| Dress Code Update
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:56:06 PM | Memo to All Staff:
Wearing certain colors can be upsetting to other employees or to clients.
Therefore, here is a list of forbidden colors, with explanations.
Blue: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes associated with sadness
and depression, as in "feeling blue" or "having the blues." It is also
associated with vulgarity as in "blue humor."
Red: This color may encourage violence in the workplace due to the fact that it
is the color of blood. It is also forbidden because this color is sometimes
associated with Communists and the Republican party, both of which are known to
offend some people.
Yellow: This color is forbidden because it is associated with cowardice, and
that is not the proper image we wish to project.
Green: This is the color of rancid food, and may upset some people who have had
bad experiences with such.
Orange: This color is absolutely off limits due to the fact that it is the color
of prison uniforms. We cannot permit our employees to look like escaped
convicts.
Purple: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes thought of as a "gay
pride" color, and therefore may be offensive to homophobes.
Brown: This color is considered downright vile. It was the color worn by nazi
officers, who to this day are sometimes referred to as "brown shirts".
Pink: Corporations often notify workers of employment termination by issuing a
"pink slip." The color pink could bring out unpleasant memories for people who
have lost jobs, and is therefore forbidden.
Black: This color could be associated with the Black Plague or black magic, and
western movie villains. We certainly cannot allow our employees to dress like
villains, and any black clothing is absolutely forbidden.
Gray: This color was worn by Confederate soldiers in the Civil War, and
therefore could be construed by some as projecting a pro-slavery message.
White: This is the color worn by the Ku Klux Klan. We cannot allow employees to
look like Klansmen, so all clothing in this color is strictly prohibited.
This dress code will be strictly enforced. Any employees found wearing any of
these forbidden colors will be required to immediately remove all clothing that
is in violation.
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/2/2007 3:51:58 PM | | I am going to post this by the water cooler. | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:51:29 PM | I went to the US Patent Office trying to register some of my
inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the
desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal
info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of
them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the
office without even telling her about my folding bucket. | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/4/2007 3:31:10 AM | | Did they have a sudden increase of decreses in job apps ond or retirements? | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/4/2007 9:36:22 AM |
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the
office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
You crack me up Eeekster... | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:32:25 PM | folding bucket lol... nothing makes me laugh these days but thats nifty  | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:54:42 PM | nothing makes me laugh these days
Ah, a challenge!
An elderly man approached a very beautiful young woman in Wal-Mart.
"Excuse me," he said, "I've lost my wife somehow. Can you talk to me for
a couple of minutes?"
The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow said,
"Certainly, Sir. Do you know where your wife might be?"
"I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours,
my Wife appears out of nowhere." | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 7/25/2007 6:11:01 PM | eeek very good
and it brings back memories  | |
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| Dress Code Update
Posted: 9/27/2007 6:22:38 PM | In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged
with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a
pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a
telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut
a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I
was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an
approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.
"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with
a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight already?" | |
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