagine if it was one of us women that had the same problem. We would blame ourselves for every wrong in the world.
As long as the guy still pleasures you in some other way, that helps. For him to go to the Doctor would be a big plus in his brownie points.
In a new relationship, it must be devastating to them....I'm just glad it is not me.
I must admit that I need the 'full meal deal', so I hope the guy would be willing to have something done about it. ms | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:33:07 PM | | He told you - he was up front - he told you on the second occasion of you being together - I think that was quick and brave of him!! Some might leave it way longer than that - or not tell you at all!!! | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:46:46 PM | Could you please explain what you mean by that vhdc? And FYI, he was also a smoker so that's what brought us together in the first place.
Blue | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 3:55:41 PM | | Occasional smoker? Do you smoke every day? Once a week? Once a year? Smoking just compounds ED problems, you might want to think about quitting together. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:03:19 PM | Wow.....
Every man will have this problem at least once in his life. Say he did tell you his medical history. Tell us how that would have made a difference to you. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:18:46 PM | If he had told me prior to us being intimate Poster, I would have at least been prepared for it when it happened. And I wouldn't have felt guilty about him not being able to maintain an erection. As it were, I thought that either I wasn't turning him on enough or I wasn't doing something right. Btw, he was several years younger than me so I really didn't expect this.
Blue | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:28:45 PM | For obvious reasons this is one subject that guys don't like to talk about with anyone, even their doctor and they rarely, if ever, mention it to their buddies.
I can't blame you for being upset for him waiting until the second time being intimate being the time to tell you. On the other hand, maybe he thought that the first time would have gone well because you were very exciting to him.
A woman shouldn't get upset if he doesn't get hard no matter what she does. It could be from a number of reasons and nervousness (performance anxiety) is the main one that I can think of, especially on the first encounter.
If he continues to have problems he should talk to his doctor. It could be caused by anxiety, medication, and yes, smoking along with a number of other reasons.
Believe me, it bothers us alot more than it bothers you. We feel like a woman who has had a mastectomy, no longer sexual...... | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 5:19:59 PM | | I just don't get why you're upset that he told you the second time you were together. Give him credit for telling you. Ask him to see his doctor about Viargra or other ED medications. I can tell you from experience that little blue pill is amazing! | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:32:28 PM | Honestly, I think they should be totally up frount about it!
There was a time I dated only men 40 plus but honestly because of this disfunction, it has turned me off so much I now prefer to date younger guys..
Hey , I know it sounds im all about the sex, im not but im also a Scorpio and sex, espicially lots of it is very important to me!!! | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:06:21 PM | | I would have thought women your age would have learned by now it takes more than just a hard-on to have a satisfying relationship with a man. You might try getting intimate before you get physical. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:12:46 PM | OP,
ED typically doesn't happen in healthy males, there is usually underlying issues. However depending on his age then age could be a factor. If he smokes, if he drinks, if he has any sort of diabetes whether diagnosed or not...and the list goes on and on...
If he isn't like 80 years old, he has some underlying health issues, and yes, smoking does cause ED.
Cheers! | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:25:45 PM | blueyed,
Did he get you worked up and leave you hanging or did he do something for you?
Just nosey
You mention he waited til second time,does that mean it worked the first time? | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:29:42 PM | vhdc
Nice tramp mark you have
An you are right to question about the smoking, have read reports about it cutting bloodflow. Thats why people smoke, it gives a calmness by slowing things down. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:38:28 PM | SCHEHERRAZADE..I would of thought a woman your AGE would of learnt by now not to judge others without knowing a tad more about them than what you read in a post! Perhaps you have noting more to offer a man other than companionship...Obiviously I and Original Poster both feel GOOD SEX, Espicially an Erection is a very IMPORTANT PART OF A RELATIONSHIP!.. SOOOOOOOOOO Sterotypical...Theres nothing wrong with a woman who has a healthy view of sex, fact is Its the one area men would wish more women would indulge more into..Intimacey is great but eventually its gotta lead to more,..and im not into flounders..
That being said...I get what your trying to imply , however judging ones caracter or ethics isnt neccesarily the best way of getting ur point accross..
Yes my answer to most everything is JEST GET LAID, but hey..You dont have to sleep in my sweet little wet spot now do you?
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:09:46 PM | | Baby Phat 4u, how about "jest try spellcheck", at least once in a while. WTH is "karma sutra". You might actually give the impression of knowing a little about it if you were to spell it right. Bad, bad, me for judging, oh, but weren't you? | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:21:46 PM | blue, I'm as up front as I can be about potential ED, and it's not something that any clever-minded woman can overcome if she's also too fat and out-of-shape ...or out-of-touch w/ the reality and fact that not all men 'turn to stone' when a medusa shows herself to me.
As for a man who waited to tell you during your second attempt to be intimate w/ you, perhaps the first time was as good as it's going to get. If you were in more of the friendly sort of mind, you'd appreciate his being honest. Otherwise, you just validate that too many women don't just use sex to have a relationship w/ a man, but want it more than a lady may 'lead us to believe' otherwise. Good luck. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:47:13 PM | Yes, acgoat, that's the problem.......he left me hanging both times with no explanation. He did tell me later that the reason he has ED is because he's Type II diabetic and has other health issues that he takes meds for.
Everyone seems to be taking off on the smoking issue and FYI, I always ask in the beginning if the guy noticed on my profile that I am a smoker. I don't want them to tell me later that they didn't know because it's there if they bother to read my profile. It also says that I will quit smoking whenever "I" decide to and not when someone else tells me I should. We all have our addictions......some of us choose to admit to them.
Blue | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:58:07 PM | Thanks BabyPhat, too many are quick to judge when they don't have the whole story. But that's cool, they can keep "bringin it"...I can take it......lol.
I knew when I started this thread that I would get such judgemental responses and also that it would "strike a nerve" with some men.........that's ok too.
Hit me with your best shot because I won't hit back. To each their own and that's what these forums are all about....people voicing their opinions. I would never pass judgement on someone for any reason......but hey, that's just me.
Blue | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 6/25/2007 10:03:42 PM | | Yes, men should disclose that they might not be able keep up their end of the bargain. However, women should disclose all fake and enhanced body parts. Also agree to appear without make prior to the signing of any contracts. | |
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