| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 6/30/2007 8:33:07 AM | Don't give me any crap either! You asked for it, I'll give it. I'll tell you about your title, your pictures, and the content of your narration. So, are you brave enough to ask for advice? I have seen so many screwed up profiles, it's no wonder you aren't getting any dates! Give it a try, it might help.
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 6/30/2007 8:36:19 AM | oh oh!! do me, that other guy did me, and it was nice ... i was a bit sore afterwards .. (aren't we all!)
ive got a new improved version up with all the stuff he suggested!! | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:03:05 AM | thegreendragon...
dude are you serious? okay i get the screenname. being this is the first one i'm going to critic, i'll try to be somewhat nice.
title: nice, but too long
pictures: no head shot, where is your smile? bad lighting, two pics are grainy. however, props for having more than one picture.
narrative: WAY TOO LONG! got bored after the first 2 paragraphs. this really needs to be shorter. average person will spend 30-60 seconds reading a profile. put the stuff you do the most, your most favorite activities, etc. you are grouping senteces together that don't fit together. words mispelled and misused (rabble is an iron stick one uses to stir molten iron? - not a verb). punctuation here and there, either use capitol letters or don't! you are a college grad - show it! try not to be negative, use positive. instead of listing all the musical groups you like, list the genres (hip-hop). just way too much information.
faux pas: don't admit you love cats/kittens = sissy. don't tell us what is in your fridge. who cares??
summary: major overhaul needed, better pics, shorter narrations, watch spelling and punctuation- 2 out of 10 rating
good luck and keep fishing!
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:21:33 AM | rabble also means "speak in a rapid, confused manner,"
don't trash other people's grammar unless you actually know what yo are speaking of!
"30-60 seconds reading a profile"
yes true, you should never settle for average tho :)
haha, i love cats!!! no way - let me be a sissy then!!, im not going to misrepresent who i am, all your advice is great! if it was your profile!! | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 6/30/2007 3:35:45 PM | thanks for the advice, i'll think about it. glad to see you can take criticism well! 
oh and this was about you not me. i didn't ask! shorten the novel, get better pics sissy boy. hehe! i'll be happy to critic the revised version. rabble probably does mean something else in canadian, didn't think about that. i guess if you want someone canadian, it'll do. LOL! | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/1/2007 5:12:05 AM | appletonguy:
title: good, to the point, tells people what you want
picture: only one, i think a profile should have at least 2 pics (head shot and full body shot) and always a smile
narration: leave out "well", "i am", the word "and" used too much, repetitive. for example you may want to write- dad of 3 great kids that are the world to me, spending time with family is very important. you need to list some of your interests and likes. cooking, cleaning, housework, snuggling, romantic - what about activities, music, hobbies? communication is very important in all relationships, but what makes it important to you? first date should include what interests you, and if you prefer to leave it up to your date, then say that. "the people that are going" not needed - we all know this is you and your date. try to say more what you mean, such as "depends on the interests of my date" or "something interesting for both of us". or even a suggestion of what you might like to do and why. you state you want a friend, someone to hang out with, yet you write snuggling up and romantic. this sends a mixed message, not really sure what you want. be more specific, again write what you mean, such as - friends first, if works, long term
faux pas: nothing really bad about this profile, you do seem like a great guy, it is difficult to know what it is you really want from your profile
conclusion: needs more, include interests, be more specific, another pic or two rating: 4 out of 10
good luck and keep fishing
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/1/2007 5:14:55 AM | ok only hurts
i stopped reading after the first paragraph, obviously a joke. you must know why women don't take you seriously with this profile?
good luck and keep fishing
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/1/2007 5:55:52 AM | gr8rix:
title: sounds a bit desperate since most people i know like to laugh unless they are so depressed in which case wouldn't have the motivation to get out of bed let alone be online looking for a date. i would suggest using something such as "love to laugh" or something more catchy.
pics: very nice first pic, that is an A+ photo. however the second one is a bit scary. i think it may be the glasses, not sure. good quality pics.
narration: "prefer not to say" is a red flag to me. i tend to think the person is hiding something. do you drink? no, socially or often, it can be explained in the future in emails. your profile is not confusing as to what you are looking for, friends, networking. you describe your personality briefly, which is good. your interests leave me a bit worried. first word that pops into my head: poker - gambling, hockey - hostility, astronomy - trekkie, physics - intelligence. one of those at least gives me a sense of a man who is intelligent, but the other 3 would need a bit more explanation. you could definitely use more interests. leaving the first date up to the girl is good, however you might want to make some suggestion as to what you'd like also, this shows interest.
faux pas: "prefer not to say" - get rid of it
conclusion: overall not a bad profile, good first pic, can tell what you want, needs more interests and get rid of the "prefer not to say"
rating: 5 out of 10
good luck and keep fishing
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:33:39 AM | txdipper:
title: someone to hang with? not sure what that implies, i'm more of a tell me what you mean person. i am left to assume (i absolutely hate doing that) that you want a friend. then i scroll down and you put "dating". dating to me means you have a romantic interest. this may not be the case for everyone, but i am the one critiquing here. this is confusing.
pics: good head shot, however lighting and quality aren't. need at least one more picture.
narration: "Ok see this is not working all the good ones must be taken...LOL." negative, i'd get rid of it.
"I have a lot to offer someone." good, shows confidence. "I am not rich don't have a lot." you are contradicting yourself here. write i feel i have a lot to offer and leave it at that.
you need to put your profession in there.
"I do have old fashion values. I open the door for my lady and things like that." too wordy, suggestion: i have old fashioned values such as opening doors for my lady.
"I am looking for someone that is real and wants to be treated like a lady." "that is real" is a bit ambiguous, someone that is honest, trusting, no drama, be more descriptive.
"If you are wanting someone that knows how to treat a lady please contact me and we will see what happens." this is okay.
"Tired of the games and the players (yes women can be players) if you are on 100 peoples favorite list you are not here for something special." good point, shows what you want.
"I want something special." good, but what makes someone special to you? don't we all want something special? i won't go into punctuation or run-ons, but it does make it easier to read.
your name needs a mention here, makes me think you chew tobacco. again, just my first thought. don't like to comment on profile names because you can't change it unless you change the whole profile.
the ribbon is a nice touch, i've seen it on a lot of profiles and i think it is okay to put in there.
faux pas: "drinking >3 x week", good to be honest, however red flag - alcoholic. okay if you are looking for someone who is like that. although i can't say i've ever met a "lady" who drinks often.
conclusion: better pics, need to know what exactly you are looking for, get rid of negativity. overall profile is a bit contradictory.
rating: 4 out of 10
good luck and keep fishing
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