| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:47:40 PM | as an older woman (34) who prefers younger men (early/mid 20's) i've noticed a trend. while lots of guys cream themselves with excitement over being intimate with an older, more experienced woman...they become intimidated by the concept of dating one. i realize that some younger men don't want to date anyone, and that all they want is to sow their *wild oats*. but there are plenty of younger men whom i meet who are searching for a gf, but only if she's their age or younger (and often less experienced)...but those same guys are more than a little excited about having a woman like me as an ongoing fwb or occasional fling. we're a fantasy, but not someone to take seriously.
i'm sure other guys have a range of excuses from what their mom or buddies will think, to insecurities regarding what they can offer an older more experienced woman, to wanting kids when some older ladies (40+) might not be interested anymore, to needing to fill a protector/provider role in order to feel masculine in a *real* relationship. however, despite all those reasons...the thought of an older woman makes them practically wet themselves.
so guys, what gives? why will you f*ck and get all freaky with an older woman, but not consider her for a dating or long-term relationship? we get your rocks off, so why not take it to the next level? | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:56:42 PM | why are people so trigger happy with the delete function in these forums?!! (fortunately not enough people voted to delete.)
this has been my experience many times, and i'd like the perspective of men and women who've found themselves on both sides of this situation. i want to understand the reasoning behind it. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:09:30 PM | | I think alot of guys in thier 20's think they're gonna catch alot of flak from thier friends and are afraid that they won't be able to relate as easily to someone older as they would to someone thier own age..... also the younger you are.... the bigger the age gap seems. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:18:54 PM | I would say it isn't the age difference as much of the age bracket you are targeting. Most guys in their twenties aren't ready for a relationship with anyone. They are having the dating time of their lives.
I seem to meet a lot of guys in their early to mid thirties when I am out with friends. They think I am close to their age. But I am honest and tell them how old I am. If they are settled in life, they have told me they want a relationship and would like to pursue it. They want a secure, independent woman.
I dated a guy for 6mths last year who was 8yrs younger. We got along great except he lack some character qualities I must have in a person. He would of stayed if I didn't end it.
I just met a guy last night who is 31. I thought he was a little older and he thought I was 34-35. I told him I thought I was too old for him and much older than he thought. He said he didn't care how old I was and I didn't have to tell him if I didn't want to. I told him I am 44. He said.. so, I don't care about age and it is not an issue with me, is it for you? We got a long great, had so many similar views in life, he asked me to get a bite to eat and he called me today and asked me out for tonight. I already had other commitments and couldn't go. But we already have plans to see each other in a few days. I had qualms about the age difference but decided to at least give it a shot, we had a lot of chemistry, I am attracted to him, and we could and talked about everything. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:28:51 PM | | crazy, I sense that it's by nature that younger men can only be serious for dating a same-age-as or younger woman ...purely for the 'go forth and multiply' aspect that comes w/human nature. The question that I have is, what do you have to offer a younger man besides possibly 'teaching him the ropes'? I'd imagine that most already have mothers, and Demi Moore has career connections for Ashton. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:52:12 PM | | well i hardly want to be a mother to any man i'm dating...lol. i certainly don't get into a maternal role, nor do i offer career opportunities for young and aspiring corporate climbers. i don't intend to use a younger man, any more than i wish to be used. my attraction towards younger men isn't that basic...i just seem to connect moreso with 20-somethings based on chemistry, interests, scene and social environment. early 20s is often just fluff, i admit to not expecting too much there...but 24-29 is an age group i'm very attracted to and tend to pursue with more serious intentions...yet the outcome is often the same. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:32:43 PM | Personally... I don't have any kind of problem being in a relationship/dating an older woman. I was in a relationship with an older woman (11 years) for about a year and a half, and it was fine. I didn't have a problem with it and neither did anyone else as far as I know...
In terms of being capable of being in a relationship... that's up to the individuals involved.
I had no problem thinking of her as long-term material.
the giggleparts - viciously victorious in vivid validity | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:35:46 PM | thats funny because my last two relationship were with much younder men they didnt have the committment problem I did
I didnt want to be seen out in public with them didnt want the judgement
so I believe your statement to be wrong
this is just one opionion
opionions are like bums everyone has one | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:17:28 AM | I agree its a notch on their belt to be able to say they slept with an older woman.
Sadly it appears that most men do not want to date a woman their own age or older. Most prefer younger it seems for their firmer flesh, and the older you get the more it seems to apply. How shallow is that? The unfortunate bi product of this is a bevy of lovely mature but still single ladies... | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:22:49 AM | my experience has been opposite to yours jannick, but i don't believe my statement is "wrong". i've never felt uncomfortable to be seen in public when going out with younger men, and i've certainly never been embarassed or worried about the opinions and judgements of others. it's the guys i've gone out with that seem to have a far greater issue regarding what others think than i do...mind you, there are some guys who share my point of view and don't worry about age differences (they're just rarer).
also, i don't want anyone to presume that a preference for younger men indicates i don't date men closer to my age as well. i do, just not quite as often. mid twenties is most common for me. i have tried to focus on guys closer to my age group lately (late 20's, early 30's) as i've been getting a bit weary of dates with much younger men leading to nothing...like everyone else, i'm still trying to sort out what works best for me.
haha if we had the answers, we wouldn't all still be single would we? ; ) | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:43:36 AM | Sorry but I have dated some younger guy , they are younger in numbers but not in looks. I mostly pick some younger man who wants to date me when I meet them in person, the actaul meeting face to face will be my deciding factor if I wanted to go out with them and trying to know them better. There are some younger guys who are nice and really honest letting you know if they sincere or not. Everyone have to know one first before deciding an intimate relationship. Hope I wont be criricize for dating younger man , but things happen before you know it.    | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:57:15 AM | | one reason abaou that. sometimes older women worried about manything...i like to spend my time,i want to speak about her problem.but sometimes you are thinking about many detail...i am sorry for my poor writing skills so i am not native speakers. i try to be polite. i hope i did | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 1:03:00 AM | I have no idea. I guess the guy knows that it would look weird if the woman actually "looks" a lot older than them and they are out at the mall or wherever holding hands and junk. Now me, eh... I look young anyway, but I don't mind seriously dating an older woman if we look right together and we vibe like that.
But it's probably a self-conscious thing, if nothing else. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:17:06 AM | CrazyCurlz I'll gladly toss in my two cents on the issue you've raised, and before I do I just want to make it explicitly clear to all who read this that I am not speaking of you specifically, just addressing the topic of older women and younger men in general...
Quite frankly, younger men love the concept of an older woman from a sexual standpoint because as women age they tend to finally lose their inhibitions that our sexually-repressive and double-standard society imposes on them in their youth. I'm 27 and I STILL occasionally date girls in their early twenties that claim to have never masturbated, and some that are completely sexually-clueless. When asked why, they simply reply "I just never thought to try it", or "it's dirty", etc. For young guys, that can be a huge turn off and so older women seem more appealing as they tend to embrace their sexual appetites instead of repressing them.
However from a relationship standpoint, some men, and by no means all, are subscribers to the belief that older women simply won't remain attractive for that much longer... Say a woman is in her forties and is dating a man over a decade her junior, in his mind he may be simply thinking "Does this have a future, or am I going to wind up in my mid-thirties with a wife that's already going gray/menapausal?"... Suddenly the fantasy seems less hot as the guy progressed from age 25 to 35 and the woman he's dating has gone from 40 to 50...
Personally, I wouldn't date a woman 10 - 15 years older than me unless she was a model because I doubt she'll age well enough for me to still be attracted to her 5, 10 and 20 years down the road. Hence I choose not to start something I uncertain I'm willing to finish. I'm 27 and well-built, if I can find a 35 year-old woman that's the same and works hard to maintain it, maybe we have a shot... Otherwise, I'll stick with the 25 year-old in the hopes she grows comfortable with herself in time and develops into the sexually-confident woman young men covet...
Just my two cents, happy fishing to all!  | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:46:45 AM | | Like another poster said -- guys that young are doing just that -- dating. They're trying to nail as many women as possible and an older woman is always a fantasy for young guys. Bottom line is they're eventually going to gravitate back to younger, hotter chicks for relationships. Sad, but true. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 20 | |
| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:08:45 AM | | I have only had one relationship with a younger man who was 8 years my junior. Very sweet, very kind and incrediably respectful of me. Now there is a young man that I work with who is 32 and ADORABLE and shamlessly flirts with me. If I didn't work with him, I am not sure I would say no to him. As a matter of fact, I know I wouldn't and I know going into it that it wouldn't last forever, but he is that cute and charming and FUNNY, it would be worth it. It would definately be a live for the moment kind of experience. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 8:20:50 AM | | imo, age is just a number which was formulated for the government use. Age does not tell you alot about the man himself and since every person is different, the maturity of each guy at the same age is also different. Now why do younter men love older woman? Most older woman knows what they want, and us guys have this curiosity of "mating" with this experience lady because you are older they assume u have more experience. Alot of stereotyping but that's how we function. Why wouldn't the younger guys date older woman, wellnot many at least. I think it's just a scary unpredictable future i believe because most guys does care alot about how their girls look. Well not all, i'm one of them since i'm looking for something else. Anyways, like a post above me said "i don't want to date a person who i can be a mother of" or something like that. Think 20 years later, and u get the picture. It's just my 2 cents lol hope you like it :) | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 10:24:18 AM | I know that's an exception, but my best friend, who is now 40, met a guy 14 years younger when she was 34. He was just two years older than her son. They began to date, and he had enough brains to understand that the age difference nothing. Unbelievable, they are still together and happy, despite of all s**t from relatives and friends and so on. I've spend also a lot of time of convincing her that he's too young, he will not let you really in his world, but I was wrong. For good.
He told me once, that he was concerned in the beginning what the other people will think, but than he realized, that she's his Woman, and not only because of the sex. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 10:26:29 AM | I don't even like dating. I want to be in a relationship, as that's where it's at for me. Obviously, one has to go through those awkward feeling out periods, but that simply isn't my sweet spot... a relationship would be, however.
I must be an aberration or something.
The truth is my experience with someone my own age was lackluster at best, but my experience with someone older was extraordinary.
the giggleparts - What's that in the background daddy? Is that the moon? No.... that's your daddy's big white fat ass.... I was going through a phase.... never go through that phase.... it's a really awkward phase, with lots of public nudity and pine cone related accidents. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 11:39:45 AM | | Wow! I want an older woman mainly because they are ready for commitment and long-term relationships and all that jazz. I want an older woman not because of her "experience in bed" but because she won't play those little girl games any more. I've even mentioned this to my parents once and my dad was supportive of the idea mainly because of what i stated. I've mentioned it to my friends and they told me to go for it. Only problem is, I can't seem to find an older woman who want's a younger man. Then again I'm only 20...which i believe is preventing me from meeting older women do to the fact that I can't even drink alcohol legally. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:28:01 PM | isdisbetterferu: you can drink in canada...the legal drinking age is 18 in alberta, manitoba & quebec, and the rest of canada has a legal drinking age of 19.
as for the rest of the posts i've read, there's a lot more promise and hope than i imagined for someone with my preferences. perhaps it's not been an issue of younger men, but rather of meeting the wrong younger men ; ) | |
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